Months

Dates are critical, especially so during witch hunts when it is absolutely vital that we find out who knew what and when they knew it. And nothing is more frustrating to the zealous prosecutor than to get the dates confused because someone used the wrong format, saying 5/6/7 instead of the proper form of 7/5/6, or was it 6/5/7? Fortunately we've moved into the two thousand teens, so we will no longer get the year confused with the month, but through diligence I am sure we can manage to confuse the month with the day or the day with the year.
    We can use three letter abbreviations for the month, which only carries a single character penalty, but really, why can't we use just a single character for the month? I mean we have 26 letters and only twelve months, we should be able to come up with some kind assignment that would be mnemonic, and shoot, let's go for broke, let's make it in alphabetical order as well!
    So I was musing on this subject and I started trying to make one up. It wasn't too hard, and I do believe it is perfect for the task.

•            JAnuary
•           FeBruary
•         MarCh
•            ADvil for April because taxes give us headaches
•            MEi for May because those foreign devils can't spell
•              Fun for June because school is out in June
•              Guly for July because G sometimes sounds like J
•  August is Hot
•              I go back to school in September
•              Jack-O-Lanterns in October
•              Kill a turkey for Thanksgiving in November
• Everybody Loves Christmas in December

Ok, it's a little USA-centric, but you may as well get used it because USA-culture will soon dominate the world! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Advanced droplifting

Recent dialog:

“It’s windy today. Maybe I’ll go release that thank-you balloon I got a few weeks ago.”
“Is anyone going to want it when they find it?”
“Can’t imagine who would…”
“Then it’s littering.”

I had to admit the justice of the point. I would never just open the door on a windy day and toss out a wad of torn gift wrap, but somehow it seems different with a balloon. Maybe since it goes up instead of down it’s not a nuisance, but festive.
Do those mylar balloons conduct electricity, or reflect radar? Couldn’t releasing one then be a science experiment? Or what if I attached an addressed post card? Maybe it would fly to Nigeria, and someone would find it and reply (“I have the courage to Crave indulgence for this important business…”) Then it would be in the cause of World Peace.
The sky’s the limit Musing along, I thought about putting my neighbor’s name on the balloon, or anyone’s name; and not just on the balloon, but on anything. An advanced form of droplifting could involve writing other people’s names on the old stuff I leave around the office. (“Who is Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr., and why is his busted coffee maker in the break room?”) It’s anonymous gift-giving, really. The gift is not presented in person, and the recipient isn’t informed. Maybe there are co-workers, senior managers, or famous people you admire, but you’re too shy to present them with the entirely serviceable coffee mug you’re no longer using. Just scratch their name on the bottom and leave it on the file cabinet.

Stolen entire from Monday Evening because it was the best thing that happened to me this weekend.

Web Site of the Day

Explosions & Boobs

Ein Parachute Problem Numer Zwei!

Tam posted the video clip of South Park's Blame Canada song, which led to some wandering around on the web, which eventually led to this entertaining story about parachutes, Canada and South Park: Ein Parachute Problem Numer Zwei!

I also figured out why I don't watch South Park: the squeaky high pitched voices are too hard to decipher. I like my entertainment to be easily consumed. I don't want to have to work for it.

Update June 2026 corrected the link to Tam's post. The link to the story has died, Cloudflare returns a 525 error. Used to be you could press on regardless, but it looks like Cloudflare has put a stop to that. The story link: 

http://rhinoden.rangerup.com/ein-parachute-problem-numer-zwei/

Dual Bifocals

At lunch yesterday Marc pulled out his new bifocals. Marc is the youngest of our group and has never worn glasses. Come to think of it, Marc and I are the only ones who do not wear glasses as a matter of course. Anyway, as soon as Marc puts on his new glasses a chorus erupts from the table about how he should have gotten blended bifocals and about how much better they are. I beg to differ. I got a pair of blended bifocals awhile back and I hated them. The field of view is very narrow, too narrow to even read a page in a book without turning your head from side to side to scan each line. I took them back and got regular bifocals instead. I pretty much only use them for reading, driving at night, or going to the theater.

So we are talking about eyeglasses and Glenn mentions that there are bifocals with reading lenses at the top of lens as well as at the bottom. They are made for people like plumbers and mechanics who have to work over their heads and need to see what they are doing. It sounds like a good idea, but is there really a big enough market to support this kind of specialized lens construction? You betcha. I ran a little internet search without much luck, but I did find one site that looked promising. I sent an inquiry and they responded in the positive:

Smith & Wesson Dual Bifocal

who works above the head or upside down and need to look up for near vision as well as down.
Occupational lenses are perfect for construction workers, assembly line workers, tool operators, painters, mechanics, electricians, plumbers, pilots, dentists, librarians, department and grocery store clerks.
Help prevent neck and eye strain and headaches.
ANSI Z87.1+ Impact Resistant…99.9% UV Protection
At station glass....not recommended for use while driving, walking and moving

Update January 2017 replaced missing pictures.

Random Joke

Yesterday, I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart for my dogs; Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital the last time.

On the bright side though, I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IV’s in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

Wal-Mart won’t let me shop there anymore.

Stolen from Dutty's Blog. Via Dustbury.

Stainless Steel Sharpie!?!

Due out in March. Via Rocket Jones and Dustbury.

Blogs I Read

There are five or six blogs I read every day. Not all of them get updated everyday, but a couple usually are. And they post links to other stuff, and if I am interested in the post, I will follow the link. I hardly watch TV at all anymore, except sometimes I wll watch something I have recorded from the military history channel, usually about WWII. That's always interesting.

Blogs I read:

• Dustbury
  
• View From The Porch
  
• The Adventures of Roberta X
• Stu Savory's Blog
• Syaffolee
• Rocketboom

And then there's Elena, who did the photo essay about Chernobyl.

What to do.

I'm supposed to be looking for job, but I've been looking for a year and a half and I haven't found one yet. Makes me think I'm not going to find a job, at least not by looking the way I have been.

I'm a pretty smart guy. Actually, I'm a very smart person, and I think that may be part of the problem. Most of the jobs I have been looking at are something I could do without trying too hard. They are just "grist for the mill", as I been telling prospective employers. You have some computer programming work to be done, let me at it, I will feed it to my brain, grind it up and generate a program that will do the job. I suspect that is not what they want.

There is a crew of guys armed with gas powered weedeaters in the swamp behind my house and they are making a heck of a racket. Makes it a little hard to concentrate, but I will try. I think they are part of the blackberry eradication effort, but they seem to spend all their time cutting grass. I have faith that whoever is charge of this project knows what they are doing. This weedeater crew was here one day last week, and a couple of days last spring. It just goes on and on and on.

I have been thinking that perhaps I should be looking for a management job. Most of the managers I have worked for in my career have been grossly incompetent. I have no doubt I could do a better job than any of them.

I have been working in this business long enough that I know what goes into producing computer software, so I have no doubt I could certainly do the job, and probably do it better than most. However, I have no actual experience in this area, so simply looking for a management job is not going to work. I would have to charm my way into such a position, and if I happened across the right person at the right time, this could happen. This would require endless hobnobbing with people in the business, and I could do that if I thought it would really pay off.

But is that what I really want to do? I could do it, and do it well, but would that be the best use of my talents? And just what are my talents? What would be a good use of my talents?

I get ideas, lots of good ideas on how things could be done. Some ideas are for completely new things, some are simply improvements on existing things. But like the old saw says "ideas are a dime a dozen". It takes a lot of work to turn an idea into something real. That may be the root of my attraction to software. Computers give you such a leg up on getting things done. They allow us to do things that a few years ago were inconceivable.

Right now I have a few abstract projects to work on:

• getting the sound on my Linux box to work
• getting the Linux screen resolution control to work properly
• my spiral periodic table
• my low distortion world map
• work on my gears program that would enable me to:

1. work out the gears for my toy clock
2. work out the gearing for my three speed bicycle crankset

• getting my online presence sorted out, including:

1. webpage for my job search
2. online photo storage for family
3. podcasts for lunch bunch

Maybe I should look for a job as a teacher at a college or university. Or maybe I should give up the job search entirely and just retire.

Curmudgeons

So I've been trying to put together a podcast of our Thursday lunches, and the first thing we need is a name. Dennis likes "curmudgeon". I like it also, but I am afraid it may be getting over publicized. So Dennis goes exploring to see just how widely it is being used. His report:

‘Curmudgeon’ has potential, with the right qualifier. Can we aspire to such high standards?

‘Curmudgeons corner’ may be taken see: http://curmudgeons.blogspot.com/

There are a few other web sites with curmudgeon in the name. my favorite (name only) is

The ‘inchoate curmudgeon’ at http://blog.louspringer.com/


ker MUJ en) noun A cantankerous person; an ill-tempered and disagreeable person.

curmudgeon n. An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions. [ Origin unknown.] from http://theconstructivecurmudgeon.blogspot.com/2005/10/definition-for-curmudgeonhood.html

Cur-mud-geon [origin unknown]
1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man.
2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

Taken from Jon Winokur, The Portable Curmudgeon (New York: NAL Books, 1987).

Comment: (1) should be avoided; (2) should be embraced by those who can withstand it.

From http://www.concentric.net/~marlowe/curdef.shtml
A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved. They're neither warped nor evil at heart. They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities. They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy. They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor. . . . . . They attack maudlinism because it devalues genuine sentiment. . . . . . Nature, having failed to equip them with a servicable denial mechanism, has endowed them with astute perception and sly wit.
Curmudgeons are mockers and debunkers whose bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease. They can't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for feigned cheerfulness. Their awareness is a curse.
Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message: They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology. They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee. Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor.

Searching The Web

At lunch Thursday one of the guys was telling this story about a local High School principal who assaulted his wife, and then a month later his wife ends up dead. Sounds like the plot of one of those TV murder mysteries, but supposedly it is a true story.

So I go home and consult Google and I find . . . nothing. I found some mention of the school , but nothing about the principal. So I'm thinking that whoever told my friend this story was just pulling his leg, just to see how gullible he was.

I reported my lack of success to the gang, and today I got this link back:

http://www.katu.com/news/4821811.html

which seems to validate the original story. This story has most of the key words I was looking for, but Google did not turn it up, at least not in the first couple of pages. But you will note that this story was written in 2006.

I have also been using Google to try and find solutions to the problems I have been having with Linux. This is a particularly thankless task. Seems like every little geek who has learned how to get around in Linux has put up their own forum, and copied ALL the content from all the other forums. So you get dozens of search hits for sumdood looking for an answer to the same problem you are having. All these hits are for the identical question posted on a different forum, and none of them have answers, or if they do have answers, they are four years old, which makes them pert near useless. Linux is changing so much and so fast these days that answers from this year are the only ones that are likely to help, at least for certain classes of problems. So I added "2008" to my queries and that helped, though there was at least one forum with a 2008 copyright date on information from 2005. Big dummies.

Pictures & Politics on the Internet

I originally used this picture in a post I made last month, but then the web site where I found it replaced it with a political statement. This is the second time in the last week that I have had a picture I used in my blog replaced with something else. Well, this is the second one I have noticed. Who knows how many others have been changed?

So once again I went to the internet archive and found the original photo. This time I noticed something a little odd. If you look in the shadow cast by the mule you will see what looks like some white zigzags. Turns out it's a watermark: www.pomapata.com. If you look closely you make out some of the rest of it going across the picture. It just happens to start in the donkey's shadow. Never noticed it before. In any case I downloaded the picture before I inserted it, so pomapata.com won't be able to change it out from under me anymore. However, clicking on the picture will now take you to their web page instead of just to their picture.

Update December 2016 replaced missing picture. Did not keep the link.

Pergelator Lite

I just started another blog. I wanted somewhere to post all the stuff I came across that did not make into this blog. I am not quite sure why I thought I needed a second blog for this. Might be because I don't have much to say about it, at least not more than a comment or two. Mostly it's just stuff I have stumbled across, or people sent me, that I thought was cool, or funny, or somehow interesting. So if you are tired of listening to me, and are looking for something a little lighter, you might want to try Pergelator Lite.

Cell Phone Follies

My brother just sent me a message:

"My cell died in the washer, just to make sure, I put it in the oven, that cooked it."

Update December 2016 replaced missing picture.

Next Blog Button

I thought I would look around on the net to see if I just came across anything interesting. At the top of this blog page there is a header bar provided by Google. One of the items in the bar is "Next Blog". So I thought I would give it a try. I have tried several times over the past few weeks, but I haven't had much luck. Most of the blogs it takes me to are in Spanish, which is fine, except I don't speak Spanish. Crafts and babies are also hot topics, but they aren't my babies and I am not really into crafts. Photographs are also popular, but unless someone has something to say about them, they don't hold much interest for me. Occasionally I will come across something interesting, but more often than not I will end up on a blog page without a "Next Blog" button, and that is the end of that.

CPDRC

Not often I come across something that just blows me away:



Byron's videos.

Article about this project.

Thanks to Fair Maiden of the Mindful Blossom

Mr. Dustbury tells a funny.

During those days when I was expected to be able to know how to hurl those little pineapples, I learned: "Once you pull the pin, Mr Grenade is no longer your friend."

http://www.dustbury.com/

Radio Traffic Report

Originally posted February 7th. Now with video!

From my brother Michael in Chicago:

"On the lighter side, I was driving to work this morning on North Ave, an 8 lane thoroughfare, coming up to the Villa Avenue intersection, listening to newsradio and they announced on the traffic report that "There's a truck broke down at the intersection of North and Villa, dropped it's driveshaft right on the pavement..." and there it was, a big dually facing the wrong way in traffic, blocking 2 lanes, with a broke driveshaft.

"So the traffic report was accurate, for once."

Wittles is up!

For Patrick O'Brian fans, this is Killick's familiar call that dinner is served. Nowadays one might say "vittles are up", but if you want to be correct, you would spell it "victuals are up". I have used the term "vittles" forever, but seldom saw it in print. I often came across "victuals" when I was reading, but always mentally pronounced it "vik-chew-els", never realizing in my fifty-odd years that they were one and the same.

New Format

Time for a new layout. "Scribe" was okay, but it had a few quirks I did not like:

1. You cannot tell a lower case 'o' from a zero (0), and
2. The numbered bullets did not work. They just showed up as ordinary bullets, and
3. Ordinary bullets were spaced too far apart and showed as little flower patterns.