Month: Nov 2020

NO MURDER NO MOUSTACHE – Post-Brexit Christmas Party/Teimlad Nadolig digital download (Smash Mouse)

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ho ho ho

Hot on the heels of his disturbing Halloween single Creepy Whisper, Owen is this time arching an eyebrow at the crowded Christmas market with an anti-Brexit, Tory-bashing variation on the traditional tinsel-tickler. After the dark-country mood of (Serial) Killer Product Placements, Owen is back to his old tricks. Post-Brexit Christmas Party, a speedy folk-punk jig, rollicks along with gusto – and sleigh bells. The lyrics depict a post-Brexit Britain brought low by Tory mismanagement and corruption. People are dying in the streets due to mass unemployment and the sell-off of the NHS, while in the ‘big house on the hill’ its architects are holding the titular party. Matt Hancock braggs about ‘torching a warehouse full of PPE’, Michael Gove is snorting coke and cynical master-manipulator Nigel Farage is on Santa’s naughty list but still gets all the presents by dint of having all the right friends. The less said about Boris Johnson the better.

Despite its grim story, the overall feel of the song is one of defiance, leaving me with a delightful vision of Christmas 2021: social distancing is a thing of the past and somewhere, a house party is packed to the gills. It is snowing outside and in the house everyone is dancing, singing and embracing life while this song plays. The bloody Tory’s are still in power though.

I’m not spoiling the surprise by revealing that Teimlad Nadolig (Christmas Feeling) is sung in Welsh, am I? If you don’t speak the language and are hoping for some light relief, forget about checking the English translation, as it reveals a similarly miserable picture. The jokey, Tory-bashing lines of Post-Brexit Xmas Party are stripped away, leaving a lucid, devastating message: a poverty-stricken Christmas (there’s a pattern emerging here that I just can’t put my finger on…). Owen certainly wields a deft touch when it comes to writing an enduring tune. While musically it may veer a little close to middle-of-the-road, the vocal style, Welsh language and stark take on a Christmas lyric act as an effective MOR buffer.

A bleakly fun time to be had then with these two additions to the festive canon and, along with WONK UNIT’s Christmas In A Crack House, could be the start of a new breed of miserabilist, alternative Christmas tunes. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Released as a download on the 1st December 2020. You can also get a pack of artwork-based Christmas cards with or without download codes and with or without a special hand-written message from NO MURDER NO MOUSTACHE from Smash Mouse Records.

PROFESSIONAL AGAINSTERS – The Mediocre Sounds Of… LP (Cimex Records)

On By personalpunkIn PUNK ROCK, Reviews1 Comment

professional againsters, professional alcoholics

Fresh from the beer-spattered stable of Cimex Records and hot on the heels of the leather, bristles, studs and denim that was the KNIFE FOR AN EYE LP. Twenty-one tracks of beer-worshipping punk rock n’ roll, with loser redneck lyrics that have to be satirical. Coming across like a harmless version of GG ALLIN throwing up on the MISFITS or JOHNNY MOPED kicking the shit out of THE RAMONES, these guys are ‘old, fat and hate everything’. Except alcohol.

There are multiple songs with ‘beer’ in the title and Born in a Bucket of Piss is my second favourite song title of 2020 (the first being A Cold, Raw System by THE DOMESTICS). Generally though, they espouse a philosophy of being ‘simple men’ who have ‘had it with chicks’ and just want to go to the pub and drink until they soil themselves.

If there was ever a lesson in holding off on a review until after several plays, it’s this album. On first listen, the blockheaded brain-deadery threatens to disguise the fact that there are some incredibly catchy punk rock songs on offer. They get caught up in the meat of your brain until you wind up singing those doltish lyrics while you’re peeling the spuds. They may be old, fat and hate everything but they sure know how to craft some quality old school punk rock tuneage. A scuzzy delight.

100 on yellow, 400 on black. Out now. Order from Cimex Records

NO MURDER NO MOUSTACHE: Creepy Whisper digital download (Smash Mouse)

On By personalpunkIn PUNK ROCK, Reviews, UncategorizedLeave a comment

creepy, queasy Halloween fun

NO MURDER NO MOUSTACHE do Murder Ballads? This is no Nick Cave but Owen is certainly creeping me out with that WHAM! pic sleeve piss-take. Tongue firmly in cheek (his own, hopefully), he serves up two tracks of deranged serial killer confessionals, backed up by damaged-country-folk. It’s a little odd and, a year ago, I would have shaken my head in disbelief and moved on to the latest PIZZATRAMP platter. However, NMNM won me over with the Hold My Beer EP, followed by their astonishing cover of PAPA ROACH on the Tony Hawks Tribute album, so I’m all in.

(Serial) Killer Product Placement finds the narrator waxing lyrical on his brand of choice for committing unspeakable crimes – Adidas for running away from the cops, Black & Decker for dismembering bodies – you get the idea. It’s darkly humorous until it’s revealed that this psychopath suffered abuse as a child, and a dig at Tory cuts to the police is shoe-horned in. Queasy stuff. Musically, its like a spooky WONK UNIT playing Ghost Riders In The Sky. There’s a low budget B-video here:

The Gingerbread Man is a chilling first person account of a depraved slayer with a taste for human flesh. A simple lullaby hook will lodge itself in your brain while black-hearted lyrical twists sit uncomfortably alongside a faint novelty song whiff.

These X-rated ditties are darkly delicious and, at first glance, seem like harmless holiday fare until you catch on to those disturbing twists, which may cause you to choke on your Horlicks. Never fear though, the next release is rumoured to be a bossa-nova-disco-thrash medley of S&M Santa tunes. OK, I made that up. Sort of. There will be a Christmas release called Post-Brexit Christmas Party. Or will there?

Available now: https://nomurdernomoustache.bandcamp.com/album/creepy-whisper