how to be forgiving

All posts tagged how to be forgiving

I Had a Dream

Published April 25, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Well, it’s Friday!  I have not much to report.  My plan today is to go to work and do what I do best.  I’m praying for a nice day and weekend.  Nice enough to possibly get outside and enjoy some nature.  It’s been slow going so far.  We have been struggling to make it to 50 degrees, however today does look like it may make it to 59!  Woot Woot!

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Last night I had a dream that I cheated on Roger.  I have never cheated in my life.  I mean, it has crossed my mind, because I have been cheated on and I guess I had wondered what the big deal was.  Was it the excitement of cheating that made it so alluring?  I must say though, in this dream, which played out like a well written movie, I cheated and then had to figure out how to hide the lie.  It was all very stressful.  I lied and lied and lied and it seemed never-ending.  I couldn’t stop until at the very end, through exhaustion, I really only wanted to come clean.  I wanted nothing more than to be free of the never-ending lies and deceitfulness.

Anyway, I walk away with this; I will never cheat.  Simply through the insight of my dream, I know that this is not something that would work well for my psyche.  In know way would that ever be worth it.  I have watched people cheat and often wondered why?  I guess it is different for everyone.  People make their choices based on their life circumstance, therefore I do not judge.  I can only say that I am glad I have never done it and equally glad that my subconscious mind allowed me to experience it without actually experiencing it.

Day 4: Finding Love

Published April 17, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Once again, what can I say, today’s meditation was amazing.  It is entitled “Finding Love” and the centering thought for the day is “My love and compassion are within”.  It left me feeling loved, loved by my myself.  There is no greater love, than unconditional love for oneself.  There are times that I will become down on myself for something I may have said or done that could have been handled better.  From now on I will inhale with love and forgive myself as I would anyone else in my life.

Today I am going to do things a little differently.  Instead of going to the gym I am going to put on my headphones and some upbeat music and do some cooking and deep cleaning.  I am going to prepare some meals for a later time.  I miss cooking.  It’s been quite sometime since I have taken the time to enjoy it so this morning is the time.

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I have spent the better part of two hours accomplishing a ton.  I have cleaned my bathroom, cooked some meals and danced to Michael Jackson on Pandora.  I feel amazing.  What a spectacular morning.  Now, this weekend I don’t have to spend time doing these things.  Maybe, just maybe, the weather will allow us to get out to the nature center and enjoy some peaceful time in the woods.

Well I am off now to finish up chapter four in A New Earth.  I am a bit behind in my reading.  Sunday, Eckhart and Oprah will be reviewing Chapter five, so I better get on it.  ☺  I hope you all have a blessed day.

With much love

Michele ♥

Day 3: Finding Power

Published April 16, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

This morning I have been thinking about an incident that happened a few weeks ago, and I am wondering if I maybe over reacted.  You see, Roger and I were going to a benefit for a friend that lost his daughter to heart disease, and another couple was supposed to meet us there.  We hadn’t seen this couple in a long time, so we were all looking forward to getting together to catch up and support a great cause, or so I thought.

This couple didn’t show up.  It wouldn’t have been a big deal but this wasn’t the first time this has happened, heck it wasn’t even the second or third time this has happened.  There have been several times we have made plans to get together, only to be left standing without even so much as a message as to why.  I have been friends with this girl since high school but unfortunately this really hurt my feelings.

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I suppose I was feeling a little disregarded.  I felt as though we didn’t even matter enough to warrant a Facebook message.  Did I over react?  Or could it be that this friendship just didn’t matter as much to them as it did to us?  Anyway, this has been weighing heavily on my mind lately.  I am not one to hold a grudge.

I am very forgiving and I want to be in this case as well, however I can be forgiving without setting myself up for further hurt.  I don’t want to set myself up again or invest in a relationship that is only one-sided.  It is not as though I have been carrying around hostility towards them or anything.  It is what it is, I suppose.  I still haven’t heard from them, so I guess there is nothing left for me to do anyway, except to move forward.

Oh well, this is why I love my blog, it is a perfect place to get these things off my mind.

On a lighter note, this mornings meditation was called Finding Power and the centering thought is “My power and strength are within”.  As usual it was a powerful twenty minutes.  I intend on considering the centering thought throughout the day.  I am going to breathe consciously and allow my presence to keep me grounded.  I am going to relax and enjoy each and every minute of the day.

With much love

Michele ♥

Just a Little Writer’s Therapy

Published March 30, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

I have to get this off my chest.  I mean, if I can’t rant here, then where?  Have you ever wanted someone to simply understand and respect your point of view, only to have their point of view crammed down your throat?  How hard is it for people to have a mutual respect for differences?  I get that we all can’t agree all of the time.  I completely respect the fact that people will worship the way they see fit, but is it too much to ask to have that same respect and understanding returned?  I actually find myself agreeing or going along to lessen the conflict.  It’s not worth it to me to stand up for what I believe in when what I believe in is simply love, compassion and a respect for differences.

SpiritualityI don’t read the bible, nor do I go to church.  I spent six years in catholic school as a child and I cherish those memories.  I have a wonderful, personal relationship with God but I can’t say with certainty that I believe every story in the bible.  I know how stories go and these have been translated so many times that I cannot be 100% sure that they are true.  Does it really matter if I believe the stories in the bible?  I practice spirituality not religion.  Most of the bible is filled with violence and persecution, while my God is filled with love and compassion.  The two don’t mesh well for me.

I don’t calculate sins or point them out in those around me.  I don’t see people as lesser than I, if they choose to fall in love with someone of the same-sex.  I don’t look down on people who divorce or fall in love with someone outside of their marriage.  Why?  Because it is not my concern.  It is non of my business.  I can’t know the circumstances of their decisions and I don’t need to.  God loves us in spite of our short comings.  He knows every mistake we will make before we make it and we are forgiven in the same way.

Simply being a part of a church and reading the bible is not going to make you better than anyone else.  We are all God’s children.  No one is better than the other.  We are all damaged in our own way and we make our choices based on that damage.  If we are to live a God realized life, shouldn’t we, not only see ourselves in all people but find love for them as well?  Isn’t that what God would want?

I know that people can only give you what they’ve got, and that I should not take it personally if they cannot see my side of things or do not want to but it seems that this happens more in family than it does with strangers or acquaintances.  I wonder why that is?  Why family is not as accepting as we would like.  It makes it difficult.  If I were to be honest here, I would have to say that I worry more about what my family thinks of me than anyone in the world and they judge me the most.

I would love to say that when visiting my family, this subject is off the table, but I can’t.  It is a passion for certain family members, so from now on I will listen and respect their need to express it.  I will save my point of view for you all here.  I have always found it easier to state my thoughts and feelings through words on a page anyway.

I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday.  Be blessed and stay warm.  ☺

 

 

Being Present is Quite Entertaining

Published March 25, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

This next chapter; Ego: The Current State of Humanity in the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle is all about the content and the structure of the ego.  The more I learn about the ego the more I am able to recognize it within myself.  Yesterday, I realized that as much as I try not to take offense when someone shows me up, proves me wrong, or calls me out on a mistake, I still do it.  I caught myself first thing yesterday morning becoming defensive (internally, of course) when a co-worker seemed to correct me every time I spoke.  I didn’t say anything I just mentally decided not to speak and in doing so it allowed me time to analyze what was happening inside of me.

ego-present-eckharttolle-amyjalapenoI realized almost immediately that my ego had been bruised, that is was not that big of a deal, really.  My ego was making more out of it than it needed to be.  I realized right away that it is OK to be wrong.  I remembered this quote from one of my spiritual teachers, Wayne Dyer that states; if you have a choice to be right, or to be kind, always pick kind.  Therefore, I got over it and moved on with my day without feeling offended or feeling the need to defend my stance on the subject.  I actually felt compassion for the other person, realizing that maybe they had a greater need to be right than I did, and I allowed the situation to pass through me.

The rest of the day went smoothly.  I felt peaceful and joyful for duration of my day.  I guess my ego decided to keep quiet after that because the rest of the day was spent being quite present.  I practiced being present while washing my hands, taking in the smell of the soap and the way the bubbles rolled around my hands.  I practiced being present while doing tasks at work that I would normally find mindless.  I was aware of every key stroke and every number that I entered and found myself entertained by this.  While most days I fight boredom, yesterday, I wasn’t bored at all.

I came home from work and watched an hour of television, cooked my dinner, and ironed my pants, all with the most present attention I think I have ever had.  I didn’t find the need to munch after dinner, nor did I need a bed time snack.  By the time I laid my head on the pillow, I felt a deep sense of peace and contentment.  I slept like a baby.  Today I intend on doing much of the same.  I am going to simply pay attention to the ramblings of my ego and check it when I need to.  I am excited to see what the day holds.

I am now off to the gym to enjoy my much-needed body movement for the day.  I hope you all have a nice day today.  I hear the temperature is going to gradually increase by the end of the week, nature here I come.  ☺

♥I am Perfectly Imperfect, and I Wouldn’t Have it Any Other Way ♥

Published March 10, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

It’s fabulous Monday.  I am so looking forward to getting back to work.  Spending quality time with my co-workers in my warm office is something I enjoy.  But first I have to get to the gym and give my body the movement it needs and deserves.  The weekend was awesome, not only did I get my kitchen painted, but I got out for some much-needed fun.  I got to dance and visit with a few people I haven’t seen in ages.  Life is good!

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Since getting back to meditating the right way for me I have felt such a calming come over my body.  I feel more in the now and much more connected to spirit.  I feel as though my mind is not reaching for tomorrow or over playing the past.  The urge to eat unnecessarily seems to have diminished as well.  From now on when people ask me how I have lost my weight I am going to give them the simple truth, I meditate!  That is it.

Meditation has been the reason for so many of the good choices I have made in my life in the past year and a half.  For some reason when I meditate I gravitate toward the right choice.  It’s easy and therefore do so without struggle.  I have spent a lot of time going from one thing to another just trying to figure out what works best for me, and it seems as though primordial meditation with soft music or sounds of nature is it.

I am so happy that I have lost the black and white attitude where one tiny mistake leads to months of mistakes.  I can only assume that the old adage that we get better with age in the reason I am making better choices for my life.  I have found that it is easier to accept me, flaws and all, rather than fight against who I am.  I am a perfectly imperfect human being who deserves to be loved and accepted for just that.  ☺

I guess I am off to get myself ready for the day.  May you all have the best day ever!!

Nameste’

Meditation 101: Back to the Basics

Published March 8, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Starting today I have decided to get a little more serious about meditating.  I have noticed lately that I have been rushing through my sessions and I stopped using soft music as well.  Somewhere along the way I was told that I didn’t need the music to meditate so I took it out.  It’s been several months since doing that and I have noticed that things are just not the same.

Since this month is Self-Awareness month I am getting back to the basics of me.  I am re-evaluating all aspects of my life.  Primarily my thoughts and attitudes.  For several months last year my stream of thoughts were positive and uplifting, however lately I have noticed they have taken on a dull, negative tone.  I guess it is real easy to slip out of higher consciousness and back into our old subconscious view of the world.  After spending several months in touch with spirit and living in high consciousness I must admit there is no place I would rather be.

I am planning to meditate twice a day and thankfully I know that I will feel better after one good session.  Therefore, I am going to go ahead and meditate now and complete the second half of this blog post after I am finished.  I tend to get the best messages from my meditation sessions.  Today I am asking to reaffirm my healthy boundaries, to make the right choices when it come to the health and well-being of my body and the tranquility of my life.

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This mornings session is complete.  What I noticed throughout was that my mind desperately wanted to think about the past and the future.  It went from one random nonsensical thought to the next in the beginning, but the longer I stayed with it and with the use of my mantra the easier it became to quiet those thoughts.  I feel calm and content at this moment.  I feel as though I am on the right trick once again.

I am seeking inner fulfillment.  I believe that as long as I am able to find that fulfillment that all other aspects of my life will fall into place with ease.  Heck, I have witnessed this myself last year for several months I was able to stay with my connection to spirit which inadvertently allowed me to make the right decisions for my health and my life.  I had no worries as life seemed to unfold in my favor.

This is, again, what I am seeking.  I am off now, to do a few things around the house now, then out to get in my daily movement at Curves, then to spend the morning with my beautiful mother.  My most cherished Saturday morning routine.

May you all be blessed today!  Find peace from deep within yourself and compassion for your neighbor.

Nameste’

I Believe in You

Published March 7, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

Wow, I was just sitting here putting on my makeup when one of my dads favorite songs came Pandora.  Are you with me today, dad?  Because if I were to be honest it would be nice to know that even though we didn’t see eye to eye most of the time, that you would want to be close to me.  Even though at the time it seemed that we had many differences, the truth was that we were very much alike, and today at the age of 46 I cherish that because I am strong and smart and people don’t take advantage of me, and I owe it all to you!!

Oh, EGO You Tricky Little booger, You

Published March 5, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks
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This morning as I was going about my morning routine I realized that for the past several weeks I have been stuck in my ego.  I don’t even know how or when it happened but I got sucked right back in again.  Here I am all about being self-aware, and I was completely unaware that each and every thought I have been having lately has been completely judgmental.

I have been judging myself and others which has been causing me all kinds of problems.  First of all I have been judging myself according to the way I look.  I noticed yesterday that I have been silently calling myself fat again, and I have been judging others by assuming they are looking at me like I am fat and unpleasant to look at.  I guess this is a perfect example of how important it is to check in with ourselves every single day.

I am well aware that negative thoughts will only be reinforced and assuming I know what others are thinking will only create unnecessary problems.  I cannot possibly know what other people are thinking, and calling myself fat will only keep me fat.  Wow, what an eye opener.  I guess it’s time to get back to basics.  It’s time to pay attention to my thoughts.  It’s time to correct the judgmental thoughts and behaviors that have creeped back in.

Being self-aware and compassionate is not something we master and move on from.  It is something that has to be practiced daily.  It is something that we all have to pay attention to.  I am going to pay close attention to what I am thinking and feeling all day.  I intend on making is a daily habit to check in with myself to be sure my ego is not taking over.

Whenever you have a choice to be right, or to be kind.  Always choose kind.  ~Wayne Dyer

Happy Birthday, Dad

Published January 16, 2014 by Stuff My Brain Thinks

ist2_2051734_happy_birthday_dadToday is my dad’s birthday, so first and foremost I would like to say happy birthday dad.  I have come a long way to achieve the health and happiness you so wanted for me.  I have lost weight and have taken measures to ensure to reduce the risk of getting diabetes.  I know you feared that for me, and I want you to know that, although it took me some time to figure it out on my own, I have.

I have never felt better in my life.  I spend a lot more time with mom.  She misses you terribly but has went on to live a vital, happy life.  Shoot the woman has more of a social life than any of us.  She is the angel of our family and we are grateful for every minute we have with her.  I know you are with God and the rest of the family that has passed and that even though we may be unable to see you, you still walk among us.

I appreciate everything you taught me and the strength that I obviously acquired from you.  I am just like you, dad.  Maybe this is why we would butt heads so much.  I am very much in control of my life these days and am proud of how far I have come.  I want you to know that I understand why we had our differences and I hold no animosity.  In fact, I cherish those moments, as they were what made me the strong woman I am today.