Accidental it was
Never planned for it
Entered my life
Without me knowing about it
Sovereign it became
Swaying me
Ruling my every whim
No accountability
Withholding all credibility
I was left in chaos
By this wonderful ecstasy
Even though it was my ruin
I still let it own me
The most beautiful danger
Loomed on me
The love I hold for him
Became the death of me.

By Rensaisei

The heart and its wishes
Unreasonable and stupid
Still making sense
To all our existence
Like it all what we need

Wanting to get a hold of them
The longings and the desires
To be quenched over and over
Until you are fulfilled
Which seems to be never
As we fall deeper in the
Ocean of these feelings
Never can they be vanquished
Rather become a part of our being
More often the entirety of our being.

The wanderlust never dies
From exploring ever nook every cranny
From their body to their soul
The journey just gets longer
And longer, with all new surprises
That await in our way.

In the hopes of finally
Becoming one with love
We keep on ameliorating
Our inner self
Never changing the weirdness
But still becoming better
The kind that make you
Attain all that you thought
You never could.

Or the kind that takes you
On a spiral of netherworld
Making you loose everything
In a heartbeat, no mercy at all.

The heart and its wishes
Unreasonable and stupid
Takes us on journeys
More often than not leading
Through a path of
Darker and secluded roads
Changing us and leading
To a brighter not but better side
Better not but a different side
A different not but a mature side!

By Rensaisei

Dubious life
With its twists and turns
Making it worse
Our uncanny mind

Playing games of make-believe
Leading us ashtray
With the zillions puzzling thoughts

Deceiving us
Manipulating us
Backstabbing us
Right when we finish the path

Changing and growing
In this turmoil
We fail to recognise
Our needs and wants
Or ourselves moments apart

Working hard
To bridge these gaps
We continue our struggle
Hidden from all

Self-loathing
Whining
Wavering energies
Breaking us apart

Still we keep going on
In the hopes to prevail over it all
Such is the fight
On our daily roll calls
Hidden from all
Under the curtains
Of that smile we wear
An armour or a mask
Its hard to figure out now!!

By Rensaisei

Hopes were sown
Carefully catered and protected
The seasons passed by
Yet not a sprinkle
Despondent I had become

The stores were running out
Prices paid were heavy
Took a toll on the souls
The very existence of them endangered
Some were martyred, some murdered

In such turmoils
Was the state of my mind
Lost in a maze
Covered with dew
No exits, no clues

Each day darker
Some days shone with light
Soon swallowed by dark clouds
A scary cycle it turned out to be
Like caught in the eye of the storm

Arrhythmic heartbeats
Sleepless nights
Difficulties in breathing
A block had laid on my chest
Heavier each day
Leaving me in disarray

Between these bouts of
Anxiousness and depression
There came some days like autumn
The season of harvest
Some call it….for me it was
A few days to replenish the fight

Finding some small seedlings
In the midst of these catastrophes
At my mind’s behest
I realise the benevolence of nature

Hope had taken roots
And were showering its fruit
A small gratuity for the dreams
Shattering as the eyes open
Only thing I forgot was
Fruits fall away from the tree
To those who come under it
To take shelter and protection

With no reciprocal
With no return
This one way transaction
Was reaping its own fruits
The scars were grave
Newer ones in processing

But who could stop the nature
Seeds sown had to germinate
And complete their life cycle
Thats the destiny of nature
To give and be burnt in return!!

By Rensaisei

The interlude between
Knowing him and falling for him
Was a quite space
Filled with unheard emotions
Paranormal almost
Catching you unaware
No warnings at all
Passing through all the walls
Staging itself in the centre of your being

As a storm raises inside the heart
The mind becomes a mess
Amid the war between the heart and the soul
All I could spout is codswallop
Loosing my footing
Making a fool of myself
Finding my way back
And yet falling more
The sudden increase in heartbeats
Just by sharing same space as him
The joy and desires it brings
Along with the heartaches
Love springs up on us
With nowhere to run
Resist it or fight it
In the end it still wins

Whoever said falling in love is easy
Forgot to tell about all that follows
Forgot to tell you never choose
Your soul just chooses the connection
And your heart starts beating anew
With beats that become the music of your life!!

By Rensaisei

Fighting every day
Losing all the charms
Staying together chaotic
Obligation it was becoming
Rather than wants
Apologies common
Feelings were gone
Or buried under
The everyday chore
Of being normal
Of being responsible
Of being understanding
Of being sane
Hiding away all
Insecurities and insane
Deeming it destructive
They realised
Under a full moon
No other stars to shine
Their wilderness released
Like an instinct
To save the dying
Love and individual
Both alike
Under the antre of made self
Did they finally find themselves
And where their heart reside
Fighting continued
Charm increased
Staying together meaningful
With a new ramble
Together in life.

By Rensaisei