Who’s Fair

This very notion of Fairness
Is perverted by those who seek
To Falsely uphold it
In the name of rank and office;

Fairness is not
To treat everyone the same
But to know that
It never is the same for all;

Does Fairness in this perverse way
Not sound like Communism?
Same share for everyone
Regardless of work or merit;

I guess Fairness without Flexibility
Is very much like Communism:
Not very attractive and
Bound to fail.

Excerpts [Part 1]

This post is made up of sentences and excerpts from a blog that I know pretty well;  thought it’d be a good idea to share some of the decent lines here. I’m probably splitting it up into a few parts because there are too many of them.

“A commonly visited leisure spot once upon a time has turned into a deserted playground of broken swings.”

“I’ll wait, til the day is mine.”

“There are days when you feel punched out, and today’s one of them.”

“It’s not a monologue.. it’s just a dialogue without response.”

“Behind every cynical person is a sad story unbeknownst to others.”

“Crack lines; try as you might to fix them, they’ll always be there somewhere.”

“The moment before I fall asleep is the happiest moment of the day; it is as though dreams have merged with reality. I feel alive and awake, but live a dream and a fantasy.”

“Accept and like a person not for what he is, but for who he is.”

“It’s like… after a person has made a wrong choice, you should let him choose again so that he is more clear about what he wants and will this time, make the right decision and appreciate the right decision so much more and never allow himself to decide or choose wrongly again.”

“There’s a reason why you should run after the bus, and not be lazy and convince yourself you won’t be able to catch it.”

“50% here and 50% there will not get you 100% anywhere.”

“… My fantasy is your reality.”

 

 

My Word (Against Theirs)

My word against theirs:

Words of sincerity and talks of friendship
Schemes of defamation and speech of untruth

You took the latter and tainted the former
As though splashing dirt onto a clean sheet;

My word against theirs:

You should have chosen your friends carefully
But its really too late for remorse now

You took the latter and smeared the former
As though the friendship meant nothing at all;

My word against theirs:
You should never have chosen the other.

The Irony Behind Advice

Advice can come in all forms of shapes and sizes, and from anyone at anytime. It can come from your mum when needed most (“Just follow your heart sweetheart, everything is going to be okay”), or it can come unwelcomed from a rival (“Why don’t you learn how to dress for success even a little like me?”) 

Given the assumed constructive nature of an advice, most are friendly and designed to improve a situation or an individual, be it in influencing a decision or how to do things better. Friends advice each other all the time when things look a little dry for the other, and the Internet is full of people writing advisory articles in forum pages and websites. 

The irony however, is this: we often tend to take the advice given by strangers or random sources more seriously than those given to us by our families and close friends. This is a weird phenomena, but it’s true for a large part of us. Take for example when we’re young: When our mums tell us to eat our vegetables, we tend to shrug it off but when we read up on the advices online on the importance of vegetables to our diet, or when we see our friends or crush enjoying their greens and egging us to eat them, we start to appreciate and consume them. 

How different is it from when your mum nicely tells you to eat your veggies at dinner time? Not much really, the vegetables still taste about the same. 

There’s something strange about this really, that we choose to ignore or neglect the advice of those who know us best, and those who want the best for us. Perhaps it is taking for granted the goodwill that our loved ones have for us, or maybe we seek to learn only from experiencing it for ourselves. The hard way, if you ask me. 

It would probably be good if we learn to take advice for us more seriously, and give them a thought before throwing them away into the mental garbage bin at the back of our heads. We should of course have a mind and an opinion of our own, but we could always use for a different (perhaps previously hidden) perspective in a situation. We may think we know better, but sometimes.. we really don’t. 

(P.S another irony of advice is that we often give them to people like they are free, but use them ourselves as though it’d cost us a new car or apartment, but thats to be saved for another day. Haha.)

Ups and Downs 

When we think of ups and downs, we think of roller coasters and.. Life. The periodic ups and downs is probably one of the constants of life and it is true that what goes up must come down, and vice versa. We will all have smooth rides and rough patches, albeit at varying lengths for different people throughout their lifetimes. These highs and lows can occur at any aspect of life, be it in areas of financial, emotional, psychological or otherwise. 

To a lesser extent, I think these peaks and rock bottoms occur on a daily basis as well, where our emotions can fluctuate in great degrees (whether due to a conscious reason or not). We can be happy in the morning, uptight in the afternoon, and probably end the day on a high at night. With this came the theory and study of a base level of happiness for individuals, where one with a higher base level experience more satisfaction and joy in life without external stimulus or reason. It is something inherited and at genetic level, and hardly within control. It is like our default mood, where some can be perpetually positive while others sulk all the time. 

What I’m trying to drive across today really is that we need to tide through the lows and seek to bounce back to the highs. We inevitably get sad or discontented, but it is important that we do damage management and let allow our emotional state and state of mind to affect our decisions or harm our relationships with others. It is crucial that we take a step back when things are tough and not buckle in the face of emotional challenges. 

Find your friends, seek your happiness pill (i don’t mean drugs; I mean the person or thing that lift your spirits), do the things that make you happy, go exercise, listen to your favourite Beatles or Queen song, have an ice cream.. Yank yourself out of the depressive state and things will look up sooner than you expect. Positivity attracts good things, and the reverse is true for negativity. 

Remember, chin up when things get tough.. It’s not that you’ll drown a little slower, it’s that you’ll be out of the water soon enough if you can survive the initial onslaught. 

Have a good evening everyone!

The Art (and Science) of Decision Making 

I picked up a couple of books on philosophy and psychology awhile back from the local library and I came across a chapter on decision making. While we do know vaguely how decisions are made (or at least, how we make them), I don’t think the majority of us would delve into the technicalities of how we reach certain choices or how we make up our minds. I didn’t manage to read a single sentence from that chapter the night I chanced upon it; just the chapter heading (“How We Make Our Decisions”) itself got me thinking already.

When faced with two or more options, we are likely forced to, or would instinctively, make a choice or decision between the various options. Whether it be between a pair of Adidas and Nike sports shoes, or choosing between different political viewpoints, or even between two tomatoes to pick up at the supermarket.. We all have to make decisions every single day. (Just staying alive is a decision in itself.) It is possibly the most important thing we do everyday, and we sure do a lot of it.

There are many levels in this seemingly simple process. The first level that we consciously or subconsciously make our decisions on is called instinct, or better known as intuition. Something inside us tells us that A makes more sense than B, and choosing A is definitely a better idea than B. It is something that operates on a subconscious level and it makes the decision something that is not deliberated by a conscious thought process. This level is usually the determinant in urgent situations where the decision to act (just to act, or act in a certain way) is made within a spilt second that offers little time for thought, such as whether to dive and push someone out of danger, or whether to pull the trigger or not. 

In less pressing situations with more space and time to think, our rational minds become a larger factor in the decision-making process. We tend to consider various external factors such as the circumstances surrounding the decision, as well as the possible short and long term repurcussions that could result from making the choice. Depending on your personality, you may either consider first the short or long run. Spontaneous and outgoing personalities tend to consider the short run as more crucial, while individuals who prefer planning and are generally more systematic and meticulous (and likely more reserved) would see the long term as more important. 

It’s something like voting for Party A because they dangle a carrot of cash incentives and rebates (short run) over Party B which offers long term solutions to possible problems (long run) which could occur in the future (maybe like providing an alternate voice in government), and vice versa depending which you consider more important. This example shows it the short and long runs form the bedrock of whether you choose instant gratification, or delayed gratification. Of course, this is very general because most of the time the short run interest and long run interest coincide, where the short run benefit over time leads to the long run (economically, we live in the short run and I quote, ‘in the long run we are all dead’ (Keynes)). Economic theory aside, deciding and planning for the future is still inevitably important.

That being said, there are definitely many other factors that contribute to the process of decision making. Our emotions make up a huge chunk of this process, as how an angry person loses most of his rationality while a sad person tends to make a random decision given his emotional state. The process is also influenced by the words of others, whether it be by friendly advice or political directives or so many other possibilities. Circumstances certainly play a critical role as well.

As we have discussed, there are so many factors that affect our decisions (whether directly or indirectly) that we have to know which factor is most important to that decision. Now that we know a few of these factors, we can thus consider if one of these factors (say, emotions) is overbearing on our ability to make a sound decision. We thus have to balance all these factors out before we put our finger and mind on one of the various options facing us. 

Now that we have done some thinking, I think it is time for me to start reading the chapter on Decisions. I guess we pretty much have control over how we decide and what choices we make.. Unless we believe in predestination and fate, which would effectively remove us of our free will and our ability to choose. That however, is a story for another day. 

Til next time, have fun with making decisions!

Crossroads

Sometimes we are led to crossroads
With a left and a right down each side:
Paths which lead on to the unknown
Where the destinations are purposefully out of sight;

We cannot know where each will take us to and
We cannot tell how the journeys would be but
One thing we can be sure of is that
We can only head down one of the two pathways;

How do we make up our minds at crossroads?
.
.
.

I have a feeling they lead eventually to the same end point.