Tag Archives: salvation

conspiracy, Death, Life, Politics, QAnon and others, Salvation Seasons, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

Northrup and Surviving Death

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More exerts from Northrup Instagram videos.  I’ve taken to shredding any notes I’ve taken after I copy them in here.  I never quite know what I’ll do with them and sometimes they sit in draft form waiting to see if I’ll bother at all with them.  I haven’t watched the Netflix Surviving Death Series.  I don’t have Netflix.  I was curious when I heard her bring it up. 

*Possible Triggers in my commentary.

Jan. 11/21 – 8 minute mark, Christiane Northrup Instagram video

I’ve just been watching an incredible Netflix show called Surviving Death and I was talking last night to Jacqueline who is Oracle Girl and she said the death space is changing so things will actually be easier for those who are leaving. We also discussed the fact that at the current vibratory rate of the planet umm it’s really not going to be possible to detox the effects of the “V” (hand gesture for word vaccine) because it is a ___ (not sure the word she used) it’s not really a “V” (hand gesture) it’s something entirely different, it’s genetic engineering and it is designed to ah change you in a way that a GMO seed is no longer a living natural seed.

Zoe:  What is interesting to me here is this “death space.”  I see this as a tactic to ease the emotional fear out there that is happening amongst her followers with the pandemic. 

Jan. 12/21 – 11:15

… and she too confirms that many many people will be leaving and it seems so wonderful to me that on Netflix we now have this Surviving Death series and Ron came in and said, “Did you see me?” And I was out walking the dog (personal story about encountering her deceased husband in nature) … and so what I want you to know there are many mediums in this group by the way. There are many mediums and we know that you don’t need to have all the rigamarole, you know, all the um the seance stuff, be chained to a chair, I mean they show all of that in the Netflix Special umm but we don’t need any of that …

Also when someone is in the final stages of being here on earth they’ll often talk about relatives or whoever they see on the other side. They begin having whole conversations. This is something we have seen so many times but our culture has been so afraid of denying death that we haven’t ah taught our children about this …

(With about two minutes left) . . . but I think the main thing is to understand that on some level there is no death and we’re at the time of The Great Awakening. The other thing Janon (sp?) (a medium) is that I will be alive to see the fruits of everything I’ve done since I was born on this planet. I will, I will live to see it rolled out in a big way and of course every single one of you is part of that as well, so, check out David Martin, keep the vibrations high and uh you can go to . . . (lists different sites you can go to for info.)

Zoe:  And so isn’t it great at this time of great departure (deaths) we have a series we can watch on T.V. about surviving death.  How serendipity is that?  Of course, not so serendipity.  Just part of “the plan” if you are awake and listening.  Not a coincidence at all.

So far in various videos I’ve listened too I think Northrup’s deceased husband has shown up as a great blue heron, I think maybe I remember her saying something about another kind of bird and, as a frog.   These are considered “signs” that Ron is with her.   I’m no expert on reincarnation or the after-life, so I have no idea how Ron zips from one species to another day to day.

I find it interesting that she separates herself and the other warriors (her followers) from the necessity of “um the seance stuff.” Our way is the better way said the Calvinist to the Catholic.

I have observed the dying talking to family or whomever.  Are they talking to someone on the other side or is this simply the  memories of a dying brain?  As I sat with my mother-in-law near the very end of her life, I listened to her as she baked cookies with her sisters in the kitchen of her mind.  She mentioned one sister who had already died.  One she was closest too.  The other two were still alive.  So, they certainly weren’t all together on the “other side” since two of them were still alive.  I was comforted by her kitchen memories.  She was a great cook and baker.  Here she was doing what she loved to do as her body and mind slowly slipped away.  Should anyone be surprised by that.  Can it just be left at that or must we “add” more to it?  If we feel the need to add more to it, who benefits from doing so?

I don’t think I agree with her regarding not teaching our children about death.  Billions of people have a belief in a God or Gods.  Those beliefs have a heaven, some have a hell, others have some sort of after-life existence.  Certainly, Christianity teaches rewards after death as well as punishment after death.  If anything, we do the opposite.  We teach them a lot about death by inventing belief systems that are suppose to make them feel better about it. 

Where is little Johnnie?  He is in heaven.  

Where’s grandpa?  With the Lord.

Doesn’t sound like “denying death” to me.

If anything, aren’t humans focused more on death than living?

And so she continues on by saying that really though, at some level there is no death at all.  Like there is a death but it’s not really death, so chill, it’ll be okay.  Besides, The Great Awakening is here.  It’s time.  This is so reminiscent of my former Christianity.  Don’t worry, be happy, The Rapture is here.  It’s time.

But lucky for Northrup, she’s going to live to see the fruits of her labours.  How does she know?  A medium told her.  And just so Northrup’s followers don’t despair, guess what?  Even if you don’t live to see it, just know you were a part of it too.  Ah yes, the Northrup martyrs.  Hallelujah though.  The Great Awakening.  No more death?  The New Earth?  Where have I heard that before.

Jan. 15/21 – near the end of the video 

I was also you know, thinking about umm what I want to say to the people in my life who are reaching transition. There’s a couple of them and you know, what you would like to ask them to come back as so that you would know that they were right there. That episode of umm Surviving Death is very inspiring. I mean when the cardinal just comes out of the wild and sits on the woman’s shoulder and they hold it and you know the bird is obviously her mother, um the signs are so interesting … it’s very, it’s very uplifting.

And as usual I want to you to stay away from the mainstream media, really important. Really especially now, it’s really really important.

Zoe:  Transition.  Death.  Reincarnation.  Is this reincarnation?  Can we ask them to come back as a human being named Fred or Sally and ask them to give us a code word so we’ll know it’s Sam or Rita?  I mean I certainly wouldn’t want to ask Biker Dude to come back as a frog.  I mean I could but what if he doesn’t want too.  Maybe he’d rather be a butterfly or a hawk or a hippopotamus.  Better yet, don’t die.  The Great Awakening is here.  It’s time.

Is this uplifting?  Apparently, for many people it is.  Death is eternal.  Coping with it is eternal too . . . or so it seems.

In closing my dear Warriors of the Light, whatever you do, do not fall into temptation and follow the evil “mainstream media.”  It’s triple important now more than ever . . . please stay away.  You will only hear lies and propaganda that comes from the darkest pits of hell.  It is only safe here.  We can do this.  We need to stay together.  We need you.  We’re almost there.

The best evangelists are the ones who spread the fear first, then offer the salvation.

 

Aging, Agnosticism/Atheism, American Billboards, Blogging, Christian Years, Christianity, conspiracy, Emotions, Healing, Heretic Years, Humanist, Islam, Leaving Christianity, Life, Pain, Personal Memoirs, Personal Recovery, Politics, QAnon and others, Salvation Seasons, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk, Zoe's favourites

In case anyone else wants to know where I’m coming from, where I’ve been and where I’m headed.

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Violet: “If I were asked which country in the world hates the US the most, I would have to say it’s Canada.”

Zoe:  I would say if I was asked, the U.S. does a fine job of hating itself and one another.  Then maybe China and North Korea might hate you more than Canadians.  Of course, I don’t know which Canadians or Canadian bloggers you are referring too.

Violet:  “I don’t know why, but it seems it’s a Canadian religion to bash Americans every chance they get. You know what’s odd? I almost never hear of Americans having vitriol for our neighbors North of the boarder.”

Zoe:  Almost never but sometimes?

Violet:  “I notice that you never talk about your own country on this blog, but persistently harp on every flaw Americans have. I’ve read many Canadian blogs but have had to bow out of all of them for this same reason.”

Zoe:  I gave up talking about my own country when my adult children assumed positions in the community and province that would expose them if people knew who their mom was and what she was writing online.  That’s also when I chose the option for search engines to ignore my blog.  I also moved here to this new url (14 years ago according to my WordPress Anniversary notice last week) when I made those decisions.  Up and until then I was followed by bloggers all over the world in the Christian community.  During that time I spoke up politically about Canada frequently as it pertained to religion, not just Christianity but often involving Islam.  I wrote frequently about honour killings and wrote a long article encouraging a former Premier to outlaw Sharia law.  The next day he did.  Did he see my article?  I don’t know.   The point being I was a prolific writer and at that time unafraid in regards to my government.  I have been a political person my entire life, having written to my Canadian government during my college years as well as being outspoken in the community, medical and educational system.  I’ve also had politicians in my family.  It’s in me.  As well I have been an advocate for the abused outside the church, for those with special needs, for those who are dying and in the mental health field.  At one point, I became very concerned about exposure and people figuring out who Zoe was/is.  I also developed a fear because I was outspoken regarding Islam and the honour killings happening here.  I was brave then.  I’m not now.  And though I wrote about this in a previous blog and during my busier blogging days, I was scared to death of a former friend’s “lover” who at one time was involved with (removed as this info. can still trigger me).  Shortly after being verbally and abusively in written form, attacked by her, my husband had to pick me up off the floor from being shattered in a million pieces as she told me I was an abomination to the Lord and responsible for raising and immoral and corrupt generation of children.  Narcissists love to hit you where your strengths are.  Meanwhile she’s carrying on an affair with a converted preacher (removed this info. as it is still triggering) guy.  But I’m the abomination.  And just sharing that there is too much information to put in a blog.

In my 30’s I fought for my life with severe illness, spending almost 2 years in bed, only later to be hospitalized and fighting for my life sick with intestinal disease as well as battling a body and mind that were deteriorating.  If I’m not mistaken, you suffer as well.  In my 40’s I began to deconstruct my religion and belief system understanding that I was falling apart emotionally and mentally due to Christian abuse and felt the extreme weight of guilt and shame for having taken part in it, raising my children in it, losing friends over it and being active in youth ministry.   As well, I began to develop deep understanding of the roots of original trauma from my youth.  I’ve never been the same since.  This blog is read by maybe 6 people though all kinds of people *follow* it and commenting here is at a minimum.  You have been privy I believe to some of my password protected posts and know some of the shit I’ve been through.  You also know I’m not a human being who ignores the humanity of other people.

Violet:  “We’re PEOPLE, Zoe. Just people, trying to get through our day despite being ruled by an imperfect government. Just like everyone else on earth.”

Zoe:  On the night I posted David Frum’s Twitter message, I had been texting my close friend who is American and lives in Michigan.  She told me she was terribly depressed about the U.S. President, the postal service debacle, and told me “Don’t come here, it’s awful!”  She forgot that we can’t go there as our border is not open.  My point being, she was terribly upset and in the years I’ve known her I have not heard her admit to this kind of depression.  I tried to lift her spirits and planned to talk to her the next day.  And so I did for several hours.  She kept asking why these people in the U.S. believed Trump.  How can they not see he’s lying, his narcissism, his cruelty.  We talked about David Frum’s Twitter message.  I found it interesting, so I posted it.  She hesitated to talk about the QAnon stuff because she knows it triggers me and I told her we both could talk about it since we both were upset about it.  I don’t go on and on in writing anymore Violet.  I’m tired.  I’m no longer going to invest in the behind the scenes explanations.  No one reads here because I write great instructive exposes on anything.  This is like a personal diary that I sometimes write poorly in and for the most part anyone that reads here and sometimes comments here has done so with grace.  I suspect many have moved on.   And that’s not a problem with me.  Every day I think about moving on too.  Often I can’t even form sentences anymore.  I might start something and not bother with commentary on it.  I’m just putting it here for something to do.

Anything I write regarding the U.S. is because I’m fucking shitless scared of the world we are living in.  Yes Violet, I’m a people too.  And yes, the U.S. is a big part of my life from the time my ancestors landed on your eastern shores.  The branch I was in stayed loyal to the throne and headed north.   Others stayed south.  In doing so, some of my ancestors died before they got here.  They were considered traitors.  Some of my ancestors came up the St. Lawrence and participated in establishing a Christian religion and nation by eliminating Indigenous peoples all in the name of Christ.

The U.S. Southern Baptists highly influenced the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church here in Canada and to tell you the truth, the U.S. was the bees knees and we were beneath them when it came to the one true religion.  Our speakers on creationism, evolution, abortion and demonic activity travelled from the U.S. to tell us all about it.  The gospel groups came from the U.S. to sing their praises.  Our printed materials for Sunday School came from the U.S.  to indoctrinate our children.  Our youth programming came from the U.S.  Seminars and mission events were held in the U.S.  We were inundated with the U.S. conservative evangelical movement and when the church growth movement started, we did it too.  During my short stint in Bible College some of our full-time profs were Americans.

We have friends and family in the U.S.  By the way, the U.S. family are very conservative and think we Canadians aren’t the sharpest tools in the tool chest.  Talk about vitriol.

When I came online in 2001 , to forums looking for help with spiritual abuse I knew not one Canadian.  When I started blogging a few years later, I still did not know one Canadian blogger.  When it came to Christian blogs they were American.  I literally lived in the American Christian world day and night online.  The books I read were written my American authors.  The forums were run by Americans.  It formed my world view both religiously and politically.  And though when I deconstructed what I use to believe I slowly left that world with as much grace as I could knowing that once again I was disappointing people I had networked with for years.

When I started writing as an agnostic and then an agnostic atheist I found only one online atheist woman and she was American.  She stopped blogging years ago.   Later I found John Loftus’s blog and though it was way out of my league that’s where I started to learn of others who had left Christianity and were blogging about it.  Then over the years, ex-Christian blogs blew up all over the place and guess what?  All American.  I was still fully engaged in the U.S. as we all wrote about, commented on and discussed leaving the faith.  I think a few other Canadians were in the mix but I no longer know as I myself don’t read hardly any blogs.  If you look at my list of blog sites, almost all of them are dormant as many people aren’t blogging anymore.  I still leave some of their blogs listed just in case by chance someone pops in here looking for information and maybe then they can find stuff that will help them with their doubt and changing beliefs.  Maybe they won’t feel so alone.

So I’ve just sat around in here, though less and less as the years pass by, toying a bit  I suppose with what might have been or what should have been.   Then Covid-19 startled not only me, but you and an entire universe with traumatic changes.  I decided to try and develop a cohesive way of learning about QAnon and trying to understand mom so that every single time I am in touch with her I am not literally slain and knocked off my feet for days, weeks &/or months at a time.  And I’m sorry but I can’t talk about QAnon without talking about the U.S. President, his government and the people who believe it.  And yes, we have QAnon here in Canada but every bit of mom’s stuff comes from U.S. websites.  So I am pissed beyond measure.  I’ve been traumatized since Trump came down the escalator.  I’m not the only one.  And yes I know people are dying and starving and killing one another and despairing.  I bloody well know that Violet.  And though you aren’t reading this, I’m content to know you’ve moved on because this blog doesn’t meet your expectations anymore.  Hell, it doesn’t meet mine, apart from the fact that I can come in here because it is my blog and prattle on about what ever it is that is making me sick to my stomach at the moment.

Violet:  “I initially came to this blog because we both had similar experiences of being beaten down by religion. Religion was something I was born into and had no control over when I was a child. Now I’m leaving this blog because because I’m being beaten down for being American…something I was also born into and have no control over. You can say I’m taking things too personally, but when I read post after post of hatred toward the US, I feel unwelcome here.”

Zoe:  You can take it personally.  If there’s anything I’ve learned now by age 64 is that a woman has every right to take whatever it is that she finds offensive and hateful and leave.  I don’t hate the U.S. Violet.  That is over the top.  It’s because I care that I’m angry, scared and traumatized by what’s going on.   I am taking what is going on in the U.S. personally.  You want to blame me for hating the U.S. go ahead.  I only hate Trump and the goons who once ran against him and all said on tape that he was terrible in every way shape or form.  Now they have bowed down to him and kissed his ass.  Yes, I take that personally because as the U.S. goes often the world goes and it damn well affects/effects Canadians too.  As well, right from the start, what is going on in the U.S. government reminds me hook, line and sinker of my days in church.  Is this all stuff for a therapist?  Yup.

Violet:  “I wish you only the best on your journey. My journey leads me elsewhere now.”

Zoe:  Okay.  You may feel unwelcome here.  I would never dispute what you feel.  For the sake of people who may read here and wonder, people who have the password to my password protected posts are not unwelcome and Violet, that includes you.  I don’t give my password out to just anybody.  There are people who have asked and I’ve said, no.  We are people and there’s so much more to both of us as human beings than what is shared on this one blog.

Addendum:  For those reading this, I apologize for the discomfort.  I’m feeling it too.  I do not expect anyone to feel they have to respond &/or comment.  We’re all entitled to come and go and to give voice.

“Say what you want to say and let the words fall out, honestly . . . ” (from the Brave song.)

Christian Years, Emotions, Pain, Personal Memoirs, Salvation Seasons, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

Over At Bruce’s

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Another evangelical pastor with a message for Bruce.

As is the case, some of us are responding to pastor Nelson.  My comment follows:

Dear pastor Nelson,

How many people “come to Christ” because they have been hurt and are in pain?

Is their conversion illegitimate because they came to Christ for emotional reasons?

I came to Christ for emotional reasons. I was 13 years old and scared shitless by fear of a parent’s possible death and then retraumatized by camp counsellors a few years older than me telling me that even though I had believed in Jesus I had not yet “asked Him into my heart” therefore headed to hell if by chance I fell off the Lake Erie cliff that day and died.

With tears in my eyes on top of a cabin bunkbed I looked out over the lake fog settled in on the campgrounds and quietly talked with “Jesus” as I understood him at the time. It was all emotion. A sincere young teenage girl sincerely emotional and placing her trust in other teenagers and a few young twenty-year olds and giving up her own intellectual mind to people she somehow thought knew better than her.

So pastor Nelson. Was I saved? Am I truly born-again? It was all emotional.

Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

Love/Hate Relationships

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… ZOE ~

REPLY

 

Summer of ’69, thirteen.

I had always believed. Not raised in a Christian fundamentalist home. Raised in a highly dysfunctional home.

A loving Jesus came in handy for a traumatized child.

Bible Camp and the born-againers threatened hell and told of a Jesus who not only loved but also hated. The same scenario I was nurtured in at home.

Not only did Jesus love me but He also judged me. Familiar.

Broken with no sure foundation, I took the bait.

 

My contribution to the comment section for Bruce’s blog post HERE.

Bolding emphasis added for my post here.

Christian Years, Christianity, Eve Garden God, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

My Fault

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This is dialogue I took down yesterday morning on a recent FoxNews segment on Justice with Judge Jeanine and Franklin Graham – Samaritan’s Purse.

JJ: “Why would God allow this kind of thing to happen?”

FG: “Well I don’t think God planned for this too happen. It’s because of the sin that’s in the world judge. Man has turned his back on God and sinned and we need to ask for God’s forgiveness and that’s what Easter is all about. It’s about God so loving the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life. Jesus Christ came to save sinners. He didn’t come to condemn the world but to save the world. And if we put our faith and trust in him he’ll forgive our sins and heal our hearts and he’ll change the course of our lives. And this pandemic, this is the result of a fallen world. A world that has turned its back on God and so I would encourage people to pray and just let’s ask, let’s ask God for help.”

Perhaps I should have posted this yesterday for Palm Sunday.  In prep of course for Easter.

You are vile.  You were born in sin.  God being omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent set it up this way.  We didn’t get a say in it.  No free will here.

Yet, it’s not God’s fault.  Nope.  It’s your fault.  Mine too.  God set it up but it’s your fault, mine too.

You lousy, despicable, horrible worm-infested Zoe are responsible for this pandemic.

And the great witness of diverse Christians shout into the universe, “No, no Zoe.  You’ve got it all wrong.”  Then each of them presents “their” God.

Christianity, Emotions, Healing, Life, Pain, Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

Prayer – Trauma

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From the comment section at Bruce G’s blog.

Continuing on with my reflections re:  Trauma

 

Karen wrote: ” I know my dear mom-in-law goes to bed at night and prays very hard for her unbelieving family members. She fears for our souls and the possibility of eternal torture for us. There is nothing we can say or do that will relieve that fear, and it makes me very sad. We’ve agreed to leave religion off the table most of the time, but there is the loneliness of the night and the fierceness of the fear.”

Zoe: I just wanted to pull this out recognizing how many of us lived like this 24/7.

For me and I imagine many others, we put ourselves in a state of stress, trauma, shock, fight &/or flight and other states of being when we were suppose to approach the days end peacefully and restfully.

Instead, we have visions and or flashbacks of relatives, friends and human beings eternally tortured in this place called hell.

Ramped up on fear our hearts race, our respirations increase or we hold our breath with fear, we get headaches, our bodies freeze with shock, we want to look the other way but we are stuck in a moment of terror.

We can’t shut it off.

We beg God, please don’t let my grandma and grandpa die and go to hell. Save them! Save them! Please!

Feeling sick to our stomachs with a host of other physiological reactions to our stress, we try to sleep.

Our tears baptize our pillows, we curl up in fear.

Trauma.

Secular Wings, Spiritual Abuse, Trauma Talk

New Book re: Ravi Zacharias

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Back in my evangelical days, Ravi was a favoured Christian apologist.  I read three of his books.

As I look back from my vantage point now, most books I read by apologists left me with more questions than answers.  More uncertainty than certainty.  I don’t think they grounded my “faith” that the Bible was true at all.  If anything, apologetics pointed out to me the diversity inside Christianity.  This apologist says that, that apologist says this, scholarship here, scholarship there, here a Christian, there a Christian, every where a Christian Christian.

My struggle to believe these human authors, God’s go-to people, the true Christians, the real Christians, the ethical/moral Christians, the praying Christians, the studied Christians, the honourable Christians, the esteemed speakers of all thing “God” in all Its Triune glory, the “honest” Christians, lead me down that spiral staircase into the realm of:  Why so many different kinds of Christians?  Why so many Biblical interpretations?  Why so many Bibles?  Why don’t all the apologists and scholars agree?  If every *i* be dotted and every *t* be crossed, what the hell is going on?  Naturally, we all know it’s Eve’s fault.  That’s really what’s going on.  Never mind that guy behind the curtain.  God is God.  Leave it at that.  One day you’ll have your mansion over the hilltop.  For now, just believe.  Who cares what the truth is?  Who cares what the story is?

I’ve been following this story about Ravi Zacharias for awhile now.  It may be of some interest to someone here.

It very much reminds me of my days in the church.  Pastors who were not telling the truth.  Sordid details.  Those who confronted the abuse/lies (us) and those who turned a blind eye to the truth, refusing to consider that those men couldn’t possibly be guilty of (insert sordid details here).

Choosing to get-out to maintain our own integrity.  Struggling for years to find out that I do care about the truth and the story.  That’s why I’m now an atheist.  Though I no longer believe my former Christian story, I do care still, about the damage done to those who have been used and abused by my former story and its story-tellers.

https://twitter.com/RaviScam/status/1074802747516436480