Title: Witch Power
Author: Salambo Forest
Cover artist: photo cover
Estimated value: who knows? Somewhere from $7 to $25 to infinity…
[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]
- The best thing about this whole book, and the only reason to own it at all, is the author's name: SALAMBO FOREST. Please use it as your pseudonym, your troll name, your porn name … spread it far and wide across the internet. Long live Salambo Forest!
- Literally nothing about this photo says "Witch Power."
- I couldn't think of anything more to say about this cover so I opened the book to a random page and encountered the following contender for Least Erotic Phrase in a Sex Scene: "… her knee imbedded in his pubic hair." Wait, next page has another contender: "… closing him in a vaginal grasp."
- So they had, like, no budget for book design?
- I assume "White" and "black" here are metaphorical, but with this book, who the hell knows?
- This copy takes a jarring second-person turn midway through the first paragraph. "'You…' You mean 'me?' But … but I don't want to be touched by a beautiful albino … I mean, I'm sure she's nice, but …"
- I'm confused. I will accede ("accede"!?) to Seventh Heaven if I don't keep a tight grip on my everyday reality? But … isn't Seventh Heaven a good place? It sounds good. And what about my other, non-everyday realities? So many unanswered questions. Salambo Forest, release me from your enigmatic grip!
Page 123~*
"Mrs. Jegerdorf," she stated, as if the name itself were explanation enough.
If every any name explained itself, that name is Mrs. Jegerdorf. And now I have my new swear word! "MRS JEGERDORF, that hurt!" "Get off your phone, ya JEGERDORF!" Try it out.
~RP
*actually Page 122 … but it's in the paragraph that leads in to 123, so I gave it a pass.
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