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Posts Tagged ‘creative writing’

Tiny dust motes drifted across her vision, carried by gentle breezes from the open window next to her bed.  Fascinated by their lazy fall down toward the 100-year old hardwood floor, she gently blew them away, stretched and arose from her soft bed.  “What a glorious morning,” she thought to herself as she wandered into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

Looking into the mirror, she laughingly wondered who was staring at her in the antique mirror over the pedestal sink.  The face reflected was so much older than the young-at-heart girl standing with a toothbrush in her sadly gnarled hand.

So many years had passed in what seemed a single breath.  It simply wasn’t possible that today was her 80th birthday.  This moment she began her 81st year on this earth.  Giggling at the idea, she choked on toothpaste, spat it all over the sink and reminded herself, “You’re just being silly, Helga; age is only a number.”

For the grand accomplishment of staying alive for 80 years, she decided a special breakfast was in order.  Pancakes; yes, that’s what she would fix today, pancakes.  Pancakes, real bacon and the total decadence of rich, homemade maple syrup, not the nasty stuff from the grocery store.  Her syrup came from trees tapped right there on her Vermont property.  Yes, it was going to be a very special, indulgent day.

As she readied the old iron skillet on her now antique wood-burning stove, she heard Tom scratching at the kitchen door.  Tom was a barn cat who had wandered into her life one day and taken up residence permanently.   They had an agreeable arrangement, she and Tom.  He kept the vermin away, and in return was fed and allowed to nap on an old child’s iron bedstead she’d covered in a tattered quilt in the corner of the ancient kitchen.  Turning away from the stove, she opened the door and let the mangy cat come inside.  Tom jumped into his bed, turned several times, kneaded the quilt, causing a strange clicking noise, and finally settled in for a long nap.

The old woman lingered over her breakfast, savoring every bite.  Treating herself to a second mug of tea, she knew it was time to get her day started.  Just like every other day, a brisk walk down her mile-long drive for the morning paper and back again would get her blood flowing and work off some of those pancakes. She relished the exercise and fresh country air.

Taking the dishes to the sink, she looked over at the old iron bedstead with Tom softly snoring and smiled.  She rinsed her plate and mug and placed them in the drainer.  She would wash them later.

Lovingly, she bent down over the bed, moved the sleeping cat to one side and gingerly wrapped the quilt around her little sleeping angel.  “Time for our stroll, my lovely,” she cooed to the bundle in the quilt.  Tom rearranged himself in the bed and returned to his nap.

The old lady strolled through the house, out the front door and down the lane softly singing and cradling her bundled quilt; bits of bone and hair, the remains of her only child born 60 years ago and still the love of her life.

Yes, it was an absolutely glorious morning.

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Pat had no idea what to expect as she neared her old neighborhood. This was her first visit back in so many years. The years had flown by. Married, divorced, buried both parents and a baby; this journey to her childhood home was a difficult one, yet she felt compelled to see it one more time.

Each street she turned down brought an avalanche of memories; some good, some not so good. She could hear kids yelling and screaming as they skated down the sidewalks or played in makeshift cardboard box forts…so long ago. Sitting on front porches, hanging out on the steps with the gang drinking Cokes and singing the latest tunes, dreaming of going to the beach after graduation some day; the memories started spilling out of the boxes where Pat had stored them.

On that corner, under that street light, her first boyfriend had kissed her. Such a bittersweet memory; he had been killed in the war. Over there – why, that used to be a corner market where Pat always went to get candy. Now it’s a McDonald’s. Things change. People change. Life goes on.

Arriving at her old street, Pat was surprised to see that many of the houses were gone; torn down and replaced with huge structures that didn’t fit in with the neighborhood architecture. These behemoths sat on tiny plots of land and made the houses around them look sad and neglected. What a shame.

Pat’s house was still there in its original form; the carport was intact. She could see the metal fence surrounding the back yard; the same back yard where she had played with her collie, Prince. As she drove by, Pat noticed the old redwood deck that Dad had built all by himself. The house looked so tiny – that’s not how Pat remembered it. As a youngster, that house had been huge with the terrifying gravity furnace in the basement. Pat never went to the basement.

She drove on. No sense stopping. She envisioned walking up to the front door, knocking and telling the owners she had once lived there as a youngster. Would they let her come in and look around? The odds were slim the current owners would allow it; too much crime these days. You can never be too careful. Just look at all the alarm signs at various houses. When Pat lived here, the front door was always unlocked. “How times have changed,” she thought to herself.

At the corner was the two story brick home that belonged to Mrs. Juvinetti. Ah…Mrs. Juvinetti. All the kids loved her. Children would show up at her door and find that Mrs. J had just baked chocolate chip cookies; everyone was invited in and there was always enough cookies and milk to go around. Pat spent many hours at the Juvinetti household and had even roomed in college with Cindy Juvinetti until the night of the murder. Pat hadn’t thought of Cindy in a very long time.

She pulled the car to the curb. The memories were overwhelming her. Pat got out of the car and walked up to the Juvinetti house. The grass needed mowing; the bushes were overgrown and the paint on the shutters was peeling. “I wonder…” she thought to herself.

Arriving at the front door, Pat rang the doorbell and stood back from the door. In a few moments, the door opened and there stood an old, stooped white-haired woman dressed in a flowery housecoat. Though the years had taken their toll, there was no mistaking Mrs. Juvinetti. She was still alive and Pat was so excited to see her again.

“Mrs. Juvinetti!” “Mrs. Juvinetti!” “It’s me, Patty Connor from up the street. The old lady looked at Pat and slowly started to smile. Then she opened her arms and in a soft voice said, “My little Pattycake!” “Come in, come in!”

Pat walked into the house and immediately smelled the mustiness of years of dust and clutter. Mrs. Juvinetti had always taken such pride in her home. Now it was decaying, like Mrs. J. Pat was saddened to see the conditions in the house.

Mrs. Juvinetti led Pat to the living room and Pat sat on the same sofa that had been in that room during her childhood years. It was a very large piece of furniture, with a bright floral pattern now stained and worn with years of use. Mrs. Juvinetti gently lowered herself into an armchair – the kind that had hand-crocheted antimacassars on the arms and the back of the chair – Mrs J had lovingly made those so many years ago they were yellowing.

Pat felt bad she hadn’t kept in touch with the Juvinetti family after Cindy had been so tragically killed. It was simply too painful. And then the years got away from her.

But she was here now and wanted to take advantage of the time as Pat knew this would be her last trip home. Her life was elsewhere now. She would stay a few minutes; have a cookie and reminisce then be on her way.

“Mrs. Juvinetti, you look wonderful,” Pat commented.

“Oh my dear girl, I’m an old woman now just waiting to die. There are so few children in the neighborhood these days. Not many come to visit me anymore. I still bake my cookies, but now once a week a nice lady picks me up and we take the cookies to the hospital and share them with the children’s wing. You know how much you loved my cookies when you were little! Why don’t I make us some tea, dear, and while I put the kettle on maybe you would go out to the garage and get some cookies out of the freezer for me. They will only take a few minutes to thaw out and then we can sit and chat to our hearts content.”

“That sounds lovely, Mrs. J – I’ll run to the freezer and be right back.”

Mrs. Juvinetti slowly got up from her chair and shuffled out to the kitchen. Pat stood up and stayed in the living room for a moment just taking it all in. She turned and went through the side porch to the breezeway which led to the garage. Opening the garage door, Pat saw the tall freezer at the end of the room and walked over to it. Pat smiled at the thought of those wonderful chocolate chip cookies.

She opened the freezer door and reached inside for a package of cookies. But there were no cookies in the freezer. There were no shelves in the freezer either. All that was in the freezer was the bent and long-frozen body of Mr. Juvinetti.

Perhaps it’s true…you can’t go home again.

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How her feet hurt in those new penny loafers as they both ran to catch the bus.  “Slow down, please!”  It was so difficult to keep up with an adult who wasn’t hampered by ugly new shoes.  Leaping up the stairs of the bus and dashing down the aisleway to the last seats available, she knew without a doubt those loafers were going to cause a nasty blister on at least one heel. 

Oh, how hot it was on that bus.  All the windows were down but the wicked stepmother got to sit next to the window and the little girl with the hurting heels sat in the aisle seat bumping up against a rather large man on the opposite side of the bus.  He was sweating profusely.   The bus was crowded that day and the young girl hoped with all her might their trip would soon end.  She had recently worked on vocabulary words at school.  Recalling the word “aromatic”; the child thought it a perfect word for that bus. She smiled to herself for a quick moment.  It was going to be a long day.

Arriving at their bus stop, she was hurriedly pushed off the bus toward their destination, that ugly lump of hospital looming on the horizon.  She didn’t want to go there.  Her feet hurt even worse than before; she was hot and sweaty, and not looking forward to what was coming.

Inside the hospital, the smells changed drastically.  There was disinfectant, strong perfumes,  and a strange odor she couldn’t identify.  She hoped it had nothing to do with dead or old people as she knew that’s what happened in hospitals; you go there to die. At least that’s what they told her had happened to her real mother.  She never was quite sure of the story.

Into the doctor’s office she was propelled and quickly found a seat, slipping out of those nasty loafers she had been forced to wear.  Why would anyone wear brand new shoes knowing full well a day of walking was ahead?  She sat and pondered her position in life and realized she had no say in anything.

As her name was called, she put on her new loafers over the raw patch on her heel and limped into her future.

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It was the ugliest wallpaper she had ever seen. A white background with threatening tendrils of dark green ivy growing every which way.

Surrounding the small dining alcove, the wallpaper appeared to grow onto the walls like kudzu gone wild inside the house. She found it very disturbing to her young brain and it hurt her eyes to follow the various tendrils as they snaked their way around the room without ever breaking apart. Ever. The tiny room had been wallpapered in one fell swoop. There were no seams. She wanted seams. Seams would mean the ivy had no chance of continuing to grow into another room.

At about 10 feet by 12 feet, the dining room was cramped at best.  Still it was stuffed with very old and heavy mahogany furniture.  Between the furniture and the ivy tendrils, she knew the room couldn’t breathe.

Against one wall was a buffet upon which stood a regal sterling silver pair of pheasants. She always thought silver birds were a bit pretentious and she waited for them to tarnish. But they never did. Other priceless pieces of sterling sat on the buffet and yet none of it was ever used.

Across from the tall buffet was a small mahogany table with only two chairs. Other chairs were hidden somewhere else in the house to be brought out when company arrived. She had once seen the table reach the entire length of the dining room — something called leaves had been put into the table. She thought again of the wallpaper. It had too many tendrils and not enough leaves; that was what was wrong with it. It wasn’t natural.

Nothing about that house or its occupants was natural.

On top of the table was a piece of lace. She had been told that it was very old. She liked to touch it and one day she put her finger through one of the holes and made them bigger. She thought it looked nicer that way — random. She didn’t like patterns. Patterns were too predictable. Predictable was dangerous.

It was some time after Christmas when she walked through the dining room at night alone. Others were in the house but they were occupied with someone called Lawrence Welk in the family room. The hallway light was on gently illuminating the dining room.

She casually visited each corner of the dining room and gently ran her fingernail down the corner of the wall from top to bottom. She had to step on one of the two chairs to do this and hoped no one would suddenly want a snack from the kitchen and discover her. She was on a quest. Corner by corner, she scored down all four until each wall was separated by a seam and the ivy was no longer connected.

She slept well that night.

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sometimes the load is heavy,
and I pray for respite.

sometimes I think God is busy and my prayers are relegated to the bottom
of the pile in the folder in the cabinet labeled Insignificant.

sometimes I feel guilty complaining because
 I know there are atrocities in the world and by comparison my issues are miniscule; specks of dust in God’s eye.

sometimes I wish God would look at my folder just once and not rubber-stamp me as “to do later”.

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she was given some coins
to go to the store on the corner
Grandmama needed gingerale

she walked through the front path and out the white gate
closing it carefully behind her
like the big girl she was, she walked all the way to the store

she reached up to the counter and told the nice man
Grandmama needed gingerale
here are some coins

He got a bottle, took some coins,
and gave the rest back to her
she left the store happily holding her gingerale

halfway up the block a big dog came dashing out of a yard
he snarled, growled and barked at the little girl
she started to run; he began to chase her

SHE DROPPED THE BOTTLE AND IT BROKE

she ran and ran and ran until she got to the white gate
the nasty dog was right behind her
she managed to get into the yard and slam the gate

Grandmama was on the porch and came down the stairs.
Grandmama didn’t care about the dog.
Grandmama was angry because the little girl dropped the bottle

she learned a valuable lesson that day
a broken bottle of gingerale
was more important than a 4-yr old child afraid of a dog

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Job in Distress painted by Hendrick Goltzius in 1616

 

“We are right here and we are your friends.” 

“I know where you are but I’m scared and I’m alone and I’m not sure this is what I want to do.”

“We offer you peace and quiet and a way to go home and at our home there is no pain…ever.”

“It sounds so nice and, frankly, I am tired of the pain…so very, very tired.”

“Open the door to us…we love you and we understand.”

“But if I let you in I can never let you back out again.”

“We won’t let you down…we are your friends…who but us have constantly stood by your side and comforted you?”

“Well, my husband has never left my side throughout this entire ordeal, but he must be getting tired too.”

“We know he is tired and could use the rest from your troubles.”

“Well, I’m told God will never leave me, but I can’t hear Him and fear he doesn’t care.”

“Then come to us and we will ease your pain and help you drift away slowly and peacefully to a place where you will never hurt again.”

She limped into the bathroom.  Tears streamed down her face.  She was so afraid and she was so close to making a decision that would change everything.”

“We’re here for you.”

She opened the door and saw the little red bottles on the shelf, both full of magic.  Picking up the first bottle, she undid the top and looked inside  There were many pills there.  So many pills.  She put the top back on and reached for the other bottle.  Taking off that top she looked at how many pills were in that bottle…at least twenty.  More than enough to make the pain go away.

“Come to us.”

She put the bottles back in the cabinet and slid the door shut.  Limping back into the bedroom she climbed into bed and sobbed.

“I’m here my precious child.  I’m here.  I told you I would never leave you and I meant it.  Be strong – reach out – grab my hand and hold on tight.  I will not ever let you go.  I never said life would not be painful; I said I would be with you even until the end and I meant it.  I have plans for you my daughter.  Rest and know I will always love you and carry you when you need it.  Rest little one, rest so tomorrow you may see what I have in store for you.  I love you, child.”

She went back to bed and she slept.

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All was quiet in the Banagher Glen that morning.  Dew kissed the bluebells and gentle primroses lined the leaf-strewn pathways through the old woods.  Perched on the cliffs, twisted oaks clung to the edge with all their might so as not to fall to the Glenedra waters below.  For it was rumored that in those same waters lived a mighty serpent; one so great that St. Patrick himself was unable to drive him out to sea and left the huge snake there in the pool forevermore.

 Kieran stretched his skinny limbs remarking to the lads, “Right, then, another lovely day is it?” His mate Aiden looked toward the blue sky and agreed, “Aye, today is a right lovely day. Tis good to be alive!” 

 “Maeve?  Are ye with us, lass?” bellowed Kieran.  “The day’s  a’wastin’!  The sun won’t be out forever you know!”

 “Aye, Kieran, I’m here, ach aren’t I always right behind ye?”  Maeve shook as she giggled and all the lads joined in on the joke. 

 “I’ve not heard a peep from Callum this glorious morning!  Callum! What say you?”  Maeve bellowed down the lane. 

 Callum fair cracked the silence with his yawn, “I’m bringin’ up the rear, just like every other day.” Then he, too, lazily stretched his limbs toward the sun, shaking off the night’s cold.

 Banagher Glen was Siobhan’s very favorite nature reserve in all of County Derry.  She loved to wander its ancient twisty paths and look up at all the trees. For hours she would walk in the quiet woodland talking to the ancient trees, wondering to herself what they had witnessed in all their many years.  She could identify every ash, rowan, hazel, and hawthorn but felt especially close to the ancient oaks, their limbs gnarled and twisted.  Her friends laughed to find that Siobhan had even given names to some of the oaks.  Many days Siobhan thought she could almost hear the mighty oaks whispering as she passed by. 

 “Such a fine young lass,” remarked Kieran.  “Wouldn’t you agree, Maeve?” 

 “Aye,” whispered Maeve, “fine lass indeed.”

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on a quiet Sunday afternoon
she lies sleeping on the couch
curled at the end against the good pillow
with her tail wrapped around her
a ragged chew toy hanging out beneath her head

a goofy creature wrapped in 76 pounds of fur
breathing deeply and evenly
lightly snoring, sound asleep
nothing could awaken her

except the sound of me
crunching on a Graham Cracker

in her haste to fully wake up
and get off the couch and over
to my comfy chair before all
the Graham crackers are gone

she trips over her own chew toy
and contemplates it on the floor
what to do? chew toy or Graham cracker?

she hesitates a split second
before arriving at my feet only to find
the Graham crackers have been consumed

with a sad look cast my way
she picks up the chew toy and
hops up on the couch
closing her eyes, she sighs
and returns to dreamland

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Her tiny tears fell as she lay huddled in the small hard bed in her cold room. Sitting up she saw her broken doll on one of the wooden chairs by the rickety child-size table on the other side of the room. She got out of bed and went to get her doll. She cried harder. Like being lost, she couldn’t find Mama. Mama had not been there for days and days and the little girl was frightened. She held her doll very tightly.

She began to sob; heart-wrenching cries as if her very soul was being torn from her little frail body. “Where are you? It’s dark and I’m afraid. Mama?”  Like Alice, she wondered had she fallen down a rabbit hole?

Hearing noises below, she opened the door of her room and walked barefoot into the hallway, past her brother’s room, past her parents’ room, past the only bathroom; the one with the broken black and white tiled floor. She stood at the head of the stairway as the voices grew louder. She heard the one called Grandmother. She was afraid of Grandmother. In her 4-year old mind, Grandmother was the Red Queen who cried “Off with her head!”   No, she didn’t like the Grandmother at all and for good reason.

On tiny cat paws, she crept down the staircase; one step, two steps, stopping and sitting down on the third step. Peering through the rails of the banister she could see her father at the dining room table, his head bent. Behind him stood the giant imperious Red Queen Grandmother in a long black dress with a feathered black hat on her big grey-haired head.

Though she was silent as a mouse, the Grandmother knew the child was on the steps.  Turning cold black eyes in her direction, the Grandmother pointed at the child and quietly said, “This is your doing.”

And Mama never came home again.

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