Category Archives: Communications

June 2, 2025 · 3:35 am

Bringing the Residents of a Community Closer with a Meal, a Treasure Map of Memories

On conflict resolution in a residential conference about to get blown out of, control, as the air, heated up…translated…

The Residents in the Audience, Whether They’re Asians, Hispanics, Caucasians, They All Have Their Arms Folded, with that Look of Distrust & Heightened, Alert………………

Passing Chino, California in my car, I’d, especially looked onto that familiar, architecture—the Ivy Garden, a housing complex for the elderly.  The sun splashed onto the golden arched roof, the dusty memories, suddenly, all came, back, out.

Thinking We Had, Purchased a Diamond in the, Raw

Looking at how elegant the architecture, you could’ve, never imagined the thunderstorms that it was, once, under, and during those days of, disturbances, I was, one of the, shareholders of the place.

illustration from UDN.com

Back then, my good friend, Ruby got a group of us together, put up the amount, purchased this unfinished construction that was sold off on foreclosure by the banks, an elderly apartment complex with a total of one hundred and one individual, units.  We thought we bought a gem covered in dust, but instead, it was, a diamond in the, rough, we’d had to, chisel, polish, work hard, to get it to, shine.

The group of us, although at the age of elderly, but, none of us had any experiences of constructing an elderly apartment complex.  After the tug of wars of construction, walkthroughs, and the layers of the edicts of the laws, a little over two years since its completion, it’s finally, on the, market, with the elderly residents, moving in one by, one.  We thought, we are out of the darkness, but, it was only, the beginning of an, even, bigger storm for us.

Based off of American law, once half of the total residential homes are sold in an apartment complex, a home owner’s association is needed to manage the property.  The new buyers are all residents who just, moved in, all strangers to one another, busying about their own individual, lives, nobody was willing to show up at the meet.  And so, the association committee can only, have us, the investors, on the board, taking turns as the head, and, had the American apartment building manager, Beatrice to handle the daily businesses.  Beatrice is very, rigorous, but with a tough, attitude about her, several times the residents had, been at each other, the air of the meeting was, completely, frozen.  Ultimately, the residents started, threatening to sue one another, left the meeting in anguish.

No matter what the disputes, it’s always the operation managers who get the shortest end of the stick, we can only, get on the frontlines, and get involved in the conferences.  Beatrice stood on the podium, with a stiff face, sharpened look, and, the residents of our community, whether they were Asians, Hispanic, of Caucasians, they all crossed their arms, looked guarded and, distrusted everyone else around them.  The outside was with the cold of the late autumn, and yet, inside, the hotness of the scorch of the air, like a cough will, ignite, a full-blown, war.

The maintenance personnel started first, complained that the residents would call them in the middle of the night, frequently.  Beatrice immediately set the rules, “the residents can only contact maintenance during work hours.”, and soon as her voice finished echoing across the room, the residents started getting, upset, complaints of no one handling the alarms sounding off in the middle of the nights, that opening up their apartment doors, they don’t see the views, but the rows of doors and windows shut in their, faces, that they can only, keep themselves at home; some questioned, that this was, an elderly living apartment complex, so why are their, people who aren’t yet qualified walking, around here.  At this time, a young man stood up, stated lightly, “my dad’s ill and I live here, to take care of him”, his words silenced the rom, but the air is still, filled with something that’s about, to explode, like any small movement, can cause the meeting to, crumble once more.

Two Weeks After We Moved in, the Community Started, Functioning Normally

I’d felt a bit, sorrowful, thinking of how these residents, in the turning of time, building up their harbors of safety in their, elderly years, originally thought that they could settle here fine, but instead, this became, an isolated, lonely place for them.  But, what can, we, do?

In the silence, my good friend S, smiled and stood up, “next weekend, I’m inviting everyone to the lobby here, I will be bringing the foods, the drinks, you all only need to bring your plates, and forks and knives, and enjoy!”  Everyone in the conference hall, me included, we looked at her, with that confusion, not understanding why, she’d brought up, a completely, irrelevant topic in this, discussion.

S didn’t pay any mind, continued, “Asians like me, we love the large scale gatherings, eating together, sharing the casual, conversations, and naturally, we will become, each other’s, friends.”  She’d pointed to the elderly couple with the problems in their alarm systems, turned to ask the younger man, “if you guys sit together to eat and chat, if their alarm sounds off in the middle of the nights, will you be willing to, go to their homes, and turn it off for them?”

with everyone, listening to the person speaking, for now…photo from online

The young lad nodded his head really hard, “Certainly I would.”, and, the elderly couple who were originally frowning, stopped looking so, stressed.

S said to the women who looked upset, “if we go out for afternoon tea together, and, we become acquainted with each other, then, the doors that were closed on the opposite of our homes, don’t look so, cold anymore, do they?”

The strangers looked at one another, and a Hispanic woman smiled, “I’ll bake some cookies, you’re all welcome to my home!”, another woman chimed in, “we can knit, paint, and dance together too!”

The normally quiet Asian side also, started, sounding off, “we can start a karaoke club”.  The realtor who was in charge of selling off the apartments stated, “I will donate a karaoke machine on behalf of the builders!”

The corners of Beatrice’s lips, relaxed, said, “I shall, arrange the activities.”, then, a warmth of the air came flowing into the conference room, brining the flowers, and the bird chirps.

The potluck two weeks later, almost all of the residents showed, with their own plates, bowls, weaving in the buffet, and they’d shared the goings on of their lives with each other, it was, an amicable gathering.

with the grievances of the residents, heard…photo from online

I’d pulled on S, told her that I wanted to share the costs, she’d smiled, pointed to the residents who are now, interacting, well with one another, told me, “am I not paid enough already?”

After that, the residents set up their own, help groups, selected the committee members to manage the community, and, everything started, functioning well.

One afternoon, I’d, moved the old stacks of books we had at home with my daughter to the lobby, set up a small book corner with the Chinese and English volumes.  Before we returned home, passing by the bulletin board, the sign-up sheets for the baking, arts and crafts classes, the karaoke sessions, all filled up.  And, those neighbors who were at wits’ ends, who’d threatened to sue one another, were all, smiling and nodding, acknowledging, me, greeting me hello now.

Looking at the building, I realized, that a lot of the disputes the world is seeing right now, will get, resolved if only, someone’s willing to put a little, extra work in.  Sometimes, it’s a smile, a potluck, the key is, if there’s someone who’s thoughtful enough, who can, see what people want, who can, get past the heated arguments, the upsets that people are feeling on the surfaces, to empathize with everybody, realizing that everyone only wanted, to connect.

S helped me learned then, that the distance between disputes and resolve, sometimes, is, as short as a, meal getting, set, up.

And so, in a room with, one too, many different opinions, everybody wants to, get heard, and, when everybody tries to grab that mic for speaking “power”, nothing gets, heard, and all there will be, will be, more, disputes, but thankfully in this case, the person was, someone wise, who helped everyone calm down, so everybody can, listen to everybody else, and this person, S was, an excellent, mediator in this, dispute in the apartment complexes, about to, get blown, out of, proportion…

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March 15, 2025 · 3:43 am

Daily After-Supper Conversations with Mom

A habit of the daughter’s, to check on her mother, to make sure she’s, okay, living by herself…translated…
We Need Practice, Holding Conversations, Even If It’s with Our Own, Mothers………
“Do show more care and concern for your own, families, in case, your family members get preyed on by the scam artists……….”, the officer appearing on T.V., looked stressed as he’d blurted out these, words, and yet, even if the police forces, and the banking industries, reiterated to the citizens, it’d still not prevented the victims from falling into the traps, and this officer reminded the viewers to talk with their own loved ones more, to prevent their loved ones from being, preyed, on.
As I watched the news to this point, I’d gotten the idea of what I could tell my mother when I call her a little later in the evenings.
After supper was the set time of which I would call mom up. She lives by herself, four counties away from me, we couldn’t see each other regularly, but, calling her up, holding conversations with her, that’s something I can, do. She’d once told me, that living alone on her own, she’d stayed, silent throughout her, entire, day, and as she’d started chatting, she’d become, stumped on the words she was, trying to, find, “that, that—what’s that, called? Ahhhhhhh, with less chances of talking I have, I can’t, seem to, find the, words, now.”
Conversations need practice, even if it’s with our own, mothers. At first, I’d not known what to say to her, and so, I’d, asked her about the weather, we live two hundred kilometers from each other, and, there’s the difference of weather here and there, and, we’d started from there on.

illustration from UDN.com

https://reading.udn.com/read/story/7347/8602912?from=udn-catelistnews_ch1014
The weather is a perfect, icebreaker, we can chat on it every single, day, the weathers will be different every single day, but, the matters of my mother’s life, it’s all the same, day in, day out. Getting up in the morn, walking over to the market, or heading to the libraries to read the papers, the Family Section of the United Daily News is her, favorite.
Mom is alone by herself, she’d cook every other day, and microwaved her meals, “it’s more convenient, no need to do all those pots and pans, dishes all the time.” I’d asked her what she had, before she answered, I’d, mocked her, “onions, carrots, you know…”, she’d laughed, “Surely, absolutely! They’re very, nutritious, a must have.”, and after awhile, I could guess right, at what mom would tell me.
I’d told her to have something other than the vegetables, to add more proteins into her diet too, the meats, eggs, tofu. To make sure she had all the nutrition she needed, asking what she had for supper was a, set subject of our, calls. “Ahhhh, I forgot soon as I’d eaten it down.” Or that, she’d, forgotten the name of the foods she had, at this time, I’d stopped, “that’s okay, mom, think about it.” three seconds, five, a period of quiet, she’d remembered, then, our conversations started back, up again.
“That, the thing that resembled the large cucumbers…….” Loofa? No, the one that’s in-season now, is it, wintermelon? Nope. “It’s smaller”, zucchini. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” my reward for my correct guess was, her laughter.
As I’d hung up that evening, I’d recalled, I’d forgotten to remind her about the scams. But that’s okay too, I’ll just call her up tomorrow. From when I was younger, she’d taught me how to speak, and now, I will be, her companion in the conversations.
So, this is, how you’d, interacted with your mother, because you don’t live close to her, there’s no way you can be there to care for her, and, as she ages, you’d worry about her, and, that’s what these after supper calls served the purpose of, besides, you’d feel more at ease, hearing her voice on the other end of the line, knowing that she’s, okay.

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November 21, 2024 · 3:46 am

The Cat, Listening in on the, Conversations

Not on that same page, I’m afraid, and this particular conversation is, going, N-O-W-H-E-R-E!!! Translated…
“Did you receive the greeting card I’d sent to, you?”
“You mean the gusts of wind?”
“No! Then what about the WeChat, the IG, the FB, the LINE messages? I’d sent those to you electronically, did you, receive, them?”

the artwork of the writer, courtesy of UDN.com

“You mean that nightingales, the larks? They’d all flown off, thirty years back…”
“I kept repeatedly wishing you “Have a Happy New Year”, you’d never received even a single one?”:
“Oh, you mean that patch of reeds, waiting, foolishly on the canoes?”
“No! I mean~~~did you receive, anything I’d sent to you, anything at, all?”
“Oh, there was, that really loose shirt of springtime.”
“How did it fit? Comfortably?”
“It’s okay, and, it also fitted, to that chubby four-lined, five-syllabic stanza from a poem.”
“You mean, you can’t understand what I’m, saying to you?!”
“I understand, that you’re telling me, that you’re, lonely.”
So, this is the longing for that connection with someone else, and the person you’re talking to, just, keeps on, missing that metaphoric, boat, and you two can’t seem to get on that, same page…

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October 24, 2024 · 2:39 am

The Hearts of Glass of the Authors

What he’s saying is, not what he is, saying…and, how the HELL are we, supposed to, know that, if someone does NOT mean what s/he is, saying, and this editor-in-chief got her, wake up call all right! Translated…
I’m naturally, unaware, and I’d, often, blurted out exactly what I was feeling, bluntly without running the thoughts through my head, first, the moment before, we were all laughing, enjoying the, conversations, the next, there’s that, crack in the scene. But, whenever I’d, switched to editing mode, I’d immediately become, highly, socialized, and could, say what I say, in a round and about way, asking the authors to take my advice, without much troubles, and as the authors went home and cooled down a bit, they normally, would be able to, revise their work, more or less.
Reason why there’s, this, major switch, was from an awful experience I ha. It was a very experienced author, who’d won multiple awards, who’s extremely excellent in written expressions, who knows, EVERYTHING. It was his first time, writing a novel, on the letter, he’d told me he wanted the most direct critiques from me, that I didn’t need to worry, to just, give him the advice on his, piece, the last line on the letter was, “bring it! I’m looking forward to your criticisms!”

what is, expected of these, social situations…

you see, how this can be, a bit, mentally, straining, right? When we need to think about, how to say things in a way, that someone will, be able to accept…illustration from online
This was the very first time I’d been requested like this by an author, I shall not, take his ambitions, too lightly then. Before we met up, I’d, carefully, edited his work, from the setting, the characters, the turns of the storyline, to the ending, hoping to assist him, who wanted to, become, a writer of, novels, to make his work closest to, perfect.
Soon as he saw me, he’d asked in a hurry, if I’d, finished, reading? “I had indeed, a whole of, THREE times!”, his eyes were, aglow then, like he’d found someone who knew him. First, I’d spent about a minute, commending the work, certainly, the work was, amazing, otherwise, how would I read it, three whole, times! Then, I’d taken out my pad I’d jotted the things down as I read, started giving him, advice.
The notes were long, I’d lowered my head, read and told him, and suddenly, I’d realized that the author was completely, silent. I’d lifted my head to look, like the face switch of the traditional Chinese operas, his originally smiling face turned to that expression of, anger, with an icy tone of voice, “anything else you want to, add?”, and, the amicable interactions when we exchanged the letters, and how we were, looking forward to this, very meet up, had been, totaled by the missiles I’d shot toward his work, I’d glanced at the notes that I’d only gone through halfway, stated, “nope, I’m, done critiquing.”, tossed the other half of my sound advice, straight into, the garbage then.
The second half of the meeting ended abruptly, and naturally, my “not-holding-anything-back” advices, weren’t, taken. Later, I’d, written him, many long letters, to finally get him to, agree to, delete the longer paragraphs. And, I’d learned from this, exchange, that although, some authors really wanted to produce the good work, but, without any mental preparations of the suggestions of their work, subconsciously, they would take the editors’ suggestion as, insults on their, work, and, turned the advices others have of helping them make the work better, as a, personal, attack.
This was such an awakening to me, I’d made my mind up then, no matter if I was originally friends with the authors, no matter that they wanted to produce the excellent works, no matter how optimistic, how personable they are, once someone begins creating, nine out of ten would become, a special sort of a person with a heart made of, glass, and, the outside world needed to handle their work with, care. And, this was proven, once again, as I’d, begun writing the articles, the nakedness I’d felt, the helplessness right before I turned my drafts in.

the sender-receiver error happens…illustration from online
Could it be, that after I’d read a friend’s work, I can only give out the, positive, feedbacks? Later I’d learned, using the “sandwich method” to wrap my editing advice in a package, in the affirmations and commends I’d given to my writers, including in an, advice for change. There’s no need for too many advices, just one that someone can take in.
This was, the wisdom I’d gained, from many years of, rolling around, the most genuine, advice.
So, this is, how when someone say, “give it to me straight”, that’s not what s/he is, saying, what s/he is saying is, “let me down easy”, but, how the HELL would we know that, huh??? If the person we’re interacting with, we were, only, acquainted with? And, that’s the thing, you must, read between the lines when you interact with others, and that’s, just, too grueling, I mean, we are already, processing everything that’s going on in our, internal, environment, the temperature in the room, the other person’s facial expressions, not to mention all the noises coming in in the restaurants, cafés, or wherever it is we’re meeting up, in.
But, this is what’s necessary, to NOT offend someone, to not hurt their, “feelings”…

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January 5, 2024 · 2:53 am

Sounds of, Silence, 47~48

On purpose, on language, and expressions, the passing of, the wisdoms of, life here…translated…

47.

No words are wiser, more courageous than Nietszche’s “man is not a purpose, but a, bridge”.  Meaning, that what’s important is the processes, and with the processes, that would be, enough.  We’d used these wise words, to help us dodged the tortures, the insults, and the defeats from, the failures.

But, don’t the failures have a bigger purpose?  To make sure that we learned our lessons, fully and, properly, so we don’t, make that same mistake, over, over, and over, again?

48.

In this world, other than the realities, and symbolic cold of the winter season, there would always be something, like words, expressions, of these, including people’s gentle natures, the stamina, the struggles, the kindness…………a lot of things, worth, living, for.

language is used for…from online

The expressions we use, the words, the languages, became our, arks, what’s different was, that this is the arks we’d built of our, selves, and now, given to us, by, anybody, else.

So, this is on the importance of finding one’s own, voice, because without it, we can’t, find the correct means to express what we think, or how we feel, we’d all be lost, without, the words that defined us into, who we are!

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October 10, 2023 · 4:02 am

The Leashes

How instead of having HIM guess AT what you want from him, you should just, say it out loud to him, this is caused by the differences of expectations in communication in a couple in the marriage…translated…

We have, three dogs, every morning, the three of us would head out, to walk them, one each.  Entered into the schools, after we’d gone through the slopes of the entrance to the school, my husband’s leash switched over to me and my daughter, and, the two of us, would then, walk the three dogs, with him, jogging close by.  He is afraid of the cold, and of the heat too, and would always, take his coat off before he finished his run, and had me take his coat home.

My daughter and I walked around the campus, for the sake of our, pets, they needed to be let out, to roll on the grasses, to sniff the scent of their, kind; they’d lifted their heads, as the squirrels climbed up those trees, sought out the traces of the stray cats, slowing down, then, started, running after the birds.  My husband walked close by, this was warm up for his six laps around the campus, to get the needed exercises he must have in, and he’d worried, that if he’d not followed us along, he would become, an outcast at home.

Early this morning, it’d started, pouring down, and, by the time the sun finally came, my daughter already went to work, and the two of us still, walked the three dogs around the campus, as we arrived to where we normally part, my husband, whose warm-up was done, asked, “are you taking all three of them, home?”, and, as I’d heard these words from him from before, I’d always, nodded, but, of late, everything big or small had been, left to me to carry, he only needed to move his lips, and, his life was, set, recalled how my daughter told me, that this wasn’t from just one instance or one day, that I’d, spoiled him, I’d asked, “what do you think?”, he’d tried scamming me, by asking that same question again, and pointed toward the dogs, “You are very agile, and they’d all followed your commands, you can do it, you had done it from before!”

I’d told him, “a lot of people knew that the other person can do it, but, still would, be kind and do it with them, not giving oneself a mini-vacation.”, I’d recalled him asking me, aren’t there anyone else in someone’s home?  How come, the person needed to manage everything?  So, I’d, used his words, against him, then added, “I’m sure, others would think like you too, don’t I have someone else to help me out in the house?”, he’d smiled, then, took the lead of the dog, and kept walking with the dog.

A bit farther, there was a runner who’d, passed me by, the black dog I usually took, had always been very timid, he was shocked by the runner, and, started chasing after the jogger on reflex, I’d, immediately, clenched the leash tight, apologized to the jogger.  The jogger didn’t stop gave me the okay with his hand, and my husband asked me, “Does it pressure you, leading Blackie?”, I shook my head, said that I have the leash, and suddenly, my upset toward him, faded, away.

As we returned back to the entrance of the school, I’d told my husband to hand over the leash.  He’d paused for a few seconds, then, handed the leash over, smiled, and turned, to finish the rest of his, run, while I led my three dog, toward, home.

So, you only wanted him to acknowledge your taking the dogs wasn’t easy, simple as that, and you’d, dropped the hints, but he couldn’t pick it up, because MEN ARE, slow at these things, had you just told him flat out, “HEY, I want you to take the dogs off my hands, so I don’t have to, walk them alone on my own!”, then, you would’ve have, killed your own brain cells (as getting angry will, KILL them, NEURONS, or so I’d been, told!), that still just showed, how couples got so acquainted in the marriage, that they EXPECT each other to KNOW what they’re, thinking about, but hey, NEWS FLASH: not everyone IS, a mind reader, sometime, you need to VOICE your NEEDS to your spouse, partner, or whoever it is you’re, living with, to LET the person know WHAT exactly you want from them.

Besides, men are too slow at, picking up these, subtle hints that we are throwing AT them, and when they didn’t pick up those subtle hints, we get angry at them, and kill of, god knows how many brain cells that we will be needing to help us get through our days.

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April 6, 2023 · 2:55 am

Turning Down Her Daughter’s Requests of Her to Put the Money in for Her Business Venture

How this mother handled this matter, quite wisely, to say no, but, not to break up the relationship with her own, daughter, and this takes, wisdom of the years to accomplish!  Translated…

As the children come to us and ask for a huge sum of loan, can the parents tell them, no?  If we don’t allow them to get the loans from us, would they hate us for it?  And if we’d loaned them the amount, is there the guarantee of us, getting the sum back?  Hsiu-Ching was worried about this awhile ago.

At fifty-five, she’d received the retirement pension of a little over $1.7 million N.T.s, as she was calculating how she was going to spend it, so she would have enough saved for her own elderly years; her daughter who’d only worked in the restaurant business just three years told her that she wanted to start a restaurant on her own, said that if she is the boss, then, she couldn’t need to follow anybody else’s orders.  “Mom, can you let me borrow $1.5 million N.T.s?  I will pay you back once I start earning with interests!”

Hsiu-Ching was entangled, her daughter showed a ton of passions for starting her own business, and how can she, as her mother, rain on her, parade?  But, she’s so young and so inexperienced, entrepreneurship is nothing easy, and she can’t throw all her money down the drains.  And in the end, she’d, told her daughter, to give her three days to think on it.  She was troubled, and solicited us, her friends for, advice, and we can’t, reach that, consensus, later, a friend who is also an entrepreneur suggested to her, to have her daughter draft up a business plan and submit it to her.  Hsiu-Ching felt a bit, relieved, she knew, that with her daughter’s quick temperament, she would, NEVER be able to, produce such a business, proposal.

And surely enough, her daughter blamed her for it, knowing that she wasn’t good in writing, and made her write the business proposals, that her mother was, making it too hard for her.  Hsiu-Ching told her daughter calmly, that she would need to conduct a market research first if she were to really open up a restaurant, including the location of the shop, and the number of estimated customers she is to get, the target clients, and had to estimate up the cost of personnel, and the produces and the foods, to control the sources of the raw material, the cooking skills, and the cash flow, along with risk-assessment.  “You were only a waitress, and managed the teams of waitstaff, lacking the experience, and, if you’re the boss, you can’t take time off as you wished, anytime you pleased!”

And that was when Hsiu-Ching’s daughter came to understand, that she’d, underestimated how much she still had to learn about management, heard her mother’s, advice; Hsiu-Ching didn’t just manage to keep her retirement pension, and the relationship with her daughter didn’t go bad, she’d also, given her daughter a lesson too.

And so, this mother found a perfect way, to break it to her daughter, “no, I can’t invest all my retirement pension in your brand new business venture”, and managed to keep her relationship with her daughter still good, and that takes wisdom, and, the children may have the dreams, but, they may also be too idealistic than their, parents, and, if the parents just flat out told the children NO, I won’t give you the cash for whatever it is you wanted to do, then, the relationships of the parents and children may go bad, but this woman found a good way, to break it to her daughter, to help her own young, see and analyze the situation, so she’d not just managed to keep all her retirement pensions from being lost, she was also able to, not break the relationship with her own daughter too.  And that takes, wisdom!

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June 8, 2022 · 8:40 am

The Families Accused the Government: You’d Taken the Dignities Out of the Deceased During that Final Mile of Their Lives

This is AT the scenes!  And the HEAD of the CDC (off with HIS head) stated: the CDC never made these cremation mandates, “VERBATIM”!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The matters of getting those who’d died of contractions cremated quickly continued to burn, the KMT group hosed the press conference yesterday, to share the griefs, the losses of those whose elders had, died of contraction, how the father’s final mile of life, was treated like the waste product of the medical systems, that there’s absolutely, ZERO dignity given to him as a man.  The KMT group stated that the papers disclosing of how to handle the dead bodies wasn’t with the specifications, that the mandates from the CDC had, damaged many families, causing the entry level employees, the funeral home operators, to take the blames as scapegoats, called out to the CDC, to set the limits of time of the cremations of those who’d died of contractions.

Ms. Wang whose father had been confirmed of MERS-CoV contraction pointed out through the video chats, that on the day her father was confirmed of contraction, he’d been assigned by the local department of sanitations to the specialized wards, and he’d died, nineteen days afterwards; her father longed to come home, every minute he was in the hospital, and in the end, he’d died, all alone, without his loved ones by his side, and, the families are in grief over this too.

Ms. Wang told, that because the doctors told the families, that the rules mandated that the bodies needed to get cremated within twenty-four hours of death, the families can only comply with the rules, and as they saw their elder, he was already, inside, the coffin, with the layers of Saran wraps over the coffin, there’s no video documentation, no families close by to witness the final rites, the only one who’d accompanied her father the whole way the hired nurse told, that her father had been wrapped in three layers of body bags, without his needles getting pulled out from his legs, still wearing the diapers, and, without a clean change of clothes too, and the families can only, accept this.

Ms. Wang told, that as she saw the director of the CDC told lightly, “there’s no mandates of death within twenty-four hours”, could it be, that after this, the families would have to, have the hospitals take out the mandates on how the corpses are supposed to handled as mandated by the CDC from now on?  What’s saddest to her, was that for the final passage of her father’s life, he was disposed of like some toxic medical waste product, that there’s no dignity given to him whatsoever, so that, is how the government by the DDP, treats its people.

The legislator from the KMT, Hong told, a lot of the families don’t want the officials handling the bodies to contract the virus when they were handling the bodies, although they feel unwilling, but they can only, agree with the rules.  But, Chen’s words, made all those who’d lost their elders “ingrates”, and this is the government’s, evading responsibilities, mistreating the people.

Toward the accusations from all around, the chairman of the DDP, Cheng stated, that the Executive Department already assigned the Department of Internal Affairs to research the matter, that the KMT should NOT manipulate the people politically anymore.

The Taiwanese People’s Opinions Foundation C.E.O. Yo told, that the more than three thousand members of the public who’d contracted the virus and died, were all cremated within twenty-four hours of death, that the C.D.C. couldn’t not know about this, and yet, after two and a half years, the C.D.C. tried to, evade the responsibilities, it’s truly, unreasonable.

Yo pointed out, that “thinking too much, you wouldn’t have the guts to do it”, and, the opposite is also true, he’d believed, that two and a half years ago, Chen would’ve shouldered up more responsibilities, because the matters were easier to handle then, and now, because of the mess from the outbreaks, and his considerations of running for mayor of Taipei, he’d, considered, too much, that this is, a serious test for a politician who needs to, show some, responsibilities.

And so, due to the evasive rules set up by the CDC, and who’s in charge of these rules by the CDC, oh yeah, it’s the director, that’s why the families who’d lost their loved ones in this outbreak can’t bid their loved ones, a proper, farewell, and now, the director of the C.D.C., due to pressure from the outside world, came out of that ivory tower he’d been living in, and said, “oh, I did NOT mandate the rules of swift cremation for all who’d died of contraction”, tossing the blames to the local governments and the hospitals, for not allowing the families to have that proper goodbye?  Yeah, see how that’ll, fly with the people here!

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Communications, Excuses, Government, Policies, & Politics, Legislature, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Social Awareness, the Finality of Life, White Picket Fence

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April 28, 2021 · 4:54 am

What’s the BEST Way, to Let Someone Know, that S/he is, Making You, Uncomfortable???

And I still have to apologize, for being, a bit, BLUNT, ‘cuz sometimes, that’s, the ONLY way to GET the point across, for those who just don’t get it, hello, hello, hello???

What’s the BEST way, to let someone know, that s/he is, making you uncomfortable???  Surely, you can, throw them stupid signals around, hoping that s/he picks up on it, but, chances are, the person is way too mother @#$%ING (maxed out!) retarded to pick that up!

But, I can’t, just say to the guy/woman: hey YO!  BACK OFF!  Can I?  That’s just not, socially, “Acceptable” is it?  Nope!

And yet, there’s, NO easy way, but to just, bluntly, state it ALOUD sometimes, so, stop worrying about how you will make the other person feel (I mean, WHO cares!  And, isn’t how YOU feel more important than how the other person feels???)

That’s, just one of the harder things of being human, I suppose, for SOME of you out there, but not for the QUEEN for, the QUEEN, still SPEAKS her M-I-N-D here, out loud too!!!

Just like Murphy had done, I’d, TELL someone, STRAIGHT up, if s/he is, making ME, uncomfortable, and you should too, otherwise, there will, be those who are out, to take advantage, and by then, you got, NOBODY else to blame, ‘cuz, you’d, ENABLED, the other person’s, improper behaviors…

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August 15, 2020 · 1:27 am

The Ambassador of Peace on LINE

Trying to keep the peace, when members in your group are at each other’s throats, when they get on each other’s nerves, what can you do?  Try to mediate, in a round-and-about sort of a way, so you don’t end up, as the common enemies, but it’s, not that easy!  Translated…

My daughter-in-law one day, chimed excitedly, to the Family LINE group, how there’s, a night market close to her home, and the photo she’d sent to the group was a street, lit up with the lights during the nights, with a world of fried food stands, the arcades, I’d immediately replied back, “be careful as you don’t know the quality of oils the owners used to fry the foods, and the kids shouldn’t be allowed to play those arcades, as they may be easily addicted to these games…………”

As soon as I’d typed all of that, my daughter who’s away on another continent immediately added on, “it’s fine that you go and take that stroll every now and then.”  I was shocked, I’d, immediately recycled my message back.  Thinking about this calmly, if someone rained on my parade, it naturally would, make me feel, awful, and it wouldn’t matter if the words that someone was saying to me was right!  I’d, contemplated, and felt grateful for my daughter’s round-and-about-way of reminding me, so I slammed on the brakes before damages are done.

My friend was once the head of a certain club, he’d shared things on LINE quite a lot.  He’d told, that often, as a subject of discussion was opened for debate, some of the group had started, firing those cannons, some, quite stubborn, to one’s own beliefs, some swayed with how the winds were blowing, some agreed to others’ words, and the words were sharpened, ready for war.  The most often was the fight for the parties in the politics, some debated on the policies, some toward the incumbents, and, it’d, made it difficult, for my friend, who wanted to try and mediate between those who are then, engaged, and, he’d, spoken of his “New Year’s Resolution” aloud via LINE.

He’d said, “from here on out, no talks of politics, no personal attacks.  When we have a difference of opinions, DO delete those emotional words, to keep the conversation flowing smoothly, rationally”, and, for the six months that followed, there’s, more harmony within the group of LINE.

getting into an argument on LINE

illustration found online

With the inventions of the high-tech gadgets, it’d, made people leap into an alternative world, the parents are, disregarding the needs of their children more now, and the problems between the couples, the parents and children, worsened, as our heads, lowered to our high-tech gadgets these days.

But, think on it, it’s not the gadgets that are awful, it’s the mindsets of the users, and the timing.  If one can use the gadgets, and not let these high-tech devices control us, then, we won’t become, slaves.  Like how those who’d retired who don’t live with their children, sliding on their tablets or cell phones, sending the messages, their emotions found a viable outlet, and they’re, able to get some news and new information from everywhere around.  Sometimes, they’re even, having a webcam conference with the children and grandchildren who don’t live close by, the comfort from interaction with one’s own loved ones, although they’re, separated physically, but they’d become, more than, connected psychologically.  To the point when there’s an emergency, the high-tech devices are, very good for sounding off the alarms.

illustration from UDN.com

圖／Tai Pera

My friend’s older sister-in-law didn’t get along with her parents, although one live up north, the other, south, they’d still gotten on each other’s bad side over miniscule matters, and, as the two sides were getting heated on the group on LINE, she’d, privately texted her youngest nephew, told him to commend his mother on her cooing, how he’s, looked after so well, so the grandparents who lived faraway, in the southern parts of the island know, that they have a good daughter-in-law.  And, other than posting the messages on how to live well, my friend told her older sister-in-law that her parents had, commended her in their circles of friends, how they’re, so proud of her.  And naturally, the problems between this mother and daughter-in-law pair, slowly, resolved on their own.

Working hard, being the middleman of peace, at first, you may feel, tried, because you couldn’t make the results of the changes you want to see happen faster, but, after awhile, the results will, show.  The communications apps are of various sorts and kinds, with the members numerous, and, it certainly isn’t by chance, that we’d, found each other, in the vastness of the ocean-full of people.  If you can cherish this affinity, and, work hard, as a connector in every group you’re involved in, keeping the peace, for everybody’s sake, as you turn on the apps, it can only bring you joys in the days.

This is on, being, THE middleman, and, this woman has some valid points, but, I don’t, necessarily agree with her on everything.  I mean, it’s important, that you want to keep the peaceful flow of conversations on your LINE accounts, sure, but sometimes, you just, can’t ignore how someone’s words made you flare up, and, if you don’t find a valid way to get the angers you feel out, then, it will surely, damage you, and not just your relationship with that other person.  And yeah, a middleman who will help, diffuse this, lit up bomb, may be necessary in these cases, but not always.

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