Tag Archives: community

July 18, 2012 · 8:18 pm

The Middle of Nowhere

Country Road (Photo credit: freefotouk)

When I’d drive from New York to Florida or back, I’d often stop somewhere in the middle, the middle of nowhere that is. As far as I was concerned, there was New York, there was Florida. That made up the east coast. Then there was California on the west coast. I made weekend trips into Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and down to Washington but that was pretty much it-my America was made up of bookends really. My road companions agreed and if I got a call from someone checking on my status and they asked where I was, I never offered the name of the town or the handful of historical sites that I had passed. My answer was always the same. I’m in the middle of nowhere. Usually the caller would understand and express concern and offer the same advice. “If you get pulled over, don’t argue with the police there. Just say yes sir, no matter what. And get the hell out!”

Anyone who has made this trip knows about the signs for South of the Border. Pedro bombards you with billboards that start about 100 miles before you get to it and by the time you do get there, your expectations are through the roof. Wow, what is this South of the Border place? What’s going on? What a let down! It is a little place off the I-95 highway that is terrifyingly plastic with a mish mosh of plaster sculptures that don’t make sense. They have souvenir and firework shops. I never made the Mexican connection with this remote area of South Carolina but after all the signs one must at least stop in to check it out, especially when road weary. I remember getting out of the car and into an eerie stillness that was disturbing on many levels, especially when fake Mexicans and apes were staring me down. I wanted to scream and get back in the car. Apparently SOB has a website now, very high-tech, and they explain that they have several restaurants and motels. An added bonus is that they can host conferences and weddings. No thanks. If I want a Mexican wedding I’ll go to Cabo thank you very much.

Back to the point at hand, again, here is this Mexican hot spot, in the middle of nowhere with hardly a soul in sight. The other main attraction on this route is Cracker Barrel. When you are tired and cranky and hungry, this place is an oasis. Home cooked food, homemade desserts and a shop with interesting things to buy-from old-fashioned candy to picture frames, seasonal items and Christmas decorations. I love it.

Cracker Barrel in Pueblo, Colorado, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have since moved to the South and after leaving a Cracker Barrel one day and driving from one country town to another, it hit me. I have moved to the middle of nowhere! Oh my God, I’m one of them! One of these people who seemed like aliens to me before. People who didn’t live near the ocean, museums, ports or places where they make books. You know, civilization of any kind. Then horror of horrors I realized that any of the patrons at Cracker Barrel, who had done the same as I had years ago and exited the highway while en route to more exciting places, thought I was one of them too! Aw bless, she doesn’t know what a Broadway show is or what the Hudson looks like, poor thing!

They do have Barnes and Noble, oh I made sure of that before I came. And, as long as there is a Barnes and Noble in the vicinity, I can handle just about anything else. When the Bible Belt goes to church, I pop in to a quiet B&N and sip on a Chai Latte while flipping through books and magazines at my leisure. When the whole of the South is watching college football, I can meander through empty aisles at my favorite shops or enjoy not waiting at favorite restaurants. They also have Publix grocery stores here and anyone from Florida knows that once you’ve been in one Publix, you’ve been in all Publix (Publixes?) and it feels like home. Ok the pizza and bagels are crap but it is nice to drive with little to no traffic and to have open skies and green vistas. We even get Broadway shows. The road company but still Broadway. It’s not the same, no one could mistake a little country town for New York City, but it’s quiet for the most part. I have more than a postage stamp sized garden and I see birds that aren’t pigeons. We have outdoor symphonies and poetry night at the coffee place-come on! Would I move somewhere where there are Neanderthals? Many barbecue year round and take trips to the beaches and lakes in the summer. Even Starbucks and Trader Joes have found us.

Yes I do miss the mom and pop shops of New York and finding one of a kind items. Though what one loses in the unique and new one gains in not being in the rat race and not feeling the pressure to be ahead of everyone else; on the train, with fashion, news and art (Oh! You didn’t know they were showing Elizabethan toothbrushes at the Met? All my friends have seen it. You must go. You didn’t see Rent? That is a travesty, how could you not have seen Rent? You don’t live on the Upper West Side? That’s where all the good restaurants are now. Any one who says it isn’t is just lying to you. You haven’t been to Cannes?). Blah blah blah. People are neurotic because the city never sleeps. New Yorkers are bombarded 24/7. What am I missing? What’s going on? What happened, I have to know!!! The worst thing in New York is not being in the know. It doesn’t matter who you are, if you are rich or poor. If you know something before everyone else, you have cachet. But it’s so exhausting!

New York will always be my city and I love it like a family member but the middle of nowhere gives me a break from all that and lets me be me. Don’t mind me as I wander aimlessly for a while in the here and now, in the I’m OK, you’re OK. You get back on the highway and catch up with your friends. I’m going to have my little cotton socks blessed while I sip on some sweet tea. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

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Tagged as community, country, life, lifestyle, musings, new york, People, random, travel, writing

May 3, 2012 · 11:22 pm

Rude Awakening

Italiano: versione ombreggiata e ingrandita de...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This falls under the “is it just me?” category. Is it just me or are other people annoyed, put off or offended by the lack of manners shown by those nearest and dearest when using social media? I am often surprised that people I consider close friends or family relinquish manners I know they once must have had. Surely I would have noticed before I allowed them into my virtual world via Facebook, Twitter, email and texts! I see this trend growing and need to address it…at once.

The bane of my existence is the ‘like’ button on Facebook. I know we are all busy people. But, if I take the time to read everyone’s posts and more time to respond by saying things like “Merry Christmas, hope you feel better, Happy Birthday, Happy New Year, congratulations on the promotion, hope you have a good day, have a great weekend, thank you….etc, I am quite affronted to receive a cursory ‘like’ in response! (In high pitched voice) I didn’t have to say anything at all, you know! The correct response for those who should know better is, in order: Merry Christmas, thank you, thank you, Happy New Year, thank you, thanks you too, thank you, hope you do as well and you’re welcome!

So, the question remains…how do people grab and go when a compliment or greeting is laid before them? They don’t reciprocate but then don’t even thank the benefactor for their very thoughtful and caring greeting. How can this be? Is it anonymity or laziness that leads people to slough off years of engrained manners in favor of a click of the mouse, risking loss of friendships, grudges and horror of horrors being unfriended? I think I should start a PSA declaring the dangers of the FB ‘like’ button!

It is as annoying to me as people who walk through a door when you are opening it for yourself without so much as a thank you and cashiers, waiters and any other person to whom I give money and my custom, hello, who do not thank me for doing so. And while we are on the subject, if I reach out and post that I’ve had one of the worst days of my life, ‘liking’ that cry for attention is like pouring salt in a wound. You’re killing me people! I’m sorry, that is blatant misuse of a Facebook widget and should be taken away to avoid future transgressions. Is it just me or have the “like” boundaries been blurred? Liking a video of a puppy that can’t roll over? Yes. Hitting the like button when someone says they just got laid off? Not so much.

Etiquette and manners form a fragile thread that holds us together. They force us to look beyond our self-absorption and egocentrism (default settings) to acknowledge others and encourage a baseline of compassion and connection. Those of us who were forced to practice good etiquette and manners (ie, say thank you, say I’m sorry, what do say when Grandma gives you a gift…) were instilled with this responsibility to fellow human beings for a reason. Is it that young people are not being taught manners any more? Are manner as outdated as a Walkmans, floppy disks or VCRs? I’d love to play the old lady card (in my day people actually said “thank you and you’re welcome) but I’m noticing this trend with young and old alike! The Facebook like button isn’t cool and it wasn’t meant to eschew being socially competent. If you can’t use it responsibly, please refrain. Thank you.

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Tagged as community, culture, Etiquette, Facebook, friends, humor, life, manners, musings, Opinions, People, random, relationships, Rudeness, Social network, Virtual world

April 24, 2012 · 8:59 pm

A Word About Words

I’m not a linguist but I sometimes wish I was. I often feel like the word police and really must restrain myself from correcting people, lest I be ostracized and ignored by those around me. I hear a siren in my head when I hear certain words used and abused. I’m not saying I know all the rules of grammar however some faux pas just really irritate me. I am fascinated by etymology and where clichés and phrases come from as well and try to broaden my vocabulary if I can.

There is so much confusion about the English language. It would have been much easier if it remained the English language during and after its voyage to the new world. I can only assume that the introduction of other languages and vernacular caused the problems we have today. Sometimes it’s a matter of education but how does that explain George Bush, who despite being surrounded by other very educated people and having had a stellar education himself, continues to say nucular instead of nuclear-which drives me crazy every time I hear it. His use of language is beyond the scope of this post.

English Language (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Were we to travel to the birthplace of the English language, yes, England, we would not be at home as one would expect as our languages are very different indeed. I lived in England for a time and found that when I needed to speak more English-English, I used my mouth and tongue more. We Americans have lazy mouths! Who knew? It actually takes work to pronounce words correctly. Here is an example of the words that caused me confusion and embarrassment at times:

Garter belt is suspenders, suspenders are called braces, pants are trousers and underwear is pants. A vest is a waistcoat, an undershirt is a vest! Vagina is fanny and a fanny is your butt. Your butt is a bum there (I’m not being crude, this needs to be known because when you go around England with your “fanny pack” you will know why Brits break out in laughter-you’re welcome!). See what I mean? Very confusing. I have actually logged hundreds of words that differed from the ones that I used as I needed to understand it to be able to function in society. There were several times I was very embarrassed (see my blog Have I Got News For You). I used the word toss at work and everyone started laughing. I was finally told it means that someone is pleasuring themselves. If I went into a store to buy something and said to the cashier, “I have a tweny”, the response would be “Sorry? I didn’t understand.” That’s because we Americans do not use our Ts. Why don’t we say twenTy? No idea. I also told someone I was self-sufficient which brought tears and laughter to my husband who told me later that I had announced that I grow my own vegetables and live off the land!

Then there are abused words that time and oceans can not be blamed for. Take the humble coupon (Koo-pon). People seem able to say coupe as in a car with 2 doors, so why the confusion? One need only drop an e and add the o n. They don’t say cyoup do they? Where on earth did Qupon/Queuepon/Q-pon come from? It sounds like half Q-Tip and half tampon to me. Other words begin similarly such as couple and couplet so one would reason that the mispronunciation would take the form of cup-on but this is not the case.

My personal favorite is the misuse of the word caramel. As there is an a in the middle of the word, I would think this would be quite easy to pronounce. Did people eat so many car-a-mels that that they felt one more syllable was just too much to take? “My mouth is just too tired, can I have a car-mel please?”

Any word that has a silent letter in it and is pronounced drives me crazy as well. Almonds are Ahmonds and calm, for goodness sake, is cahm. What about height? Why do people say heighth? It’s as if they got a running start with length and width and just kept on going!

Roof? Seems the simplest of words right? No. Ruff. Ruff? There are two Os people!!

The question that causes my skin to crawl is “Where are you at?” This one has become an epidemic! If “where are you?” asks the question, why would one add at which is a preposition? And, although rules have softened on the preposition at the end of sentence, this is just plain wrong. I have no words for “where you at,” no words.

I’ve gotten into trouble for being too “flowery” by using actual words such as innocuous and telephonic as some people didn’t think a) they were real words and b) that if they were I should actually use them. One of the biggest annoyances when it comes to language and communicating is when someone doesn’t know a word and won’t just ask what it means so we can move on with the conversation. I’ve had the bizarre experience though of people questioning me and even having the gall to make fun of me when I use a large word (there you go again using your $5 words!). It’s really all I can do to keep from laughing and it makes me feel like I’m in the twilight zone. Mind you I don’t even think I have a large vocabulary. I often feel like Marilyn in the Munsters tv show if anyone remembers that. Try to gain knowledge and use it and others see you as a freak!

Funnier still is when people email or text asking me what a certain word meant. If you can email you can look it up online people. Parting advice for anyone too lazy to crack open a dictionary, take 3 seconds to type it into Google. Geesh!

Which words drive you crazy? I know we all have them.

Disclaimer: Consult your Linguist if you experience headaches, annoyances, exasperation or total outrage from others incorrect use of language. Side effects of actually looking words up to understand their correct definitions in order to use them correctly includes but is not limited to the following: personal growth, better grammar, better vocabulary and a general sense of confidence and wellbeing.

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Filed under Musings, Uncategorized

Tagged as community, culture, education, England, English as a foreign or second language, English language, language, life, Linguistics, musings, People, random, random thoughts, work

April 7, 2012 · 11:09 am

Happy Easter

Easter eggs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was so excited to have Good Friday off yesterday. The spirit of the season was at hand and I had the bright idea of going into town to buy plants, mulch and other springy things. Lowes was jam-packed with lines in all directions. Obviously I wasn’t the only one thinking SPRING. The feeling of rebirth and renewal was in the air.

The funny thing was, when I tried to pull my car around for a Lowes employee to put bags of mulch in my car, no one would let me in to get there. This was after I was practically run over by someone with one of those industrial sized carts with not so much as an “I’m sorry,” and had someone cut in front of me in the 20 minute line I was on. Trying to go anywhere was a nightmare. Every store was packed. And best of all, as I drove around a tight curve, I inadvertently went over the yellow line a bit. A man coming in my direction, and no I was not in jeopardy of hitting him, actually yelled out in a heavy Southern drawl, “you’re over the line, bitch!” Bitch? Are you kidding me? That was a bit harsh, no? I could not believe my ears and felt assaulted. On the eve of one of the holiest holidays, on Good Friday itself, I was shocked to see how many people were NOT peaceful, were NOT charitable and were NOT showing any signs of brotherly love! Are these the same people who will be sitting in church in their finest clothes on Sunday?

Usually around Christmas and other holidays there is a softening, an “oh go ahead of me we’re all in this together” sort of atmosphere. But not yesterday, no way!

It’s more striking to me here in the South when there is such a focus on Jesus and bible teachings. Many churches here even act out the scenes and hundreds come to view a ‘living bible’. One would think then that the teachings of Jesus would be foremost in people’s minds here if anywhere right? I’m not bashing people from the South or their religions, I know a lot of good people here and it doesn’t just happen in the South. And I know that many people do practice what they preach. But it’s so funny to me that all the ideas of love, acceptance and forgiveness, those ideals we hold dearest in our hearts and nod to as we are reminded of them by a minster or priest, just go out the window by Monday morning or when we happen to have a lot of Spring shopping to do! Why don’t we look into each others eyes and hug each other Monday morning instead of mumbling “morning, I need coffee.” Why don’t we take out our wallet when the person in front of us at a store has to put items back because he doesn’t have enough money to pay for them? Why do people with money just buy more things instead of giving it to people who don’t have it to put food on the table or clothes on their backs? And, why don’t we let impatient Italians into a stopped line of traffic when we can’t go anywhere anyway? Why aren’t we living the ideals, that millions of Christians are celebrating this weekend, every single day?

And people wonder why I’m not religious! But…. I do believe in the truths and ideals that all religions believe in, specifically the ones mentioned above. If we lived these daily we wouldn’t need drugs or material possessions. If we lived these daily we wouldn’t have crimes and we wouldn’t hate. There wouldn’t be us and them. I believe if we lived the principles of Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness, there would be peace on earth and I think someone tried to show us that. Happy Easter!

Stained glass at St John the Baptist’s Anglican Church (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Tagged as Christianity, community, easter, faith, family, Jesus, life, lifestyle, musings, opinion, People, random, relationships, religion, spirituality

March 31, 2012 · 2:39 pm

Earth Hour Tonight-What Will You Do

Thousands will be getting out the candles and turning off their lights at 8:30pm tonight including: governments, the Empire State Building, the UN, Eiffel Tower, Great Wall of China and more. All over the world people will be in the dark for one hour to unite and bring attention to sustainability. What will you do with your hour in the dark?