Monthly Archives: October 2011

You Are So Cold

Posted on by rmott62

I dedicate to all my Sister exited women who may understand where I coming from.
It is expected to be emotional after exiting the sex trade, this is rarely true. But to not have emotions is made that the woman must be cold, and the ignorant response to that coldness is that she must ok.

Well, if it really was that bad she would be crying, she would have a massive temper, she may be attempting suicide on a regular basis.

She would a wreck – which is good, for many outsider can deal with the exited woman better if she their image of the prostituted victim.

I do not understand why anyone think most exited women would have emotions – when most prostituted women and girls survived by being roles, by acting tough, and especially by hiding all emotions.

Why would any exited woman trust those in the outside world enough to show the depths of her emotions, when all around her are reminders of her betrayal?

Is it that you want her to be emotional so you can feel better about yourself – so you can have the power-trip of playing the role of a carer, so you can distract yourself from that you could be her, so you only focus on her as an individual and ignore that the structure of sex trade that tried to destroy her – ignore that you are part of a society that condones that daily destruction.

Is that why you have such a need for exited women to be emotional?

I say that most women who are lucky enough to exit the sex trade, often need their pride and self-respect as much as they need oxygen. To lay bare too many emotion to please others, is a destruction of that pride.

Do not expect or demand that an exited woman will or can trust you, just because you say you are friendly and trustworthy. Do not push her – you could push towards the deadness of the sex trade again.

Instead know if an exited woman make the choice to be emotional with you, to speak to the truth of her own experiences – it is a great honour and gift she is giving you.

Let it be freely given, not demanded or taken from her.

Know the reality of the sex trade – is to survive being inside that hell the prostituted woman or girl has to learn to have no emotions, or to play the emotions that are demanded from her.

To be a good prostitute, a good porn actress, a good stripper, good at massage, good mail-order bride and so many other sex trade roles – you must learn the coded emotions that mean you may survive.

The major emotions to know and learn is to smile, the calming emotions to please men, the ignorance of disgust, the emotions of the willing hostess-slave.

Learn that role and you may stay alive. May for at any time, in any place and regardless how good you are at your role – any punter or profiteer can kill you out of some whim or to prove he is a man.

You may survive – if you ignore the urge to kill yourself, or to live so close to death that you may “by accident” fall into death.

Surviving the sex trade is just luck – how can it not be, when so many amazing prostituted women and girls have left us.

But a major way to have the chance to survive is to murder all emotions – and play the role of the perfect porn-toy.

That is something that is impossible for the majority of exited women to speak about – hell, it nearly impossible for most to know in their own minds and hearts.

It is hard to express how to survive you did the lowest, the things that sickened every cell of your body – you did what punters demanded, you did what managers/profiteers made you into.

How can words or writing truly express that desperate need to survive that nearly kill all that was human in you.

All you do is find some peace for what you had to be – and know you did the most amazing act possible – you exited that hell.

Is it any wonder that exited women appears tough and unemotional?

For me, they are all the greatest heroes I know of.

I don’t need to see emotions to believe that.

Been Away

Posted on by rmott62

I have been taking time out, coz my power force is very tired. But I am also doing extremely well, and feel on yet another level with my work to expose the sex trade.

I feel free to slow down, and to as focused as I can. For now, I can leave my family behind, and not worry too much about their judgement or hurt from my work.

I know my family do not read this blog – and that is a good thing, for it was a shadow censoring me.

I love my family for who and what they have become – I need my work to be separate from that. Just knowing I have their love and non-judgement is a power force for me.

I can now focus on issues that are deeper, which I may write about very soon.

Issues on why surviving the sex trade is not just some far end of a continuum of male violence to women and girls. I want to write and explore the differences – and say the connections as well.

Issues of accepting that many if not exited women may not display the emotions that others want from them. To explore that the worse and the longer term the sexual, physical and mental torture is – the more likely that prostituted will react with deadness, with a tough exterior, will bat it off with humour.

Issues of speaking into the reality of being in that room, the reality of being made invisible coz indoors prostitution must be made nice so men can always get away with the buying and selling of the prostituted class.

Issues of the constant condoning of indoors prostitution in the media, by so-called feminists, in high and low cultures, by leftists, by all religions and man-made politics/philosophies, and all my surroundings.

Issues of being told not to say that prostituted class are made into goods, made sub-humans – by the same people who back harm-reduction. When harm-reduction is a concept that keeps the prostituted as goods who are patched up and sent back into hell.

So I been away, but I not dead yet.

Sickness of the Soul

Posted on by rmott62

It nearly time for Reclaim the Night, and I want to write my passionate plea to make visible what is continually made invisible.

I have been on many Reclaim the Night marches, and always find them inspiring.

But, there is a giant but, for me is that there little or no recognition of the realities of indoors prostitution. This brings a sickness into my soul that makes words get drown out.

I go on the London as often as I can afford it, or have the mental and physical energy to go. But each year is getting harder and harder.

It is just the march goes through areas – lovely touristy areas with beautiful architecture, areas full of party-goers, folks going to the theatre, going out to eat – areas full of hotels, posh hotels that I escorted in or know of other prostituted women or girls being sexually tortured in.

It is just the march goes through areas – areas of cheap hotels, students flats, hostels, and lovely parks – areas where indoors prostitution is everywhere and made nowhere.

When I first started on the London march, I knew this, but I shut my mind and body from knowing it fully.

I march as a robot, and wonder why I could not celebrated.

I had the start of the sickness of my soul.

Now, every year it is getting harder – but every time I know the march is vital,  just there is the loud silence round indoors prostitution.

How do we reclaim the lives back for those prostituted women and girls inside those hotels, those flats and those hostels? How can we give them back dignity and tell they have access to the basis human right to full safety?

I do not have answers, just a few ideas. My ideas are coming from the screaming of my soul.

I speak out so one day all prostituted women could be on Reclaim the Night without the sickness inside their souls.

We must look seriously at indoors prostitution, and place it outside simple stereotypes.

Know that indoors prostitution can be inside almost any type of building. Be that a up-market hotel or a hostel for the homeless; be that flats above a high-street shop or a penthouse flat; be that in some suburban street or a street in the middle of city-centre tourist trap.

Indoors prostitution can be on every type of street – so Reclaim every Street from the pimps and profiteers that claimed those streets.

Don’t allow our streets to be just their cash-cows, and because it is closed away, to allow those pimps/profiteers to make it invisible.

This is hard, for Reclaim the Night and most feminist action against violence against women and girls is very strong at speaking out how the vast majority of sexual violence done to non-prostituted women and girls that is behind closed doors.

The feminist movement is powerful at pushing open the doors for non-prostituted women and girls – it was feminists that shown the reality of rape in marriage, of acquaintance rape, of child sexual abuse.

There is tons to be done for non-prostituted women and girls – but it is spoken about and it is on the banners when feminists campaign about violence against women and girls.

Speak out against indoors prostitution – and there is a deafening silence or too often excuses made to make it acceptable.

I dream of the day that exited women from indoors prostitution speak out to the marchers – speaking out how you are marching in streets that you don’t see the routine hate and torture.

Streets where the prostituted are raped so often, they have lost the language of rape – all they have is knowing they are still breathing.

Streets where there may be flats, hotels or hostels where any punters can enter, knowing it has the front of looking just normal and acceptable.

Streets where every porn fantasy the punter wants is cater for – be that under-aged girls, be his sick porn ethic dream, be that whatever sadistic violence he can imagine. Everything is available when firmly behind closed doors.

To cater for this constant demand – there will be internal and external trafficking, there will be a supply of under-aged prostituted girls, there will be production of sadistic porn, there will be access to beating up the prostituted, there will be any and all types of sexual torturing, and there will be the throwing away of the prostituted class.

That is what we are marching through. We must reclaim back the streets for the prostituted class trapped inside the hell of indoors prostitution.

Students Beware

Posted on by rmott62

When I first started this blog, I wrote about the cynical attitude of the sex trade about students with debt issues.

The sex trade profiteers view students just a vast market to exploit and use to get cheap labour. The sex trade profiteers use students to promote that escorting and lap-dancing in harm-free and a great earner.

The sex trade profiteers lie and manipulate students – but what shock me is how so many quite privileged students buy the lies.

But they are only shown the veneer – never the reality of being inside the sex trade full-time and long-term.

The sex trade knows it can get in students”working” in lap-dancing clubs.

These students will get to what appears a large sum of money – but she is exactly being under-paid, but most managers of these clubs always have policies that no lap dancer can communicate too much, especially never mention so-called wages.

Unlike full-time lap-dancers, most students do get constant fines for any and no reason. Students are not paying horrific house kick-backs, that leaves most full-time lap-dancers in debt to the manager and unable to exit.

The managers are careful to keep students away from the normalisation of violence in lap-dancing clubs. They prevent the “customers” from feeling them up, from throwing objects at them, from following them outside the club, from forcing them to french-kiss.

They do not make students have sex with the manager’s “friends” or business pals. They do not make student lap-dancers do prostitution and/or porn as one way to get extras.

They keep students away from the back rooms, where sex is expected, where violent sex is often the norm.

This is all calculated and very cynical.

It is done for the sex trade knows having students are part-time and usually short-term, means they can keep it glamorous and cool. It is little and nothing to do with the hell for most lap-dancers.

The students are used to get rid of trouble-makers in full-time lap-dancers, or for the managers to make profit by moving the full-time lap-dancers in the more lucrative business of indoors prostitution and/or being inside mainstream porn.

This means the managers can pay less with more lap-dancers. It is a win-win for the sex trade, and loss-loss or the humans rights of lap-dancers.

It is the same with escorting, the other so-called glam way for female students to pay off their debts. Again the escort managers are very careful to students far away from the reality of full-time long-term escorting.

The managers select the punters very carefully, making sure the normal sadistic punter is not with the student.

Again the student is paid what appears to them a large sum, but this used to cut down how much full-time long-term escorts are paid. But more likely, coz students are cheap the managers can sack other escorts and still have plenty of chioce for the punter to select.

Students are used as a propaganda machine by the sex trade.

They know if they get students to go back into colleges or with their friends, and say it is a myth that the sex trade is women-hating and full of violence – that will recruit far more women than coming direct from the sex trade profiteers.

These profiteers and their normalising of violence and degradation invisible, or just make them into “decent” business people.

Meanwhile, for the vast majority of lap-dancers and escorts, the hate, the violence and the deaths continue as normal.

Meanwhile, for most lap-dancers and escorts are raped, are sexually tortured and made sub-humans – and those who are lucky enough to exit are living with extreme trauma.

But students are happy – so what’s the problem?

Please use your intelligence – and don’t fall for the lies of the sex trade.

Living the Life

Posted on by rmott62

The expression “living the life” is commonly used to normalise prostitution, especially street-based prostitution, and as usual is yet another excuse to lessen the violence.

I choose to look at that expression and change it – I would say many prostituted women and girls have little or no choice but to live the life – for the sex trade is inside every cell of their body, and the intensive brainwashing make that life the only one they can know.

Think how it is with a one-off rape, many women will speak of pollution and not being able to get rid of the invasion under her skin.

Then think, think and be the prostitute who is raped by the thousands. How would you be in that scenario?

Would you not have pollution in every cell of your body? Would you not react by being hard and deadening all emotions and feelings?

Then you will have an inkling of what it is be in the life.

The life is have your body is a playground for any and all male porn fantasies. In that life, all your choices are stolen, made to be manipulated.

To be fully in the life, you must not remind the punter too much that you are human – no you are holes, you are sexual noises to make him a master, your hands and mouths are just there to wank him.

To be in the life, you must forget you have rights and that you are an individual with dreams.

Yes to be in the life thoroughly, being the living dead is highly recommended.

This is the life that is glamorous in films, inside male novels, inside popular songs and even in advertising.

The life has become a soft-core mainstream image of prostitution – making it look relatively safe, maybe a money-earner and a regular job.

The life is sometimes as sordid, as full of violent usually pimps, where other prostitutes will cut the throats of new prostitutes – all male porn fantasies.

There is little or no showing of the relentless routine of the life – routine as in taking drugs or being inside a concentration camp.

I can only speak of the relentless routine of indoors prostitution.

The routine of being picked by punters who are more than likely going to treat your body as their porn-doll, making you into trash.

The routine of the routine being constantly broken by being moved round many aspects of the sex trade. Moved from brothels in sex clubs, moved from sex clubs to flats/hotels, from flats/hotels to being filmed in porn, from porn to brothels and on and on and on.

The routine of profiteers/pimps choosing to “punish” the prostitute from any or no reason – be it putting into gang-rapes, be it beating her up, be it moving her from one city to another city a long way away, be it making her go with the most sadistic punter/friend, and so many other punishments.

The routine of the fear of being killed or made to disappear, routine of living a life where you learn not to get attached to other prostitutes coz they disappear all the time.

That is the very tip of the iceberg of the life in indoors prostitution.

It is not a life – it is a living death.

Explanation For Last Post

Posted on by rmott62

I have never understood why the endless sexual torturing of the prostituted class in and around war-zones is made so normal. It is part of myths, it is romanticised in war literature and films, it made to normal so no-one will question it.

But when and if these same soldiers or men who are following the tracks of war go and rape the non-prostituted, there is a rage and disgust.

I cannot come to terms with that – I may never come to terms with that.

It is expected that all male followers of war must have full and unrestricted access to the prostituted class.

We must provide as many brothels as it is needed; we must say all women and girls that are attached, caught up or follow those men are the prostituted class; we must say it is the right of men in wars to use the prostituted class as rest and recreation.

This is not new – men have always used the prostituted class to ease their trauma of war.

Why do we think that is ok?

These men may be so hardened and battle-weary that it will be normal for them to torture the prostituted.

Why is that ok?

It is ok, for the prostituted are classed as non-humans, as commodities for soldiers and other men will fuck their hate, rage and confusion into.  It is ok or the prostituted class have the role to soothe and comfort those men enough to get to go back into war.

It is no matter how many prostitutes are raped, no matter the many varieties of sexual torturing that is forced into the prostituted, no matter how many of the prostituted are killed or cannot live – as long as the war machine keeps going.

The prostituted class are not humans, just another tool to get soldiers and their followers in the right frame of mind to hate and kill without question.

So, I wonder why anyone is surprised that men caught in the war machine would step outside the prostituted class to rape and sexually torture.

For as long as we normalise the raping and torturing the prostituted class, it cannot be a huge leap to viewing all women as whores and available to men in wars.

What shocks me, is that anyone is surprised when this has been going on for at least 3000 years. Only every it is found out men in wars are raping and torturing the non-prostituted women and girls – there is a huge outrage, and usually very little action.

Each time it just like we have discover fire yet again – like it is some mystery we cannot fathom.

Each time, there is outrage – there is no demand to close down army brothels, no demand to end the constant access to the prostituted class or men in wars, no care about the prostituted class having full access to basis human rights.

Until that happens – there will always be rape and sexual torturing in war-zones – only it will made invisible for it is mainly done to the prostituted class.

Non-News

Posted on by rmott62

www.huffingtonpost.com

ABIDJAN, Ivory Coast — United Nations peacekeepers in Ivory Coast enticed underage girls in a poor part of the West African nation to exchange sex for food, according to a United States Embassy cable released by WikiLeaks. The cable written in January 2010 focuses on the behavior of Beninese peacek…

Like ·  · Unfollow Post · Share · 55 minutes ago · Privacy:

    • Rebecca Mott

      We should be critical of this – for it has always been common that soldiers and male followers have always raped the prostituted class for at least 3000 years – and that is considered normal and their right for rest and recreation. It is normal to build brothels round war-zone for centuries, it is normal to have the prostituted class as camp followers or centuries – it is normal that soldiers and other men embedded in war should have full and unrestricted access to sexually torture the prostituted class. It only if and when these same men rape non-prostituted women and girls that it suddenly become news – this has always happened and each time we react with shock, but very little is done. But there is always outrage when it is the non-prostituted women and girls – for then it considered a major crime. But the constant raping of the prostituted class is non-news, for it just the way the world. Oh silly me, I always forget it is ok – for the prostituted class are sub-humans, so no harm done then.
      25 minutes ago · Like

I Dream the Prostituted Will Be Fully Human

Posted on by rmott62

This is dedicated to Catherine MacKinnon, whose birthday is today.

 

Although each and every woman and girl inside the sex trade are human – there is little or nothing in most cultures that treats them that way. Instead they are viewed as any and everything that is not connected to being human – especially as the prostituted class are made into consumable goods.

It seems that no-one wants to be reminded that there is a human essence inside each and every woman and girl inside the sex trade.

To know that, to see that, to fully feel that – would mean having to know, to view, and to feel the relentless destruction of that human essence.

Look at the language that is used to described the prostituted.

Call them sex worker – this is a general term that eases your soul, but does little or nothing to stop the endless violence that is her norm.

By re-branding the prostituted as sex workers – you are pushing them into the role of being consumable goods, goods without humanity whose purpose is to be fucked until she is worn out. But you it is ok, coz it is just work, maybe nasty work – but at least she has a job.

Most language around the prostituted class makes it ok by using the language of sex – usually the language of implied consensual sex. That is why the term sex work is so damned dangerous.

If being inside porn and prostitution is just sex with money – than it very hard to speak of rape, to speak of sexual torture. It become almost impossible to have words for the terror, the inner resistance, the deadness that keeps you alive.

Without that basis language – how can the prostituted class ever reach being fully human. For they are women and girls who are abused – it just the role that they are.

This belief is destroying millions of the prostituted every day.

It is a genocide that is hidden in plain view – which only proves that the prostituted are not considered fully human.

Also this is proven by how it common to think the solution to prostitution is put it indoors – that is to continue business as normal just hidden from the public gaze.

This is considered a reasonable approach only if you view the prostituted as goods that can and will be moved around at beck and call of the sex trade market.

Place it indoors – and the prostituted are made just porn-goods in maybe a nice environment; much of high-class prostitution is just the same old violence and degradation, just more time and space to torture the prostituted in.

Most punters that used indoors prostitution view the prostitute as non-human. She to him is holes to be fucked; she to him is every piece of porn he has read or viewed – be that his pretend girlfriend, his private Lolita, his fuckable slave, his racist fantasy, his fucking the posh girl into the ground.

See, she is everything but a full human.

To be made a porn-toy, is to have your body treated as an experiment to see how far the prostitute can take pain and still live. To made a porn-toy, is to know not to show fear, never to cry, not to fight back – for it is learnt that just make him happy and he does more violence.

How can anyone say the prostitute is fully human when she is made that porn-toy?

Others may be more academic, may have statistics to show the horror, may be able to change the laws – but I as an exited prostituted woman have visceral reaction to whether the prostituted are fully human.

I was not human as men queued to fuck in violently as the pea-brains could imagine. I was not human as anal-rape, gang-rape, deep-throat-rape, rape into my ear, rape as I strangled or made to drown, rape with suffocation, rape before, during or with being beaten up.

That was my role as a prostitute – how could I possibly remain human then?

But I just a very tiny example of the norm for the vast majority of the prostituted. The violence that I existed inside – is the norm in most countries, norm for indoors and street prostitution, norm for most commercial porn, norm for the prostituted from all backgrounds and cultures.

Don’t just think of the tiny few of the prostituted who may not have violence as their norm – and dismiss the close to 98% of the prostituted who survive by killing all that is human in them, just to make through the day.

That is my visceral reaction – it bloody hard to be calm about this.

But maybe my dream of the prostituted being made fully human will happen.

Sex Tips From a War-Zone

Posted on by rmott62

One of the hurtful and ignorant things that has ever been said to me, and to many other exited prostituted women – is that we must know great sexual techniques, maybe we should be gurus of sex.

This comes from the propaganda of the sex trade, that being inside prostitution is all about loving sex, learning to be sensual and pleasing the punter, hell it their view that whores are sex goddesses.

This has nothing to do with reality – it covers up the deadness, the violence, the terror, and the sheer isolation.

So I will give you some sex tips – but you may not want to use them.

LEARN TO LAY DEAD

This is vital.

Learn to lay dead whatever is happening – lay dead whatever the pain; lay dead whatever porn fantasies are being poured into your body; lay dead however much you want to run away.

BECOME WHATEVER HE WANTS

This is mostly become his personal porn-toy.

To be this, you must lost your right to have a personality that is yours – you are what he thinks you are.

You are a schoolgirl, his private Lolita. He may know you are an adult but fucks you as a child, even speaks to you in childish language. Or inside the sex trade he may fuck the under-aged prostitute whilst pretending he knew she was an adult whore.

You may be put inside the violence of porn – may be in a double/treble penetration in the vagina or the anus; may be anally raped whilst your head is suffocated by pillows or drowning in water; may be made to be inside gang-rapes which you must enjoy.

You must accept this, you must act as if it is wonderful and life-fulfilling thing you have ever known – you must at least make sure the man/men have a really good time.

You may be part of the jolly whore game – that is being very close to death through his sexual violence, then it will stop, and you hear laughter of how it is just the “let’s kill a whore” game.

This may be through having oral sex rammed into so hard and so far back into your throat that you lose consciousness or are sick; this may be suffocated, strangulated or drowning; this may be from being beaten up whilst violent sex is happening; this may be from being sexually attacked in every hole of your body that all it can is to collapses towards death.

MAKE VIOLENCE YOUR NORM

Believe the lie – that real sex is only good if there is violence, preferably with you being damaged and the male having complete power and control.

You will find you get so used to violence, and your body being as an experiment to see how much pain and degradation a woman can take.

It will be so much your norm that only extreme or out of the ordinary sadistic violence will give you the emotion of pain. Most other sadistic sexual acts will be made to be numbed or will be made unimportant.

Your body will be a battleground – and like a good soldier you survived by not knowing your reality.

FINAL WORD

So you still want sex tips from an exited whore – you still want me to say it was life-affirming, that it was empowering, that I reach some spiritual sphere through fucking strangers for money.

Tough, that is a sick delusion that keeps the prostituted class imprisoned inside violence and degradation.

My reality, and this reality is a tiny example of the reality for the vast majority of the prostituted class – is that I lived inside violence that was so constant, so relentless and so cold, that I only survived by refusing to know my own destruction.

In that environment, I learnt to smile, I learnt to boost the egos of bastards, I became an expert at faking orgasms, I learnt to lose myself and be a porn-toy. I became a happy hooker – whilst inside there was a constant screaming of rage, pain and terror.

That is my sex tips – take them or leave them.

You March, We Drown

Posted on by rmott62

I have written about Slutwalks before – but now I wish to say again why the vast majority of the prostituted class can never fit inside the movement of Slutwalks.

We cannot belong as long Slutwalks allow itself to be hand-in-hand with profiteers and promoters of the sex trade. I would love to believe this is naivety – but the more it goes on, the more it becomes a conscious political statement that Slutwalk is allied with the sex trade.

This comes from the simple statement – “being a Slut can be from pleasure or through work”. This comes from having at most Slutwalks speakers from sex work unions,  or marching with those who back keeping the status quo of the sex trade – never with exited women who now are abolitionists, or those who back real change for the prostituted class. This comes from thinking it would ok to have fund-raisers inside lap-dancing clubs. This come from not recognising that most women and girls inside the sex trade may be forced to wear “slut” clothes. And this comes from not taking on board from most women and girls have the word “Slut” used as a vicious weapon of war against them.

With all that in mind, it has become clear that Slutwalks has consciously excluded the prostituted class. For we stubbornly will continue to fight to frame it not as work, it is not a labour issue – we fight to show it an issue of human rights, and it about preventing the normalisation of sexual torture.

I see no signs that any Slutwalk as yet has taken that on board – too busy looking for happy hookers that some book has said exists, to notice that around 98% of women and girls inside the sex trade have all their choices stolen from them.

It is easier to frame as just a job – a job that in some romantic imagination is all about meeting interesting men, learning amazing sex techniques, hell becoming a goddess-whore, earning loads of cash, and easy to exit.

In that frame, it will easy to spot rape for the prostituted class – for in those rose-tainted glasses sexual violence would be unusual, and obviously the managers/pimps would be outraged, the police would believe the prostitute, and the violent would be banned and arrested.

For of course, any sexual violence would dealt with in-house and the prostituted class would be respected, when it is kept as sex work.

That is the fantasy that Slutwalks supports by saying it is just sex work.

The reality of the sex trade is that is organised around rape as the norm – but when framed as work, it is not branded as rape but that it is the role/choice of the individual woman or girl inside the sex trade.

It not normal that the prostituted class will know or have the language of rape for their realities – for the rapes, the sexual torturing and mental violence are so constant and endless that it has to frame as “work” in order to stay sane.

It is a betrayal of the prostituted class to frame it as work – for it leave inside an institution that is founded on sexual torture and seeing the prostituted as disposal goods.

I will stick with Reclaim the Night – for it confronts male sexual violence, which means the prostituted class can found a voice inside it.