Title: The Big Squeeze
Author: Christopher Athens
Cover artist: Uncredited (!!!?)
Condition: 9/10
Value: $15-20

- Billy woulda taken first place at the 9th grade art show for sure but the judges said his rad painting, which is obviously a commentary on free speech, had "sexual content" and they totally disqualified him, like what is this, Soviet Russia? Bogus.
- Seriously, though, what is happening?
- The dude ... did the dude forget his ... shoe? Is that a shoe? A tipped over bag of groceries? A melted turntable? I know I should be focused on the naked ladies, but...
- Are they going up or down? Also, why? Also, is Red dead? Also, why?
- Protip: cover one of the most important visual elements of your cover with giant block letters so the reader has no idea wtf is going on. It's avant-garde!
- This book is in perfect condition ... is the best thing I can say about this book.

- OK, right off the bat, I can tell you the cover copy writer has limited experience with what we in the writing business call "verbs."
- BRB, relabeling all my booze "Parts Cleaner"
- "Three-and-a-half bells?" Are we at sea?
- "This pair of chicks tried to pick me up once and ... what? You don't know them. They live in Canada. ANYway, these totally real chicks..."
- Who the f is "Tom Anthony"?
Page 123~
"Brush my teeth," I said, holding a hand in front of my mouth."Oh," exhaled Barbara. "When you said 'oral' I thought ... well, nevermind what I thought ..."
~RP
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