Fall out

It’s not easy, as far as I dare recall

In what easy used to look or feel like

Maybe it’s more my romantic notion

Of what I’d require easy to resemble

Maybe it’s a truth. I’d rather not know

But it’s hard to tell after all this time

Perhaps it’s my desperation in disguise

And I’ve subconsciously fooled myself

There are times we change our fashion

Become a new sense of self-satisfaction

Only to discover we dislike the newness

Not all changes are good or proffer progress

Still, no venture no-gain emanates learnt

But at times I prefer to remain …ignorant

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Impacted

On occasions, I venture outwards

As I often find myself, sort to speak

Liken a nomadic man in a fogy haze

Where simplicity meets complicated

As my circle of life is more paradoxical

Tiny pursuits chase after intuitiveness

Where reality is no more as I expected

And all my life experiences have expired

I’ve even gotten lost from my former self

As days dredge up oblivious emptiness

Nights burn a slow candle of boredom

So unscripted, and I’m left to impromptu

While my imagination is dysfunctional

As I still exist inside this… subsistence

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Petri

I never knew my full self before

The alienation and abandonment

Until silence finally introduced us

As if we were partitioned siblings

When in truth, we weren’t permitted

I learnt things from my many dilemmas

And to interact with my fuller self

Self-awareness was ill-advised upon

Almost punishable just for the thought

Some insist we be parts of their totality

Toxic people in lives often cocoon others

Smothering us in their perversion of love

Like wardens but at an up-close distance

Smudged fingerprints remain… as scars

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Tablou

Regurgitated as an abstract concept

The total inversion of reality itself

Assertions replaces past anecdotal

Prudence is exchanged for dramatics

In predication for imaginary excuses

Lazy viewers parrot false accusations

The same fashion bias reporters report

Citing their veiled confidential sources

That intrinsic excuse that protects liars

And to let staining suppositions foster

Paths designed to be adversely painful

When a few insecure fear factual truth

But I remain as an immovable fortress

So- fire away at your own… perils

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Definitive

I find myself off drifting in space

Everything around me in shades of grey

But none of it seems to look familiar

I’m sure they’d draw the same conclusion

If they could process things as I do

Nothing tangible to grasp to change direction

I seem to be locked into a nothingness

Like whispered prayers to the luminous

I’m everywhere else I don’t want to be

And nowhere close to being free

Life is stranger but feels crueler most times

People are easier after they’ve gone quiet

Leaving isn’t the same as being gone

Absence has a way of hurting some… longer

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Incompatibles

My sense of belonging has vanished

Feels more like my second shadow now

A presence or bit of drag in every stride

As if we diverged from a shared source

Yet, remains close enough to nearly touch

On occasions, I feel its frostiness radiate

It provides me a queer sense of disjuncture

More indicative that it intends to linger

Not in an ominous fashion with ill intent

Then again, at other times, I don’t notice it

Maybe I’m too distracted or preoccupied

But those occasions are rare, to say the least

My whet attentiveness becomes aware

Like lightning strikes… out of nowhere

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Anochronistic

The ways stars fall from the galaxy

I transpire as an ember of used to be

Severed from a true counterbalance

Unstable emotions beget heartaches

Life churns out of sync and function

Palisades befall a secular implosion

In a fashion semblance of footprints

Left within freshly fallen snow cover

I traverse through life much the way

My poetic whispers drift in lifescape

Silhouettes dissolving away, darkest

Or the way love softens into apathy

As a tender calm melts unnoticeably

Extruded insight metes out…its trace

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Tsunami

Silent days of perplexation weigh heavier

That unknown drag, that extra shadow

We appear outwardly as sanguine adults

But truth be told, we are scarred parents

And feel as if we failed, knowing we hadn’t

Embarrassed for our children and ourselves

We prattle verbal funambulism of excuses

We proffer presupposition as legit reasons

As our children evade interaction with us

Individualism replaces former familyship

Simplistic lifestyles replaces old traditions

We are unsolicited and unwanted wisdom

Self-sacrificing is no longer a respected duty

When oneself is all that matters…these days

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Yields

Scarcity of nutrients and quench

Within the bounds of a wild garden

The planted subsist void avid visits

Where busy bees less oft traverse

Off in unnoticeable dark corners

As ignored, get a burst of newness

Upon colorful and untended petals

Where branches sway from time to time

Let light radiate an infusion of hope

And the drooping feels energized

Vigor and energy get synthesized

If but only for lull of momentarily

As appearances seem rebalanced

And wilted stretch upright…briefly

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Connectedness

Brokenness never feels half as bad

If we have a few of attentive others

To listen to our personal experiences

Even if they lack an empathy, we carry

Our intimate conversations are bridges

Of trust and mutual understandment

Rather intangible yet extremely vital

Somewhat of an arch to span a lifetime

Akin, two-way dialogue of joint burdens

Even if only for that transient moment

Adequate to re-establish a fresh breath

Merely a microsecond of thought clarity

Chasms never felt so abruptly bridgeless

Like a fog never feels so dense…stranded

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