They tell us, that our love for someone else is, wrong…
But how? I mean, love is such a, personal thing, and nobody SHOULD have control or a say over WHO I’m supposed to love, and yet, they tell us, that we shouldn’t love whom we are falling, for…
A love that got labeled, “wrong”, despite how the LGBTQ+movement is gaining all that, momentum, it still won’t change the perspectives of the “general public”, fast enough. Especially in a government run by primarily conservatives, our “group” (the minority) is bound to continue to get, ostracized, blamed for things that aren’t ours to be responsible, for.
how foolish you must be, if you think that these “pride marches” are going to do a thing, to better the rights of LGBTQ+…photo from online
A love that got labeled, “wrong”, there’s nothing we CAN do, because we are not accepted as, the “normal bunch”, and they still FUCKING bullshit the minority population (whose rights had totally been CASTRATED here!) that they are looking out for our welfare benefits, that they’re, fighting for OUR rights?
Why should we believe them, huh? We shouldn’t, but we got NO better options…
As ROY G. BIV gets tried for something, AND IS, found guilty…
How did something that’s NATURALLY occurring, something that happen after the RAIN that’s “made possible” by, NATURE, get turned into something that, politically, MOTIVATED?
Yeah, thanks to the MAGA CULT for that.
the Republican Party is against…this! Photo from online
Rainbow, in general, should NOT have any political meanings “assigned” to it, and yet, these mother @#$%ING(refraining myself from “swearing” here) IDIOTS interpret anything that’s in ROY G. BIV as, related to homosexuality.
And this is stupid, and it’s still, spreading (like that wildfire that happened in California from before that destroyed, how many homes again??? Exactly) fast, to those, IDIOTS who can’t (or rather had stopped) thinking, INDEPENDENTLY and DECIDE for themselves: hey, does this SHIT make, sense???
and, this! Photo from online
The politically correctness of the, rainbow…the rainbow is supposed to be, a symbol for tolerance of those who are, different from us, and yet, the MAGA cult is allowing the IGNORANCE, to spread, through out the good ol’ glory (or as I call it, the NOT-SO-GLORIOUS NO more!).
One Nation Under Trump and the Republican CULT, and, there’s nothing we (me, my self, and I!!!) can do ‘bout it.
Do we, have a choice, of HOW we were, born, as? And, aren’t we all, “creations” of, G-O-D??? Well then, God’s MADE a TERRIBLE mistake with you all right!
When the way you are is, WRONG! That’s what they tell you, because of your, “tendencies” (shall we call it that…). You were born in a certain body, but, your inside doesn’t, fall in line with, what you’d been, born as, so, how do you deal with that, huh?
stats in 2021, off of YouTube
When the way you are is, WRONG! That just showed, how UN-accepting this god damn MODERN day world, with all its, “advancements” (that’s still bullshit by the way!) that it’s so very, proud of, is so, NARROW-MINDED.
I have a right to be here, just as you, or anyone who’s been put onto this god damn, @#$%ING (maxed out!) planet is, and yet, we can’t, get along with each other, because, you are too different than I am, and that scares me, so I begin, HATING you.
When the way you are is, WRONG! That’s how OPENED WIDE the world is, isn’t it? Despite how we all promoted the LGBTQ+, and get those same-sex marriage right laws passed in our individual states or countries, we’re still NOT “advanced” enough, NOT like how we should, be.
and today’s…march in Taiwan, off of YouTube, after this country had passed the same-sex marriage rights laws…
There’s something WRONG with the way you are, they tell it (the child’s sex is unspecified…)…
When the way you are is, dis-ordered, what about, all those preachings of, being accepting all, that is, the good Christian way, isn’t it? And is this not, a “Christian Nation” that we, live in?
So how do I feel, persecuted, for my, sexual orientation? And, what about us being able to love those whom we choose, huh? Don’t we got a right to that? I mean, it IS my choice, WHO I want to fall in love with, is it not? And now, the government tells us, that we can’t love whomever it is we so choose, that we must all, FALL in line with what’s accepted by the, “norm” (whatever THAT means!).
When the way you are, is, dis-ordered, uh, genes DO get crossed, you do realize that, I mean, it CAN, happen you know? Back when you were a zygote (that was when your mother’s ovum got “infiltrated” by the TADPOLE of the man you call your “father”???), something went wrong (like there’s too much opposite sex hormones inside the womb or something, how the hell should I know???), and you came out in one gender, but, you’re, shifted towards the other? It’s nobody’s fault, it just, is.
But now, the government (despite how it preached on how “advanced” it progressed???) tells you, that you are, WRONG for being WHO you are! And that you must, fall in line, and marry whoever is acceptable based off of others’ belief, perceptions, yada, yada, yada…
And so, that’s how the story ends, isn’t it? Those of us who were born “wrong”, we must, hide our true selves, and marry whoever it is we’re, “assigned” to based off of “general consensus…
There is, NO freedom, not even inside our minds now, no place IS safe for us, who are not, “normal”, who are, “unaccepted” by the traditional values of, “gender” (or was it “sex”???).
When the way you are is, dis-ordered, that’s how it goes, isn’t it? Those of us who have not the “normal” either/or gender specifications, we are, cast aside by society, tabooed by the world, and we must, hide ourselves, because the world is, too god damn, unaccepting, despite how those rainbow parades, those laws of the individual states are now, allowing for the people to be able to be with those whom they love…
Realizing the reason why the man that always looked, perfectly dressed, wasn’t interested in you, no matter how you may have tried to, get his, attention, it’s not because of you, but because of, him! How sometimes, we think that the world revolved around us, when it actually, doesn’t! Translated…
Thinking on it, it was, a Reasonable, Trade—————
The Cute Figure of the Cat without the Mouth vs. the European/American Manufactured Chinaware
Without Him, How Will She Find the Courage to Set Foot into the Office?
Without Her, How Could He Respond to His Coworkers on Being, Single?
Continually Clinching on Tightly, But Keeping that, Safe, Distance————
The Mixed Taste of this, Sweet Love, Perfectly Fitting to the Gossips of the Besties at Afternoon Tea Time
Up Until the Moment He’d Returned to Live, She’d Still Not Known Who the Man Under that Suit, Was?
To Ultimately, the Self in the Mirror, Becoming Blurry, with This, Unsolved, Mystery, Too————
She’d Needed to Wait Until, Many, Many Years Later, and Finally, it’d Dawned on Her————Aha! So!
The Straight Male wouldn’t be So Gently, so Delicate, Excellent at, Pleasing a Woman——————
Nor Would He Dress Himself, So Perfectly Well, in that, Mildly, Extravagant, Famous, Unplain, Suit
This is how you’d had that secret crush on someone, who’s, well-dressed, and, because you weren’t socialized enough to realize that there are the, homosexuals that are, in the population, it isn’t until many years, as you’d grown up, you’d realized, that maybe, he’s not interested in you, not because of anything about you, but his own, sexual, orientation…it all made sense now!
Because I was raised, in a, very conservative, traditional background, where everyone who was different than “us” gets, cast out…
So I’m waiting for you to die, so I can, finally, be, my, self, and this is the only way I have, of showing that respect to you, because, I can’t be me, with you around.
Waiting for you to die, so I can, finally be my, self, oh how I hope, you could, accept me as is, as who I am, and just, love me, but you, couldn’t, you’d made that clear, the day you kicked my brother who had a difference of opinion compared to you, and it wasn’t even on something that big (forgot what it was!), and, my issue would be, the BIGGEST WHAMMY!
So I’m, waiting for you to die, so I can finally be, my, self, and as you are now, dying on your, bed, you’d called my name low, and I’d, come to beside you, bend down, and, you’d, whispered something in my ears, then, I broke, down…
Turned out, you always, knew who I was, but you never, said a thing, because, you wanted me to, come out to you on my own terms, while I’d always felt, that you wouldn’t, accept me for who I am, because of how you were raised, and how you’d, raised, me……
And to think, we didn’t have, to, WASTE all those, years, too late for that now!
How the homosexual people in the society is trying hard, to find a place for them to settle down in, and they’re, struggling, despite how the same-sex marriage laws are, signed into, effect already…translated…
Those white, suspenders, were not just, an article, of clothing. In some nights, they’d become, a sort of a, language, a common tongue, among the homosexual men living in the shadows of the cities. In a gay bar at Ximenting, the neon lights turned the skins to blue, the alcohol, mixed in with the sweat, gave off a unique sort of a scent, the ice cold beer cans onto the necks, the condensate drops from the cans, slid down the sides of the necks, wetting the skin, all the way, downward, dampen the suspenders, my tattoo. This was, a very skilled manipulation, watching this had, become, internalized as a day to day ritual now; the white suspenders, no longer covering up our bodies, but exposed our, desires instead.
how the homosexual men identified, themselves, dressed in those, suspenders, what’s stereotypical of them…like this…photo from online
The boys knew their own roles. The air-conditioned stage was signaling at preparation of darkness to come, the sway of the cloth of the curtains, a prelude of sorts, bringing the form, into view. Underneath the purity of white of the cloth, the pecs rising and falling, like a call of the future. The tattoos became an insignia of the homosexual metaphor, disclosing our, status quo, and the past histories of our, bodies. This is not any casual material of cloth, it’s, a certification—to be watched, to be, desired, the qualification of, getting, remembered by, others.
Our community stayed silent, but we all knew: the white suspenders are a threshold. If you can’t be seen under this piece of cloth, you don’t, exist. The suspenders became, a translation of our, physicality, the language of the markets at night in Taipei, used to judge who is, worthy of being, looked upon, who can, march into the, spotlight, who will, forever sit at that, corner. Watching, is the currency of this, marketplace: do you have a show-worthy body, do you have the values of trade, in the economy of, desires, it all rely on whether or not, your suspenders, fit to your forms, perfectly.
That evening, I saw a slimmed down boy, his suspenders had been washed to yellowed, the cloths it was made out of, loosened, like it was, an old and outdated, poster. His eyes, won’t settle in one place, beer jug already, emptied, but his fingers, circled around silently on the rims of his mug. He once, owned that body of youth too, longed for the spotlight to, shine on his, chest, but now, he sat in the shadows, certified as a, stage scene, or even, air, or simply, history. His white suspenders, absorbed all the lighting, and became silent, like a, costume prop that’s, been taken out of, duty.
the hangouts…photo from online
In this world, the suspenders are no longer, a choice of, what constitutes as, beautiful anymore, but the symbol of, survival. The bodies are, classified, expected, consumed. Those that aren’t tight enough, no longer young, unfitting to show on stage bodies, lightly, got moved, out of, sight, like time itself, lost its, position too. The bodies that are “old”, no longer looked upon, nor do they, make a, single, sound. This is, the logic of the, systems of, desire, a violence, coconstructed on capitalism, and youthful aesthetics.
But I am, in that, same corner myself, seeing an aged, man. Sitting at the edges of that bar, with his suspender, loosened, his belly mildly protruding, his skin had the borders marked by the sun shining on it unevenly. He drinks, slowly, nobody talks to him. His suspenders were like a banner woven with, history, kept records of his once youthful life, how he was, once desired, with a name too. The creases on the cloths, winded like the estuaries of the rivers, capturing those, still burning but dying memories of his, desires.
The white suspenders turned into, a way to save a file, sort of literature of desire. It’d not just, documented the changing forms of the body, but also, how love is, allotted, remembered, and forgotten, in the cycle of observing, and being observed in the gay community.
And so, this is on, growing old, and losing our youth, beauty and perfect bodies, and because everything is external, as that is how the world, defines us, even in the heterosexual communities, not just the homosexual, we are, too trapped with what’s on the outside, and when we lose our youths, our looks, our beauty, we are, over and done, with NOTHING worthy about, our own, selves, and it’s that, sad…
Who the @#$% SAYS, that BOYS can’t like pink, huh? And JUST because a boy likes pink, that still does NOT mean that he has a, psychological, “disorder”, it’s the STUPID adults who think that boys liking pink being “wrong” who are, OFF! Translated…
I want to talk about a boy, a boy who likes, pink, my son!
My son had been pale in complexion, very cleanly, looking, and had often been mistaken for a girl. The very first toy he’d, selected for himself, was a set of cookware that was pink in its, entirety, the very first cloth he chose for himself was, maroon, a hoodie with the cartoon character, Kathy on it. My son’s, “shopping preferences”, naturally caused the elders some, anxieties, worried that this boy will grow up to be a “sissy”—meaning, that he will be, a homosexual, this was, their, biggest, unspoken, worries. And besides, what can a boy who loved playing house make something of his own, self? But they seemed to forget, that, a ton of the Michelin chefs are all, males.
call it, a “declaration” of colors if you will! Photo from online
All of these, negative emotions, naturally, turned onto me, as a “mother who couldn’t, socialize him right”, but, I’d felt, that colors and toys are, non-gender specific, the adults need not set up a schema, and so, I absolutely, have ZERO intentions of, changing my own son into a strong, tough man, standing tall!
After he entered into puberty, he’d bid farewell to his childhood in playing house, and turned to the model airplanes, and any and everything related to, flight, plus, he’d, flirted a bit with a couple of girls in his, school, then the elders finally, situated down, and, they’d, offered their thanks to the ancestors, for, blessing him “back onto the right, tracks of life.”
But, this “right track”, it didn’t stay too long, as he entered into university, he’d begun, wearing pink again, his girlfriend even, painted his nail into the colors of the rainbow, and, the two of them held that rainbow flag high back then, to march in support of same-sex marriage. The elders’ belief of improper values, in my son’s younger generations of peers had been, accepted, and, contrarily, he has, a ton of friends in school, and is active in school.
Some of the interesting things that happened, the gay men had texted him private to be his friends, inviting him out, and the way my son handled it, was clearly telling them of his, sexual orientation, and respect the other individuals’, of these, some of the homosexual men became best friends with him, while some, vanished, into the vast oceans of the WWW.
does wearing pink make him, LESS of a, M-A-N??? Photo from online
My son currently works for the legal field, his gentleness, had made him quite popular among his, female, clients. I’m grateful that he didn’t need me to worry about his career, and school, he’d thanked me for always supporting him, so he could be free and be himself, and work hard to become, a better person that he knows he can, be.
And so, this is, how FUCKED up the older generations are, despite how this IS already an advanced world, same-sex marriage’s been SIGNED into law, and, the LGBTQ+movement had been ongoing, since……how long now? And yet, these, OLDER GENERATIONS of DINOSAURS, still refused to update their brains, but thankfully, this man had his mom believing him, supportive of every decision he ever made, so he can be free, to BE himself, and she’d, sheltered him from a ton of BULLSHITS coming from all other of his, stupid relatives and adult counterparts too!
On the diversity of the world, that people are more accepting of in the modern day, world…translated…
Recently, there are, three friends who’d become, great grandparents, and yet, their grandchildren aren’t from the traditional system of, marriage, they are, frontiersmen and women in this.
My friend, A told, that she’d gone to the U.S. during the New Years, to help her daughter who’s only cohabiting with her partner with her month-long recovery phase after birth. “Such great news! When are they tying the knot?”, A told, “they’re not going to, she got pregnant, and so she had her child! Whatever happens afterwards is whatever will happen, so long as I have me a young grandchild!”
illustration from UDN.com
My friend, B told, “my daughter is pregnant”, I was shocked, and started, bombing her with a series of my inquiries, “when did she get married? Why didn’t you send me an invitation? Is the father Taiwanese or a foreigner? Will it be a son or a daughter?………”, B responded, “Ha! You’d asked the exact same questions I’d asked her when she’d, told me the news!” Later I’d learned, that her daughter wasn’t married, nor did she have a boyfriend, simply wanted a child of her own, and, in the preset of her economic capabilities, she’d, had a donor from a sperm bank to have her child.
families of various shapes, sizes, and forms too, that the world is now, more open and more accepting to, photo from online
On my friend, C’s FB page, there was a photo of her daughter, carrying a child in her arms in the living room, I sent her a private message, asking, “the photo of your daughter with a baby there, is the baby her, friend’s?”, C told me, that her daughter is currently setting up the paperwork for adoption. “Why does she suddenly want to adopt this baby?”, C told me, “this was her same-sex partner’s baby!”, that was when I’d noted, that C’s daughter had a same-sex marriage, but due to the laws in Taiwan currently, she can only, “adopt by relative”, to become the legal parent of her spouse’s child.
My friends’ daughters’ childbirth experience, turned my beliefs upside down. Traditionally, marriage then having babies is the correct means of doing things, having children out of wedlock is normally, really, troubling. But, these three women showed their own, independent means. No need to attach to a man, women in current day aren’t just economically independent, they can, also have their own rights on the matter of, reproduction too. Although the daughters of all of my friends are currently living outside the country, I’m sure, that there are similar situations in Taiwan too, it’s just, that I’d not, heard or read of them is all.
I’m certain, that my three friends must’ve gone through the shocks of being told by their children, “you’re a grandmother”, and, I suppose, that their children only intended to announce the news to them, instead of asking permissions from them. Willing or not, this seemed to be, another thing we need to, catch up to the times, on.
the various forms of modern day families…photo from online
And, due to diversity, same-sex marriage, and all of that, we women are now, IN CONTROL of HOW and WHEN, and IF we want we want a baby, and, whatever the reason women may have, it’s the mental readiness that makes them good mothers, NOT because they are with a good husband or whatever by their sides, supporting them.
We have the RIGHTS to DECIDE, IF and WHEN we want to have our own children, it’s NOT up to the government or MEN to tell us if we can, or cannot!
How much more we are, accepting those who are, not the same as, us now, more so than, before, on homosexuality…translated…
To Denise Ho, She Said if They Can’t Hear Me, I Shall, Dance
You Sang in the Dices Today
The Northern Lights of a Strange World
Saturating into the Darkness of Your Former Home
Like Fifty-Five Years Ago, They’d Sung on that Dice
With the Silence of the Cold, Saturating into the Amber of, Times
The Matching Rotations of Magic
Not Only were the Cops, Wandering Lost Around the Box
What’s the Same was
The Cat, Trespassed Between Freedom and Captivity
Like Your Thumb, Index Finger, Middle Finger
Their Beards, Seeds, Ions
Passing the Anonymity &
Schrodinger
a song by Denise Ho, off of YouTube…
How Many of You Imprinted, How Many Words
Translating Each Other: How Many Friends You’d Lost
How Many Poems with the Same Titles?
The Cat Tuned You
The Dices Performed the Duets, the Trios
The Different High Notes Started Splitting, Apart
The River Underground in this Cave that Ran Deep Down Below
Disregarded the World Out that’s, Cut off of the Nets
The River Glistened as it’d Passed Along
Our Campfire
They’d Taught Us, Underground Dwellers the Signals
One-Two-Three Sounding Off that Horn within the Crystalline
The Mushrooms Became the Gift of Exchange of, Moles
And, this is on, how back when there was a time, where the homosexual people can’t come out in the open, because the world isn’t, as accepting as it is right now, and these individuals were forced to live inside the closets, in the darkness, waiting, waiting, and just, waiting for the world to become, “advanced” enough, so they can be accepted like they are, now…
Mirroring the World 
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