Coverages

There are but only so many times

That I can tweak my environment

Before it is an unhealthy obsession

And like odd vices, controls our lives

When comfortable feels anything but

It may be used as more of a distraction

Not so much from life but silence itself

While tuning our intellect is important

Some chasms are too impossible to fill

Filling for the sake of filling is hastiness

Perfunctory acts we fail to acknowledge

And we do them to claim something to do

All while pretending that they’re essential

When being honest seems too…vulnerable

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Restrained

The rain no longer falls the same

Nor drip enthusiastically anymore

That amberoid sphere tends to glare

Its warmth and shine land defiantly

Tones of the blue skies lack values

Appearing to be muddled or patchy

My strides are shortened but heavier

And I exhale far more than I’ll inhale

Subject to totality of circumstances

Even echoes of footfalls- fall faster

I take notice while pretending I don’t

It seems to be the only pathway left

So, I follow it with a bit of contempt

Wishing I had ability… to change it

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Spoiler

What ventures prove in advance

Of their fresh, inspired pursuits?

Momentarily, none come to mind

Not even life’s paradigm of love

Any pursuit is a gambit of sorts

We either roll the dice or our eyes

To mentally analyze our options

In pros and cons of taught metrics

Often, we override horrid results

Since we’ve already predetermined

Choice, no matter how distasteful

Our emotions influence decisions

In ways dirt will sway river flows

True nature determines… changes

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Led

I reached summits I unexpectedly found

Trouble was, they were all upside down

I told myself that was the contortion of life

Expectations were an illusion contrived

And chasing them was just a fool’s errand

But as most can attest, I rarely listened

Especially to my inner voice of reason

Who I petulantly believed acted too parental

But nonetheless, I learnt things- eventually

Life mistakes or loves awkward heartbreaks

I suppose I might have avoided a lot of aches

Had I taken a smoother road, most traversed

And missed the mud puddle elucidations

Or fallacy in treading dirty water…whet evidence

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Expressive

I think we see things- different

You speak of love more like a fashion

But I believe it’s more like heaven

Some blame it on changes in generations

And things getting lost in translations

But I think it’s more about true acceptance

Especially if it means changing ourselves

For you, it’s something you’ll simply outgrow

But for me, it’s a place I want to know

And something we all want to hold- on- to

Foundational of all we’ve made from our life

Maybe someday before time fades away

We’ll sit down and close up our divides

I think we’re close but still…out of touch

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Flipside

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In my earliest of daydreams

I could leap off hills of Jupiter

Swim in Milky Way escapades

And all as a young skinny dipper

Tiptoe across the tips of stars

Bathe within colors the cosmos

Dry in warm whispers of sand dunes

But then that suddenly changed

In that very moment, I lost you

I lost my dream abilities too

I sleepwalk in night shadows

Breathe recycled tones of grays

And I haven’t met the sunrise

As ashes of dark begets…my life

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Tenderence

If one were to faithfully look ontologically

They will find mere traces of my presence

On trails long trodden before my existence

Betwixt invisible lines and those in red

Both in spiritual and human intellectualism

Whereby divine emotions I’m ever changed

They’d see my reflection on deeper reflections

Steeped in words uttered by greater than I

As if in part of my mission was to understand

That change for only the sake of changing

Is merely as purposeless as simplicity gets

The same applies to love to be seen as loving

Is as fraudulence can never beget any authenticity

I’m unabashedly a docent… in Loves Cathedral

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Cleave

The storm was getting louder and obnoxious

Wails of changing winds but never promising

Feeling locked in was becoming more efficient

I wanted out, no- needed to get outside reality

Beyond my least understandment of providence

But deeper inside I knew what fate laid waiting

Even if I refuse to authentically acknowledge it

Upon a battlefield of faith and human emotions

Neither one a winner; one feels more the loser

I blindly wept vesper whispers of human words

My heart broke in newer ways I assumed immune

Later I’d realized they were my vanity in motion

Fearing to tread on in silence and darkness alike

To leave only my faith to cast… a lone shadow

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Operatic

I don’t shadow love any more than I shadow box

The two couldn’t seem more polar in my view

I don’t know how one “trains” for love

However, I recognize how one learns to mimic

In my mind, the more impromptu, all the more likely real

Albeit people train to be defensive or protective

Love is not nurtured through practiced reactions

I find it best when emotions instinctively follow micro-cues

Only our subconscious mind can read and decipher

For “love to be love”, one must acquiesce to vulnerability

While a conscious mind stands guard at our door of our trust

Love is invisible, cultivated seepage into a captured heart

Old scars of past betrayals remember fraudulent touches

Centric value of real love remains unconditionally… understanding

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Willful

Some people misuse us as a distraction

In efforts to manage their own sadness

Pretending to care about us long enough

To fool us into a love within themselves

Some people can’t handle true solitariness

Anxious to avoid facing their life’s reality

So, they continue outrunning their sad life

Fear overtakes a person’s self-preservation

They’ll live from one reaction into another

And no understandment of life in-between

Most often they’ll compensate with vices

That will pull them into deeper darkness

As they become a version of someone else

They will resemble but obtusely…disdain

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