Category Archives: Islam

Christianity, Eve Garden God, Islam, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

I Wonder?

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Shayla, Hijab, Hijab Amira, Khimar, Chador, Niqab, Burqa, Catholic Nun habits, pioneer dresses, Victorian fashion, various religious habits and so on.

Which of these is modest enough for Lori Alexander to keep men from being violent towards women?

Does she think women who have their ankles covered, their breasts hidden and their ears tucked in are not raped?

My great-grandmother was modest from head to toe and that didn’t stop her philandering husband from coming home, beating her, raping her and beating my grandfather.  Perhaps the top of her neck turned him on?  If only that ruffle under her chin was a little bit higher.  No wait, probably her eye colour.  If only she had kept her gaze downwards, or covered her eyes with a veil?  Maybe her fingers lured him, how whorish of her not to wear gloves to cover those tempting knuckles, never mind those worn down hard working finger nails.  Poor dear great-grandpa.  How could he help himself?  After all, that’s the way God made him, right?

Context Here ->  Bruce’s blog post

Aging, Agnosticism/Atheism, American Billboards, Blogging, Christian Years, Christianity, conspiracy, Emotions, Healing, Heretic Years, Humanist, Islam, Leaving Christianity, Life, Pain, Personal Memoirs, Personal Recovery, Politics, QAnon and others, Salvation Seasons, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk, Zoe's favourites

In case anyone else wants to know where I’m coming from, where I’ve been and where I’m headed.

26 Comments

Violet: “If I were asked which country in the world hates the US the most, I would have to say it’s Canada.”

Zoe:  I would say if I was asked, the U.S. does a fine job of hating itself and one another.  Then maybe China and North Korea might hate you more than Canadians.  Of course, I don’t know which Canadians or Canadian bloggers you are referring too.

Violet:  “I don’t know why, but it seems it’s a Canadian religion to bash Americans every chance they get. You know what’s odd? I almost never hear of Americans having vitriol for our neighbors North of the boarder.”

Zoe:  Almost never but sometimes?

Violet:  “I notice that you never talk about your own country on this blog, but persistently harp on every flaw Americans have. I’ve read many Canadian blogs but have had to bow out of all of them for this same reason.”

Zoe:  I gave up talking about my own country when my adult children assumed positions in the community and province that would expose them if people knew who their mom was and what she was writing online.  That’s also when I chose the option for search engines to ignore my blog.  I also moved here to this new url (14 years ago according to my WordPress Anniversary notice last week) when I made those decisions.  Up and until then I was followed by bloggers all over the world in the Christian community.  During that time I spoke up politically about Canada frequently as it pertained to religion, not just Christianity but often involving Islam.  I wrote frequently about honour killings and wrote a long article encouraging a former Premier to outlaw Sharia law.  The next day he did.  Did he see my article?  I don’t know.   The point being I was a prolific writer and at that time unafraid in regards to my government.  I have been a political person my entire life, having written to my Canadian government during my college years as well as being outspoken in the community, medical and educational system.  I’ve also had politicians in my family.  It’s in me.  As well I have been an advocate for the abused outside the church, for those with special needs, for those who are dying and in the mental health field.  At one point, I became very concerned about exposure and people figuring out who Zoe was/is.  I also developed a fear because I was outspoken regarding Islam and the honour killings happening here.  I was brave then.  I’m not now.  And though I wrote about this in a previous blog and during my busier blogging days, I was scared to death of a former friend’s “lover” who at one time was involved with (removed as this info. can still trigger me).  Shortly after being verbally and abusively in written form, attacked by her, my husband had to pick me up off the floor from being shattered in a million pieces as she told me I was an abomination to the Lord and responsible for raising and immoral and corrupt generation of children.  Narcissists love to hit you where your strengths are.  Meanwhile she’s carrying on an affair with a converted preacher (removed this info. as it is still triggering) guy.  But I’m the abomination.  And just sharing that there is too much information to put in a blog.

In my 30’s I fought for my life with severe illness, spending almost 2 years in bed, only later to be hospitalized and fighting for my life sick with intestinal disease as well as battling a body and mind that were deteriorating.  If I’m not mistaken, you suffer as well.  In my 40’s I began to deconstruct my religion and belief system understanding that I was falling apart emotionally and mentally due to Christian abuse and felt the extreme weight of guilt and shame for having taken part in it, raising my children in it, losing friends over it and being active in youth ministry.   As well, I began to develop deep understanding of the roots of original trauma from my youth.  I’ve never been the same since.  This blog is read by maybe 6 people though all kinds of people *follow* it and commenting here is at a minimum.  You have been privy I believe to some of my password protected posts and know some of the shit I’ve been through.  You also know I’m not a human being who ignores the humanity of other people.

Violet:  “We’re PEOPLE, Zoe. Just people, trying to get through our day despite being ruled by an imperfect government. Just like everyone else on earth.”

Zoe:  On the night I posted David Frum’s Twitter message, I had been texting my close friend who is American and lives in Michigan.  She told me she was terribly depressed about the U.S. President, the postal service debacle, and told me “Don’t come here, it’s awful!”  She forgot that we can’t go there as our border is not open.  My point being, she was terribly upset and in the years I’ve known her I have not heard her admit to this kind of depression.  I tried to lift her spirits and planned to talk to her the next day.  And so I did for several hours.  She kept asking why these people in the U.S. believed Trump.  How can they not see he’s lying, his narcissism, his cruelty.  We talked about David Frum’s Twitter message.  I found it interesting, so I posted it.  She hesitated to talk about the QAnon stuff because she knows it triggers me and I told her we both could talk about it since we both were upset about it.  I don’t go on and on in writing anymore Violet.  I’m tired.  I’m no longer going to invest in the behind the scenes explanations.  No one reads here because I write great instructive exposes on anything.  This is like a personal diary that I sometimes write poorly in and for the most part anyone that reads here and sometimes comments here has done so with grace.  I suspect many have moved on.   And that’s not a problem with me.  Every day I think about moving on too.  Often I can’t even form sentences anymore.  I might start something and not bother with commentary on it.  I’m just putting it here for something to do.

Anything I write regarding the U.S. is because I’m fucking shitless scared of the world we are living in.  Yes Violet, I’m a people too.  And yes, the U.S. is a big part of my life from the time my ancestors landed on your eastern shores.  The branch I was in stayed loyal to the throne and headed north.   Others stayed south.  In doing so, some of my ancestors died before they got here.  They were considered traitors.  Some of my ancestors came up the St. Lawrence and participated in establishing a Christian religion and nation by eliminating Indigenous peoples all in the name of Christ.

The U.S. Southern Baptists highly influenced the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church here in Canada and to tell you the truth, the U.S. was the bees knees and we were beneath them when it came to the one true religion.  Our speakers on creationism, evolution, abortion and demonic activity travelled from the U.S. to tell us all about it.  The gospel groups came from the U.S. to sing their praises.  Our printed materials for Sunday School came from the U.S.  to indoctrinate our children.  Our youth programming came from the U.S.  Seminars and mission events were held in the U.S.  We were inundated with the U.S. conservative evangelical movement and when the church growth movement started, we did it too.  During my short stint in Bible College some of our full-time profs were Americans.

We have friends and family in the U.S.  By the way, the U.S. family are very conservative and think we Canadians aren’t the sharpest tools in the tool chest.  Talk about vitriol.

When I came online in 2001 , to forums looking for help with spiritual abuse I knew not one Canadian.  When I started blogging a few years later, I still did not know one Canadian blogger.  When it came to Christian blogs they were American.  I literally lived in the American Christian world day and night online.  The books I read were written my American authors.  The forums were run by Americans.  It formed my world view both religiously and politically.  And though when I deconstructed what I use to believe I slowly left that world with as much grace as I could knowing that once again I was disappointing people I had networked with for years.

When I started writing as an agnostic and then an agnostic atheist I found only one online atheist woman and she was American.  She stopped blogging years ago.   Later I found John Loftus’s blog and though it was way out of my league that’s where I started to learn of others who had left Christianity and were blogging about it.  Then over the years, ex-Christian blogs blew up all over the place and guess what?  All American.  I was still fully engaged in the U.S. as we all wrote about, commented on and discussed leaving the faith.  I think a few other Canadians were in the mix but I no longer know as I myself don’t read hardly any blogs.  If you look at my list of blog sites, almost all of them are dormant as many people aren’t blogging anymore.  I still leave some of their blogs listed just in case by chance someone pops in here looking for information and maybe then they can find stuff that will help them with their doubt and changing beliefs.  Maybe they won’t feel so alone.

So I’ve just sat around in here, though less and less as the years pass by, toying a bit  I suppose with what might have been or what should have been.   Then Covid-19 startled not only me, but you and an entire universe with traumatic changes.  I decided to try and develop a cohesive way of learning about QAnon and trying to understand mom so that every single time I am in touch with her I am not literally slain and knocked off my feet for days, weeks &/or months at a time.  And I’m sorry but I can’t talk about QAnon without talking about the U.S. President, his government and the people who believe it.  And yes, we have QAnon here in Canada but every bit of mom’s stuff comes from U.S. websites.  So I am pissed beyond measure.  I’ve been traumatized since Trump came down the escalator.  I’m not the only one.  And yes I know people are dying and starving and killing one another and despairing.  I bloody well know that Violet.  And though you aren’t reading this, I’m content to know you’ve moved on because this blog doesn’t meet your expectations anymore.  Hell, it doesn’t meet mine, apart from the fact that I can come in here because it is my blog and prattle on about what ever it is that is making me sick to my stomach at the moment.

Violet:  “I initially came to this blog because we both had similar experiences of being beaten down by religion. Religion was something I was born into and had no control over when I was a child. Now I’m leaving this blog because because I’m being beaten down for being American…something I was also born into and have no control over. You can say I’m taking things too personally, but when I read post after post of hatred toward the US, I feel unwelcome here.”

Zoe:  You can take it personally.  If there’s anything I’ve learned now by age 64 is that a woman has every right to take whatever it is that she finds offensive and hateful and leave.  I don’t hate the U.S. Violet.  That is over the top.  It’s because I care that I’m angry, scared and traumatized by what’s going on.   I am taking what is going on in the U.S. personally.  You want to blame me for hating the U.S. go ahead.  I only hate Trump and the goons who once ran against him and all said on tape that he was terrible in every way shape or form.  Now they have bowed down to him and kissed his ass.  Yes, I take that personally because as the U.S. goes often the world goes and it damn well affects/effects Canadians too.  As well, right from the start, what is going on in the U.S. government reminds me hook, line and sinker of my days in church.  Is this all stuff for a therapist?  Yup.

Violet:  “I wish you only the best on your journey. My journey leads me elsewhere now.”

Zoe:  Okay.  You may feel unwelcome here.  I would never dispute what you feel.  For the sake of people who may read here and wonder, people who have the password to my password protected posts are not unwelcome and Violet, that includes you.  I don’t give my password out to just anybody.  There are people who have asked and I’ve said, no.  We are people and there’s so much more to both of us as human beings than what is shared on this one blog.

Addendum:  For those reading this, I apologize for the discomfort.  I’m feeling it too.  I do not expect anyone to feel they have to respond &/or comment.  We’re all entitled to come and go and to give voice.

“Say what you want to say and let the words fall out, honestly . . . ” (from the Brave song.)

Islam

Twisted Tale

5 Comments

The Promised Messiah*as Has Come is the title on the flyer a family of Muslims delivered this week to our mailboxes.  Inside the flyer a sub-title; Prophecies From The Bible Regarding The Second Coming Of Jesus Christ *as.

Then 5 Scriptures from Luke, Mathew (with one *T*) and Daniel.

Next page a photo of Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad *as (1835 – 1908) The Promised Messiah and Imam Mahdi Founder of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Jama’at.  (Suppose to be an accent over the last second *a* in Jama’at.

As I read the little paragraph about the mission of this sect of Islam I could only notice the parallels with some denominations of Christianity who put out similar flyers and or tracts. This brochure points out that their sect of Islam is “the true picture of Islam” and their mission “is to convey to the whole world.”  This sect has the “pristine and pure form.”

  • *as – I used the asterisk to note this phrase sits up a bit higher than the rest of the text and I didn’t know but do now, it stands for ‘peace be on him.’

Yesterday I had a conversation with a Catholic friend.  As I was talking and describing the brand of evangelism I was in, I was often hit with silence.  She was trying to understand.  It was in that silence that I literally felt wasted.  How does one describe this?  I described being once saved always saved.  Then I described how yet, though saved there was this constant lack of security among the so-called “saved forever.” She explained that Catholics don’t believe in once saved always saved.  I wondered if that was the case for the born-again charismatic evangelical sects of Catholicism.  I didn’t wonder out loud though.

When I was finished my conversation and contemplating my navel again, it occurred to me that trying to describe it made me feel crazy and I then wondered if to others it does sound crazy.  It’s such a twisted tale to tell.

Islam, Secular Wings

At What Price?

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I wonder if the faithful who attend the Hajj know they may die?  Do they know there is a good chance they’ll die in a stampede or are they unaware that such a thing happens with regularity during the Hajj?

Of course government officials know there will likely be a stampede and mass death and injury to the faithful.  Do they care?

Last week we saw on the news that the pilgrimage was about to start again.  I said to Biker Dude, “I wonder how many people will die from being trampled this year?”  Cue the news today and the numbers once again are staggering.  And of those injured, we’ll never know how many are dealing with life-altering injuries for the rest of their lives.

Part of me wonders if the faithful know the risks but somehow believe if they should die it is Allah’s will and if it is Allah’s will and they die as a result of attending the pilgrimage maybe they’ll get a martyr’s reward in paradise?  Another part of me wonders if it isn’t considered some sort of population control by the government.  Well this year if we’re lucky we’ll eliminate several hundred people from the area making more room for the rest of us.  Of course, perhaps the dead and maimed are from far away.  Maybe they finally saved enough money to travel to Mecca for this glorious religious pilgrimage. I hope if that was the case they said a fond farewell to their families back home and had their affairs in order.  I hope their family members back home take heed and forego their own pilgrimage one day.

Seems a terrible price to pay.

Agnosticism/Atheism, Islam, Secular Wings

Militant Zoe

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Muslim Prayer Room at Catholic Secondary School.

I’m tired of this and it makes me more militant about secularism than I want to be.

You cannot teach, that is get a full-time contract with the Ontario Catholic School boards unless you are a Catholic.  Our current Ontario Premiere Dalton McGuinty put that legislation through I think it was back in the year 2000.  It’s legal.  They have the right to only hire Catholic teachers for long-term full-time positions.  Getting a job in the Public School System right now is nearly impossible.  So, if you want to teach and you have no problem with conversion whether you believe it or not, convert to Catholicism.   You’ll better your options for getting a job.  I was talking with a friend recently who told me an entire family converted to Catholicism in order to get their children into a Catholic school  that is near their residence.  This way the children can cross the road to school and not have to be bused.

This year I heard a round-table discussion on t.v. (I don’t remember the show.  If I remember I’ll insert it here at a later time.)  The topic?  Catholic teachers not being very Catholic.  That’s right.  Not attending Mass on a regular basis, which I’m sure has implications regarding confessional issues.  God!  What kind of teachers are teaching our kids if they haven’t been in the confessional to tell Father about their continued issues with masturbation?  Apparently there is a dogmatic push for Catholic’s to start looking like Catholics by practicing Catholic behaviour in Catholic churches.  Too many Catholics are too liberal and too cavalier about their Catholicism.  In other words, they aren’t good Catholics.  *sigh*  Yes, let’s police those bad Catholics and dump their sorry asses on to the unemployment sidewalk because they haven’t met Mass attendance requirements.   Why anyone thinks that looking more Catholic makes anyone a Catholic or a better Catholic or an honourable Catholic is beyond me.

And now . . . now a prayer room for the Muslim students.  Several years ago a crucifix had to come down from the wall in one of the Catholic school classrooms because a Muslim student was offended by the cross.  I don’t get it.  The system is dogmatically set up for Catholicism and it grows more dogmatic it seems to me as the Catholics turn up their evangelistic efforts.  Yet, what is this prayer room all about?  I don’t get it.  I’m for secular education in our schools.  If you want your children educated in religion, do it at home and in your faith-based buildings.  If we teach religion in our schools then teach them all.  If we allow a Muslim prayer room then set one up for all religions and don’t forget one for atheists.  Okay, so we atheists don’t pray but we wouldn’t mind having a room where we could gather and reason together.

Christianity, Islam, Politics, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse

And low, the Infidels are always with us.

24 Comments

After reading Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s books ‘Infidel’ and ‘Nomad’ (not quite finished Nomad) I would have to say for the most part, that I agree with the author of this article, Mischief in Manhattan  from the Ottawa Citizen.  Though I am still uneasy with the idea of moderate Islam, just as I’m uneasy about moderate Christianity.  I think moderates cherry pick their way through the Bible and the Quran as much as anyone does.  I am uneasy with the thought that moderate might mean complacency when one is silent in the face of  the rights of women and children.  Within moderate Christianity there appears to be a letting-go of Biblical literalism.  Is this so with moderate Muslims?  Is the Quran Allah’s perfect book without error or not?

I understand why people would be offended at the building of this “community centre” near Ground Zero.  Not even ten years later, it must seem like a sick joke.  In fact, I’m sure our Native Americans feel the same way when they see our monuments in place of theirs.  Healing takes time and in the end, does that kind of healing ever truly take place? 

Can you imagine the glee of the extremists at such a notion?  A Ground Zero Islamic Community Centre.  Take that you Infidels!  Up yours!

I wonder though, how will the extremists/fundamentalists take to the women swimming in the swimming pool?  Will their bodies be covered, head to toe?  Then again, perhaps the women of the fundamentalist sects won’t be allowed out of the house to use the swimming pool?  Or they’ll be let out, covered, but with a male escort.  But then again, that might be difficult for the male escort because even if he sees one bit of her flesh or other men see one bit of her flesh this could cause sexual weakness on his part and she’d be responsible for his sin and then she’d be in danger of Sharia law for dishonouring her male escort/relative…and well who knows?  A simple swim at the pool and she never returns home.

Oh I know, this all seems so politically incorrect of me but why do we in modern societies not realize that Islam is not the religion of peace it claims to be any more than Christianity is.  Yes, we can cherry pick and make them religions of peace and many people live in that context but I think we error in thinking the mindset behind any kind of religious extremism in the West is of little consequence. 

Fear mongering?  I don’t know.  Ask our Indigenous populations, (what’s left of them around the world) if it’s fear mongering.  Maybe it’s the collective guilt of our past God-inspired, Holy Book Covering, conquer and convert actions and beliefs of the past that make us prone to sleep off any attempts to take note that behind closed doors, women and children are being abused in families with out-dated cultural and religious beliefs.  If an Islamic Community Centre is going to be built, then use the funds to educate and empower Muslims to live in the West not with the eventual hidden agenda of conquering the West and killing the Infidels (some of which are their own people by the way…honour killings ring a bell?)

Is this a way to heal, building this place so close to the victor’s succesful jihad?  I don’t think so.  It may be legal to build it under a freedom of religion act, but how much freedom do women and children actually experience in the religion of Islam or for that matter, any religion who takes their Holy books as the literal word of their God(s)?  Looking specifically at Sharia law.  Sharia may be legal within Islam; but, is it legal in a modern democratic society?  Is female genital mutilation legal in a modern democratic society?  Is forced marriage legal in a modern democratic society?  If the Muslim says yes to all of these things because they believe Allah’s law is greater than modern democratic law, then maybe freedom of religion is a bad idea.

Rather complicated, isn’t it.  I don’t think religion is going anywhere but I sure hope that it evolves enough that people stop taking their holy books as literal correspondence from their holy ones.  I hope they start looking at the texts in light of the tribal clans who passed this stuff down and realize that history bares out a lot of jihad has been going on since the dawn of civilization and still the Infidel lives on.