Monthly Archives: December 2013

A Warm Christmas to My Readers

Posted on by rmott62

I want to thank each and every one of my readers, especially the most loyal ones – and most special of all those who have survived the sex trade.

Without you support and love, I may have given up to my pain and grief a long time ago.

I am amazed at how open so many of you are with, how many of you make the choice to be vulnerable.

I am deeply honoured at you ability at your trust and faith in me. Please know in the New Year I will more effort to be privately in touch with exited women who want me to.

I do so now, but because of my own trauma is has slowed down to an almost stop – please know I would never abandoned any who is strong enough and so brave to be open with me, especially in public comments.

Know your honestly, your ability to want to see the prostituted beyond pre-conceived stereotypes is teaching me and making my blog stronger.

I do have major issues with some readers.

I know that many of pro-sex trade lobby read me in order to find ways to destroy my views.

I know the pro-sex trade have and will mis-quote me to make appear a victim, to make it seemed I have brainwashed by radical feminists, will use my words to say I may be highly damaged but most of the prostituted are happy.

I feel their poison, I do print their hate and propaganda – I will not those who think and act like pimps to control me or any other exited woman again.

I know many so-called allies do and will steal my words and concepts with the common decency to credit me or even acknowledge my existence.

I sick and tired of giving them power by ignoring their actions, and smiling as they send back into being made sub-human.

I would ignore if was just to me as an individual – but I know and see it is done all the powerful exited women who are now abolitionists.

It done by those who should be allies – by the anti-trafficking lobby, by radical feminists, by academics who claim to be feminists or anti-sex trade etc.

We are made into house slaves, who should happy we on occasions seen enough to have our stolen, who should be grateful that we may saved – but never allow to be human enough to be speaking to our own freedom.

We have had enough of being patronised and only used to further your movements.

I cannot understand how so many groups that believe in separatism for the oppressed – will not allow the prostituted class to lead and have a separate voice in the abolition.

I do not understand how abolition can ever succeed if those who inside knowledge and experiences of the sex trade are kept silenced and controlled.

We are sick of only be used as the token exited woman – of too often it like you find about three separate voices of exited women, and then decide you understand know everything there is to know about the sex trade.

No – there are multiple and varied strong voices of exited women out there – and every day there are more speaking out.

Be more humble, be more inquisitive, and find that part of being an abolitionist is learning something new each day from exited women.

I know I never stop learning from my exited Sisters – whether in the present or the long history of our silenced voices, whether from my background or the multiple cultures/backgrounds my exited Sisters come from.

I will never stop wanting to be taught by my exited Sisters – why can you not open your hearts and minds to truly hear and know the depth of knowledge that exited women have.

It would a wonderful Christmas gift if you put aside your egos and let exited women have leadership in the abolition movement.

We are already doing so much with or without your permission.

 

Business as Usual

Posted on by rmott62

I have built myself a life where I have learnt to love Christmas.

But always I carry the knowledge that there is no Christmas for the prostituted class – unless it dressed-up Christmas porn or Christmas extras in indoors prostitution.

I used to be dead at Christmas – so now I let it in.

I let in joy.

I let in tears.

I let in my loved ones.

I let Christmas telly.

I let in eating and drinking.

I let my prostituted soul know that Christmas can be her’s.

It is my present to her for somehow staying alive.

Present to her or somehow keeping her sanity.

And my present to her for gradually learning she is safe, and be part of me.

I think Christmas has always been loved by me – even as punters did their damn-est to rip it away from me.

I always have had the child’s wonder at the simple beauty of the concept of Christmas.

I knew as I turning into ice – that there was hope.

I had no idea how to reach.

I came to assume I was too “bad”, too sub-human and too damaged to reach that hope – but Christmas each year planted a seed that maybe hope would find me.

I have never believe in god – always knew that the spirit that may called hope is inside each of us.

Only every rape, every words of hate, every beating up, every attempt to murder me, and every act of torture was making hope get more and more lost.

I could let in Christmas when I was in that world, Christmas meant too much to me for me to open up to it.

Though I did become a Quaker – I did cry at King’s College Choir – I did go on occasion find myself at Midnight Mass.

I never lost my need and want that I could belong inside Christmas.

I wanted the innocent that would love Christmas lights, innocent that is excited on December 24th, innocent that will watch same films again with tears in my eyes.

I wanted so semen on and in me, no money being used to make rape into consent, no being locked in room/s as a man/men sexually me, no being told it is a gift from Santa as pain and blood flows from me.

I wanted that sense of joy of presents given or received, sense of joy that I watch Dr Who again, sense of joy as I speak with loved relatives on the phone.

Not the grief of waking in a room with my aching and screaming with the same-old sadist violence, not the grief of knowing what it is to be brought and sold.

There was and is no day/night off for the prostituted class.

Rape carries on as normal, male violence is extreme as normal – only difference is it meant to be “special treat” for the punters.

So the prostitute must smile even harder, must boost the punter’s ego for longer, must ignore the pain or near-death experience – for Christmas she must provide him with his extra-special present.

No matter she is sick to her stomach, no that she may not be able to breathe, no matter if she is bleeding, no matter that she is made to hate herself.

If the punter is happy, he may over-pay her, and then the sex trade profiteer will be happy.

So Christmas is spread out as she is dying.

Somehow, for unknown reason – I still wanted to believe in Christmas.

Now, as I have learnt to re-build my own Christmas, I am learning I was right to never lose my simple wanting to have such innocence, such joy and such belief in hope.

I can now can eat and drink knowing it will be used to manipulate me.

I can now watch Christmas TV with no punter determining my attention, and punishing me if I dare not make the centre of universe.

I can now eat chocs without pimps or punters saying I am fat too gross to be fucked.

I can now look at Christmas lights without the dread of what the night will be, or the male whispers asking me how much.

Now I am alive enough to love Christmas.

Christmas is now inside my heart.

Do Not Steal

Posted on by rmott62

I want to write about some acts done mainly by those who call themselves allies of exited women, but by these acts prove they have no respect for us.

It is the act of stealing our work, and making it their own.

It is the act of making us into your pet exited woman, only to throw us away when spoke for you.

It is the act of deciding what you think is a “real” exited woman, and ignoring that we can and will never fit that stereotype.

It the act of holding us back by constantly imaging you have invented how to do abolition, or have discover that the sex trade may be a bad thing.

It is the act of using our concepts, our histories and our deep knowledge to further your career or to make you like you are on the side of the angels.

I want to say that many exited women have had enough of your patronising disrespect.

You are acting to control us. 

You are erasing the centuries of exited women leading the revolt towards abolition by your acts.

You are showing you view exited women as having feelings that can be betrayed by your acts.

Your acts are a remainder of how pimps and punters treated us.

If you erase, ignore or steal our work – you do so because you like a pimp/punter refuse to see exited women as fully human.

We can never be human enough to have your respect.

Never be human enough for our words to belong us, for it must be filtered through you to be heard.

We can never be human enough to lead the way to true freedom for the prostituted class.

Know that I write to say that exited women are sick of being made sub-human.

If you steal our concepts, histories and knowledge then you see as just intellectual goods for you to consume.

We become nothing but statistics, case studies, or token speakers.

It is like being in a line-up in a brothel – we are never seen or known just consumed.

I want all allies to look deep inside themselves – whether you in the anti-trafficking movement, radical feminists, Leftists, or religious types – and ask yourselves –

Do you read or listen to exited women only as an example or material to use later?

Do you decide that I know all the factors that drive girls/women into the sex trade, and will not hear if an exited does fit in the boxes you have made?

Do you think you are the only generation that knows that prostitution/porn may be a human rights issue?

Do you still think exited women are too damaged to be able to speak without you sheltering them? 

Do in your silent moments think that the prostituted class are outside of what it is to be human like you are?

I know you will reject these questions, or take the easy route of saying it those other allies not us.

I believe a true ally of exited women would not be afraid of these questions or angered by – but would feel the pain and grief that makes me asks so bluntly. 

Allies that can be trusted have no issue with knowing exited women must lead the abolition movement.

Allies who can be trusted will always credit our words and works.

Allies who can be trusted understand that exited women are a massive source of knowledge of how and why male violence is so normal.

There are many trusted allies, that we very proud to work alongside with – for they know that all the prostituted class are fully human.

Being fully human we have multiple ways or reasons that enter the sex trade.

Being fully human we survive being inside the sex trade in both similar and varied ways.

Being fully human we may all have PTSD, but we may react in multiple ways.

Being fully human we cannot be forced in a box made of your stereotypes.

Give us respect.

The respect of knowing we speak from our own pasts – but are also deeply connected to centuries of the lost voices of the prostituted class reaching for  freedom.

The respect of hearing us speaking from our own culture and experiences – but are deeply connected to all the prostituted class known or unknown to us.

The respect of not seeing us as victims or tokens – but that we are warriors and have leadership inside our skin.

The respect of learning to humble enough to truly listen and hear the multiple voices of the prostituted class.

Then you could imagine stealing our words. 

 

Laws are Nothing Without Enforcement

Posted on by rmott62

I fully backed the Nordic Approach – but what I question with  sorrow is whether many countries are having good laws to protect the prostituted, but there is very evidence of serious enforcement.

This breaks my hearts – it makes me wept to the wind.

To have little or no enforcement of laws against the punters is sending a terrible message to the prostituted class – it is saying we are not worthy of simple human rights.

It is saying we are not human enough to deserve or need the human rights such as the right to safety, the right to human dignity, the right to autonomy.

We are passed off with pieces of paper, and told to be grateful for that.

Well, I am tired of being grateful for being thrown out bread after you have finished your feast.

I want to question why it is considered good enough to just fine punters?

Why is it made ok that there few or no arrests?

How can you celebrate when so many punters just across borders to buy the prostituted?

Why are we happy with laws full of loop-holes?

All too often punters have no fear of being at the least shamed in public, or fined a lot of money – no, punters soon learn if they just use a computer or go to indoors prostitution, they can carry on as normal.

My heart is broken knowing the majority of prostituted can little change – just outsiders celebrating as their tortures continue.

I personally need solid proof that many many punters have been arrested and received heavy fines – that the enforcement is serious, and not just a show horse.

But there need to far more than just fines and shaming of punters – these men need to know that imprisonment may happened.

I cannot understand why we are happy with just fines – is it because the prostituted are not human enough to have real crimes  committed against.

The average and ordinary will be a rapist – usually a serial rapist.

Most punters will torture the prostituted, often at the extreme end of torturing.

Many punters beat up the prostituted, causing GBH normally.

These are vicious crimes, crimes that pre-planned and done in cold blood.

But it is considered that a fine is good enough to tell off the punter for being a bad man.

This is highly insulting to the prostituted class – telling us we cannot human enough to know real rape, to understand what real violence is.

We should stop complaining and saying punters should be in jail – do we have no gratitude?

This is very short post, coz I feeling ill with heartache.

End Slavery

Posted on by rmott62

Today the UN has said is the International Day of the Slave – which as an exited woman I find quite ironic as the same institution is pushing prostitution indoors and fighting to make it legal.

The UN is turning away from the conditions of slavery that is life or almost all the prostituted.

The UN is turning away from a form of slavery that affects all countries, all societies – a form of slavery that may be the oldest form of oppression known, a form of slavery that destroys more women and girls than any other form of male violence.

It is a slavery that is made invisible, a slavery that if named is framed as a form of male leisure or sex work.

No one can say out loud and in a clear voice – that prostitution in of itself is the conditions of slavery.

That is silenced, ridiculed and made to be lost as others shout it must be a choice, it isn’t that bad, if you don’t like it you must be a prude.

This silencing is forced down the throats of the brave exited women who speak out and say in a clear voice – we were slaves, we will fight so no other human is enslaved as we were.

Silencing take many forms – although it does tend to be very repetitive and usually highly predictable.

Silencing comes from many quarters – including those who claimed to be allied of exited women – though most of the loudest silencing is from men and women who gain from the status quo of the sex trade.

To be an exited woman who fight for total abolition is have hate, ignorance, desire to control, and death threats as the norm.

Most who send this silencing and hate have the minds of pimps and punters – so I can and do see through their words.

I see enough to never punish or promote their hate – I know they are just attempting to control me and make sub-human again.

There is no interest in discussion or real debate – that only happens when there is some sense of equality or at the least a recognition that both parties are fully human.

There is no way that those with a punter/pimp mentality would ever considered that exited women are human – no we are seen as disobedient goods that they must control.

Do not be fooled if they use honey words, or claim to be concern for the mental welfare of exited women – don’t believe that is empathy or compassion – no it is the puppet-master speaking to his sex doll.

All debate/discussion created by these silencers is designed to force exited back into self-hate or to return to the sex trade.

It is just the anger of the slave-master that slaves dares to have humanity and to speak the language of human rights.

How can the UN follow the words of the slave-masters, and ignore any testimonies from the prostituted.

Does the UN really think that the prostituted are too sub-human to deserve or be given access to human rights?

That is the despair I have on this day.

Please hear the cry of the slaves that you call the prostituted – do not let our cries disappear into the wind.