Yelling Quietly

Since finding this great avenue of connection that we have here on WordPress I have read some phenomenal pieces by you all. Some come here and share their most recent dating stories. Some come here to share their beautiful and powerful poetry. Some speak of painful memories that they’ve held on to for years. Some take me to other parts of the world by sharing their travels. Regardless of what is you all share it given me the desire to air a bit of my emotional laundry as well.

You bloggonians have shown me enough care and love that I feel like you are shoulders to cry on and/or hands to high five in my highs. With this said I feel like I can vent here and share with you all, and it’s a great feeling. I was quite apprehensive to write and share this because I feel like I’m whining or something. Plus, you are all such great writers here and your words seem to flow so effortlessly that I feel like a mere novice. But who knows, maybe some of you will be able to relate to this or use it as a heart break prevention tool in the future.

Alright let’s get into it…

In the past 6 months I have been a victim of the busy bee TWICE. When I say busy bee I mean a girl who says, “Sorry I’ve been busy” when you ask where they disappeared to. Let’s have a look at the evidence for both of these cases:

Exhibit A

She was quite aggressive and actually asked me when I was going to ask her for her number. I was instantly attracted. It’s cute and aggressive. Once numbers were exchanged the communication pattern began. Multiple texts a day including good morning have a good day 🙂 and good nights seasoned with sweet dreams. Then on to that first beautiful and exciting actual phone call. Now we are firing on all cylinders laughing, sharing and making plans.

Let’s now fast forward to the crime scene.

The texts become few and far between. There are no random phone calls and she always seems to be BUSY. So I push on despite my healthy dose of skepticism. I lean on my trust in her. Now it’s getting a bit ridiculous and I ask the what the problem is. She replies sorry I’ve just been BUSY with work, family and enlisting duties for the navy. What can I do, call her a liar and demand she still makes time for me? No way, then I become the problem. So once again I reach into my trust stash and believe her. Now weeks passes by and no word. I send a text that stirs a response and learn that too BUSY actually means seeing someone else.

I would share the confession text with you, but I deleted it.

Exhibit B

She was great right off the bat. She made the first move and wrote me first. Once again I love the confidence and assertiveness. Our numbers get exchanged more quickly this time and I wait till Valentine’s day to deliver the first text. She is elated upon receiving it. We text back and forth regularly for weeks before we actually talk. The random hope your having a good day texts are running freely. The disclosing of our past, our hopes and our interests are a daily affair. We are getting closer and more comfortable with each other.

Normal communication begins to change.

The questions and interest begins to fade. The random texts are a thing of the past. The last text in our phone conversation shows me posing a question, but getting no reply. If I don’t try to call I don’t think we’d even talk. I ask her what’s up and she tell me she been busy with work, moving and buying a car. I tell myself surely it isn’t happening again. I mean I just told this girl about how this had just recently happened to me. No way somebody could repeat the same offense that you shared with them. Once again I reach into my trust bag and remember reassuring things she had told me. The trust begins to wear thin and today I asked her if I’m liking and thinking about someone who isn’t doing the same. And here’s the reply I got: Good morning babes! 🙂 I do want to apologize for being a little distant recently. I have ALOT going on around here and in this damn brain of mine. I want to be honest with you because that's what you deserve. I met someone about a month ago through mutual friends and we have hung out a lot recently. Im not sure what is going to come out of this but I don't want to be dishonest with you because that's not who I am. I think about you a lot through out my day and I am a bit confused to be honest.

What I’ve learned from this is that if things seem like they don’t add up, they probably don’t. Trust your instincts. In both instances I chose to believe what I wanted to be true versus what actually was. Like the quote says above no one is really too BUSY. There are 24 hours in a day. We can spare seconds or minutes to let the people we care about know that we still care. So the moral of the story boys and girls is Beware of Busy Bees, they still can sting.