Parchment Monkey

Caitlyn rose every morning depressed and sad.  Her body fought her; everything hurt.  She struggled to get out of bed and railed at God for making her go through every day with so much pain and difficulty.  Her life was so unfair.   Caitlin was only 21 years old.  She had hoped to be a Youth Minister by now.  And every morning, through her tears, her mind replayed the day she stopped believing in God; the day God took everything away.

Caitlyn and her brother had been raised by a single mom.  Her mom worked two jobs but still found time for her children. Caitlyn knew it was tough on her mom having to work so hard just to pay the bills and put food on the table. Her mom instilled in them a sense of pride in doing a job well as if you were working for the Lord.  They went to church each Sunday where Caitlyn listened to stories of how Jesus loved her and how merciful and compassionate God was.  Caitlyn was active in the church youth groups and slowly she realized she wanted to spend her life in service to God.  She felt she was being called to minister and she vowed to do better in school in hopes of making it into Seminary.

As an honors student, Caitlyn had her choice of colleges.  The more prestigious universities wooed her with offers.  She was somewhat excited by the lure of the big colleges, but her heart still longed to go to Seminary.  Her pastor wrote a letter of recommendation for her to a Seminary in upstate New York not far from home and the mother and little brother she adored.  She would be able to come home often for visits.

When she received her acceptance notice Caitlyn also got another unexpected present; a full scholarship provided anonymously.  Caitlyn’s mom cried tears of joy and relief, knowing how difficult it would have been to pay for her daughter’s education.  She told her daughter this was a gift from God and Caitlyn should thank God for his infinite goodness and mercy.

The months flew by fast and it was time to drive to the Seminary and get Caitlyn settled in at her dorm.  Caitlyn, her brother and mom all piled into the old family van laden down with a few books, clothes, an old laptop, her iPod, and the cool bedspread set her mom had found at a local thrift shop.  The family happily sang along with the radio as they headed to the Seminary.

Halfway through the intersection, Caitlyn’s mom never saw the driver run the stop sign.  Caitlyn’s mom and brother would never see anything ever again.  Caitlyn woke up in the burn unit of a hospital.  In an instant her life had irrevocably changed.  That sweet face was gone; replaced by something out of a horror film.  Caitlyn prayed and prayed but each day she awoke to the same horror; her family was gone and her life was over.  She would never get to Seminary; she would never minister a Youth Group.  Her God had left her and she was desolate.

She spent most of a year in rehab, had several operations to repair some of the damage done to her once lovely face.  Still bandaged and terribly frightened, Caitlyn walked out of that hospital determined to put her life back together. She felt so alone; her family gone, and the friends she did have suddenly had no room in their lives for a disfigured freak.

Caitlyn had a little money in an account left to her by an old uncle who had died some years ago.  With her meager inheritance and the settlement from the accident, she was able to rent an apartment and begin to rebuild her life.  She tried to go back to church, but the stares and the pity were simply too much for her to bear. What was the use?  God had left her a long time ago; now she would leave Him, too.

There were no jobs to be had; interviewers were horrified by her appearance.  Oh they never said anything, but she could see it on their faces.  She was a monster to them.  Caitlyn was living in a horror film with no end.  She was so angry and again she screamed out at God blaming Him for what had become of her life.  Mom always said God loved them and that every good and perfect thing came from Him. Mom was wrong; God had robbed her of her life and her family and nothing about that was good, let alone perfect.  She stopped praying entirely. In a fit of rage, Caitlyn threw her bible into the trash and hurled even more abuse at God for doing this to her.

Caitlyn slowly withdrew from society completely.  With technology, everything she needed could be ordered online and she would never have to leave the comfort of her home.  She finally landed a job writing for a local newspaper; they sent her meager paycheck straight to her bank. Caitlyn never had to see anyone.  She could order food from the grocery or from any local take-out.  She bought what few items she needed using her credit card and her laptop and retreated further and further into her self-imposed exile.

One afternoon as she was bringing her mail back up to her apartment, Caitlyn noticed the apartment door across from hers was open.  There were boxes everywhere and it appeared a new tenant was moving in.  An elderly man with a shock of white hair sticking out from his head was limping across the foyer of the apartment headed right for her, and he was smiling.  Caitlyn quickly opened her own door and shut it firmly behind her, not wanting him to see her up close.

She couldn’t get the old man out of her mind.  Caitlyn thought about taking him a welcoming gift but worried he would be thoroughly repelled by her appearance.  She decided she couldn’t take the chance at yet more rejection and she settled back into her lonely existence.

Weeks went by and Caitlyn would retrieve her mail from the downstairs lobby, ride the elevator back up to her apartment, but she never saw her new neighbor.  She decided it was time to stop thinking of him.

Caitlyn was awaiting a delivery from UPS and as her doorbell rang, she never considered it could be anyone other than the delivery man.  She opened the door wide expecting to see someone in a brown uniform but instead was met by the smiling face of the elderly man who had moved in across the hall.

Feeling panic, she wanted to close the door, but couldn’t.  He introduced himself as Jim; she told him her name was Caitlyn.  He smiled and she found herself opening the door wider and inviting him inside.  He looked straight at her face, never flinched, smiled wider and told her he’d love to come inside for a visit.

Caitlyn fixed tea; they talked.  As the hours went by she found herself telling him her story.  He was a patient listener.  When Caitlyn finished, Jim reached over and took her hand.  “Child, don’t you know that God never left you?  He feels your pain every day and weeps along with you.  He wants only good for you and you must believe He does have a plan for your life.  Don’t give up on Him; He has never given up on you.”  Jim talked more of God and Caitlyn listened.  He had such a soothing voice; this little wizened old man.  Caitlyn found herself comforted just by his presence.   She forgot all about her ravaged face.  Caitlyn invited him to stay and have dinner, although she didn’t have anything special to offer him.  Jim was happy to stay and tickled at the thought of sharing a frozen macaroni and cheese casserole.

After dinner, he helped with the dishes and they had another cup of tea in the living room.  Jim said it was time for him to go but he had enjoyed his evening and it had been a pleasure to meet such a lovely person as herself.  Before he left he took her hand again and reminded her that God loved her and called her His own. Caitlyn smiled as she closed her apartment door.

The next morning as Caitlyn was on her way into the kitchen to make tea, she noticed an envelope sticking out from under her front door.  She leaned down, picked up the envelope and turned it over.  On the front was simply her name; Caitlyn.

She opened the envelope and inside she found two pieces of paper.  The first was an announcement of a job opening for an Assistant Youth Minister at the nondenominational church around the corner from Caitlyn’s apartment.  The second page was a letter from her former pastor addressed to the pastor of the nondenominational church recommending Caitlyn as an excellent choice for the position of Assistant Youth Minister.  Caitlyn’s mouth hung open in surprise.  This was so strange.  Caitlyn immediately thought of sharing this with her new neighbor; after all they had spent the prior evening discussing God.  Maybe Jim had been right; perhaps God did have a plan for Caitlyn and she had simply closed her heart to Him in her anger and pain. Surely he would have some insight into this.

She walked out of her apartment and crossed the hallway.  The door to Jim’s apartment was slightly ajar.  Caitlyn gently knocked, then pushed open the door to find the apartment was empty.  No boxes, no furniture, no Jim.  Caitlyn didn’t know what to think.

She returned to her own apartment and dialed the apartment manager.  “What has happened to the new tenant in Apartment 7B?” she asked.  “That apartment hasn’t been rented in months,” replied the manager.  Caitlyn was alarmed. “No, you must be mistaken; I met the new neighbor just last night.  We had dinner together.”  The manager sighed and said, “I’m sorry but Apartment 7B has been vacant for several months now; I assure you no one has rented it.”

Caitlyn hung up the phone and smiled.  She walked into her living room and there on her coffee table was a new bible, opened to a section of the New Testament.  Her eyes followed the marked passage and she read aloud from Hebrews 13:2, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”  Sticking out from the back of the bible was a piece of paper.  On it was written, “God loves you, and so do I.”  Jim.

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