Writing this blog is very tough.

I try to connect to my words, but the more power in them, the more detached I get.

This blog is read all over the world, and I have only been to Europe and many American states.

I know my readership is beyond my counting, even in the early stages of this blog more readers than my mind can factor in.

All this is very surreal to me, especially as I live a very uninteresting lifestyle.

I choose to live with as few excitements as possible – for an interesting life can be a curse.

I like to be ordinary, like to go under the radar.

But this blog is the part of my soul, my lonely Self wanting publicity and some kind of purpose for a better future.

I write because it is the role I choose to live.

I write coz to survive prostitution is carry ghosts that demand a voice.

I write because silence is a living death.

Many of readers say this blog help give some voices to the prostituted who cannot speak out.

The prostituted who layer on layer on layer are dead from murder, suicide or unable to survive.

The prostituted who have been made to disappear – maybe into worst aspects of the sex trade, maybe into a silence made of too many memories, made bones pile on bones.

The prostituted made silent by torture of their minds and bodies.

The prostituted with no friends, no allies, no loving relatives and no support to express their pain to.

I hope with every ache of my heart, my blog is part of many exited women giving some words to this deadly silence.

In this blog, I try to speak to complex trauma.

I try to find a language that reaches in fragmented memory.

I try to find a language that reaches into the silence of the tortured, without it being framed by the torturer.

I try to find a language that is not afraid of deep grief – grief pull from eons of male hate and violence done to the prostituted on every continent.

And I try find a language that lays bare that trauma will always be with the prostituted when there no justice and they viewed as sub-human sexual goods.

My blog is my mission, it is more than work – it is scream, a plea, a demand that all the sex trade must be eradicated.

I am proud that I have become unstoppable – but also deeply saddened and shocked that I need to write this blog.

I do not see enough of the prostituted being allowed basic human rights  – so I must write.

I do not see the prostituted having the freedom of speech.

Instead, I see and hear the words of the prostituted being framed by sex trade profiteers as sex work, empowerment and even feminism.

Exited women have to fight all the time to being heard – as constantly the sex trade and its many allies silence and threaten our voices.

I see no access to freedom of movement for the prostituted.

Instead I see the constant movement of the prostituted into more violence, movement to disoriented the prostituted into deep silence.

I see the conditions of trafficking being made invisible by being framed as chosen sex work.

I see no right to safety for any prostitute in any country that makes the choice to normalised the sex trade.

Instead, I know that every moment, there are countless prostituted living inside mental, physical and sexual torturing.

I know every form of torture we have invented is rehearsed on the minds and bodies of the prostituted before it becomes a politic tool.

But the torturing of the prostituted is rebranded as adult entertainment, as porn, as kinky sex, or as boys being boys – and so it cannot be a human rights issue.

So, I see and know I must keep writing, for I live in a world that claim the prostituted are not human, just fuckable goods.

This blog is a warning that is too often ignored.

Prostitution is pass over for more do-able causes.

Too often the myths of the sex trade lobby are made gospel, and the a deadening silence surrounds exited women.

I have enough, your ignorance is drowning out hope, killing my warrior spirit.

I will keep on keeping on – how can I stop when my prostituted Sisters are living in hell as you pass them by.

When will you see this is an international crisis, it is a endless genocide as vulnerable females replace destroyed prostituted women and girls?

When will you see the deaths, the rapes, the torturing and the mental destruction of the prostituted with a clear eye?

When will you stop framing as chosen work, but as slavery and entrapment?

And when will you stop making the prostituted sub-human, and get empathy with compassion for their suffering?

We are dying, and you are making statistics and writing books to keep us at a safe distant.

Why should exited women make nice, as you so clearly see our lives as research or a way to further your career – not seeing our souls or desire to matter.

I have writing and speaking for a decade, and too much of energy is used up repeating myself coz our lives still are made not to count.

I am proud to an Abolitionist, proud of my family roots in fighting for civil and human rights – but it is like being Sisyphus.

Ted It is the silence of so-called allies that hurts and makes my work so hard.

Too many liberal feminists justify the sex trade, finding multiple excuses for their men to consume the prostituted.

Too many anti-trafficking groups finds why to ignore adult prostitution framing it as chosen work, and separating out “real” trafficking and child sexual exploitation from that “good” prostitution.

Too many radical feminists say the prostituted are betrayer for “allowing” male violence, or not being gold- plated lesbians.

With friends like this, it is surprising most exited women don’t kill themselves.

We deal with that, we smile, we negotiate, we try to teach – we perform the good exited woman with a pain and grief following us.

All the time, exited women who speak truth to power are attacked with a vengeance by the sex trade lobby.

This lobby is the voices of sex trade profiteers and punters.

It is often spoken through the media, through academia, though all forms of cultural speech – the reality is the language of the sex trade lobby is the background noise all exited women are drowning in.

The worst aspect of this hate-speech of the sex trade lobby is how they use that most exited women live with complex trauma to their advantage.

This is shown in how it is common for them to demands facts of how many punters raped us, where we were raped, what age we were, and why if was so terrible we never reported any of our rapes.

All this is said with the full knowledge that exited women could have fragmented memory – or have been so often it all merges into one.

The sex trade lobby uses our trauma to claim exited women have no handle on knowing the reality of prostitution.

Added to this cruel statement, is always that only the prostituted who are currently in the sex trade should be listen to.

It is made invisible that these voices can easier be manipulated to speak the words of sex trade profiteers and punters.

It is made invisible that the prostituted can be punished for not speaking the words of those who are oppressing them.

There is no such thing as free speech for the prostituted.

I am angry at how hard this work is.