Paperback 1105: Suburban High School / George Savage (Beacon B494F)

 Paperback 1105: Beacon B494F (PBO, 1962)

Title: Suburban High School

Author: George Savage

Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 6/10

Value: $12-15

[The Book Den, Santa Barbara, CA (2024)]

Best things about this cover: 

• Suburban kink is a sizable sleaze paperback niche. Kinsey got everyone interested in the actual sex practices of ordinary people, and nothing shouts "ordinary" quite so strongly as the suburbs. Writers had fun imagining that "upstanding citizens," cultural conformists, and scolding moralists were actually horny hypocrites. And their kids, too!
• Her hair is doing very weird and unnatural things. Either that or she fell on a squirrel.
• "Oh Steve, this dead squirrel makes a terrible pillow. I feel sick. Rub my tummy."
• Seems like a Scandal, Sin and Sex curriculum would involve a lot of redundancy. I'd prefer some outdoor activities and maybe even some philosophy: Sin, Sun and Sartre! (if that's not the tagline of some philosophy conference somewhere, then why even be a philosopher?)
• Aside from her bralessness and semi-brazen side-boob, this cover is pretty tame. At first I thought there was some kind of bacchanalia going on in the background, but they're just dancing and roasting marshmallows, I think.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Does this even qualify as "advice?" And is that someone's idea of a "faculty" pun? 
• Hey, Frank Miller is in this? Exciting to get insight into his life pre-Dark Knight Returns.
• "A new teaching position"—is that also a pun!? 
• "Using women as weapons"—so, like battering rams?
• OK, I'm just gonna assume the whole last paragraph is meant to be SHOUTED.
• There is a catastrophic em dash failure in the last line here. This is the kind of "Scandal" that would bother me as a parent. "Yeah, yeah, the teens are having sex, whatever. Let's talk punctuation."

Page 123~

"Wait," I said. "Let me take off your panties."

I made it a ritual. I made taking her panties off a pagan rite that we would always practice. I drew them down slowly, inch by inch, over her hot buttocks."

Sorry, I wanted to go on, but I can't stop laughing at "hot buttocks." It's like if Hot Pockets were shaped like a butt. "Hot Buttocks!"

~RP

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Paperback 889: Teen-Age Stray / Arthur Adlon (Beacon B752X)

Paperback 889: Beacon Signal B752X (PBO, 1964)

Title: Teen-Age Stray
Author: Arthur Adlon
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• "She was down to pennies, tears and her bikini…" Is that zeugma? I've been waiting to see zeugma again since I first learned what it was 25 years ago, in my Brit Lit II class, where we were reading Alexander Pope's "Rape of the Lock." And here we are. Zeugma!
• This whole concept is not "erotic" to me. It's depressing. Except the triumphant, happy ending where she joins the erotic world of lesbianism. I approve of that.
• … and her calves never got sunburned again.

Best things about this back cover:

• Texty!
• Rex. That's a great name! Terridy, however … that's not even a plausible name, let alone a good one.
• "...a meal, a buck, and a bed…" It honestly didn't occur to me at first that "buck" might simply refer to money.

Page 123~

"Then talk, Rex. I like you better when you talk. You warm me."

~RP

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Paperback 740: Your Own Party Book / Gertrude Crampton (Comet Books 23)

Paperback 740: Comet Books 23 (PBO, 1949)

Title: Your Own Party Book
Author: Gertrude Crampton
Cover artist: Abbi Damerow (illus.)

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• That. Record. Player.
• Pink! Honestly, this is a super-delightful cover. Makes the '40s seem like fun. Super-white, but still fun.
• And nothing says "fun" like "Gertrude Crampton."
• P.S. "Gay"

Best things about this back cover:

• Everyone's so skinny and happy and gay! Look at the adorable short pants and pigtails. Weenie roast! Let's all go back! Civil rights, shmivil rights, the '40s were fun!
• Holy crap, did phones still look like that in '49?! Is your date gonna pick you up in his surrey?
• Jane's glue-sniffing addiction got totally out-of-control at the Valentine's Day dance…

Page 123~

[A recipe for "English Monkey"] [Yes, seriously]

English Monkey
2 cups stale bread crumbs
2 cups milk
2 cups cheese in small pieces
2 tablespoons butter
2 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
A little pepper
1/4 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon thin bottled meat sauce

"Sprinkle with paprika to look stylish."

Note that they didn't have *kinds* of cheese in the '40s. Just "cheese." Also, I am unaccountably imagining a teamster grabbing his crotch and going "I got yer thin bottled meat sauce right here!"

I will straight-up *give* this book to someone if he/she promises to a. throw a party directly out of this book, and b. provide multiple photos.

~RP

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Paperback 737: Duke / Hal Ellson (Popular Library 219)

Paperback 737: Popular Library 219 (5th ptg, 1950)

Title: Duke
Author: Hal Ellson
Cover artist: Rudolph Belarski

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• Her "whatever" face is the best.
• Black Joan Crawford could take you or leave you.
• Shoes! Why does everyone on old paperbacks look so damn cool. Even goofy people look cool. Even Flat-butt No Face here has a certain simple, shabby style I admire. 
• Juvenile delinquency! Dope! Smoking (literally) hot girls who could give a damn! This book has it all.
• The one word I think of when I see Belarski's artwork: creamy. 

Best things about this back cover:

• Love the advisory at the end there! "If you barf easy, or don't, like, care about important stuff, then fuck off already." This book has the same attitude as the lady on the cover.
• Marijuana. I like when books name their drugs. Even though this is a 5th printing, the great condition, the JD (juvenile delinquency) theme, and the drug references make it super-sweet / collectible. 
• "Cash before pleasure"? Come on, you gotta up your slang game if you're gonna run the streets. "Money before honeys"? "Dough before ho"? "Cheddar before girls in tight sweaters"? Something.

Page 123~

"You got any sticks on you?" Chink said.
"Yeah, I got some. You want one."
"I could use it."
I gave Chink one. I passed some around to the others. I lit one for myself. I needed that. We all got to be feeling gay then. 

Aw, yeah … [cue sexy music] …

~RP

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Paperback 590: Morning, Winter, and Night / John Nairne Michaelson (Berkley Books G-166)

Paperback 590: Berkley Books G-166 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Morning, Winter, and Night
Author: John Nairne Michaelson
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• Peter was never that good at vampiring. "Less sniffing, more biting," his mother always said. But Peter was different.
• It's the story of two young lovers, trapped in a magical aging rain that grays your hair but good.
• It's not just frank. It's absolutely frank. 24-karat frank. 99 44/00% pure frank. The frank standard.

Best things about this back cover:

• Correction: *utterly* frank. We apologize for any confusion our front cover copy may have caused.
• Just to be clear: great frankness. OK? OK.
• This sounds like one long story of fumbling with straps and premature ejaculation.

Page 123~

"She'll get well now, I think. It's been a near thing."

"I'll get the milk pails."

I'm just gonna leave that there.

~RP

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Paperback 562: Summer Street / Hal Ellson (Ballantine Books 27)

Paperback 562: Ballantine Books 27 (PBO, 1953)

Title: Summer Street
Author: Hal Ellson
Cover artist: Robert Maguire

Yours for: $12

Best things about this cover:

• "Aw, gee whiz, Summer. I didn't know this was your street. OK, OK, I'll leave. Golly, it's gettin' so's a fella can't practice his Fonzie poses nowheres!"
• "Aw, gee whiz, it's Miss McGillicuddy. Now she's gonna know I'm playin' hooky. OK, Billy, c'mon, get it together. Just play it cool. No eye contact. Stare broodingly into the distance and she'll just walk on by ..."
• "Billy, get back in the house. Your dungarees need washing."
• I believe "emotional awakening" is '50s code for "awkward, furtive sexual experiences."
• "SHE ... was an angel in lime green chiffon. HE ... was a telepath who could move trash cans with his mind. Together, they ruled ... Summer Street!"
• The great Bob Maguire! This cover is from his ... lesser period.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Well, go on. You said you'd die for me, so ... don't just sit there. Here, I'll give you a push. 1, 2, 3 ..."
• "The water sure is murky, Gloria. Murky like our hearts on account of we're star-crossed but I'm from the wrong side of the..." "Shut up, Billy. You gonna jump or what?"
• "His mother's confining affection..." — uh oh. "Mom, I need a real girl. One I'm not related to."
• I can't believe this cover doesn't tell us the book is "frank." "Unusual honesty and understanding" is sooooo something a "frank" story would contain.

Page 123~

In another moment she would fling herself upon him if he did not read the note. He lowered his eyes and found he had guessed right, though the message was not worded as expected. Simply and directly, it said: "Do you want to? Yes or no?"

Long story short—he does want to, and there follows one of those 1950s sex scenes that is all indirection and euphemism, all "avalanche of fire" and "plunging creature" and "swelling within himself" and "tremendous surge as if all that was himself had burst." The best part is that he comes first, but she won't stop until she comes too, so of course: "It was then that fear enveloped him again." No wonder he has that traumatized look on his face. "My genitals and I need some time alone, Miss McGillicuddy."

~RP

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Paperback 458: Gutter Gang / Jay de Bekker (Beacon Books B108)

Paperback 458: Beacon Books B158 (PBO, 1954)

Title: Gutter Gang
Author: Jay de Bekker
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $20


Best things about this cover:

• "Psst. Hey, Billy, you gonna hit that?" "Shut up, guys, that's my mom!"
• "Billy, you come home right now and do your chores! And take that cigarette out of your mouth this instant!" "Aw, mom...! You're makin' me look uncool in front of the guys..."
• Art director had only one note: "Grimier."
• I love '50s paranoia about JD (Juvenile Delinquency). I don't know who Norman Anthony is (whoa, I've said that before ...), but I'm sure he was hysterical.

Best things about this back cover:

• Well, when you have your midnight orgies in the parking lot of the A&P, that'll happen.
• "Sponsors"=not the word I was expecting. "Hey girls, let's all go to AA!" "Neato!"
• "B- B- B- Benny's name is Lesk!"
• Those poor, poor kids. Getting high, fucking ... I really pity them.
• This book has chapters with titles like "Muggin'," "Chicken," "Hot Gin," and, of course, "Chivalry"

Page 123~ (cheating: p. 122)

I ask him does he live with this folks, and he says he has a mother and a sister but no real father. He said he was a bastard, a real bastard."

I like how she talks about bastards like they were astronauts or yetis.

~RP

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Paperback 367: High School Confidential / Morton Cooper (Avon T-257)

Paperback 367: Avon T-257 (PBO, 1958)

Title: High School Confidential
Author: Morton Cooper
Cover artist: My hero (Uncredited!!!)

Yours for: $30


Best things about this cover:

• I wish I had this cover image in poster-sized form; I would frame it and hang it next to my movie poster of "The Beat Generation" (1959) or "The Big Operator" (1959) — I went through a Mamie Van Doren phase, what can I say?
• Why aren't books this pretty any more? Beautifully-sketched urban scene, awesomely attitudinal teen-agers, and confident, bold, eye-popping use of color. No idea what's going on with the title font, but I love it.
• Juvenile delinquency = my favorite '50s paranoia.

Best things about this back cover:

• Mamie!
• I can't believe I haven't seen this movie. From the description, I'd say there's nothing not to like about this movie. I mean, "hot-rod hipsters and jive-talking cool cats!?" What more do you want?
• Hmmm. I knew there was a John Barrymore. And I know Drew Barrymore. I did not, however, know there was a John Drew Barrymore. I wonder how the family reacted to the exciting news that John Drew would be getting third billing behind the likes of Russ Tamblyn and Jan Sterling.

Page 123~

She blinked at him. "Yup," she nodded agreeably. "Yup and double yup. Gonna do my duty," she promised, saluting patriotically only a moment before she caved in and fell to the nearest chair, apparently dead to the world.

"Yup and double yup." There's some jive-talking I insist on bringing back.

~RP

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Paperback 132: With Sirens Screaming / Ernest Booth (Pyramid Books 121)

Paperback 132: Pyramid Books 121 (1st ptg, 1954)
Title: With Sirens Screaming
Author: Ernest Booth
Cover artist: looks like Robert Stanley, but it's technically "uncredited"

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• "Who is it, Steve? Is the pizza here?"
• "They PAID the PRICE for a PREMARITAL indiscretion" - a PYRAMID PAPERBACK, featuring ... POLICE, and ... other "P" words you may have heard of
• "With Sirens Screaming" - Would have been better if the Sirens had been Screaming "Sin, Sin, Sin!"; what kind of alliteration-inducing dope were the copywriter guys smoking?
• What is she doing with that sheet? It's a little late for modesty, sweetheart.
• The lady looks concerned not, as you might expect, because the police have come to stone her to death for being a harlot, but because in attempting to rise from bed, she has broken or otherwise done something horrible to her left wrist
• Hey, Steve. Little advice. If you are trying to peer through a window discreetly, you might not wanna pull the curtains apart so wide.

"Hey, coppers, look at the hot piece of tail I got up in here! Yeah, you wish your wives were this hot!"

"[tee hee], oh Steve... you're funny, and not nearly as creepy and sadistic as my friends said you were"


Best things about this back cover:

• You had me at "merciless penal code."
• This back cover brought to you by "Adjectives 'R' Us" - where we believe that every shocking noun deserves a reckless adjective. If you aren't happy with our merciless service, we'll give you your vicious money back

Page 123~

His shoulder had become a burning area whose throbbing was cadenced to each step he took ...

"Uh ... that's not my shoulder."

~RP