My Postsecrets

I simply remember my favorite things...

I won't say that things are bad because they aren't, but time is moving faster than I'd like and my house is dirty. It puts me in a morose state of mind where I begin to question just about everything. So, in the spirit of keeping up my spirits and as a tribute to the song "My Favorite Things", here are a few of my favorite things at the moment:

10. Walmart's $5 Movie Bin

There has been a lot of good movies in there lately. This week I've bought Clueless, The Wedding Date, Dazed and Confused, Rat Race, and Footloose. Brandon got Where the Fuck is Santa (Bam Margera) and this stupid home-movie of a bunch of ass holes doing donuts on their motorcycles. All together we spent $35 on 7 movies. Pretty good deal.

9. uTorrent

Though some people would disagree with using a downloading program for illegal purposes, I have no qualms with it. Actresses and Actors make too much money, like sports stars. It's becoming a joke. This also goes for musicians. uTorrent is weary of viruses, thus I've had none so far. It's better than Limewire, Kazaa, or whatever else people are using.

8. Burt's Bees: Almond Milk Beeswax Hand Creme

I have issues with dry, irritated, allergic-to-something-still-unknown feet. The skin peels off in mass quantities and in places where the skin is still alive. It really hurts whether I'm walking on them or not. This hand creme is so good because its incredibly thick, penetrating, and super greasy. I scoop out a few fingers full and coat the soles of my feet with it then I put on socks to keep it soaking in all night. It really helps and my feet feel much better until another bout of the unknown comes along. It isn't so good for hands though since it is so greasy.

7. Ebay

I have scored some really neat, cheap items from good ol' Ebay. I was weary at first because of scams and Identity Theft but paypal has been really great and secure. I even have trouble accessing the account sometimes (which is good but also annoying). Once you buy one thing from Ebay, I guarantee you'll be addicted. It's a lot of fun in the middle of the night when I have insomnia and my debit card.

6. My Computer

I love my computer because it was custom built with my interests in mind. It has so much space on it that I will never fill it up. I have at least 30 movies on here and I'm not even at the halfway mark when it comes to space. If you are going to invest in a Desktop PC you should go the long route and specify what is most important to you or even pay a geek to build it instead. I haven't taken a photo of my computer so here is a photo my computer took of me instead.

5. The Duggar's

Who are the Duggar's and why do I love them? The Duggar's are a conservative Southern Baptist family residing in Arkansas. Jim Bob (dad) and Michelle (mom) have 18 children and Michelle is pregnant with the 19th now. All of the girls wear jean skirts and modest shirts and the boys usually wear colored polos and slacks. They are all home schooled around their gigantic kitchen table in their gigantic house by Michelle (mom). The reason I love them so much is because, even though they are incredibly religious, they are still real people.  They show kindness, don't push their religion, and never raise their voices. Their ideas about family life are the best I've ever seen and I've learned a lot from them. All of their kids have turned out respectful, honest, kind, and even fun. I don't agree with everything the family has done/said, but they've taught me that there are people behind the religion they believe in. People that deserve a chance rather than for me to close the book on them after finding out their ideas about life.

4. TLC after 2 PM

Honestly, I love TLC but only after A Baby Story, Birth Day, and What Not to Wear are over, which is sometime after 2 pm. I can only watch so many women go into labor on A Baby Story and Birth Day before it becomes the same thing over and over: lady after lady refusing an epidural then screaming in agony and realizing they were being snobs. What Not to Wear is the same thing over and over too: Stacy London bitching at some poor fashion victim and then a lot of shopping. But after those shows are the interesting ones about the Duggar's, 1000 pound mexican men, beauty queens, wedding dresses, "little people", and baby prostitutes. It is my guilt pleasure.

3. Hello Kitty

I have no idea why I like anything with Hello Kitty's face on it but I do. I feel sort of addicted. I wouldn't be surprised if Sanrio sprinkled crack on all Hello Kitty products. That red and white together plus a bow just gets me feeling excited.

2. The Office (US Version)

I love the Office because they were there for me when I didn't want anyone to be. I spent a lot time sitting alone forgetting about my present situations by chilling out and listening to the musings of Michael Scott and Dwight K. Shrute. The characters, the Office jingle, and small paper companies will always hold a special place in my heart.

1. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

I love Grilled Cheese sandwiches because they are easy to make, the ultimate comfort food, and covered in butter. They are also the only way I find American cheese to taste good and it tastes damn good between two greasy slabs of warm carbs.

So these are my favorite things right now. If I start to have a bad day or lay awak at night thinking of future events I would like to delete from my fate, I will do one of these things and probably feel better. I don't guarantee they'll stay in this order or even on this list but that makes life more fun.

Baby Prostitutes

If you watch TLC then you've probably seen commercials (or even the show itself) for "Toddlers and Tiaras". If not, the show follows various little girls from all over the United States as they put on fake eye lashes, false teeth, hair pieces, make up, and get spray tans in order to be crowned "The Grand Supreme" (mmm...reminds me of Taco Bell!) in beauty pageants.

The girls who enter these "competitions" range in personality from genuinely sweet to raging toddlers bitches. Usually you find out by the end of the show that TLC isn't condoning child beauty pageants but instead shedding light on America's most perverse house wife hobby. In fact, TLC has to do absolutely nothing but sit back and watch as the toddlers' mothers dig themselves a nasty hole. Obviously, these parents are brain-less for agreeing to be on the show as none of them come out looking like sane moms.

In the worst display of parenting I've seen on this show, the TLC crew follows the Sterling twins. They are twin girls with common names spruced up by random capitalization (AshLyn and BreAnne) that compete against each other in every pageant they enter. In the clip below, it is obvious who the mother favors:




Not included in the clip are scenes where the mother puts AshLyn in a ripped dress, BreAnne tells AshLyn she is better than her, and the mom says "I'm surprised AshLyn won something" upon winning the neatest award, "Director's Choice".

The first that comes to mind when I think of beauty pageants is the Jon Benet murder. The little girl was looked at like a sex object and murdered by a deranged pedophile. Don't these parents know that there is someone in the audience looking at their little girls and imagining places they could fit their dick?

Being a parent of a little girl, she will never enter into any competition that involves toddlers strutting their baby asses on stage in a bikini and lip stick. It begs me to ask what the point of pageants even are? Pageant directors and pageant moms say that it is a great way for their kids to gain confidence and make friends. Lies. Children can do that playing soccer, in school, by taking a ballet class, and even on the jungle gym. The point of beauty pageants is to tell everyone you have the sexiest 5 year old.

On that note, if you haven't seen "Little Miss Sunshine" get to your nearest Blockbuster.

Today was drab.

Today was drab. It lightly rained all day, the sun never broke through the thick cloud cover, and I couldn't find my flippy floppies anywhere. I needed them to get our very large garbage can from the end of street and I was pressed for time as we are charged $25 for not having our trash bins in before 5pm. I wore Brandon's giant man slippers instead.

I took two online exams for a class that I am going to ultimately fail, but I figured I would at least try. Lily pooped on the floor while I was on the phone. That was before I washed her high-chair from top to bottom. I didn't get dressed beyond clean pajamas nor did I do my hair (since Brandon broke my hair dryer when he opened it up to "work on the wires").

I like drab days.


In other news, I've found the key to love and happiness... LARD. I guess looking like I eat lard isn't good enough?