Monthly Archives: April 2014

Me and the BBC

Posted on by rmott62

I am going to be on Radio 4 on the 7th of May.

Wowser!!

I am more than excited, I feel it is very surreal and somewhere deep inside I am very proud.

Radio 4 is a huge part of my strength and ability to survive, especially when most of my access to hope was being torn from me.

Radio 4 was stable, Radio 4 was a sister/friend/mother in my heart, Radio 4 give a reason to live if only to hear “The Archers”.

So for me to have the fortune to be on Radio 4 is a dream come true.

I cannot express how much TV and radio is a life-saver for me, and how I will always back the BBC.

To wander round World Service, and see all the countries that tune in, heard the range of language – and I was walking with my heart brimming.

If all the BBC does is the World Service, then I know my licence is being well used.

As I walk round the BBC, seeing Dajaks, the news getting made, seeing all the work on radio shows, seeing the orchestra space and the so many studios – I knew I was happy.

Happy is not an emotion I am used to – it feels surreal and that any second something will happen.

I am learning to be happy, and not to expect disaster round the corner.

I was asked to write a talk about my work. I was asked to make the speech personal and about abolishment of prostitution.

I will put up the talk after it is aired on the radio, but I want to write about how positive the BBC were.

I want to write that my experience was and is a powerful moment for me, and may be part of change that is much larger than me and my words.

I was told my talk was groundbreaking, that it was speaking to and with the voices of the silenced.

I had some degree of apology that the BBC is so influenced by the sex trade lobby, and acknowledge of their ignorance and lazy journalism.

Although some of my more graphic language was cut – there was no hiding that prostitution involves torture and must be framed as a human rights issue.

The BBC were brave enough to let my talk be about questioning of attitudes to the prostituted, be about what it is to be inside the body of the prostituted.

It was a talk that was heard in respectful silence, and received without dismissal or hate.

I spoke my talk with a calmness that was almost out of my body.

I spoke to my words with clarity and deep ownership.

When questions were asked, they were all tainted by the propaganda of the sex trade.

I answered with directness, with a quiet rage, I spoke to confront the myths inside the questions.

I am proud – but the recording was strange, for I could believe I could so calm.

I performed well.

I will spread the word when it goes out – hope you all can listen. It will be on a podcast, so no excuses.

Listen to Your Own Words

Posted on by rmott62

More and more this blog goes over the mis-use of language when speaking of prostitution.

Language can lift people up, language can grind people into dirt.

Language can build bridges, language can keep the power with a tiny minority.

Language can be used to educate, language can be used to keep the majority in a state of ignorance.

Language can used to heal, language can be used as a powerful weapon of hate.

I want language around prostitution to be a language of change, a language of human dignity, a language framed by human rights and equality.

I want the language of full freedom to belong to all the prostituted class, not just a selected few.

Before I wrote prose, I was a poet.

I learnt through writing poetry, and from reading a wide variety of novels, poetry and plays – that language is about understanding the true meaning of each and every word.

To speak to prostitution, it is vital to hear and truly listen when exited women (and men) say do not use that language, do not use those particular words.

Hear the exited women – do not turn away, do not say we are too damaged to understand why certain words are used, do not translate our words into language that fits your world view.

Stop before you speak or write, and listen to why exited women do not use your language.

Do not speak of prostitution in the realms of labour.

It is not sex work, it cannot be made better with unions or better harm reduction, it not made good by creating worker’s co-operatives.

To framed prostitution in the world of labour is used to keep hidden the male violence that is inside all aspects of the sex trade.

When prostitution is framed as labour, all the blame for any violence is fully placed onto the prostituted, and punter/sex trade profiteer become invisible.

The prostitute on the receiving end of male (and some female sex trade profiteers) violence is blame by –

She is made to blame for not reading the body language of the punter/sex trade profiteer, and being intelligent enough to avoid any violence.

She is made to blame for staying in the violent situation, and not just getting another job in a safer aspect of the sex trade.

She is made blame if she works in isolation or in a group environment with a bad manager.

She is made for not using condoms, for not checking there are adequate safety precautions.

She is made to blame for not reporting rape, not speaking out about violence or trafficking or under-aged prostitutes.

In the framing of prostitution as labour, the prostitute becomes the convenient scapegoat to make all punters and sex trade profiteers violence vanish.

This is a sick joke, this make all exited women sick to their stomachs.

Yes, we constantly bang on about that prostitution must never be framed as sex work/labour.

We are hurt in every cell of our body, hurt to the back of our consciences, hurt back to knowing why it was never labour and always slavery or plain old exploitation.

Think when you frame prostitution as labour – how would you write a job description or frame union rights for the average prostitution?

How would frame the fact that no prostitution has the right to live in safety? Would you just use harm reduction to make it safe enough, with the knowledge there will still be constant raping, battering, torturing and murders of the prostituted?

Would just be framed as the risk of the job?

How would you frame the constant practice of the sex trade profiteers stealing money from the prostituted, or just refusing to pay her?

Would you say it is ok practice to force the prostituted into unsafe or sadist sexual acts, for it can be the only way she can make a living wage or at the least a form of existence?

I cannot get close to the pain and fury that your speaking of sex work does to exited women.

I know we speak out, often with great clarity and strength – but inside there is a silence of knowing what being a slave was, knowing what it is to have no access to the language of consent, knowing what it to destroyed and most turn away for the prostituted are not considered human enough to have rights.

We are silent with disbelief that the punters and sex trade profiteers are made unimportant or to just vanish.

All violence done to the prostituted is made by the male demand, or by those who profiteers by supplying that demand.

No prostitute is to blame for how the sex trade will place her into the line of danger.

No prostitute is to blame for the punters demanding more and more access to destroy her body and mind.

No prostitute is to blame for society making her sub-human.

If you think the prostitute is to blame, then be humble and learn to re-educate yourself  – listen fully to exited women.

This is just beginning of thinking about language – I could go on forever.

Please watch your language.

 

 

 

Writing Inside Too Much Noise

Posted on by rmott62

I have not blog for some time. I have chosen a day when I washing clothes, phone keeps ringing and there are workmen in the flat below.

I will write into my depths, but it may very disjointed, and my anger may come and go.

I have turn on soul, disco, blues and gospel up loud to drown annoying noise, but no promises that I can stay focus.

Ahh, city life is so wonderful!!!!

I had to stop writing because I needed to face my grief, I needed to stop running away from my own past, see my past without downplaying it, or convincing myself that others had much worse.

In this post, I want to stop and look into that grief, look at certain words that I write and say often – but usually with detachment, or making it about all the prostituted but my teenage and young adult self.

Grief is the beginning of finding true freedom.

Grief is the opening of the frozen heart to a route back to light and compassion.

Grief is accepting the pain and terror of the past, and learning the vital lesson to end condemning yourself.

Grief is forgiveness of who you had to be to survive, forgiveness of the “bad” actions you had to do just to cling hold of life.

Grief could be the washing away of body memories and drowning out those who made you into nothing.

That is just some of the multiple parts of grief.

All I know is that grief is teaching me to see my prostituted self and to learn she was and is lovable.

Grief kills the lie that I was made nothing.

Grief is the comfort blanket that was always within me, just had way of having full expression.

I believe that to grieve after extreme trauma is finding true freedom.

But grief does not mean full recovery, or that the pain and fear magically vanishes.

It is never that simple.

I still have horrific body memories, still get terrors in the night, still cannot cry, still block so much.

But somehow grief holds my hand.

Grief is like a close friend at a funeral of someone who you deeply loved.

Grief cannot make all better, grief cannot end the aching hole of the loss, grief cannot stop the pain of not knowing what the future may be.

No grief is not a miracle worker – it is far better than that, for grief works inside your mind, heart and gut reaction to allow you to see reality and know the future will be slowly built.

Sometimes grief is a gaping silent screaming – that sees and fully knows what to be prostituted really means.

Grief silently screams at the knowledge that torture was so normal that it could be felt or known.

Grief silently screams that rape was so normal, so constant – that the prostituted mind can only label it as rape if she is on the edge of death or the pain breaks through her detachment.

Grief silently screams hearing the endless justifications that is just work, that prostitutes have a natural high pain threshold, that it her free choice to be in that world – hell, prostitution is always with us.

No wonder grief is a silent screaming when surrounded by the noise of lies and justifications that make invisible all violence done to the prostituted.

If that scream was given a noise is would shake the earth and deafen all those who make those justifications.

Grief is the part of all the prostituted that is reaching out for real love.

A love that is made solid, and given without manipulation or trying find other ways to use the prostituted.

A love that is not about re-making the prostituted into sexual goods – but seeing and wanting to meet all aspects of her, seeing the prostituted as fully rounded and complicated people.

A love that come from within the prostitute, a love that will slowly heal and teach her to be fully human.

Grief is the close friend who does not judge or speak for the prostituted, but stand by her as she finds what it is to be human.

Grief is that close friend that knows laughter is life, and encourage sick dark “jokes” to force life back into the prostitute.

Grief is the close friend who is not afraid of silences, or deep rages.

Grief wants and needs all expressions and emotions to come out – including those that are ugly or unbearable to feel and know.

Grief wants the prostituted to be whole and fully alive.

I am happy to grieve – always knowing how hard it is.

 

Sorry

Posted on by rmott62

I have unable to write this week for many reasons

We Do Get Hurt

Posted on by rmott62

Again I speak to how language is used to hurt the prostituted class, and to keep us sub-human.

How many times do exited women have to say do not ever use the sex worker.

Do not say migrant sex worker, do not say child sex worker, don’t wrap our pain and fear in those words.

If you really believe it just sex and it can be framed as work – then I want you to be inside escorting or a brothel for six weeks.

I want you to know in your skin the dead terror of never knowing what a punter may do to you.

I want you to be inside the body that cannot have permission to say no even as it knows the sex act will rip into you.

I want to be in the room as you learn no-one will help you, or even give a dam n if you are dead or alive.

Is that what you call work, is that what you call sex?

Know that once you inside the world of prostitution, you have access to the language of consent, no right to safety.

Is that just work?

Tell me is it normal to go to work and know at any time and in any place you will be raped, tortured or murdered?

Tell me if you have a job, do think it would be normal if your work colleagues just disappeared on a regular basis?

Tell me do think work is like that – or is that not the conditions of slavery?

Now tell how you possibly framed prostitution as sex.

Is it that you think sex is only real if there pain and domination?

Is that when you have sex you must be dead inside, forget about your own safety or right to say no?

Is it that you have decided men will die or go insane if they do not have constant supply to sex?

Wow, you have a very low opinion of sex.

I do not have to live in the world created by the expression sex work – I want so much more for the prostituted class.

I want human to be made in sexual goods for the glory of the male orgasm.

I want no more excuse made to say that the prostituted must have “chosen their lifestyle”, so it is easier to just abandoned them.

I want no use of pimp language by academics, by the media, by those using the label sex workers to hide that they are profiteers.

I want to end the divisions between sex trafficking and prostitution – and instead seeing with a clear that the condition are similar, see that all are in the line of male violence and hate.

I want the focus to be away from the prostituted, and to shine an interrogating light onto the punters. See it their greed and demand that it the real cause of the hell that is named prostitution.

I want the punter to be afraid of punishment and stigma.

I want to be seen with a clear eye that all punters are doing an act of violence by making the choice to buy another human as sexual goods.

I want it to be known that the vast majority of punters will be violent – that is mentally physically or sexually – to the prostitute.  For the punter see the prostitute as goods that he owned and has full control – he see no humanity in the prostitute.

I know I want a lot – coz I the simple thing that all the prostituted class is made fully human, and granted freedom from torture and fear.