Scorched

Things I treasured were vandalized or stolen

Their theft of physical items can’t eradicate

My heartfelt experiences or my appreciation

To soothe my soul as river water does rocks

They added freight to my travels, not damage

That extra bit I will absolutely carry onwards

After I’ve chosen to see them in the best lights

They may think me the beast that haunts them

I can’t correct a fallacy they chose n to cling to

Excuses will always be a negative justification

Time weathers itself, waiting to rebuild bridges

Lost to peculiar raging fires or whet fabrication

If for some, a Pyrrhic victory is victory enough

I’m left enduring my experiences … as treasures’

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Derailment

Life feels more like a wreck

As if the tracks were stolen

In midst of a dawnless hour

While the world was asleep

My core behavior catapulted

Into weeds and thorny bushes

My thoughts and dreams live

Recalls are weaponized haunts

Every effort is punitive in itself

I can’t inhale without bleeding

Tragedy replaces a soul’s shadow

Treaded prints hold bloody drops

I became everything but normal

Sudden stops are… so unexpected

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Cavity

Sometimes it feels like I’m falling

Sometimes I just don’t feel anything

Sometimes sleep seems to evade me

Sometimes I linger in seared memories

Sometimes life passes me by unnoticed

Or I’ll wake up in the middle of some day

On brighter lit day,s I still feel its haze

That weighs me down from its presence

You were the only one to visit my heart

Leaving it filled with treasured moments

Not a day passes by that I don’t flinch

When cold reality notices you’re missing

And yet all of you remains present inside

In tiny crooks and crannies…where I hide

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Chronical

I create prolonged shadows daily

Without effort or thought invoked

The shadows waivers me nothing

As their absent voice stills chills

Chase remembrances up my spine

As I relive a vivid life in my mind

Like some strange addict, I’m beset

To old feelings and moments alike

I face fear and flight concurrently

As I’m unable to choose or to move

I’m like an odd, electrified conduit

To prostitute myself unconsciously

As their living testament recording

Unable to erase the reality…inside

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Crevasses

Most scars heal- somewhat

Some remain inherently raw

Their cause never disappears

Some days we tread currents

Attempting to outswim them

Some days we drown in depths

Churning under our life’s surface

A darkness that never vacates

Trauma becomes our undertow

Drawing us rearward into itself

Forcing us to fight an unseeable

Or abandon pieces of ourselves

As we attempt to reclaim a life

Even if life means… subsistence

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Indistinct

I’ve become a trace of what I lost

Who was part trace of my former self

I linger on the longer shadow of time

Traversing within faintness of this life

I’ve slipped from time’s steady hands

Into an inconstant, like state of abyss

I bid to cling but can’t grasp intangible

And air tends to lack any finite texture

I’m often transferred by a slight breeze

Like a rogue ripple on life’s calm surface

Sun glints, but I feel no sense of warmth

Dullness became my changed core nature

And lost serves for my sense of direction

After being powerless against…injustice

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Unenthusiastically

I persist to accept less as normal

It’s not anywhere near that former

As fragments don’t depict wholeness

Yet, pieces seem better than nothing

Vitality is oft strained by the freight

I accepted as part of the package deal

Some days seem a bit more cumbersome

If middays are fractured by tediousness

Faith and memories help fill in the gaps

Day by day to heal an absence somewhat

Oddity is feeling closer to the darkness

Than the lighted pathway I underwent

And some nights never seem to terminate

Until a silent dawn had slowly…crept in

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Components

A shadowy freight inhabits life

Enough to degrees of distortion

Much like some noticeable prism

As passing days feel more tawdry

Nights are my indisposed visitors

Dawn breaks into a crass fashion

Dreams were eclipsed or illusions

Life is no longer semblance- of life

Changes tend to happen regardless

I feel out of place from their absence

Wandering on a slow-moving river

No preset course void of any rudder

At mercy outside my understanding

But I go with its flow…reluctantly

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Humanistic

It is utterly confusing at times

When both logic and emotions

Seems so fashionable as the same

Like unfamiliar but identical twins

As independent natures still rein

We feel we act in rationalized ways

Only to discover that our emotions

Mislead or misinterpreted some truth

Because it felt much more convenient

Until that truth outed our hypocrisy

And fresh blushing felt uncomfortable

Cherry picking at life’s exotic banquet

Instead of appreciating all the options

Or an invitation to add…to its affluence

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Lifemares

It feels like insomnia but- not

Oversleeping the lost moments

Regret might come to my mind

If it stabilized enough to work

Some days just become weeks

Some moments feel incomplete

Trade-offs are the new currency

After becoming a broken pauper

I perceive no direction feels right

Even if I’ve repeatedly turned left

If I had wings, they’d be broken

I felt the thud void of its sound

Or I just missed it passing by

Beset into my marish rest…life

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