Much wondrous awesomeness that does not appear to me even in my dreams
Comes to me in the form of kismet
Some awful foreboding unseen by me even in my worst nightmares
Comes to me in the form of my karma
The daytime, a reality experience unlike the night
Where ghastly grey nimbus collides with a polychromatic kaleidoscope
Kalesh (dissension) between exuberance and dread
A vigraha (conflict) of disruptive emotions
A tumultous melee, a maelstrom which I am struggling to live through
My tears I can taste.
They taste of sadness.
Of overbearing loss.
Of intense disappointment. Hurt.
They taste of happiness. Gratitude.
Of being connected with the One.
Salty. Sweet. Bitter.
They taste of aloneness.
Fear. Shame. Impotency. Despondency. Rage.
They taste of unbounded joy.
And a sense of achievement.
Arrival.
And departure.
Sometimes, they erupt.
Spouting spontaneously and trickling south.
Sometimes shy,
moistness lying hesitantly quivering
within my lids.
They carry forth hitherto contained emotion.
Unbound constraints.
A passage from the heart
to the world of light.
Damp drops of unformed words.
You.
Dark of form,
with ash-smeared body,
gnarnled, matted hair,
rudrakhsha and tiger skin.
You.
Who resides in the snow-clad abodes
of Kailasa, the five Kedars,
Mani Mahesh and Shrikhand Mahadev.
In Benares and Ujjain and Nasik.
And in the hearts of a countless.
You.
who are AshtaMurti, Chaumukha, Triambaka,
Sadashiv, Omkara, Rudra, Arunachalam,
Natraja, Pasupati and Ardhanarishvara.
Shankara, Shambhu and AdiYogi.
Bholenath and Kalabhairava.
You.
Who are without beginning and without end.
From whom the holy Ganga emanates.
On whose head rests the crescent.
The father of time.
You.
Who is merged into utter and absolute stillness.
Who exists in the emptiness beyond all that is.
Who is unbounded and all pervasive.
Whom tonight celebrates.
A night of intoxication and rapture.
Of fixity, enlightenment and dissolution.
You.
I humbly dedicate this to you.
Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu
May All Beings Everywhere Be Happy and Free
Sarvesham Svastir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Shantir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Poornam-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Mangalam-Bhavatu
Om Shanti Shanti Shantih
May there be an abundance of well-being in all,
May there be an abundance of peace in all,
May there be an abundance of fulfilment in all,
May there be an abundance of auspiciousness in all,
Peace! Peace! Peace!
Om Asato Ma Sad Gamaya
Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya
Mrityor Ma Amritam Gamaya
Lord lead me from the unreal to the real
Lead me from darkness to the light
From the earth to the open skies
Lead me from death to eternal light
I hold you in my gaze
Warm, the cockles of my heart
The beats, a now recognisable constant
Dull noir pulsates to hyper-saturated chromas
In breaths and out
Stream of consciousness triggering synapses
Agitated ‘Nowhere-ness’ to limpid ‘now-here-ness’
A discordant indigo mind turns into a more placid azure
Eyes well up
I blink away a tiny tear
As the heart drinks deep
I am back
Ups and downs
Twists and turns
Zigs and zags
A long walk
Stairs to climb
Bridges to cross
A thirst to quench
To reach that destination
A rushing rapid
A calming stream
Converging at a confluence
How befitting
An apt personification of life itself
Title inspired by Wu’hsin, the Chinese philosopher Continue reading →
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