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author’s note:
A long time ago, I learned to make pain my friend.
— Kid USA, pro wrestler
LIVING WITH GHOSTS
I’ve learned:
I can’t get rid of a ghost by shouting
Leave me alone!
No—
curses and pleading
will not dislodge a ghost.
Nor can I outrun them.
For years, I sped like a bullet train
but when finally forced to stop
my ghosts shot out of the shadows.
Sometimes a ghost may seem
to disappear completely.
But then something I hear or see
will raise that wraith from the grave.
I’ve wrestled with my specters for years
and lost a million times or more.
So now I’m trying a new strategy:
whenever a ghost resurrects
and an old wound wounds me once more
I’ll try to remain calm
and say quite casually:
Well, hello my old companion—
stay if you want—leave when you wish.
No, I’m not finally at peace with you
but I waste so much energy
when I try to fight or flee.
However
I won’t sit
when your sadness
tries to leaden my heart—
No!
I’ll leap and skip in a golden dance.
Though I can’t deny you, I can defy you.
But maybe I should thank you.
Didn’t I learn through you?—
Didn’t I grow?
Yes, and now I’ll learn even more
by staring deep into your eyes
with all their shades of blue.
But though I say in my head:
You should embrace that ghost
my words I haven’t yet convinced my heart.
So until I grow some more
the best I can do is accept you
and dance dance dance—
dance ‘til the night becomes dawn.
What I Learned While Alone: poetry book
dream steps blog
myth steps blog
you tube channel
© 2025, Michael R. Patton
author’s note: I want to go to Thailand… ...if only for the ghosts. GHOSTS IN THE TREES I’ve read: in Thailand ghosts live up in the trees-- a better place, I believe than the shadowy basements where we try to stuff our ghosts. Ghosts actually want to sunbathe and talk!-- when ignored they emerge to wreck havoc in our lives, in our world. I speak from experience: in fear, I tried to hide my ghosts from myself. But my wraiths retaliated. Working unseen they kept trying to wreck me. Finally I became more afraid of what they might do if I didn’t let them live in the branches and sun. Now, as I walk in dappled shadows around the tree I listen and learn from ghost stories. I still fear the powerful grief but bolster my strength by repeating what Coach always told the team: no pain, no gain. Over time, many of my shades have faded in sunlight but I know they’ll never disappear completely: my history will always be my history just as our history will always be with us even when stuffed in the basement. If we don’t let those ghosts live up in the trees we’ll still feel their pain while losing the opportunity for a higher education.
myth steps blog
dream steps blog
you tube channel
© 2022, Michael R. Patton
author’s note: Some say we never learn the lessons of history. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned much from mine. GRAND LIFE Maybe the key ingredient in alchemy is time. Consider: though this moment seems rather leaden it may shine like gold years in retrospect. On the other hand time can also diminish. Consider: an event that once pumped me up may appear quite empty when I look back. But is the revised view always true? Maybe I shouldn’t ponder the past and instead, relax and enjoy every fresh moment as the masters instruct. But I do see each moment as precious-- that’s why I want to know I haven’t wasted so many of those moments gifted to me. What is the truth—the value of what I’ve done with my time? Well, this much I can say for certain: when I stop trying to judge and allow myself to feel--to feel it all-- all of it all at once: the past, the present— even the future what floods me then becomes much too much for me to express. With that in mind, I’ve surmised: we must be living something grand.
floor show journey: slow tv
© 2021, Michael R. Patton
author’s note:
Are we in the ashes now?
Yes.
Will we rise?
Of course.
HONORING THE ASHES
I identify with
that solitary tribe in the desert—
the book says:
when done with life in one place
they arise in the fresh morning chill
and burn their village
and burn their clothes.
Then, having cleansed
they follow the wind
to their next destination.
But the story didn’t tell
how they know when they’re done.
Well, in my experience
the “knowing when”
begins as a feeling that then
becomes a thought. My best decisions
are the feelings I can not ignore.
But unlike the tribe
I carry my ashes with me
and often stop to dump the urn
and shift through the gray dust
that’s dead yet still lives—
maybe I contemplate
the shard of a busted jar
or a ring twisted
into a figure “8”.
Some say:
“don’t waste the present
looking back on the past”.
But I feel the need to find meaning
especially when
the present moment seems
so trivial and low.
At such times, I sometimes
remember to remember
all the people, places, and things
I’ve known
and thank the whole menagerie
for helping me
as I struggle to learn
about this life and myself.
In that way
I elevate the moment
and see my past
as a glorious panorama.
© 2020, Michael R. Patton
painful puns blog
Michael Patton
sky rope (subterranean rappel) 