Paperback 971: Convict Lust / Robert Wallace (France 58)

Paperback 971: France 58 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Convict Lust
Author: Robert Wallace
Cover artist: photo cover

Estimated value: $25-30
Condition: 7/10

Best things about this cover:

• Fishnet headboard. Interesting.
• Bouffantastic!
• Her get-up, despite color clashing, is pretty cute. Those stockings, however, were not meant to be seen below the ankle.

Best things about this back cover:

• This non-centered block of text is oddly common. There doesn't appear to be any particular aesthetic at work. Maybe it adds the aura of "cheap and forbidden" the publisher's trying to create.
• Hemingway's "The Killers" has a main character called "the Swede." I'm guessing this story isn't as good as "The Killers."
• This book should've been called "His Welding Equipment."

Page 23~ (Page 123 being boring and unrepresentative)

A few hours ago I was a happy-go-lucky goof-off going on twenty-seven. Then I run into the best lay in the land and—presto! chango!—I'm an old broken-down jerkhead and frightened stiff.

You tell 'em, Chango! (rhymes with "tango"). P.S. the first sentence of this novel is "She ripped off her panties and hopped into bed." In medias res!

~RP

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Paperback 969: Half-way to Hell / Serg Ross (France F41)

Paperback 969: France F41 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Half-way to Hell
Author: Serg Ross
Cover artist: photo cover

Estimated value: $20-25
Condition: 7/10

Best things about this cover:

• Feels closer than that.
• It's like he emerged from the sea just to have his soul sucked out of his face.
• The vibe here is so "Exploitation" that it makes me a little uncomfortable. The horrid decor. The cheesy plaid dude. The alcohol. Nothing good is happening here.
• It's a fold-out cover, but not a continuation of the cover picture (thank god). Not gonna show it, as it is a photo of a random naked woman and you can see her nipple and while I know none of you care and I don't care, I've had my website(s) blocked for harmless stuff like that before. Also, the photo continues the ick vibe of this cover, and I think we've had enough. . . . wait, I can just block out the "offending" nipple ... hang on ... 

Gratuitous nude photo! Enjoy. Or don't.

And now the back cover:

Best things about this back cover:

• I am not "highly stimulated" by any of this, especially with that damn monster-kiss hovering over everything.

Page 123~

"That's the bartendah, I take it?" Tom asked, pointing obviously at Adam. "Those niggahs are always late."

Ugh. This book is the worst. Booo!

~RP

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Paperback 968: Eros Laughed / Bart Mayes (France Books F19)

Paperback 968: France F19 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Eros Laughed
Author: Bart Mayes —credited nowhere on either front or back cover :(
Cover artist: "Cover photo by Sam Wu" ("photo posed by professional model")

Estimated value: $25
Condition: 8/10

Best things about this cover:

• Jesus wept.
• Is that a bare mattress?
• It is at least somewhat remarkable that these books provide a *photographer* credit. Most paperbacks don't give their *fully painted covers* an artist credit.
• This book is immaculate, but for a bent-up corner of the back cover.

Here's the fold-out!:

• "Odd" and "ball" desperately want to be reunited. See also "twenty" and "eight."
• Hey! Hidden lesbian content! That stuff's not normally, uh, hidden where these books are concerned.
• Based on the last two France covers, it appears that what men want in their fold-out covers is a generous expanse of haunch. Nothing wrong with that.

Best things about this back cover:

• Gonna start referring to myself as "on the dark side of thirty." I'm 46, so I think it works.
• Wow this writing is straight terrible. First, it just doesn't got with the girl pictured. Second, the whole last third of the paragraph adds nothing to either the "eros" of the passage or to character development or Anything.
• Oh, Gawd, indeed.

Page 123~

When Louise saw her fully clothed, she dressed, too, and they sat together tiredly, letting the coffee do its beneficial work.

Good ol' coffee. Doing the work. Easing the shame. My best friend.

~RP

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Paperback 967: Silent Sex / Jim Harmon (France F21)

Paperback 967: France F21 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Silent Sex
Author: Jim Harmon (credited on back) (?)
Cover artist: "Cover Photo by Ralph Poole / Cover posed by professional model"

Estimated value: $25
Condition: 8/10

Best things about this cover:

• Doesn't sound like much fun tbh
• Should the main visual component of the cover of a book called "Silent Sex" be the fabric pattern on the couch? Seafoam Sex!
• France books are ... so odd. They combine the fanciness of a fold-out front cover with the low-rent ickiness of everything else. Here's the out-folded cover:

• I guess we get a pretty good stretch of hind quarters there, but once again, I'm queasily mesmerized by the decor. Sex in a gilded frame!

Best things about this back cover:

• Whoa. 1920s Hollywood? Did NOT see that coming.
• Next time someone doesn't recognize your (or anyone else's) name, just follow it up with "... of the Purple Gloves?" and see what happens.
• I want to like Sherri Novak because like me she appears to be a medievalist of sorts, but that blurb makes no sense.
• I really want "Billy" to be a literal horse.

Page 123~

Now, six years later, he was sleeping at the side of a girl who had learned "tricks" from an under-the-counter book. Full circle.

He shook her awake. "Do the rabbit one again! Please!"

~RP

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Paperback 621: Jazz Me Baby / Karl Kelly (France F29)

Paperback 621: France F29 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Jazz Me Baby
Author: Karl Kelly
Cover artist: [photo cover]

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)


Best things about this cover:

• Fold-out! And what a reveal! Darkly-crotched panties and bunched-up hosiery. This photo screams "klass!" Also, "model needs to eat / pay rent."
• "Here, lie on these sad, cold little metallic pillows. Perfect. It's like you're the giant in the harem. Le Sexy!"
• I really hate that the title doesn't have the comma where it belongs. Sincerely.
• Favorite word on this cover: "American" — "Following the huge of success of 'Jazz Me Baby' overseas ..."
• Maybe if you say "routine" again the description will ironically sound less routine.
• Karl Kelly needs a better agent. His name's nowhere to be found on the cover. And it's not like they don't have enough real estate.

Best things about this back cover:

• I am curious YELLOW!
• "in his off-hours, or even during his working hours OMG WHY DO THESE WORDS EXIST?!"
• "The inner yearning burning" is a phrase you should use to describe all your amorous urges. Pretty please.
• "Pneumatic!" Wait, is that where you operate her by a system of pulleys? Or ... wait, no, that's where you can't slam her because of her compressed-air system. Practical!

Page 123~

I strode masterfully (strode? hell, dad, I wobbled!) to the bed room, not even looking around to see if she was following me.

"STRODE? HELL, DAD, I WOBBLED!" is the new "Looks like you've been behind the barn!"

~RP

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