Monthly Archives: August 2015

Thought.

Transition

Leave a comment

The past few days have been interesting. I talked in my last blog post about when I started soccer last year and college and how I had such a tough time making that transition from being home all the time to being on my own. Last year was definitely a lot harder than this year but its still can feel difficult at times. To be honest, I love being at home. There’s just so much I miss about it. My dog, my bed (I have the most comfortable bed on Earth), my family. I do see my family pretty often still because my college is so close to home.

Anyway, so I think I’ve figured out that I am just not good with that transition period during a significant change in my life. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there with this issue, but stuff like this just gets to me. For example, junior year when I spent over a year fighting for that one girl and then we broke up after 3 months, I was messed up for months. Still to this day, I think about her from time to time. Although, she’s not the same person she was back then, but I always wonder. I guess that change is similar in significance to making the transition to college and living on you’re own and playing college soccer. It’s like that in between period where you don’t really know whats what yet. I really don’t do well with that.

I’ve been saying this forever, but hopefully this year I’ll get myself into some kind of relationship. I hate that I say that because people say that you have to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with someone else and be happy on your own. Yeah yeah. Having someone (besides this blog) to be able to talk to about just anything would be so awesome. I’m laying here in my new bed thinking about the praised “netflix and chill” date. Let me tell you, this bed would be absolutely perfect for it. I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually had strong feelings for a girl. Well, actually, yeah I could because it was high school and the girl I write about way too much. I guess that’s the only experience I can relate anything relationship related to.

I’m definitely bad with transitions by the way. ^^^

Thought.

Everywhere At Once

Leave a comment

This time last year, I was having the hardest time with making the transition into college soccer, more broadly college life as a whole. Now I’m back to that same exact time a year later where the transition has already been made. Summer was long and short at the same time. I feel like it flew by, but at the same time, I’ve been home for over 3 months. The carelessness of summer is coming to a close. The semester doesn’t start until the 31st of August, but preseason practices unofficially start tomorrow. I can’t wait to play soccer everyday again. I’m definitely not looking forward to classes starting. All they do is add stress to my life and remind me that I have no idea what I want to do with my life after college.

I always get so many ideas or thoughts I guess when I’m doing other things. Then, the second I get my laptop open, my brain goes from being everywhere at once to being in a more relaxed place. Today was kind of a reflective day, on the summer and on the place I’m in as a whole with college and soccer and every other aspect of my life. I’m still so single and it blows. Girls anymore are so backwards, and I’m sure guys are too. I don’t know. It just seems so hard to meet people anymore without some sort of social media being involved. For example, there’s this girl that I kinda sorta grew up with. She’s my step grandfathers niece’s daughter or something like that. Long story short, we’re not related. That seems to be the first thing people hear when I explain it. Anyway so we have only seen each other like 3-4 times in the past 5 years. We just so happen to go to the same college. So throughout the year, we snap chatted and texted and what not and I always asked to see if she wanted to hang out. She was always down, but always said she busy and would let me know. We never hung out. Then, the families got together on the 4th of July. This was the first time we’d seen each other in a long time. We were there for hours and we barely spoke. I started conversation with her a few times but it didn’t really go anywhere. After so long, I started thinking that I should just cross this one off the list. We left and on the way home, she snap chatted me saying, “we finally got to hang for a little.” Are you kidding? Naturally, i snap chatted back with “yeah sort of” and after that we started texting and snap chatting again for about 2 weeks. Same thing. We talked about hanging out, she said she wanted to, and it still hasn’t happened yet. But she will still snap chat me every so many days. This is so backwards. I’ve got zero interest in getting to know people through texting or snap chatting. That is so ridiculous. But this seems to be the way things are now. You can try to fight it, or go with the flow and neither seem to work.