Monthly Archives: April 2012

Are We Not Human

Posted on by rmott62

This week the week of Shakespeare’s birthday, and I think of –

“If you cut me, do I not bleed?”

That may be said by a male character, but it is true for all prostituted women and girls.

It is true we are cut, we are raped, we are verbally abused, we forced into ignoring all human emotions – and always it is made of no importance.

Could it really be that it is more than just punters and sex trade profiteers who are the instruments of making the prostituted class sub-human.

It is the majority of most cultures and societies that makes our wounds and hurting invisible – this includes those who claimed to be on our side, but still view the prostituted as sub-humans.

Let us look at the normal existence of many of the prostituted – look with eyes of denial, eyes that make the normal abuse of the prostituted into no big deal – let’s imagined the prostituted as I have to imagine others do.

Imagine the prostituted can only done by cutting out your heart – and seeing no pain or terror or grief.

Imagine the prostituted by losing all sense of logic and reason – by saying she does feel pain as you would, that clear-cut degradation is fine for her, that she is so sex-crazed she will sleep with up to twenty strange men in a night with great enjoyment.

Imagine the prostituted by knowing she must not be you, no connection to you – you being a human, the prostitute being sub-human.

Do that and that may explain away how you can claim to be on the side of the prostituted – whilst abandoning her to a living death.

Look and know that most of the prostituted were children when they were first paid to be raped. In the West, the average entry age is 12, that is so in “nice” countries like Britain, USA, Australia, Germany and so-called rich countries.

They are children, they have the fear of a child, the naivety of a child, the trust of a child – and for a very short time the hope of a child.

But when you rape a child and pay her money – when it is many men paying to rape that child – then it become not child abuse, but something she has chosen.

For once labelled as a prostitute, you become unrapeable, you are in control of all your own choices, and of course you stay because you must enjoy your lifestyle.

So the age means nothing – for all the prostituted are considered to be girls no matter their age.

Child abuse cannot exist in the world of prostitution.

To feed this imagined world of prostitution, it is important that the prostituted are so dead to sexual, physical and mental violence that they can be just objects for men to fuck.

But to have your belief that prostitution is fine and dandy – all previous abuse done the prostituted is made invisible.

We must not acknowledge the large amount of women and girls in porn and prostitution that have for many years been abused by family members, have experienced gang rapes, have live with carers who neglect their every need, have been mentally and sexually betrayed by a series of “boyfriends”, are runaways from a very young age, and so other ways to destroy their defences and deaden their emotions.

We must freeze the prostitution or woman in porn in a small moment where she appears happy and in control – and cut out her abusive past, ignores the pain and terror of her present, and not even imagine she has a future outside our fuck-moment – then maybe we can imagine prostitution is ok.

I am always amazed how much the mind has to be twisted to make prostitution acceptable.

What is so sad – is as the prostituted are being destroyed – we have invented an upside-down world that said the sex trade is normal.

It is such a heartless world.

There Are No Good Punters

Posted on by rmott62

The most common and dangerous myth is the belief that there must some punters somewhere who respect the prostituted.

This myth goes down into many prostituted women and girls, and its poison is slowly killing them – giving them the illusion of hope and then smashing it down into their face.

The good punter does not exist, has never existed, and there is no utopia where good punters can exist.

Look at the reason that so many on the outside of the sex trade wants – often in a desperate manner – to have the myth of the good punter.

It often comes from the place of deciding that prostitution must be normal sex, maybe on occasions slightly more kinky or slightly more dangerous. But always in the framing of it being a mutual business exchange.

In this framing, the good punter is respectful, does sex not to harm but as a sex playful game. In this framing, the good punter see the prostitute as a human and maybe as his equal.

In this framing, it is always sex that the outsider wants to imagine – sex with some risks, but always with an exit and safety.

It framed as just getting sex without the mess of a relationship, and the bonus of being paid.

I do not believe in that fantasy – it is the fantasy of world framed by Playboy and other posh porn propaganda.

It is the myth that prostitution can be made ok, if the punters acts like a gentleman or pay enough to make all their actions invisible.

I will be straight with you – there is no such thing as a good punter – don’t care how gentle he acts, don’t care how posh or famous he is, don’t care if he just talk or watches but doesn’t touch, don’t care if he get me nice clothes jewellery or trips abroad, don’t care if he said over and over and over he is just a good guy.

No man who make the conscious choice to buy another human for his sexual wants and greed can ever be classed as a good man.

He has made the choice to buy a sexual slave, he has made the choice to view her as a fuck-object and to robbed her of her humanity, he has made the choice to not care about her basic human rights.

All punters are rapists, all punters make the prostituted into goods, all punters know they have the right to pour all their porn-dreams into the prostituted.

Punters can never be good men.

It is the men who do not used or consumed the sex trade that are good, it is the men who listen and heard the voices of the prostituted that are good, it is the men who are fighting for abolition of the sex trade that are good.

By choosing to buy a prostitute, the punter is choosing to give up on compassion, give upon empathy, give up on his own self-respect – in many ways he is destroying himself as well the prostitute.

I can see that now – but when prostituted I could not believe in finding some good punter, for that small moment of hope made me too vulnerable.

Too often when you think a punter may care, may see you as a human, may be decent enough to stop – usually that is the moment when the punter see your trust, sense of hope and vulnerable soul – that is the moment he will smashed it up.

As a long-term prostitute, you get used to so much violence and hate that you are relieved at that others would call rape, battery or terror – knowing it could so much worse, you decide some acts are ok, even as they are destroying your essence.

I was always relieved when it was just vaginal rape – if most punters put their penises in my vagina and cum, they may stop and think that is enough.

It was always rape – I know and see that so clearly now – but it was not ripping apart my anus, it was not suffocating me as they deep-throated, it not forcing fists teeth and objects up me – it was just normal rape.

In my mind, in my determination to survive – I made punters who just wanted straight fucking into the good guys. They never were, but it was quicker and slightly less painful.

Then there are the punters who think they are good for they were gentle or just talked.

They were still buying goods, they were still turning the prostitute into a sub-human. They lie to themselves if they think that makes them the good guys.

I had punters who would slowly touch me all over – forcing my body into orgasms, forcing me to lose control and to think my body had betrayed me.

These punters love the power of me losing control, or forcing my body into multiple orgasms – they knew I did not want that, but they spoke of how I made them lose control or made them go too far.

These punters were slow and gentle – but it was always done to create pain and terror, only they loved to watched to see how long the pain would last, see if I fainted or screamed – I was a lab rat to these punters.

Those punters are still in my body memories. I hate them.

As for the talkers – it is a myth they are harmless and maybe pathetic.

Punters talk as mental violence. They use talking to wear the prostitute down in the hope she breaks down enough to speak of her private self.

Talkers will ask the prostitute endless personal questions, will talk to frame themselves as the victim in the hope the prostitute will break down and mother him. Talkers are manipulators – they are not innocent or pathetic.

I find it hard to live in a world where so many seek the good punter. This is the ultimate betrayal of the prostituted class – for in looking for the good punter, you are finding excuses for keeping prostitution being made normal.

As long as we make punters invisible or want to care about them – we are allowing that is ok to demand that a class named as the prostituted is made sub-human to be there for the mythical good punter.

 

 

On My List

Posted on by rmott62

Doing this blog has made have a list of ways and things that make clear that abolition is the only way forward for exited women.

My list is hap-hazard and on occasions very random, but it is a list made from the endless excuses, so-called reasons and traps put in the way of any sex trade abolitionist.

It is a list from thinking with a clearness, from talking with many exited women, from reading simple feminist views to the road to abolition, and from all the body memories telling no-one should ever one moment of that hell.

It is a list that attacks the lies, the myths, and the gas-lighting of those who would keep, profit or consume the sex trade.

I will write what is at the top of my head, in no particular order. My list is the backbone of my politics, of my fight and of my memory.

 

1. There is No Such Thing as Feminist Porn

To believe porn can be made feminist-friendly or empowering to women, is to wilfully misunderstand what porn is for women.

I don’t care if you decide there is certain of porn you can and will enjoy to consume or produce – it is never feminist.

Porn is founded on women-hating, on making the women inside the porn into consumable objects, into making the “sex” about pain and degradation.

I do not care if women make and sell the porn, I do not care if it framed as dyke porn, I do not care if it is sold as women of all ages and sizes. I do not care or believe all the propaganda that porn producers say and used to make a profit by getting feminists to be yet another market.

It is not erotica, which can fun and often sensual. It is not sexual education.

Porn is about making women into objects to abuse, to harm, to degrade and to make sub-human. There is nothing feminist about that.

Say the truth that you do not care that the women inside porn get harm – as long as you get an orgasm.

Don’t say the rubbish that it is feminist just coz it has lesbian sex and is produced by women.

2. Indoors Prostitution Can Never Be Made Safe

This myth is building a world where the genocide of the prostituted class is made normal – for all violence and hate is placed behind closed doors, and so invisible to the public gaze.

Indoors prostitution has always been the most common form of prostitution – for it makes more profit, and allows punters more freedom to be as sadistic as they want for as long as their money.

Indoors prostitution is founded on allowing violence to be its norm – and it always dealt with in-house or with officials who paid off to not see any harm.

Violence in indoors prostitution is as old as when the first of the prostituted class were put into buildings.

Being indoors is highly convenient for sex trade profiteers and for punters – but it is never about the welfare of the prostituted class.

Indoors prostitution can make huge profits for it places the prostitutes in one space, it provide access to any form sadistic sex with the goods/the prostitute.

Indoors prostitution is perfect for sadist punters for he has the right to be alone with his “whore” for a long period without outside interference or any judgement of his violence and hate.

He becomes a hero in his own mind as he destroys or humiliate the evil whore.

How can so many refuse to see the dangers of indoors prostitution – when most sadism done to the prostituted is always behind firmly closed doors.

Even when the prostitute is from the street – if a punter wants the “fun” of torturing and/or murdering her, he will take inside a building for the privacy and space to harm her long-term.

The vast majority of murders of prostituted everywhere are behind a closed doors.

And my experience of indoors prostitution – is most punters are buying to have the right to rape, to beat up, to mentally abuse, and to turn the prostitute into his fuck-goods – without any consequences or interference.

3. Money Doesn’t Buy Safety

An ugly myth is that so-called high-class prostitution is somehow safe.

In what universe, where do men with large amounts of money not think they have entitlement or can treat others with disrespect.

The experience of many escorts, women in brothels, or the so-called girlfriend experience is they may get large amounts of cash – but that money usually has a terrible price.

Men buy the prostitute to be his sex object, to fulfil his porn fantasy without regard to her safety or mental welfare.

Most punters used the prostitute as a sexual slave, or she is an inanimate object where only her holes and hands are of any importance.

Punters do not want a human – they want porn said is real, that all whores can be fucked beyond pain, can be fucked without humiliation, whores can be fucked to death and that is half the fun.

That is just a normal punter-mindset – now give that punter access to loads of money, and say his sadism will last longer, that he will not have access to harm many of the prostituted class, that he cannot hide his violence and hate by buying silence.

You will see that in most other fields where rich men are corrupt – but with the sex trade, it suddenly become some kind of Richard Gere scenario if a rich man buys prostitutes.

Well, I live with the body memories, the sickness, the trauma of being brought by rich punters.

These punters can and did fulfil all their sick porn-dream into my mind and body. I do not know how I stayed alive from their “games” of sexual torturing.

I know rich punters know there will no consequences for their complete contempt of the prostituted.

These are the punters who go to be sex tourists and rip apart women and children’s lives just so they conquer through sex.

These are the punter who collect many “whores”, making sick list of the sexual violence he put into her – always making out he is some kind of sex god.

They are the punters that buy girlfriend experience so he can own her not for his porn-sex, but to dig into her mind and eat away at any privacy she has to have to survive.

Most rich punters have full permission to torture the prostitute, for his status and money is more important than her basic human rights and dignity.

Stop letting those rich bastards destroying so many of the prostituted class.

This is a very short list – tons more to include – but it makes angry, and then pain come.

So stop for now.

Just My View

Posted on by rmott62

After my post, I was asked for advice about how to be with exited women, and what more can done to forward the movement to full abolition.

I do not have easy answers, in many ways the answers are already inside you – it just means reaching into your heart and knowing with every cell of your body that the prostituted class, whether in the sex trade or exited, are fully human.

But for many that is the hardest step of all not othering the prostituted, not in the back of your subconscious thinking that the prostituted are goods, are sub-human – and cannot or do not have normal human reactions and emotions.

I know you may think or want to believe I am being harsh in writing that – but in this post I say the constant betrayals and the constant reminders of being sub-human, that those who should be on the prostituted side do and say.

I do this from a place of love, but also from a heartache from at least 3000 years of the prostituted class being pushed away and made invisible.

I want to know that the prostituted may the longest complaint of physical, mental and sexual torture being made their norm of any group of humans ever.

The prostituted woman or girl has been raped, has been beaten up, has been thrown away, has been silenced, and has been murdered – from the first caveman who found he could away with sexual violence by exchanging goods with the one he raped.

Prostitution has always be normal violence and degradation as long as early man discover he could just rape without consequences, but he could gain more goods by passing her round other men.

That was the invention of the prostitution – founded in male sexual greed, male desire for goods, male love of violence to women, male want to degrade in a sexual manner.

It is simple – but to keep prostitution going and to make normal in all forms of culture, all types of societies, in all periods of history – those who back the sex trade will claim it is complicated.

Always to make it seemed complex – the blame is placed on the prostituted, and the punters and profiteers become invisible.

If you keep your eye only the prostituted woman or girl – if it all about her individual history, if it just whether she poor or not, is just what type of prostitute she is, if it become just about her protecting herself – you are completely missing out prostitution is and nothing will ever change for the better.

For no individual prostituted woman or girl has any real power or control inside the sex trade – it does matter how “high-class” she appears.

If we constantly make the profiteers and punters invisible, and allow them to carry on destroying the prostituted class – we are part of the genocide of the prostituted class.

So my major advice to help all of the prostituted – is to always keep your focus on the real problem – that is that men make the conscious decision to buy and sell the prostituted class for huge and outrageous profit, for sexual greed and hate, to have a class of women and girls that can be degraded and tortured without consequences.

It is an issue of males using their power and control to create the prostituted class into sub-humans.

It cuts across all male political systems – brothels are common in capitalist nations and so-called socialist countries. All male religious structures find excuses for there being a prostituted class. In every male war, there is provision of prostitutes for rest and recreation.

It is a fact that the vast majority of punters are male – it is a fact that most male prostitutes are viewed as women to be abused by these punters.

Prostitution is an issue of male violence and hate – stop annoying the elephant in the room.

I hear so many ways to make excuses for those male profiteers and punters.

There is old and regular European/American guilt – it just a problem of the capitalist system, and ignoring that prostitution is common in all left-wing political systems – all so-called equal societies have an underbelly of the prostituted class. It may be hidden indoors – but I do not know of any political system that does not gain from having the prostituted class.

Don’t have rose-tainted glasses just coz you want to believe that one male political system could better than another – as long the prostituted are being fucked to death under a red or blue flag, you are part of their genocide.

Do not fall for simple and quick answers to control prostitution – must are invented by sex trade profiteers and made into language to please liberals, the Left and Feminism.

A classic is the constant push to put prostitution indoors. This will framed as being about the dignity, safety and rights of the prostituted. It will framed inside the language of labour, or the guilt-trip feminist language of women empowerment and liberation.

It is classic gas-lighting, don’t be duped.

Indoors prostitution is a money-spinner, the profits are huge – especially when there is a constant turn-over of the goods.

Indoors prostitution is nothing to do with the safety and welfare of the prostituted – they are nothing but fuck-goods to be used and then thrown away.

Indoors prostitution is great for punters for they can any sadistic porn fantasy onto the prostituted – with no regard to her safety or mental welfare, knowing it will made invisible and there no consequences for him.

If you support indoors prostitution – you will be part of the genocide of the prostituted class.

I want you to be aware this is urgent – as you read prostitutes are dying and their lives are made invisible.

Yes challenge all hate-speech about the prostituted class, yes tell about the conditions for the prostituted, yes fight to put the voices of exited women in the fore-front of the abolitionist movement.

But if you really want to destroy the sex trade – keep your focus on the male hate and mate greed that is the backbone of the sex trade.

A Plea From the Depths of My Heart

Posted on by rmott62

This post is written through trauma, from the place of deep grief, from the place of extreme body memories.

This post is written as a plea, as a scream of the exited woman who is sick of being strong, sick of always being nice and reasonable, sick of acting tough.

This post is a scream – a scream from the soul of my teenage/young adulthood – a scream to say I refuse to be brave, to be calm, to be afraid to express my utter despair.

I write this post for I know the vast majority of those who read this blog have a good heart – a heart that would reach out to exited women when they hit the blank wall of despair.

But I want to write to my anger, write to my pain, write to my deep despair.

I want to those who read my words – but do little or nothing practical to help exited women, those who hold in the victim-role so they can walk away.

I have found that speaking out as a exited woman, every day I reminded that I was and am sub-human just because it involved money and constant torture.

It seemed if you are raped by men in the hundreds or thousands, and if that is framed as a business exchange or work, it is not that bad – as I suppose the prostituted class get used to being raped.

I get angry as women campaign against rape in war – but it is not all women that count. There is little or no demand to close down army brothels, no questioning of armed forces or peacekeepers having access to the sex trade as rest and recreation.

Not all women and girls count – when we always framed the prostituted as sub-humans. Then all men in all wars can rape, batter and murder the prostitute – just never harm “real” women and girls.

I get angry that I can phone anti-sexual violence lines, and it will be pot-luck whether I am asked stupid questions or made to feel sub-human.

I have spoken to help-lines – and heard myths that have almost destroy me.

Made to feel I must have wanted it – didn’t you take the money. Asked why I just didn’t walk out. Told if it really was that violent, I would be dead then. Told endlessly as I was not poor I was not a real prostitute. Asked how men actually raped you. And endless rubbish to send me back to being sub-human.

This is said by women who campaign and fight male violence – but are dismissive of the grief and pain of the prostituted.

If we do not fit their pre-conceived boxes of what a prostitute is – then we cannot and do not exist.

I am proud to speak out and to write this blog – but in doing that I put myself into the front-line of the vicious attacks of the sex trade lobby.

I am sick of the lack of real protection and support that amazing exited women get when they speak truth to power.

We are mostly abandoned and left to cope on your own.

To survive the sex trade, we have no choice but to be strong, we have had to grow a very tough personality.

Yes we have survived often degrees of torture on every level that is hard to imagine. To survive that hell, we have had to be resourceful and able to make our paths to some kind of a future.

But see, know and take into your hearts – that we were not just raped, not just threatened with death, not justliving with extreme mental violence, not just beaten up – we were tortured so often and in such a matter-of-fact way that we were made sub-human.

Being made sub-human, makes us perform as tough, perform as strong, perform as if it not that bad really.

If you really cared and have a heart – you would know it is a performance, and look deeper and find the essence of so many exited women.

You know and see that all her toughness is a cover for her deep fear and vulnerability.

Many of you are non-prostituted, have more than likely been sexually abused or raped.

You expect that it will send you into shock, that it will make you both physically and mentally ill, that it alters the way you see your relationships and the world, that you may worry about STDs or being pregnant.

Most feminists will factor all that in with child abuse or rape – but too many changed the rules for the prostituted class.

Maybe being raped by punters in the thousands mean it somehow becomes unimportant – or at least it becomes invisible.

There is little interest in the realities of how the prostituted react to living in hell.

Prostitutes often do not have time or space for shock after male violence.

It hard to have shock after sexual torture, when there are more punters paying to be your next torturer.

Shock is a luxury that most prostitutes cannot even imagine.

It is hard to care about the multiple injuries done to your body and mind when you are prostituted. Hard when in an environment where sex trade profiteers ignore all injuries, and sent straight back into being fuck-goods. Hard when many punters enjoy seeing or causing those injuries.

Injuries are just the norm – only place to send them is to gallows humour.

To be honest, for many prostitutes injuries, diseases or pregnancy are dealt with in-house, when I worked indoors there were pimp-vouched doctors to patch us up and get back to make yet more profit.

We were not humans, we were goods – so we were fixed, but not looked after.

Know that being raped in prostitution is never personal, being beaten up in prostitution is never personal, being murdered as a prostitute is never personal.

To the violent punter or pimp, it is not a human they are destroying, it just goods they are trashing.

See that and you are near the heart of why there can never be a good side to prostitution.

Don’t see that and you keep the prostituted as sub-human – and you are part of the problem.

Why I am Finding I Have Hit a Block

Posted on by rmott62

I am finding that writing this blog is scaring me.

I am finding that writing this blog is making my body remember all the torture that punters put into me.

I am finding I am ill, when nothing is physically wrong with me.

I read that Andrea Dworkin knew that writing to the truth is the most painful thing a woman can do to herself.

I also know from every cell in my body to not write would send me back into the deadness of being prostituted.

Writing to the truth is not just my work – it is my mission.

I turn on Spotify and find Hits of Dusty Springfield – music I know by heart – and then maybe I will write to the blocking of my truths.

I will say with gratitude and amazement at the loyalty and kindness of so many who read this blog – there are too many to name, but know I hold you in my heart as fear, pain and grief is in me.

I was thrown backwards by the callousness and relentless attacks by the pro-sex trade lobby.

Yes, I will come out strong, I will show them up for who they really.

I will state loud and in a clear voice – that the attackers of the sex trade are pimps, punters and all those who benefit from the status quo of the sex trade.

Stop thinking it is just trolls, just bored individuals – look with a clear eye how exited women are attacked.

If we dared to speak out in many voices, if we even have the appearance of having some connection – the sex trade lobby come down on us like a ton of bricks.

Look how all their arguments, points and views are always the same – like only a few people are writing them, or it a pre-planned script.

See how it is relentless – as if they were funded by say the sex trade with its endless bundles of cash, as if they can pay people to trawl the net for anything that exited women may say however light-hearted.

Look how cruel and without a heart it always is – say it could be written in pimp- or punter-language.

Then tell me it not a pre-planned attack to silenced all exited women.

Tell me if you were in the skin of an exited woman, that it would not scare you or shake you up.

Remember it is not just words to us.

We have been struck in rooms, on the streets – with punters verbally attacking us until we cannot hear their words any more.

We know that as punters mentally abuse us – they will rape us or beat us up, they may leave us to died if they want to.

We cannot always laugh at the words of punters – for our bodies and minds have known their hate and violence.

We know who and what pimps are.

They may call themselves – businessmen, independent escorts, providing tantric sex, drivers, bodyguards, friends of sex workers, a madam or whatever other label that hide the word pimp.

We know a pimp through their words, through their lack of compassion, through their desire to control and always have the last word, through their desire to gas-light us or those who believe us.

We know pimps are furious with all exited women for exposing their hate and violence – for showing them up as manipulators and liars.

We have every reason to fear the pimp in all his/her guises – we will fight them, but we could do with real support.

We need women who were not prostituted, but support abolition to see who and what pimps are.

They are not the few men on the streets in 70’s gears with their girls – through some of them may be pimps.

They are not the cartoon image from some music video – those some of them may be pimps.

No the danger of the pimp is how invisible they are, and how legitimate they have become.

Many are businessmen in suits and behind some desks – they will gather the money from destroying prostituted women and girls in a detached manner. These pimps do not get their hands dirty, they want to be seen as ordinary business folks – think they are more moral than a banker say.

Pimps can be women who will play on the guilt or confusion of the Left and feminists by saying they are just an escort, just a happy hooker, just an ordinary whore.

Only look with a clear eye and you see they may run a brothel, may control a escorting firm – these women are the management class. They are pimps.

For they speak the language of the pimp.

They speak to exited women as goods that must be controlled.

They will gas-light us, they will say we must be damaged or mentally ill, they say we were just unlucky, they dismiss all our words as lies.

Dig deeper and find how these women quickly trips themselves up.

They say things about how working for them would be safe, they speak nice about punters and dismiss the welfare of the prostituted, they put up new-age rubbish of prostitution being like a goddess or other made-up spiritual crap, they romanised the past without any evidence, they speak endlessly of the mythical Happy Hooker.

Dig deeper and find their heart is made of ice.

They throw exited women away, saying they are mad, bad, liars and hate real prostitutes.

If you choose to believe these pimps – you are deeply betraying all of the prostituted.

It is then I hit a block – the block of despair that yet again the prostituted class is abandoned, and yet again we have fight for our basic human rights on our own.

Of course, I know and are proud to be with the few non-prostituted women and men that get it, and are fighting with us for true justice and abolition.

But there are many who appear to get it – but do very little practical to help the prostituted fight the constant hate-speech from the sex trade lobby.

The words of sex trade lobby is all over Facebook, is inside comments on exited women’s blogs, and is wherever exited women dare to write to the truth.

Do you challenge this hate-speech as you would racism, anti-gay comments, or other comment celebrating violence to women and girls? Or do just let it go by, for you have decided that the prostituted do not get hurt or damaged by such hate – for we are too sub-human to have ordinary human emotions.

Am I being harsh? – Well maybe waiting for the Left and the majority of feminism to take seriously that it is hate-speech and to take seriously that it is an organised attack by the sex trade – has wound me down from being always nice who those do nothing but say – oh it must be hard.

I am sick of always being nice – when my beloved sisters and companions are getting slowly ground down.

The less you can do is to challenge the pimp- and punter- language when you come across it – whether in the computer you use, whether in the media you consume, whether in the entertainment you want, or whether said by those you thought were your friends.

Yes that is hard and will confront many emotions in you.

But you are not going to be made sub-human by a pimp or punter. You have not been raped, beaten and live with death as the exited woman has.

Please if you truly believe in abolition – stand up to the sex trade lobby and its hate-speech.

It helps to de-block me.

Horse-Spirit

Posted on by rmott62

Many years ago I was told I had a horse-spirit.

To very honest, I still had very little understanding of the deep meaning of that – but a certain aspect hits home with me.

That is that my horse-spirit cannot and will not be tied in, it will run away rather than been imprisoned.

My horse-spirit demands freedom and the ability to roam in spirit, with her mind, and never again to be tethered into hate and violence.

It is my horse-spirit that pushing this blog forward.

It pushes it forward when the hate-speech of the pro-sex lobby demands my silence.

As they gas-light me, as they lie about the realities of indoors prostitution, as they push forward the myth of the Happy Hooker – as they threaten me inside their honey words.

My horse-spirit begins to kick out, to rear in anger and despair, she sweats with rage.

I feel the power of freedom as my attackers speak in their pimp-language.

With a power from knowing how they had imprisoned my free spirit – I see the pro-sex trade lobby for what they are.

They are not sad and lonely trolls, they are just misinformed or misguided about the realities of indoors, they are rarely if ever women who are prostituted – they are not innocent.

I know who they are – and in that knowledge I stand my ground.

I know most if not all of those who attack exited women that speak out are pimps, punters or others who benefit from the status quo of putting prostitution indoors.

My horse-spirit carries this knowledge and smashing down with my words to stamp them out.

My horse-spirit see with a clear eye the punters who write to shut me up.

These are the men that say – “I have a friend who is a punter – he is a decent man.”

They say – “I see sex workers as my friend – sometimes we don’t even have sex.”

They say – “Not all men are violent – god, you just hate men don’t you.”

They say – “We need a release – stop rape don’t it?”

These punters say many words, many feeble excuses, many justifications, many bigging themselves up. These punters are boring and deeply repetitive.

These punters are damned lucky I no interest in them, else my horse-spirit would rear up and crash down on them with its hooves.

Each time a punter makes the choice to write to me and to other exited women, he is making the wrong and very stupid choice.

I know punters want to believe that we are still that sex object they could manipulate and destroy. I know punters believe that all prostituted women and girls should know their place – that place being fucked until they don’t know whether they are alive or dead.

We are no longer their sex toys – no, we have changed and now in anger and grief we can turn on to punters – now, inside memory and some fear we can tear apart all the justifications, excuses and lies that punters live by.

It is part of my horse-spirit running towards the wide open plains of real freedom.

I stand and face those punters who dare invade my work of being an abolitionist.

I do not have to nice with men who have made the choice to buy other humans for their sexual greed and wants.

I do not have to believe that men who are capable of buying the prostituted will not be violent to the prostitute, will not rape the prostitute, will not kill the prostitute – I know just buying another human is an act of violence in itself.

I will and do censor all the whining voices, the threatening voices, the “I’m just a nice guy” voices – all those tedious voices of punters are very easy to recognise and send straight into spam.

Punters hate exited women for we are uncontrollable – we are wild horses that will kill their voices.

This blog and my work elsewhere is under fairly relentless attacks from pimps – or as they see themselves business folks, independent escorts who just happened to own brothels or escorting firms, and any other word that does not say “pimp”.

But my horse-spirit sees through all their honey or threatening words, see the mechanisms of pimp-language, see their desire to control and manipulate me, see their ability to push my buttons into self-hate.

My horse-spirit knows these pimps are more than trying to silence exited women, these pimps used their language to wipe us not just from writing and speaking out – but their purpose is to wipe us off the face of earth.

I want all those who believe these attackers are just trolls, just a nasty individual – to know and take on board that is what the sex trade wants you to believe.

These attacks are highly organised, these attacks are funded and planned by the sex trade profiteers.

They have the money, the time and the power to be as patient, as relentless, as cruel as they like.

These pimps know how to gas-light, how to manipulate, how to make themselves look like the victim, how to be vicious and then say it just a game.

These pimps will say exited women are too damaged to know their own truths, they bring out for display the Happy Hooker, they will say it is safer indoors, they will use the language of unions and empowerment.

These pimps have learnt the language of feminism and the Left, and will used that to emotionally blackmail.

Learn to see through their lies, their manipulation of your good will. Stop being a sucker for the pimps.

Do not be fooled that it is safer indoors – just use your imagination and be that prostitute who shut in a room alone with a punter/punters.

Imagine the isolation, imagine that the only people around are either being prostituted or are there to stop you from leaving.

Imagine the fear, fear of never knowing if the punter will be sadistic or just want straight sex.

Imagine the pain – pain as sexual violence is repeated over and over and over and over in your body, and all you can do is act as if you are happy.

How can it ever safe indoors when the punter is paying to own and control the prostitute?

But the pimps voices will find any weakness in you to say it just entertainment, just sex work, just part of male leisure.

My horse-spirit wants to run to the hills as you choose to believe the pimps, and dismiss the words of exited women.

See pimps as the liars that they are, and with exited women challenge their power until it is destroyed.

My horse-spirit must rest now.

But never stop believing in exited women.

Deep Grief

Posted on by rmott62

I am finally coming into grief, I am finally coming into life, I am finally getting to the beginning of being fully human.

Grief is terrible, but it may one of the most life-affirming emotions I know.

Deep grief is the showing the reality of what was taken from me, deep grief is knowing there was times in my life I could do nothing to protect myself except stay alive.

Deep grief is feeling inside every cell of your body what punters do to a non-human named as the prostitute.

Deep grief is knowing that killing your own humanity and having no space for dignity may have been a reason those punters choose not to bother to kill you.

Deep grief is a screaming that cannot and will be silenced, only no-one hears it.

Deep grief is a constant feeling of wanting to rip out your skin, want to pull the pain in my anus, vagina and throat.

Deep grief is going to the doctor and told nothing physically wrong – and then the pain is worse and nothing calms it down.

Deep grief is knowing you do not know how much you were raped, how many times you were beaten, knowing you viewed gang rape as a constant threat, and knowing anal rape was your norm.

Deep grief is attempting to repair the body after that – only knowing it will always leaves you with holes and gaps.

Deep grief is accepting that you will always have disjointed memory.

Deep grief is always there when there is no true justice.

That is deep grief – or parts of it.

I know it wonderful or it is giving me back my life.

The Coffee and Condoms Brigade

Posted on by rmott62

For many it is considered that handing out condoms and doing some chat about drug use is enough to deal with prostitution.

It is not, and never will good enough.

The coffee and condoms brigade keep the prostituted as sub-humans, even if they might do out of kindness or sheer naivety.

But on occasions these so-called kind people are just playing the game to please sex trade profiteers and continue the endless supply to punters.

I want you to look with a clear eye why that is so.

It is so because by just providing condoms, and having brief chats about drugs – it is not about knowing the prostitute as full human.

It is not in-depth for then it might heard that she is not happy in prostitution. It is not in-depth in case the prostitute said or show injuries condoms can do nothing about.

But mostly it is not in-depth, coz then it may be impossible to just patch up the prostitute and send straight back to a fuck-machine.

Keep it on the surface level, then you imagine you have done a good deed, but not have to worry about the prostitute as a full human being.

Also, think more about why think that condoms is some kind of solution to prostitution.

Do you really think that prostitution is just vaginal sex – and all the prostitute has to worry about is HIV and getting pregnant? Do really think that punters pay just to do “normal” sex or missionary position?

Are you really that ignorant?

Boy, I did indoors prostitution for round 13 years, and it very rare that punters pay to fuck my cunt.

To be honest, it was kind of relief if was just did that type of rape – for may be the only thing they do and it is relatively quick.

Most punters pay to do sex that they believed “real” women would not do.

In other words, punters pay to sexually torture and rape the prostitute, usually fuelled by the latest fad in porn.

Prostitutes have their anuses and vaginas ripped apart, prostitutes are choked by strangling and deep-throated, prostitutes have many injuries from being bashed up.

What the does any condom do about that?

Also having multiple violent sex will and does give the prostitutes extreme trauma.

Does a condom protect the mind?

Could it be the condom is more for the punter – so he gets no “nasty” diseases as he make the choice to paid to rape.

And more important, it may keep hidden if he a regular rapist of the prostituted – for he does give his partner any sexual diseases.

Condoms are great for sex trade profiteers – for his goods do have the inconvenient of being ill or getting pregnant.

But the coffee and condom brigade often live in a fantasy world.

They believe that all punters will wear a condom, and a prostitute can with ease get a reluctant punter to put one on.

Now, you try getting a punter who has brought you to put on a condom if he does want to.

Remember by buying a prostitute, the punter will know he owns her, and he can and will rid her of all human rights, including the rights to her own personal safety.

Remember most punter who refuse to put on a condom are highly likely to be mentally, physically and sexually violent to the prostitute.

And remember it of no issue to him whether she gets ill or pregnant – for she is a non-person to the punter.

Now tell me how you would persuade him to put on a condom.

In my experience, my wanting to live is more important that getting the condom on.

What really makes me furious about the coffee and condom brigade is how they run away from indoors prostitution.

They leave those prostituted women and girls to rot.

If they do venture into indoors prostitution, they ask permission from sex trade profiteers to go in.

They give those profiteers the time and space to clear all under-aged prostituted, who prostitutes with visible injuries, all prostitutes who appeared to be trafficked – leaving behind the prostitutes who have learnt to speak the language of the profiteers and can smile when nearly dead.

It is easy to just pass round coffee and condoms in that environment – there be no uncomfortable talk of rape, no questioning of whether there is consent or not – not when all the speech is of choice.

It is a deep betrayal to the millions of the prostituted who living in hell in indoors prostitution.

Coffee and condoms is never enough.