I so tired of all the issues round prostitution being centred on the prostituted, mostly women and girls.

It is not a female problem, it never has been a female problem – all that harms and destroys is firmly a male problem.

First and foremost, it is men who make the choice to buy and consume the prostituted.

It is mainly men who choose to make the prostituted into sexual good to be brought and sold.

It is men who make the decision that all the prostituted are to be made sub-human.

That is the centre of all the violence done to the prostituted – the male demand and desire to control the prostituted.

It is not stigma that causes the rapes, the battering, the mental torturing and murders of the prostituted – it men deciding that prostituted have no rights to safety or basic human rights.

But constantly the men who consume and create the sex trade are made invisible.

Instead, the prostituted are blamed for all the violence.

It is made out that to be prostituted is to not care how sadist the punters are, to be prostituted is to have supernatural sexual urges.

It is made out that the prostituted are not human enough to know pain, to feel fear or or need real human contact.

It is made clear that the prostituted are so bad that violence is the less that they deserve.

In this upside-down thinking, the prostituted enjoy pain, want to be humiliated and want punters to destroy their humanity.

Punters are made into kings, with the knowledge that he can torture and destroy the prostituted with no consequences.

It is Christmas again, and like all year round punters and sex trade profiteers are destroying the prostituted.

I write for change every year, I fight for change with all the power of knowing that hell.

But justice for the prostituted still seemed so far away.

Yes, some countries are changing laws to make the men responsible for their crimes – but my country seems to be digging its head in the sand.

I fear that England is hoping silence will stop any thoughts of justice and human rights for the prostituted.

But it is no silence, only a silencing of any public speech of abolition or a listening to exited women.

There is a constant noise of the sex trade lobby in our media, dominating how polititions speak, and part of popular culture.

It the voices of punters and sex trade profiteers who are made to matter, as the prostituted are being destroyed.

Please stop making men invisible.

I have try to do debates with the pro-sex trade lobby, but they just pour out lies and emotional control – so I will damage my growth by playing their games.

In this post, I lay down a few of the many bear-traps the sex trade lobby place in the way of exited women being seen and heard.

I have been very ill, but I will try to be as clear as possible.

The most important thing to know about the sex trade/work lobby is they are the public voices of sex trade profiteers and punters – they see no human in the prostituted.

Rather, their image of all of the prostituted is that we are goods that they owned and control.

They see exited women as their property that has escaped- we should either be still be be trapped in the sex trade, too mentally ill to speak out or dead.

So there is no debate going on, just a constant reminder that the prostituted have no rights, and can never achieve the goal of being viewed as human.

That is the background noise to all so-called debates exited women and the sex trade lobby.

One tactic that is a constant is that the sex trade will consciously triggered the exited women in a public space, but always in a way to make them look good and that she is over-emotional, mentally ill or unable to understand outside her narrow history.

This is gas-lighting at it most powerful, this is the mind-set of a pimp or a sadist punter.

They used the fact that exited women have extreme trauma, fragmented memory, and experiences that have made unspeakable to their advantage.

With cold hearts, the sex trade lobby will act rational and full of facts, but they speak with poisoned lies.

Everything they say is to make male violence to the prostituted invisible and unimportant.

That is why they claim is only stigma, poverty and trafficking that may be of some issue.

All these can make the punters disappear or be stripped of responsibility for his own choices.

Too often, the sex trade speak to the stigma, saying stigma as a word that covers all harms done to the prostituted, all lack of justice.

They say it the police that is the greatest fear of the prostituted – really, not serial raping by punters, not battery by pimps or punters, not being more violent aspects of the sex trade, not being made to disappear.

The police are a minor problem compare the constant genocide of the prostituted by punters and sex trade profiteers.

The making invisible the punter’violence is the underlying purpose of the sex trade lobby, for to call it work, choice, fantasy, empowerment and game-playing is the langange of making the prostituted into sub-human sexual goods.

It is the language of work that is used in our public spaces, with the false claims it no worse or better than being a miner.

Prostitution is never just another job, it not a free exchange.

Protitution is to have your body controlled, used, and trashed by any man who make the choice to be a punter.

I want to look at the lies said about choices for the prostituted – note there no space is their debates to speak to the choices of the punters.

They speak as if the only strong push into the sex trade is poverty – not previous abuse, not peer pressure, not deep self-hate, not racism, not not not anything that does fit their neat boxes.

By focusing just on poverty, there is little or no push for radical change, just some tinkering at the work/pay conditions.

More important, this endless focus on the push only being poverty is a deep betrayal and abandonment of the many prostituted who had multiple pushes into the sex trade.

I am getting sick again, could write forever, but please do not believe the lies.

I am having a break, thinking of moving from city life to small town life.

This is a massive change for me, but it will getting back the good side of my family, and stop some of my isolation.

I am a city girl in my heart, but have always done by cutting myself off a great deal.

Now, I am slowly changing.

I want and need to give and receive help with love.

I need to know I can belong inside my family.

I need to build up my emotional and physical welfare.

I cannot do everything by myself.

The sex trade pull out trust, asking for help, sense that you can be worthy of others loving you – and trashes all that in the bin.

Part of rediscovering our true humanity is learning that there is no need to do everything alone.

Prostitution made me, and so many of my exited friends terrified to ask for love or help.

Our fear comes from years of rejection, years of betrayal, years of building an existence where walls round our inner selves.

To learn to trust, to learn to be vulnerable, to learn we are lovable is confusing and scary.

The rules of basic existence were withhold from us, but our pride makes us not show we are all too lost.

How can learn to receive when you have been brought and sold.

How can understand trust when you survived by following rules that changed all the time.

How do understand the language of love when rape and mental violence was enclosed in those words.

Relearning how to be human is what it is to be exited from the sex trade.

I may learn by slowing down.