Monthly Archives: May 2011

Separate Voices, My Personal Response

Posted on by rmott62

I find the Margaret A. Baldwin’s essay very important as a backbone to my work.

I believe that although there are many connections between all male violence to women and girls, and it is all about owning women and girls, and refusing them the right to be full humans, just sex objects to be destroyed.

Though that is the underlying basis to all male violence to women and girls – the prostituted must have a separate voice, and not be to hush up by being just part of a continuum.

That is the what that feminists do – whether consciously or without thinking carefully enough – make the prostituted not only into the “other”, but non-existent except to be a warning to non-prostituted women and girls.

That way feminists are abandoning the prostitute on the street, inside the brothel, in the violent sex club, inside porn. She is abandoned to remain in debates, on the academic page – but never a full woman or girl who may be too complex to be pigeon-hole.

By keeping the prostitute as the Other, feminists use the image of the prostitute as a warning of how bad male violence, but too often do next to nothing to listen and hear the voices of the prostituted.

But how can feminism work, if it blocks out the multiple voices of the prostituted. It will not work if the only voices it chooses to hear are made up of preconceived stereotypes of what the prostituted should be.

It is about listening and hearing the variety of exited women who have the strength to speak of the realities.

Do not dismiss voices that have as part of their survival and determination fight to end the sex trade their religious beliefs.

Do not imagine that all prostituted women and girls were abused before entering the sex trade – and make out they are not “authentic” if they do fit that stereotype. Know and believe that the sex trade is violence of itself, so any women and girl who has been in it long-term, even if she enter willingly, has usually endured extreme violence.

Do not dismiss exited women if they were not addicted to drugs or drinks – it does not mean they have less grief and pain.

Do not assume there is huge difference between trafficking and what may be considered to be entering the sex trade freely. Know that all women and girls who are embedded inside the sex trade are made into commodities –  so violence is common-place no matter how the individual prostitute enters.

In other words, each time you think you know the stereotype of the exploited woman or girl inside the sex trade – imagine a woman and girl who is the opposite of your often cliché view – and know she is exploited as well.

Listen and hear the multiple voices of exited women – and learn that they come from all backgrounds; women and girls who may of believe they were strong or full of self-hate; women and girls who come from poverty, as well as women and girls who had no love who may be middle- or upper-class; women and girls exploited from every ethnicity, the sex trade using their culture or traditions, and destroying by making it into living porn.

Please if you are serious about ending the sex trade – stop your world for long enough to listen and hear these voices, do not assume you already know what they may say.

I know I am learning every day from listening and hearing from exited women – I know in many ways I need to be humble that I just at the beginning of the true horrors and extent of the sex trade.

I love the way Margaret A. Baldwin points out that prostitution must be separated from other forms of male violence.

Yes, many women are raped and never get justice. But most non-prostituted are not likely to be raped more five or ten times in their lives. This is horrific – but it is not the same as what it is to be a full-time prostitute.

A prostitute if she is “lucky” is raped in the hundreds, but it is usually in the thousands.

A prostitute is raped until she has no language for rape – just the language that is her role, the language of forcing herself to believe it must be part of her nature.

All that is left for the prostitute is framed herself as bad, so deserving to be raped endlessly; or taking the language of the sex trade that is never rape – for she is empowered and manipulating the punters.

All the time non-prostituted women are battered by men who are their partners – all the time these men are murdering their partners. But it is not the same as prostitution.

Those men hate, but still see the individual woman. The prostitute is nothing when is battered, she can any whore, for the punters and profiteers all prostitutes are interchangeable.

The prostitute is in constant fear that any punter at any time will batter or murder her – knowing it will made of no importance for it made getting rid of the rubbish.

The prostitute has the constant fear that her manager/pimp will send her into sadistic violence or beat her up or any or no reason.

Violence is her norm, so she will adapt by not having feelings, acting hard and killing anything human left in her.

I know sexual harassment at work is a massive problem – but many workplaces will have places to report it, it may even be taken seriously.

Being inside the sex trade, there is no such thing as sexual harassment – that is the role of the prostitute.

I am driven mad how no-one listen and hear when exited women try to speak out that punters are just ordinary men who make the choice to buy another human. In making that choice, they own a sexual slave – so why is anyone shocked that the vast majority of punters are sadistic to the prostituted.

For many exited women, the shock is that some punters make the choice to be relatively nonviolent – most still get their money-worth, and fuck her.

Exited women have so much information and knowledge on male violence – but we are ignored or pushed away as damaged goods.

How can male violence ever be ended if the prostituted are silenced and made sub-humans?

We will always speak out against the sex trade – stop making it that we are shouting into the wind.

Separate Voices

Posted on by rmott62

This is a quote I have used before – but now it has even more meaning to me. It from “Not for Sale”, in the essay by Margaret A. Baldwin”, “Strategies of Connection: Prostitution and Feminist Politics”. This is a longer quote to give some context to my views.

“Feminist activists confront profound challenges in crafting feminist strategies against prostitution, and for prostituted women. Those challenges require putting into action the greatest and most demanding strengths of feminism: forging connections among women, confronting the political meaning of our silences, and refusing to abandon any woman by the side of the road. A feminist political approach to prostitution must begin from these strengths, and be tested against the standards set by them…

ON CONNECTION

In feminism, we are committed to promoting solidarity among all women. We do this based on the belief that our experiences as women are linked, and our destinies shared. Yet the divide between “prostitute” and “non-prostituted” is thought to describe something meaningful and real, no less in feminist advocacy than in society at large. We assume an antithesis, or at least a difference, between prostituted women and “other women”. We should know to be cautious about these kinds of assumptions. The history of women’s oppression is likewise a tale of fine distinctions made among us: who deserved it, who asked or it, who is made for it, and so on. The history of feminism is, in turn, the history of our resistance to those distinctions. So we need to ask carefully whether, and how, the division between “prostitutes” and “other women” has a place in feminist politics….

…. That men hurt, despise, and exploit women and girls in and by prostitution should be enough reason for solidarity with survivors. My question, through, is whether more is demanded o us in forging a connection between prostitution and other sexual abuse – and between prostitutes and other women – beyond an initial understanding that prostitution is abusive, too…. We have long examined how men’s treatment of women as “other” operates as a practice of domination. Likewise, we need to explore whether prostituted women are treated within feminism as “other” in this political sense, and if so, how those relationships can be transformed into genuine bonds of solidarity.

This is not to suggest that all women are the same, or experience the same kinds of victimisation as women. Certainly, not all women are prostituted, and that is a good thing. Not all women, that is, turn tricks for money, five times a day, thirty-five times a week, with two thousand men a year, while suffering at least the usual incidence of incest, rapes, beatings, and sexual harassment that other women do. The prostitution is on top of that. Many women have to endure only pieces of prostitution. Many women are subjected to unwanted sex from men who objectify us, but not typically from two thousand men a year. Many women suffer serial battery from husbands or lovers, but not typically also at the hands o hundreds of relative strangers. Many women receive money from a harassing boss in the form of a paycheck, but not typically in a context where harassment is the job. Each of these transactions shares something in common with prostitution, but none of them is prostitution. We might observe, too, that none of these transactions is exactly like the others, either. Rape is one thing, domestic violence another thing, sexual harassment another, prostitution another. All of them, nevertheless, involve some expression or manifestation of sexual ownership. Each of these practices, understood this way, is like a particular tactical weapon in the arsenal of male dominance – each can be deadly, even if differently deployed.

On this understanding, the political “otherness” of prostitution can be dispelled simply by “adding on” prostitution to our existing feminist reform agenda…. These groups organised brilliantly to extend battered women’s services to women in prostitution, challenging practices that excluded prostituted women and girls from shelters and from the vision of the anti-sexual violence movement…. The Coalition Against Trafficking in Women has advocated similar interventions at the international level. This work was not easy to accomplish, and needs the continued support of survivors and their allies to sustain and move forward.

…. For if the presumption of prostitutes’ consent is especially entrenched, every other feminist reform initiative against sexual violence has confronted similar victim-blaming obstacles. The litany is familiar: rape victims ask for it, battery victims provoke it, sexual harassment victims manipulatively sleep their way to the top….

…. Like other forms of sexual abuse, prostitution is often compelled by physical force or its threat, by physical and mental torture, and by kidnapping….

You can do this kind of work in solidarity with prostituted women, whether in law reform, through advocacy, or in providing important recovery services…. Find out whether women in prostitution are being provided services and whether staffs are trained to assist girls and women in prostitution, and insist that they contact a prostitution recovery agency for knowledge about how to do it…. Educate yourself and other women about how sexual harassment claims might be crafted on behalf of women in prostitution, in strip clubs, and other “live sex” operations. In any forum in which violence against women, women’s poverty, or the sexual exploitation of children is on the table, take initiative in addressing the victimisation of women and girls as a necessary focus of political action against those practices.

These “add-on” strategies, through, are not complete ones…. For underlying each of our principal strategies in rape law reform, in domestic battery and self-defence work, and in sexual harassment resistance, is an assertion crying out to be believed – we are not prostitutes….

ON SILENCES

The biggest silence maintained by the anti-prostitute design of our sexual violence work is the silence about johns. In reality, they are mostly white, married men with at least a little disposable income – real people, that is. Empirical research on johns is almost non-existent. Since johns are rarely arrested, their identities remain shielded from public disclosure, as well as from criminal sanction. Even johns themselves try to avoid the label. In prostitution transactions, johns frequently adopt a variety of sexual roles – as boyfriend, as lover, as father, sometimes as punitive avenger of the public good. By insisting on thes roles, a john avoids seeing himself as just a trick. On all o these fronts – academic, legal, and personal – who johns are, why they buy women, and their culpability for doing so, are evaded questions.

….

Prostituted women and girls themselves, who have the most insight and information on johns, have also been silenced. The prostitution itself takes its toll: in despair, depression, denial,drug abuse, isolation, torture, and murder. Many women do not survive. Women who do survive prostitution usually find recalling and retelling their experiences enormously painful and disturbing…. Criminal records, mental health treatment histories, and substance abuse issues compromise a prostituted woman’s credibility, assuming she ever gets to talk at all about the men who buy her…. The obvious beneficiaries of the suppression of prostituted women’s voices, again, are the johns who use them.

We need to begin to understand the stake that men have in not being named as johns, whether by themselves, by other men, or by prostitution survivors. Perhaps non-prostitutes, especially white, middle-class, married women, have some stake in this separation, too. It is uncomfortable to think your nice husband or retired dad as a guy who buys women and girls for sex. Maybe this is the reason, however unconscious, for non-prostituted women, especially white, middle-class, married women, to keep separating themselves from prostitutes and their own abuse from prostitution. In any case, there is an obvious historical continuity available for understanding these arrangements, permitting mostly white men to buy “bad” women for sex, while their wives and daughters avert their eyes in complicity and shame….

…. This connection not only concedes that prostituted women are hurt; it also affirms that the voice and participation of prostituted women are necessary to understand the conditions of all women’s lives.

…. Whether a woman is on the street, turning tricks, or at whatever place she call “home”, sexual exploitation and abuse is a given. I think this is true in most women’s lives, at different intensities. One man is not the same as two thousand…. Prostituted women face all of these men every day, dad after day, undefended and alone.

THE ROAD

…. She [Aileen Wuornos] said she killed these men in self-defence; seven of the probably 4000 men who brought over that time. With maybe one exception, each of these johns was a “nice” white married guy – one a child abuse investigator, another a former missionary. She stood alone at the side of the road – literally, for twenty years. It is time for us to join her.”

 

Words Will Hurt You

Posted on by rmott62

I have been looking at some stuff about different Slutwalks – and over and over they state the meaning of their campaign is that no-one should be raped whether they have “sex for pleasure or for work”.

That hurts that is the major reason, a great many exited prostituted women do not want to be associated with Slutwalks. Most are so hurt and angered by calling it “work” yet again, that they have fallen back into silence.

I feel sick close to death of the concept that being in the sex trade can be classed as work – yes, I am saying that over and over and over – but until all women and men that claimed to fight against sexual violence stop calling it “sex work”, I cannot rest.

It is not work – it is exploitation, it is sexual slavery, it is violations of basic human right, it should be classed as torture.

Of course with all forms of exploitation, especially exploitation that has been made normal – the prostituted class have found ways to adapt to a world with little hope of exiting.

It is normal and life-saving for most of the prostituted to adapt to their role, and paint the veneer of being content.

But that does not make it work – that is called surviving by any means at hand.

The prostitute learns to smile as she is continually raped. The prostitute learns to speak the language of empowerment, for that turns on the punters to pretend they are the victim – and a turn-on punter get more profit for the sex trade.

I thought with naive belief that Slutwalks was about confronting the male right to rape. How silly of me, it more about saying don’t raped the non-prostituted – but for the prostituted, if you framed it as work, then it bloody hard to name that rape.

It only becomes rape if the prostitute names it as rape – it only rape if outsider decide it not just the prostitute’s role really.

But think carefully about how can the individual prostitute named it as rape.

Most humans in situation of torture that appears to have no end will make it what it is not. Humans adapt to hell by not knowing it.

Soldiers on the Western Front would speak of daily life ignoring mud, rats, bombs, mutilated bodies and that they were very likely to die.

Most inside concentration camps adapted by closing down, and only living minute by minute, surviving by not allowing themselves to care any more – not wanting to know survival was never in their hands.

But the prostituted who live with rapes in the thousands of rapes, are made into holes to torture and humiliate, are living with the background noise of prostitutes disappearing and knowing that if murdered no-one will care.

The prostituted are meant to have chosen that lifestyle, and just see it as a nasty job – but heck, someone got to do.

Funny how that “someone” is hardly ever the person who speaking of how prostitution is just a job really – funny, that so many who tell the prostituted is just sex work, would not want to be in a room with queues of punters wanting to fuck them.

Instead, they make a soft-core fantasy of what sex work is.

In this fantasy, the punters are respectful, and communicate clearly what can and won’t be done. These gentlemen would never hurt the prostitute, unless of course it was pre-planned.

In this fantasy, it mainly straight-forward sex, no sadistic stuff, no punter forgetting that the prostitute is a human.

Oh but it does go wrong – in this fantasy, the managers will have safety precautions for the prostitute and banned the violent punter.

This fantasy is a sick joke for the vast majority of the prostituted.

We know punters buy us to owned us completely, and in the reality if he decides to be a sadist pig, the individual prostitute and the prostitutes as a class can nothing but hope that they survive.

Prostitutes is all about the profit, all about keeping punters happy so they come back many times – it not about the welfare of the goods.

It utterly naive to believe that the sex trade will ever place the safety of the prostituted anywhere on their radar – safety precautions are only there to paint the veneer of being a caring “employer” – whilst making huge profits through destroying the prostituted human rights.

So I and a great many exited prostituted women cannot support Slutwalks – for we know it was not work we did, but torture, stealing of our human rights and sexual slavery.

We were not allowed to framed our rapes as rapes – just as our role, something we had chosen. So we cannot report a rape – if we have lost the language of rape.

Give us the language of torture or class it as rape as war – and then we may slowly find the words to report our destruction.

Until Slutwalks stops framing it as work – we want nothing to do with Slutwalks.

Double Speak

Posted on by rmott62

I am very sick of the lies and propaganda spread by the those who make the choice to say that prostitution is just sex work. Their double speak is making so ill, I am getting close to the point of wanting to die.

Their language is the language of the privileged, the language of those who make a profit from the prostituted, the language of those who may do a wee bit of paid sex but just for kicks, the language of distanced academic, and most common the language of punters and pimps.

It is never the language of the daily endurance of the prostituted, never the language of the prostitute who has hate and violence written on her body.

Her voice is made unhearable – it is more than silenced – it is made non-existent.

It is not the language of exited prostituted women who knows and remember that what appears to be a personal violence against them was never personal. How could it be, when every prostitute is just goods to fuck into nothingness.

There is nothing personal about violence done to the prostituted – it just having access to holes, hands and someone to boost the punter’s ego. It not personal the violence that poison the future lives of exited women – but if you call that sex work, it is just a business exchange.

But the biggest double speech that is promoted by claiming prostitution is just sex work – is the push to get all prostitution put indoors, and then by magic, it will be safer and the punters will be gentlemen.

Heck in the sex work language, punters are never called nasty words that are the hearts of most prostituted women – such as johns, scums, bastards, saddoes, or just thinking hate as they paint a happy face.

No the sex work double speak named punters as clients, like that makes it all neat and tidy as these punters make the choice to owned and control the prostitute. A client doesn’t rape, he just pays for some pre-arrange porn fantasy to get perform by the whore. A client doesn’t beat a prostitute up, he is just playing a sadist game. And if a client accidentally kills the prostitute – it more than likely her fault or she doesn’t understand his rules.

In other words for sex work advocates, most violence done to the prostitute is just bad luck or the fault of the prostitute. It is not that the punter by having the right to own another human to fulfill whatever sick porn fantasy he has – does not give a shit what damage he does to the prostitute. Why should he, when she has be made non-human and just something he can fuck close to death.

And why should the profiteers give a damn about the mental, physical and sexual welfare of the prostituted, when the biggest profit is always made by providing sadistic sex. If the prostitute is killed, or is lucky enough to leave – that’s no problem to the sex trade profiteers, coz there are millions of other vulnerable and often naive women and girls who can be molded into being long-term prostitutes.

It is a genocide of the prostituted made invisible by replacing the goods.

That is made invisible by sex work advocates – who are more than happy to promote a jolly face of the sex trade.

The concept that prostitution can be made safer if pushed indoors make no sense on any level.

Where are non-prostituted women safer indoors – doesn’t most child abuse go on inside a home, isn’t most women battered indoors, ain’t most raped inside a building – if that is the reality for non-prostituted, in what universe would the prostituted be safer indoors?

I have been told it must be safer for it is some kind of one-to-one negotiation between the punter and the prostitute, it is a clear-headed business exchange.

I say even if that is true – which for most prostituted women and girls there is little or no communication, just straight down to using her as his personal porn-toy. Even if it is true, it takes nothing away from the punter has full control, and the prostituted is just goods.

In reality, all words of a punter mean nothing if he decide he has the right to be sadist or to rape the prostitute – and he can do that with the full knowledge that is not a crime, and his mess will be cleared away.

Indoors prostitution is all about closing away the public gaze from the ordinary violence and hate that is the sex trade – what is not seen or heard, can become a non-event.

Indoors prostitution give the profiteers/managers/pimps stronger control over the prostituted. It is much easier to manipulate the prostituted, and to give her a dream of empowerment and small degrees of freedom in indoors prostitution – whilst always knowing the prostituted will have no rights to real safety and dignity.

But sex work advocates buy that it is can made safer, at least safe enough to patch up the prostituted and then send then back into danger again. This is named as harm reduction, doing everything to keep the prostituted in enough working order to look good for the punter, and hopefully will smile as well.

Kind of remind me of army hospitals in the First World War, where soldiers were patch up enough to be sent back to almost certain death or mental/ physical mutilation – sent back regardless of the mental damage they were carrying.

That is harm reduction, is just all about keeping a constant flow of prostituted for the punters and increasing the profit.

The main thing about the sex work advocates is that  theyspend most of their energy trying to distract from the elephant in the room – that the only reason there is prostitution is because of the mainly male demand to make other humans into sub-humans for their sexual wants and greed.

Tear away that demand – make punters afraid to even think of buying another human for their selfish wants, make a society that not only scorn the punters, but gives them serious punishment for robbing the prostituted of their basic human rights of safety, dignity, freedom of movement and right to life.

Tear away the demand – and build a culture that cannot even imagined why men ever invented a system where mostly women and girls are made so non-human that they were just are used as fuck-toys.

The sex work advocates will keep the focus as far away as possible from the punters, and will make sure no-one looks clearly at the management class of the sex trade.

Instead they keep the focus on the individual prostitute – either to show as some sad case who could not cope with the joys of sex work, or the happy hooker who is used to recruit others into the sex trade.

Just never look at the punters and profiteers – never see their cold cynical approach to the prostituted, that they have pre-planned what degree of violence they will use on her.

Rather pretend it is an accident, some mis-reading by the prostitute, he must be mentally sick – never see that violence and hate is the foundation of all aspects of the sex trade.

Violence is used kept the prostituted always on their toes. Violence is used to deadened her enough, that things that would have been unthinkable to her become her only reality.

Violence is not emotional, is not a flash in a pan – in the sex trade violence is often slow, calculated and always done to control the prostitute.

That is what sex work advocates refuse to speak about.

But exited women have no choice but to talk about it – for we are so sick of the bodies of the prostituted being made invisible.

My Sick Soul

Posted on by rmott62

I am sad – I thought it was anger – but it is deep sadness.

A sadness that chokes me, a sadness that send sickness into my stomach, a sadness that slows me down, a sadness where I think I may be losing my mind.

I will try to and through this intense grief.

Grief begins and can often end in frustration – that can be over minor stuff like Arsenal losing the league, minimum bad stuff like an elderly cat dying.

Most grief is difficult, but easy for others to frame – we all have known dead parents or friends, many have grief over bad break-ups.

We have language, comfortable silences, ways of not turning away from ordinary grief.

But grief from many years of torture, of being made a sex object – grief of seeing and knowing you were trapped inside the sex trade. There is no language for that, and no comfort in the silence.

No, the overwhelming grief is knowing inside every cell of your body and mind, often can come through as basic physical sickness.

So exited women puked out their past, choked on their past, have pains as ghosts in every parts of their bodies used as porn-toys, get headaches as memories drowned them – all this but so few words of grief.

We are grieving – but no tears come. We are grieving – but pride that meant we survived endless years of torture, means we lost the routes of how to be vulnerable.

We cannot risk grief – not when for most of our lives any weak spot was used to exploit us, and we so scared we will be throughly destroyed.

How do exited prostituted women truly grieve – in a world that is waiting to send back into being sub-human.

For if we really open up to our grief, it would release a rage that would drown us, and more it would be a grief with a memory of what it be made into trash.

Our grief is a clear memory of what it is to be the prostituted – not the veneer others wants, not the victim to survivor easy story to please others – our grief is that even having left far behind that life, so much of its poison is still killing us.

Our grief is the underlying factor is all our trauma – our grief know the reality of our pasts, knows it informs our present, and knows our fight for an end to the sex trade is underpinned every day by that grief.

Grief is a huge push to so no to the sex trade – or in our hearts and minds we can never forget being so lost, that we almost had nothing left that others named as being human.

Grief is remembering what it is lose yourself so much – that even you raped and sexually tortured in the most brutal ways, ways many outside the sex trade cannot imagine – even as that happens, you feel nothing.

Grief is remembering looking at severe internal or external injuries, and just seeing them alien. How can there be injuries without fear or pain, just a deadness?

Grief is remembering how prostitution put you on auto-drive, when others see and know it is scenario of intense danger – like going and laying naked on a bed when a room full of punters.

Grief is remembering seeing and knowing the look of hate in punters’ and profiteers’ eyes – seeing it and knowing to go dead inside, there is nothing a prostitute can do once she knows that look.

That is a tiny tip of the grief that exited prostituted women carry.

There so much more, so much more.

Grief is knowing what is to have a body where every centimetre was used to be living porn. A body used in ways that even in our own nightmares we cannot believe punter could think of, let allow do it, and we didn’t die.

Grief is knowing sometimes we were in places that could have done something to end our hell and did nothing. In hospital, getting patched up or having yet another abolition – no questions or just constant judgement. When police raided clubs or brothels, but ignore our endless rapes and tortures. Friends and families that choose to ignore we were falling apart.

Grief is knowing we hated the punters and profiteers, but we had no power so sunk that hate as far away from our consciousness as we could.

That is the grief of exited prostituted women.

It is not easy or neat – it is wild, scared, raging, refusing to speak. Our grief is a lost feral child wanting love but will bite you in the arm if you offer it.

But the thing with feral children, especially feral teenagers – is they are full of rage and hate – but inside the depths of their being they are lost and utterly terrified. They need some guidance to find their own inner strength.

That would sum up our grief – it is outwardly fierce, but that a cover for utter terror.

Our grief needs some language – please help us to find it.

Anger Making

Posted on by rmott62

I have decided one way to move trauma is to express anger. Not just any old anger, but the anger of the exited woman who kept silent too long.

My anger is connected to exploitation of the prostituted class from all centuries, from cultures I may not know, and the rage grows every time man-made excuses are found for prostitution to continue.

There are no excuses left for sexual slavery – it is not it must her choice; it is not it part of old tradition that most have forgotten the origins; it is not just dirty work someone must do;  it is not  that some women or girls were just born to be whores; it is not just fun or burlesque ;  it is not some kind of equal business exchange; it is not something to just clear off the streets, or get rid of the violently trafficked and clearly under-aged prostitutes – then heck everything will be fine.

Stop lying to yourself, stop making the choice to turn away from the ordinary violence and hate that is inside the whole of the sex trade.

Whilst you are having debates, writing articles or just chatting on why some prostitution ain’t that bad really – whilst you do that, prostituted women and girls who you have decided do not fit the “victim-prostitute” label, are being worst than silenced.

They become the prostitutes that punters know they can do any violence do, knowing if they say – look she enjoy it really – society is more than willing to believe the word of a liar, rather than question what is done to the prostitute.

I so angry the only most prostituted women and girls survive knowing that they have no rights to safety or worse knowing most outsiders think it her choice, she not real violence.

Sorry, I know many want to say this is not true – but my experiences of rape when I was inside the sex trade, is even when was so brutal I was close to death – it was never named as rape by those in a position to help me or give me justice.

I was raped in ways that not subtle ways – no I was in hospital with such brutalised anal rape that a doctor thought I should stay for at least two nights. Only for the nurse to shout in a crowded room –

“Whores like you, waste of the NHS time”

Then sew up my anal injuries without bothering with anesthetic – nice.

I had little or no support for all bashing ups, all the internal injuries, no questioning of why I brought the morning-after pill so often – if others think it might be prostitution, their instinct is turn away and then invent it must be her choice, to make themselves feel better about themselves.

That just pisses me off.

Once others decide that the prostituted have chosen their lifestyles – then they very quickly only see what they want to be liberating; questioning old-fashioned morals; quick money; way to meet powerful men and so many other very dangerous myths.

Well, I and many exited prostituted women who did indoors “high-class” prostitution wanted so much to believe those myths as well, we wanted to be safe; we wanted that rich men respected us enough to see we were human; we wanted to have some control in our lives.

We never got it – but others continually tell us how brilliant it was.

Said by people who have never been trapped in a flat or hotel room with a man rich enough to keep you for days, weeks or months. This man owns you, so his violence is just his entitlement – in that environment a rich who may have access to any hard-core porn can and does use the prostitute’s body as his personal porn playground.

That is the reality for many escorts, many brought girlfriends – that reality is sent into silence.

Rich men from any cultures are always more important than the prostitute.

I may write more some other time, I am burnt out now.

My Tolerance has Been Blown Away

Posted on by rmott62

I have been almost incapable of writing for round a week, for I have been going a bout of trauma from hell.

It has affected my breathing, my sleep, I can’t speak, I get anal bleeding and I keep choking – but apart from that I am fine, ha! So writing has been pushed away, as I try to stay focus on the ordinary and dull to keep some degree of sanity.

But part of my trauma is an underlying fury at all the things that I tolerant that are a constant remainder, that whether in or exited from the sex trade, most prostituted women and girls are viewed as sub-humans.

To be honest, the constant noise about Slutwalk is one of those things, but in this post I say how and why my tolerance levels have exploded within me.

I know that as exited prostituted woman, I have quite high levels of tolerance, I do tend to either avoid getting involved when it is clearly going to trigger me too much, or to be engaged but keep myself very detached.

That is the training I had when I was prostituted, especially when I did indoors prostitution with punters who wanted more than to have a porn-toy, but to pretend to themselves it was some kind of relationship.

These punters and that type of sick prostitution, taught me and many other prostituted women, to look as if we are listening and tolerating all their words – whilst we would mentally go miles away or survive by imagining murdering the bastard.

We are tolerant – but it does not mean we believe the crap that is thrown at us every day  – we are just afraid of our fury when we let our tolerance slip only a little.

Our silence is hardly ever a sign that we agree with you.

Take Slutwalk as an example.

For most exited prostituted women, we fully know in every cell of our bodies that Slut may have other meanings apart from saying prostituted women are so low that any punter can and should have them – but that is the meaning that was poison inside us, the meaning yelled and screamed at us as we were raped beyond the language of rape, the meaning that often our label as profiteers made us do extras that nearly killed us.

Of course, every prostituted woman and girl knows it is despicable that men make excuses, such as what a rape victim is wearing, but isn’t it much worse that we have built a whole society’s view that if anyone dresses as some stereotype whore, she must be up for it. There little questioning why the prostitute is feared so much.

And what it hard to take is there no rush to stop prostituted women and girls from being raped whatever the fuck they are wearing. Christ, if you want to feel good about stopping rapes, it would cool if you could end the institutionalised, common and usually sadistic rapes of women and girls in porn and prostitution.

I want marches demanding an end to the sex trade, marches saying prostitution is to pay-to-rape, marches speaking out about the sadism in the production of porn – I don’t want things like Slutwalk saying being a Slut can be just work for those inside the sex trade.

Thanks for reminding me again that those inside the sex trade are considered sub-humans.

I am so ill still – my fury and grief is almost killing me.

From that place, I will say if you know the realities of the prostituted, you can stop silencing those of us who known it – or you become part of the poison that is slowly destroying us.

You have the luxury to turn away from the violence and hate that is the foundations of all of the sex trade – we do not.

You can ease your consciences by only seeing and viewing the “sex worker” in small moments that she fits your preconceived stereotypes of empowerment – we cannot forget the realities of what it is to be made into goods to be tortured, raped, brainwashed and thrown away.

You can turn away from the voices of exited prostituted women – for in the end, our truths cannot be debated away, cannot fitted into a box to be thrown down a well – our truths whether spoken or not demand attention.

We speak into mostly silence, of how men who make the choice to be punters and or profiteers are completely upfront that they hate women – and that is why there is the sex trade.

Christ, it is not rocket science to see that the vast majority of punters are paying to owned the prostitute as his property – bit like slavery.

If he is paying to own her, is it not far more likely he want to use violence on her, then to see her as human and just have regular sex.

It is stupidity to imagine otherwise.

And it not rocket science to know that the most profit in all aspects of the sex trade is by supplying images and access to sadistic sex. The sex trade is all about profit – so there millions of women and girls being sexually tortured as you read this, all over the world.

Stop looking for the nice aspects of the sex trade – would you say some incest is ok if the abuser said she smiled, would you say some domestic violence is ok coz they watch TV together after a brutal beating. But as you see only the smile of the prostitute or woman inside porn – you make the choice to turn off her reality.

I am so angry – I am not sure if this post can be followed.

Only know this is a tiny part of my rage.

The Ultimate Slut

Posted on by rmott62

This year there has been a movement to do Slutwalk, which has caught like wildfire with quite privileged women, and has many roots with the supporters of the sex trade.

It came from a good idea that no woman or girl should be raped or abused because the clothes she is wearing – or her lifestyle. That is true – but that has been easy for the sex trade propaganda machine to manipulate.

After all the Ultimate Slut is often under the control of the sex trade – she is the prostitute, she is inside violent porn, she is the escort, she is consumed by sex tourists.

So if you choose to re-brand the term Slut – know you can do from a position of deep privilege that the Ultimate Slut has no access to. If you choose to say it is empowering to be named as Slut – then listen and hear women and girls inside the sex trade that are stripped of power and any voice.

Slutwalk is not speaking to or for the Ultimate Slut. It is speaking over and through them.

That would named as arrogance if it was male-led, why are exited women meant to be tolerant just because it was invented by women.

If you want to know what it to be a Slut, a Slut without freedom of movement, freedom of speech, freedom of safety – then place yourself inside the skin of the Ultimate Slut.

Women and girls inside most aspects of the sex trade are raped, battered and murdered whatever they wear, whatever environment they are placed in.

What does any Slutwalk do that makes any practical difference to that?

Instead too many who join Slutwalk say that women – avoids the messiness of girls – choose to be inside the sex trade. That for those women being a Slut is just their work.

So they march in proud solidarity to keep the sex trade running business as normal.

If I am feeling nice I would say that is turning a blind eye to any violence that is the norm inside the sex trade. But today I don’t feel like being kind – I would say it a deeply privileged and selfish attitude, that sees women inside the sex trade as sub-human who are good only to use as propaganda.

How many women who go on and on about being inside the sex trade is just “work”, have done it full-time for several years, with no power or choice over what punters will use them?

How many women who go on and on that it just work, have been in conditions where rape is so normal is cannot be known, where it is normal that women disappear, where no has no meaning?

Say it is work when you have had lines of men queuing up to pour in all their porn fantasies into your living body.

Say it is work, when you lose speech or will to protest when that only lead to more sadistic sex or threats of death.

Be inside the skin of the Ultimate Slut, then go on your Slutwalk.

I will never reclaim the term Slut – for I will never allow the male violence and hate to the prostituted class to made even more invisible by women saying it ok to be called Slut.

Slut is a male term of deep contempt and hate for all women and girls – but for the Ultimate Slut, men are saying she is nothing but a thing he will fuck into trash.

How is it possible to reclaim that?

This is short, because this whole thing has made me very sick. Remember my sickness is part of being reminded again that I am sub-human by women privilege enough to reclaim the term Slut.

I cannot forget the poison of that term – I bloody wish I could.

What’s in a Name

Posted on by rmott62

Because of broken glasses and a broken mind, I have not been able to write this week.

This week I feel broken inside, but know it is a strength not a weakness. For this slow breaking up is coming back into becoming fully human.

This is the place I am writing this post from, after that brief preamble, I will try to get to the point – but I not afraid to explore by rambling.

This post is exploring why I write under my real name, what a name means to me.

I know for many their own name is so familiar that they may forget it belongs to them. Their name is no big deal.

That is not always true for prostituted women – many of whom lose track of their real name or in some cases to survive by forgetting  they had a name.

To have a name that you can announce before you, is to know you are fully human and that your presence has some impact.

Many prostituted women and girls do not have that luxury. Too many accept their nothingness by accepting the names given to them by the sex trade. Too many survive being made into sex objects by refusing to speak any name.

Too many have come to believe their name are words of violence – slut, whore, bitch, cunt, slave, slag and so many more words they get lost in the wind.

What’s in a name for the prostituted – personally, I would say it is everything. To regain that you can use your real name, is part of the beginning of regaining a life that belongs to the exited woman.

When I was prostituted, I lived inside a confused haze, a haze of refusing sleep, a haze of always expecting some form of violence, a haze of going dead to perform the happy hooker inside whatever trash was thrown at me.

In that environment, my name meant nothing.

Usually I give no name, naming me was pointless when I was just an object to fuck, smash and pretend to kill.

But on occasions, I give out my real name. My name meant nothing to me, it was never connected to my existence. It was just words spoken by the living dead.

My name was killing me then – now I want to use my name to say that I am alive.

My name now is spoken with pride.

Pride that I not only survived, but remembered enough to fight with fury and grief to say no more damage to women and girls in the name of the sex trade.

Pride that I have a name – I was not made into a statistic of yet another dead prostitute, a statistic of yet another exited woman so mentally destroyed she is still distanced from her real name.

I am proud – but it is a pride that drowns in grief, that so names of brilliant women and girls from the sex trade are lost and never known.

A name is everything – when for large parts of your life you have been nothing.

A name is saying I am an individual, not an object for any punter or profiteer to buy and sell.

A name is reclaiming what it is to be human – after or many years of forgetting that any part can be known as human. Years of believing your purpose was to nameless holes to be filled, nameless pieces of the body to get fuck, hit and tortured.

Being nothing but what punters and profiteers make and then name you as. You may named whore, stripper, escort, common prostitute, phone sex, brought wife, and endless other names that make you lose your essence.

Who needs a name when no punter or profiteer see you, only see the role they have predetermined for you. You are nothing but goods – whether those goods are under-aged whores, whores of every ethnicity or culture to destroyed; whether the goods are made “posh” named as escorts, girlfriend material, a wife that is brought online or in sex tourism.

None of these need names – just get on and please the punter and profiteer – give her no name beyond that role, then we all can pretend no real damage is done to her, she is just an object after all.

Getting back a name is to let in that there was masses of damage done not just in general to the prostituted – but allow in the terror and grief that huge damage was done to the individual exited prostituted woman.

To get back a name to say and know that all control was stolen – that is why having a name meant so little.

To get back a name is to feel with a consciousness the injuries, the rapes, the tortures and the near-death experiences that were all too common in prostitution. Getting back a name, allows in the pain and the grief, and the knowledge there was no protection from that violence and hate.

To get back a name is to know by remembering that was a position of no power or control – to remember how it is have no choice, and to fight for a world where no woman or girl become so lost inside the sex trade.

I have a name because I survive enough to fight the sex trade.