Monthly Archives: March 2014

Grief and Memory

Posted on by rmott62

My last post had to cut short coz grief is the thing I to see and hold in my heart.

Grief from knowledge of torture is so near to impossible to hold – I can only stay safe if my amazing supporters prayer, hold me or keep me deep in their thoughts.

This is not my grief, it is the grief of all who managed to exit the sex trade.

It a grief that knows the unbearable, a grief that conflates memory and linear time, a grief of knowing parts of our being was stolen and trashed by the sex trades.

We live with trauma – mostly we live with such extreme trauma it is the heightened levels of long-term torture victims, and higher than most soldiers who been in the front-line.

This trauma comes from the constant and extreme violence that was our norms.

But it also destroys our memory – we lose hours, days, months or years.

This is not just the violence that wipe out memory, but the fact that the violence done to the prostituted is very repetitive.

How can the brain remember each and every rape when for too many of the prostituted it is in the hundreds or thousands?

No, the mind will remember the most brutal or unusual, the mind may hold the “ordinary” rapes and see enough to know it was true, then say that enough to hold.

How can the brain remember the common tortures that the prostituted know?

No, the mind will remember enough to say the prostitute was not to blame, to show her how trapped she was, to say it was a living hell she had to endure – then say that enough, now learn to it never your fault.

It is the job of the mind to teach those who are lucky enough exit the sex trade that they can and will heal.

Healing is made real if grief is fully expressed.

It is so hard for the prostituted class to grieve.

We have been taught and made to know we have no access to human emotions – we are sub-human so emotions are irrelevant.

The pain of exiting is learning we are fully human, learning we have the full gamut of human emotions.

Emotions is a shock to many survivors of the sex trade – we have no idea how to hold happiness, we fear anger, we need to learn it ok to be still – and grief overwhelms and tears us apart.

We have so much to grieve about – for our grief is never just our personal history, we carry the grief of the silenced prostituted class from all time and every continent, our grief is now connected to all still trapped inside the sex trade.

It a grief that would rip the world apart if fully express or truly heard.

Our grief is constantly hidden, censored, made tame or put into words the prostituted find no meaning for their lives.

The true grief of the prostituted class is a revolution that must be suppressed.

Our grief see and has a clear picture of the cold heart of male violence. We know most male violence is pre-planned and done to make women and children into nothing.

The point of making the prostituted class is make humans objects – so it become if and when there is male violence, it becomes that nothing is done to nothing.

In our grief we remember what being nothing is – it is the language of trash, the language of Whore, the language of fuck-object – it is the language that makes the male orgasm holy.

So yes we have personal grief – grief of being raped into being sub-human, grief of knowing torture is common and always ignored, grief of losing huge parts of our life and memory.

Yes of course grief is personal – but as an exited woman I know I am always connected to all the prostituted from all time, all cultures, all classes, all background and all aspects of the sex trade.

I was told I was nothing – now I know I am strongly connected to some of the bravest, strongest and spiritual peoples that ever existed.

I am very proud to be a small part of the prostituted class.

Pimp Words are Everywhere

Posted on by rmott62

I have been away from my blog, coz I have been facing the grief inside me.

I have been away staying as still as possible, allowing in me emotions to grow after the deadness of being prostituted.

It is hard to stop and grieve when all around the language of pimps dominate.

It is spoken in all the media, it is inside most TV dramas or films, it is heard when resting in coffee shops or just walking down the street.

Pimp language has come to be the acceptable language to speak by most of the liberal/leftist culture, which sadly includes too feminists as well.

It is a language that poisons all those who are lucky enough to survive the sex trade and strive to build real freedom for all the prostituted.

SEX WORK/WORKER

This has become the pc way to speech of all inside the sex trade.

It is spoken without thinking, it is spoken as if it the only good way to describe the prostituted.

It is spoken sending daggers into the hearts of all survivors of the sex trade, it is spoken and gags all our freedoms and ability to speak above pimp speech.

Sex work/worker is a term that was formed in New York by pimps in an attempt to say what they did was not just legitimate, but also harm-free.

It was formed to make all male violence invisible, to make all forms of profiteer’s control invisible, to make it that punters are just misunderstood or all gentlemen.

Sex work/worker is the language of hate and slavery.

But the Left and many liberal feminists took the terms and claim them as their own.

To do that they forget or choose to not remember it is terms owned by pimps.

Instead they make the false claim to be in sex work is to build an environment of safety for the prostituted class.

But this is huge and horrible lie.

When liberal feminists and the Left imagine a sex worker – it is always the old image of the Happy Hooker or courtesan, that age-old male fantasy that hides all male violence and hides the conditions of the prostituted class.

It is the image/fantasy of a middle-class or upper-class adult prostitute who enjoys her life.

It is the image/fantasy that is not just indoors prostitution, but always highly paid, always doing any sexual act with great joy.

It is the image/fantasy that these prostitutes just love doing sexual act or having sexual acts done to them, that good women will not do.

It is an image/fantasy that is allowing violence in indoors prostitution to happen all the time everywhere – but the Left and liberal feminists can turn their backs on it, imagining it is just a chosen lifestyle.

The vile language of sex work/worker reaches it peak when everywhere there – under aged sex workers, migrant sex workers, survival sex work and so many other terms of hate.

It is the language that George Orwell would recognise.

 

I cannot write in full coz grief is all round me.

What is Your Excuse

Posted on by rmott62

I am going to the London Stop Porn Culture conference this weekend, and I will try to focus through the heart of my trauma.

In this post, I want to look at the many excuses made for the continuing of the sex trade. All excuses start from not allowing that the prostituted class can be fully human.

That barring from humanity is how all the sex trade works, so as you make endless excuses know you are making conditions for slavery, conditions for the disappearances or deaths of too many of the prostituted.

If you an excuse to make the sex trade normal, you have blood on your hands.

I write this for I am sick and tired of hearing apparently good people saying prostitution or porn is not that bad – only problem is people like me ruining the fun of others.

So you begin your excuses by lying about who people like me are.

We are moralistic, we hate sex, we are too sheltered, we are mentally damaged, we have no sense of humour, we want the police in the bedroom.

Lordy, we are everything that can be ridicule or made small – anything not to listen and hear our words.

The excuses are made so you or your friends have full access to the sex trade preferably as private as possible.

It is this mentality that against all logic and the reality of male violence works, that pushes for indoors prostitution in the false claim that it safer that street-based prostitution.

No aspect of prostitution is safe, or can be safe enough to be allowed to continue.

Behind closed inside brothels, in flats and hotel rooms, in sex clubs, in the homes of the prostituted – violence continue without interference, without access to help, without the knowledge that any cares.

No, prostitution behind closed doors is open to torture, to gang-rapes, to murder – it is too common that the prostituted just disappear from indoors prostitution.

So dream on if you think escorting, brothel work, being in a sauna, being girlfriend material is safe, or surrounded by managers who care about your welfare as a prostitute.

And to any punter who may be reading this, saying I’m the good guy for using indoors prostitution – I would never ever exploit any prostitute I went with.

You are exploiting by buying her as your masturbatory goods, you are exploiting by even imaging you have the right to buy another human just so you can have an orgasm.

I know of no punter who is bother that a prostitute is injured, bother if she may be trafficked or not, bother if she is under-aged, bother if she out of it on drugs, bother if it clear she being intimidated by a pimp.

Most punters love the thrill that the prostituted is being exploited, love the power of being yet more poison to rip out her humanity.

Punters see no human, they see a living sex doll that has no rights to consent or freedom to be fully alive.

The only time I can imagine a punter caring about the prostitute as a human is if he about to be arrested.

Most punters see no crime in raping, torturing and murdering the prostituted – it just a small event that they can move away from and forget.

That is what you are allowing when you make the sex trade normal.

The excuses come from a place of refusal to have even the smallest piece of empathy for the prostituted.

This happens all the time everywhere – those outside the prostituted class that see we are fully human are rare and need to be hold onto for they are part of the road to freedom.

I am sick and tired of being in an environment of so-called allies who can speak openly about all forms of male violence against women and children – but speak tongue-tied when talking to the conditions of prostitution and porn.

Your constant excuse is it too terrible to be spoken of – but you speak to the reality of child rape, of mass rapes in war-zones, of domestic violence, and many other ways men torture women and children.

But when speaking on the sex trade – it is spoken with great detachment and wanting “proven” facts, it is spoken by saying there must two sides, it is wrapped in the language of sex work.

You language become more and more distant – anything not to see that the prostitute is a human being.

Is it that you truly believe that there are two sides to prostitution and porn – but not two sides to child rape, not two sides to domestic violence?

Why do cling on to the fantasy that some of the prostituted had free choice and so must be happy.

Do you not see most women inside domestic violence would say they chose to live with the person who abuses them?

That the majority of rapes are done by men who built a relationship with their victim.

Do you think it is normal for women and girls outside the sex trade to self-blame for the male violence done to them?

Yet you make the choice not to judge those women and girls, or think it is true that are to blame.

But every day in most environments, the prostituted class are taken at their word if they say what you want to hear – that is they are empowered and happy – and ignore if they say it is hell.

That choice to not listen is part of the genocide of the prostituted class.

I will end here for it too hard for my grieving soul to write anymore.

Don’t Come Here With That Language

Posted on by rmott62

I will write why the language of sex work should ended.

I will write knowing most of my readers are slowly recognising why this language is the language of pimps and punters, the language of lies.

But as history is creeping towards the Nordic Approach being made law in much of Europe, the language of sex work will be more intense and appear to be the only way to view the prostituted.

I will write against this language until it become unacceptable or I am dead.

I cannot rest in a world that claims it is just sex, it is just work.

Sex work is like putting a dagger into my heart – and then blaming me for saying I am in pain – saying it just a bit of fun.

Sex work is a language that makes all male violence done to the prostituted invisible.

It cannot be real violence if it is just part of the job, it is not violence if the whore took the money.

The worse that may have happened is the damaging of the customer’s goods, so it is really is no big deal.

Let be honest about why so many on the Left, so many liberal feminist, so many libertarians love the language of sex work.

It is because they want the sex trade to continue, so they or their friends have full access to the sex trade.

It is because most of the so-called sex workers are profiteering from placing prostitution indoors – either by running escort agencies, or profiteering by speaking or teaching how great indoors prostitution can be made.

These are not the prostitutes who are escorts knowing there is huge risk of rape, battery and of being murdered.

These are the prostitutes inside brothels with no access to consent or even rest.

And these sex workers are happy to abandoned street-based prostitutes who are too messy in the lifestyle to be bother with.

Yes, of course the language of sex trade will play the game of pretending to care about the prostituted who are not having a wonderful time – but in reality they blame those prostitutes or not being strong enough to just deal with the work they have “chosen”.

In reality, sex workers often see the prostituted from the point of view of the pimp – that the prostituted class are never fully human for they are just sexual goods.

The language of sex work keeps the prostituted sub-human, for then it is easier to pass by their pain, grief and sense of horror.

You make a group sub-human then their rapes, their tortures and their murders are made into nothing.

Nothing has happened to nothing.

The sex work language need to make prostituted into nothing for their real interest is to protect the punters and to make the sex trade more profits.

They feign concern about the prostitute’s welfare and safety – but it all about making sure the punter is safe from interference and has a good enough time to spend more money.

That is why most sex work language is quiet about safe sex – even to the point of saying it is ok for punters to not use condoms.

That is why sex work language is about the prostitute being clean and happy – nothing about the condition of the punter, or the fact it is always the punters that bring in STDs for he does not give a damn about safe sex on someone who has no existence.

That is why sex work language is all about how prostitution is just a service to lonely men, to disabled men, to soldiers in wars, to men whose wives/girlfriends won’t explore exotic sex, to men too ugly to get a real partner, to gay men who want to stay straight, to men in show-business/politics/high-power business who want to own a whore.

They split punters into many groups depending who they are trying to persuade.

What they never say is the truth – that there is no group of men who are not capable of becoming punters.

All men need to be a punter is a total lack of empathy, the ability to be ok with another human being made into sexual goods for him to masturbate into, and to do all that as casually as buying a beer in the pub.

So it not that all men are punters, for many would never even imagine making another human into a fuck-doll – it is that there no particular type of man who could be a punter, and that all types of men find excuses to be a punter.

I will not have the language of sex work anywhere near me – for it just protecting that male entitlement.