Life hits hard, sometimes below the belt. Rules don’t apply it seems, there’s no sense of fairness, no sense of deserving, just a non-sense really. I’m angry, so, so flipping angry but I cannot hit out at what angers me. I have to wake every morning, and face the day ahead. I know others are mayhap in the same sort of boat, but there’s simply no way one can stop and say enough, … I find myself a carer, In that my partner is in need of full time care/attention and basically cannot fend for himself.

It’s been nearly two years now, … obstacles have been jumped over, blindly, hoping for the best. I’m in charge of medication, dressing, emptying the commode, bed making, … and I sit, staring blindly wondering what’s next, … things are truly better since Robs collapse and hospitalisation, … much better really… but I get so tired, … of life really, …I’m usually a positive kind of person, face the problem and sort it kind of thing, … but….hey Ho…off to search for grit and determination…I’m sure it was under here…or maybe it’s up there in the heavens somewhere?..