Ramblings of a now 60+ Female

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By Jason Michael

People like the former political editor of The Guardian, Michael White – the guy who claimed independence was about ethnic cleansing, want us to start using their words to describe our actions. Here’s what that really means.

There are about as many supporters in the Irish Republic for the idea of an Irish exit from the European Union as there are advocates for Ireland’s return to British rule – precisely none, and yet not so very long ago the BBC in London was making a big deal over “Irexit.” Britain’s strategy with regard to Ireland – a perpetual thorn in its side – in the Brexit process has oscillated between thinly veiled threats masquerading as a wooing and outright anti-Irish racist vitriol. At some stage in Whitehall’s developing game plan someone came up with the Trojan horse idea of Irexit, essentially a fake news item…

It’s here. The British government have finally come up with a solution to all the many problems facing this country. After much work, complex and taxing negotiations, and intensive effort, they have the answer to all the technical and political issues that bedevil Brexit. They have come up with the resolution to the poverty and growing chasm between the rich getting ever richer and the rest of us. They know how to deal with social injustice and inequality. They’re having another royal wedding.

Oh God. Kill me. Kill me now. I don’t know if I can cope with another six months of royal wedding preparations and Nicolas Witchellgasms on what passes for the news. It was bad enough with Willnkate. Now Meghanarry has already started, and it’s going to go on, and on, and interminably on for the next twelve months. North Korean state news is more critical about Kim…

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By Jason Michael

Having a talk show on a Russian television channel has become an act of treason. It was never treason until Alex Salmond did it though – telling us that the real act of treason is daring to give Scotland a voice.

Well wasn’t that something?! Regardless of the unionists and their wee media storm and the friendly advice from the Prime Minister in London, Alex Salmond went ahead with the launch of his show and interviewed – of all people – Carles Puigdemont. Now the cat is very much among the pigeons. As Stuart Campbell at Wings Over Scotland pointed out on Twitter, this was the longest Puigdemont has been interviewed uninterrupted – and in English. It certainly seems Scotland’s former First Minister; the man who brought the United Kingdom to the brink of non-existence, is doing the job the British media has been failing…

The past week has been a bit confusing. Isn’t it independence supporters who are supposed to be the nasty ones? That’s what the British press and political class keeps on telling us so surely it must be true. I’m a case in point. I’m certainly no saint. I can be exceedingly rude, especially about Wullie Rennie, and let’s be fair, in the cosmic scheme of things he’s relatively harmless. He’s not wreaked a fraction of the damage on this country that Boris Johnson has.

There are however limits to the nastiness. I specialise in rudeness, in cutting remarks, and invective, but I never ever drag the families and life partners of the targets of my ire into the proceedings. I can be extremely sweary, but never use words that are demeaning to women like the c-word. My stock in trade is hyperbole, but I’d never dream of accusing an opponent…

So there you are, thinking that there can’t possibly be anything to top Alex Salmond presenting a chat show on Russian telly, and then along comes Kezia Dugdale going – Haud ma drink. Kezia has decided that she misses Scottish Labour’s diet of repellant, unpleasant and suspicious things that reek to high heaven, so she’s going to go on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Still, at least it distracts attention from the car crash that is the party’s leadership. It doesn’t even have an interim leader, just an interim interim leader, although to be fair even once the results of the leadership election is announced on Saturday it will still only have an interim leader, because that’s the only kind of leader that Labour in Scotland has ever got. There are small insects without mouth parts with a longer life expectancy than a leader of the Labour…