In the last few weeks we’ve lost an outspoken conservative man who was willing to have conversations with young people on all sides of the aisle. Say what you will about Charlie Kirk, but he did not live in a bubble. He exposed himself to all different ideas. And sure, he viewed them through his faith, but he was willing to talk anyone, and respectfully so, about any topic.

Most of us create a bubble that only reinforces our strongly held beliefs, rarely stepping out of them until something like the assassination of Charlie Kirk, or more recently the suspension of Jimmy Kimmel on ABC – for of all things, saying pretty disgusting things about Kirk’s assassination while at the same time dissing President Trump for his reaction to the news. Which admittedly was not great, but we all react poorly to the news of someone passing away so young and unexpectedly.

I haven’t been canceled per se, but I have experienced a pile on or two and have lost a lot of followers for my more conservative beliefs. I was unfriended by a guy who spend the pandemic mocking those who refused the vaccine and then died of the virus. He’d post photos of these people and mock and ridicule them. It was one of the most disgusting things I have seen in my life and I am sorry I didn’t unfriendly him first. He unfriended me because I didn’t think January 6th was the end of our democracy.

Oh look, we’re still a democracy.

I was also unfriended for not repeating the phrase “transwomen are women.” It wasn’t just that I wouldn’t repeat it, I didn’t believe it and said as much.

How transphobic of me.

Anyway, I’ve lost a lot of ‘friends’ on Facebook due to my very moderate beliefs so early 2022 I moved over Twitter, not too long before Elon Musk purchased the platform.

Twitter is a different beast from Facebook because for the most part you don’t go into it knowing anyone. At first it feels like you’re just shouting into the void, which is why I never hung out at Twitter when I first signed up in 2008. I hadn’t cultivated the algorithm yet.

We can either see good stuff or bad stuff. Just like in life what you interact with is what you will see more of. As the old saying goes – Like attracts like. So if you’re only interacting with negative content, you’re going to see the world in a negative light and eventually you’ll start reflecting that negativity. We see this all the time in the more toxic spaces online. Twitter can be an awful place, but that’s because you have interacted with the awful stuff.

So, it’s important to be cognizant of what you are interacting with.

I don’t watch Jimmy Kimmel. I don’t watch any of the main stream media late night talk shows, and haven’t since a couple of years after Jimmy Fallon took over The Tonight Show. In part because I do more streaming now than broadcast television but also because when Trump came down the escalator that first time something changed.

The shows that were supposed to be about entertain the masses, got really nasty. Suddenly it was a race to see who could say the most shocking things about Trump and then they went after his voters.

I don’t want to spend my television capital on a show hosted and written by people who do not like me. I don’t want to spend an hour of my day being insulted. I’m certain half the population of our country feels the same way and the plummeting ratings support that hypothesis.

I spent more time online watching stuff that aligned with my belief system – which currently is duck, squirrel and emu videos. I want to be entertained, I want to feel good about the content I consume.

But I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in the negativity. The algorithm on all platforms is designed to keep you scrolling. That’s all it’s supposed to do. So if you keep interacting with content that enrages you you’re going to see more of that kind of content. It’s that simple.

As humans we are impulsive and tribal so rage bait works really well, and now look at us – we’re more divided than ever before.

We all have a responsibility to cultivate our algorithm so we interact with – and create – the world we want to live in. I don’t want to live in world where people are calling other people horrible names. I don’t want to live in a world where people are rude, or mean or negative, and yet I often end up interacting with that very content, and creating much of it myself.

Of course negative is subjective. It’s one thing to report the news, even if the news is negative that does not make the content negative in and of itself. Trouble is, I’m not a reporter so why I’m sharing and spreading negativity is something I struggle with daily.

Currently the big outrage aside from the return of Jimmy Kimmel is that Trump announced that acetaminophen is not safe during pregnancy and says it contributes to the rise in autism.

I don’t know if that’s true, but I have seen compelling reports that lend credence to the statement. Even the brand Tylenol has gone on the record saying they don’t recommend pregnant women take their products. Of course this is confusing to me, because when I was pregnant my doctor said it was safe to take – sparingly of course.

Yesterday the TikTok trend was for pregnant women to film themselves taking Tylenol. Today there’s a report of a woman at 23 weeks gestation hospitalized for acetaminophen poisoning, she is not expected to make it. This being the internet, I don’t know if the story is true, and I am skeptical, but it’s very easy to take too much Tylenol.

It’s time to step back from our screens and really think about what we want to interact with. Being so hateful of a president that you’d risk your own life and that of your unborn child should be the wake up call we all need. I hope it doesn’t go unheeded.