Reflection, Jill

The Glass Baby
by Jill

I wake one morning
Aware of molten glass
Pouring into me.
It burns and the pain makes me cry.
But my tears don't cool the fire
So I grit my teeth and reach down.
I pull and push until a shape is formed -
A tiny glass child.
I look at my hands, burnt and bloodstained,
And I fold them over my belly
To protect the fragile life within.
IT ISN'T ENOUGH.
Until suddenly, my little glass boy floats.
I look inside and see his sister.
She is rocking him and crying tears of joy.
Her tears surround him in a warm, wet bath.
He floats, protected and happy,
My tiny man.
Her tears reflect in the glass of his limbs
And Rainbows burst from my womb.
Her tears, my broken hands, his rainbow
Surround him on our journey
'Til he bursts forth in a gush of her tears and my blood.
I recognise his newborn cry
As a call of goodbye to his womb mate
His newborn limbs flailing a wave
To his loving sister,
Who smiles and kisses his head,
Before wrapping herself in our rainbows
And tucking herself back into my heart.

:::

about the piece.

"I've been reading through all the posts from the "Where are we right now?" project and it has lead me to reflect on my own relationship with my daughter and my grief. I have felt distant from all things babylost recently and it has been valuable for me to re-connect. I was drawn back to these two pieces, both created in the first year of my grief, to remind me that I carry my daughter and her loss with me always, in all situations - not matter how far down the path I travel." -Jill

about the artist.Jill's third child (her second daughter), Emma, died during labour at 40 weeks on 14th October 2008. She blogs about her beautiful girl and her journey without her at Only a Whisper.

Untitled, Jill

Untitled.
Jill.
Glass Paint on Acetate.

:::

about the piece.
Jill describes her piece, "Like many of us, I love to hear my baby's name and I love to see it written - a way of holding her in this world from which she's gone. I've used bold primary colours which vie with the translucence of the paint - substance versus the ethereal."

about the artist.
Jill's third child (her second daughter), Emma, died during labour at 40 weeks on 14th October 2008. Jill is awaiting the arrival of our fourth child within the next few weeks. She blogs about my beautiful girl and my journey without her at Only a Whisper.

January, Jill

January, 2010
Jill
Mixed Media

:::

about the piece.
Jill created this piece specifically for "still life 365". She describes the piece:

This is the month when we will meet our subsequent baby. Living or not, this is the month our new child will be born. It occurred to me what an appropriate month it is to welcome a rainbow sibling. January, named for the Roman god Janus the god of new beginnings. Janus is usually depicted with two faces - one of which looks backwards. Few New Year celebrants will remember that Janus is the god of endings too. Few of the non-babylost around us will recognise that a new pregnancy is not simply 'looking forward'. There is so much looking back. This is the bump art I painted on Emma's bump when I was about 36 weeks pregnant. It's been doctored to increase the intensity of the colours. That's me looking back. The second image is the same photograph with the colour  leached out and fed through two digital effects - spiral & wrinkle. That's me, musing on my current relationship with my pregnant body, in the light of my child's death.

about the artist.
Jill's third child (her second daughter), Emma, died during labour at 40 weeks on 14th October 2008. Jill is awaiting the arrival of our fourth child within the next few weeks. She blogs about my beautiful girl and my journey without her at Only a Whisper.