Category: Challenge

Adversity, Awkward Situations, Behaviour, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Challenge, Commentary, Conversation, General Humor, General Humour, Had enough, Humor

Things I’m no good at – Part 1 – Plastic Bags…

Posted on by spykeyone

Shouldn’t the first thing on your list be writing good blogs?

F*** off. That was a cheap shot…

Ok, you’re right. That was an easy win. So, what is it with you and plastic bags?

Thanks for the apology. Doesn’t mean you’re off the list though. Anyway, I have issues with plastic bags. I find them very frustrating and a constant source of embarrassment…

Huh? Frustrating? Because they always break?

No. Because I can’t open them. I can seperate them off the roll etc. but I cannot for the life of me get them to open in order to put things in. Rubbing them between my hands, breathing on them, licking my finger-tips, picking with my nails…. They frustrate me every time, refusing to part their ‘lips’ and I always have to ask someone (usually the shop assistant ) to help me… (And yes, I do appreciate the irony there…)

Ooohhh, this does sound serious. Are you harbouring any thoughts of self-harm? Have you made any plans?

F*** you… You’re at the top of the list now. My question is this… Am I the only one? Is there anyone else out there that has the same affliction?

Are you looking for a date? Are you really that lonely?

That’s it… I really am after you now. I would asphyxiate you with with a plastic bag over the head and some duct-tape but…. *sigh* I can’t ever find the end of the duct-tape either… (Ironically)

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Acknowledgement, addiction, Adversity, advertising, Affairs, Age, Angst, Annoyances, Annoying, Anxiety, Arguments, Awkward Situations, Bad habits, Batman, Beauty Products, Behaviour, Blackmail, Blogging, Blogs, Body-art, Book Review, bright side of life, Cats, Challenge, Cheating, Comics, Commentary

Can’t believe it….

Posted on by spykeyone

What can’t you believe?

I can’t believe it’s the 2nd of January 2016.

Why’s that?

The battery in my clock stopped. I thought it was 6.30am on the 1st and wondered why I was up so early. I thought it was because I needed to pee but then realised I didn’t. I actually went to the toilet on the 1st but didn’t flush. That’s when I knew something was up… Instead of ‘down’….

That’s gross…

I can’t argue with that.

So what did you do on the 1st day of the new year?

Don’t have a clue. I’m checking online and waiting for the police to knock on my door.

Is that likely?

Like I said. I don’t have a clue. I can only hope they have some witness reports. Possibly CCTV footage. But if anyone’s missing a prosthetic limb then I may be able to assist.

You need help…

Agreed. But at least I have a leg to stand on. Four of them…. 😉

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Challenge, Competition, fiction, Ideas, Short Story, Writing

My response to a challenge…

Posted on by spykeyone

A fellow blogger and writer recently offered this challenge – come up with an idea, story, poem etc to achieve this – Make me sympathise with a man who killed his own brother.

Here is my effort…

The Doctor

By Carl Baumann

The doctor checked the vials of the three containers to ensure there were no air bubbles inside them. “Heaven forbid he should die of a heart attack!” the physician thought.

‘He’ was strapped securely to the padded table behind the doctor. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead and his eyes didn’t blink as the priest read the last rites to him. The prisoner was staring at the ceiling above him, perhaps wondering whether he would float to paradise or descend through the table and floor on his way somewhere else.

The doctor had worked hard to get where he was. Although the youngest son of a pack of inbred hooligans who lived lives of violence and crime, he took himself to college and medical school in order to become more than he should have been destined to be.

The man behind him had made no such effort and now he was going to pay the ultimate price. A murderer and rapist of whole families, a beast who had violated his victims in every way imaginable both with his body and with home-made ‘tools’. There was no level to which he had not sank. He possessed a sly wit which had kept him out of the hands of his pursuers and allowed him to continue his atrocities even after his identification had started a nation-wide manhunt.

The doctor did feel a little sympathy for him. He had been given few choices in life and had not been granted the strength with which to resist his body’s urges. The doctor had been obliged to treat him for numerous injuries inflicted by his fellow inmates. At those times they had conversed some and thus forged a kind of bond between them that may not have otherwise happened.

It was time. The doctor went over one last time to the table and checked the needles inserted into his veins. As he did so he moved his mouth close and placed his hand on the prisoner’s chest. – ‘Goodbye brother’ he whispered.

As he pressed the button activating the hydraulics to pump the poison into the captive’s veins a single tear slid, unnoticed by the audience, down his cheek.

End

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