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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠋⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠤⠌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⢄⣠⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣵⡤⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢺⣿⢻⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠛⠿⠆⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠸⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠙⢧⣽⡿⠔⠓⠺⡿⢿⣿⣤⠼⢦⣽⣿⣿⠟⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡟⠀⣸⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠂
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡇⠐⠉⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣉⠂⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣪⣿⡿⠟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠉⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠏⠀⢸⡣⠟⠁⣸⣿⠃⢀⣴⡟⠉⠳⢦⣀⣀⣤⠶⠛⠉⢉⣿⡘⠇⢸⣿⡏⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⡀⠀⠤⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⣄⣐⠂⢀⡤⢊⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡴⣩⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀











Don’t give me that crap! There’s nothing easy about giving up!
NOTHING!

You think I’m just doing nothing, thinking about nothing, cutting myself off from everything, throwing my entire life away, leaving every last thing I know and care about behind, and that’s all it took for me to call it quits? That’s a lie, it was never that easy for me.

It was so much easier for me to go on thinking there was something I could do to make a real difference, but I know now there’s nothing I can do. There’s no way out. Understand? The only path everything leads to is giving up. If I could do something, then I’d do it. I swear that I would.

You don’t know what you’re talking about, I have given up, carrying it all was impossible from the very start. My hands are so small that it all slipped through my fingers leaving nothing behind.

Bullshіt! What do you know? What the hell do you actually know about me huh? Nothing! I’ll tell you what kind of man I really am. I have no strength, but I want it all. I have no knowledge but all I do is dream. There’s nothing I can do, but I struggle in vain like an idiot.

I… I hate… I hate myself!

All I do is talk a big game and make myself sound like a big shot when I can’t do anything. I never do anything, yet I complain with the best of them like it’s my job or something. Who the hell do I think I am? I’m a fraud, it’s amazing I can live like this and not feel ashamed. You know I’m right! I’m an empty shell. There’s nothing inside me at all.

Before I came to this place... I did nothing, that’s what. I’ve never done a single thing worth mentioning. I had all that time and freedom and squandered it away on nothing. What you’re looking at now is the result. This cowardly weak worthless crybaby. All of my powerlessness, all of my incompetence, is the product of my rotten character.

That’s right, I have no character. Even when I thought I could go on living here, nothing changed about who I really am.

I wasn’t trying to get stronger, or trying to make things better. That was a lie. I was just striking an obvious pose to justify myself. Deep down inside, at the core of my heart I’m just a small cowardly filthy piece of trash who’s always worried about how they’ll see me, about how they’ll accept or judge me and nothing… nothing about me has changed!

I’ve known it since the very beginning, everything that was happening was my fault. I’m the lowest of the low.

I absolutely hate myself.




—————————————————————————————————————————————



Emilia: "—My name is Emilia. Just Emilia."

Once again, Emilia gave the silent Subaru her name. She looked over to him with her amethyst eyes. Subaru’s dark-brown eyes gazed back at those eyes right in front of him. And then,

Emilia: "—Please. Let me hear your name."

Subaru: "I am…"

He hesitated forming his words, hearing Emilia’s question once again. He had denied it over and over again. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be it. He had repeatedly denied it. So, this was surely nothing more than convenient wordplay.

—Entrusted, believed in, forgiven, desired.

In this desert’s tower, what if there were the qualifications to be treated like that by them. In this desert’s tower, what if there was someone that could save Emilia and the others. If that was Natsuki Subaru, then if that Natsuki Subaru was nowhere to be found…

Subaru: "—My name is… Natsuki Subaru."

Emilia: "――――"

Subaru: "Entrusted by Julius, believed in by Beatrice, forgiven by Echidna, desired by Emilia… by you. If that man’s name is Natsuki Subaru, then…"

The black haired boy answered the young woman with the glimmering silver hair, staring with his dark-brown eyes into her amethyst ones. To the question that had quivered from her cherry blossom lips, his blood-stained lips answered back.

Subaru: "I AM NATSUKI SUBARU."