Sea Shepherd - Whale Defense Meat Grinder?

We're not sure if anyone stopped for a minute during the "1 Million dollar big check moment" with Sea Shepherd last month to really think about the acquisition of their high speed Earthrace vessel.

Renamed the Ady Gil and painted a nice black, the self styled eco warriors from Sea Shepherd have been touting this ship as their new weapon against Japanese whaling.

All we noticed were the two giant propellers at the back of the vessel that to us looked like big trouble for whales.

With a top speed of 45 knots the renamed Ady Gil credits at least one very serious collision with "submerged debris" during her life at sea.

"Shortly after leaving Palau on day 34, Earthrace struck submerged debris which sheared two blades off the port propeller and bent the drive shaft. This necessitated a return to Palau in order to assess the damage and remove the prop."

The propellers are German-designed, carbon propellers that are 36 inches in diameter.

To date Sea Shepherd have not provided "propeller shrouding" for these whirling Ginsu Knives of the Antarctic and intend on putting this vessel in between Japans harpoon vessels and the whales. Propeller shrouding would protect whales from these extreme blades while still allowing this vessel to "close intercept" with the animals and Japanese whalers.

Did Sea Shepherd or anyone in the eco media stop to think about this?

Clearly, in the rush to congratulate yet another futile season of reality television, no one did.

Competitive Eating Champion Sets New Record-36 Pounds

Bahamas News Daily--Denny "Mad-Man" Pelkin, a competitive eater whose feats of gluttony earned him a spot in the Competitors Speed Eating Hall of World Records has set a new all time eating record on a recent fishing trip to the Bahamas.

Stunned onlookers out for a day trip to Muriels Reef watched in horror as Denny first caught a world record spotted grouper of 77 pounds-and then proceeded to eat half of the fish, live, in exactly 3 minutes.

"It's the most amazing thing I ever seen", said 73 year old captain Ron Freeman of Sunrise Charters out of Freeport, "and I seen some things in the Navy".

According to other fishermen who were there at the time Mr. Pelkin then proceeded to wash the fish down with a six pack of Grand Bahamas Kalik Beer before passing out on the back deck for the rest of the afternoon.

The International Speed Eating Commision or ISEC issued the following statement last week, "We have reviewed the video tape submitted and have verified the actual weight and the time in which this fish was consumed, it's another speed eating record for Mr."Mad-Man" Pelkin.

The following underwater Onion was brought to you by Shark Diver Always wait an hour to go in the water after you eat.