Category Archives: Letting Go

On saying goodbye, turning of that page, how it’s not just difficult for the patients, as they’d trusted in you, completely, but also for you too, because, over the periods of times you’d treated them, they’d become, like families to you too…translated…
This is my last quarter term, treating my patients at the, hospital. As I’d formally received my acceptance to a university abroad, it was time, that I’d, finally let my patients know, that I will be abroad to study.
Goodbye had never been, easy, and for a psychiatrist, this became, even, harder. We’d established that firm connection with each and every patient, if we didn’t manage these connections well enough, and said goodbye in a hurry, will we have, caused more abandonment, or damage on our, patients? But, another note, life is, our own to walk through, nobody can stay by the side of another forever. Seeking that relationship which will never end, is a fail in itself.

imagine how you’d placed this much trust into someone who helps you, and now, s/he is, going off, how difficult it would be, to dis-connect…photo from online

And so, the key here, is not the termination of the relationship, but in the preparatory, work. On those patients who’d established that deeper bond in treatments, before I’d sent the application for my doctoral studies abroad, I’d already, discussed with them my career plans, and used that as a guideline, slowly, help them set up another foundation for them to receive the supports that they are in need, of. But, I’d originally thought, that for my patients whom I’d treated quarter, those who are only to pick up their medications prescribed by me, they were only changing to another, primary treatment psychiatrist, nothing more, but this was, too, naive.
The long-term patients from that particular treatment segment of the hospital, were all from the previous psychiatrist who quit. The conditions of that group of patients weren’t that difficult to treat at all, but due to the long-term treatments they’d received, the electronic files of the medical records, I can’t seem to get to the end of the pages, of, that was from the buildup overtime; instead, the signatures on the files of the primary psychiatrists had, switched several, times, and, their medical records are more “senior” than many of the primary psychiatrists on staff.
Although they are all, with no more severe ups and downs on their medical records, and the medications prescribed, simplified too, but the four years which I’d seen them, we’d, weathered through a whole lot, together. Whose sons died when. Who was severely anemic, and got transferred by me, and the woman who’d ranted on for fifteen whole minutes every time she’d come to see me, although I’d written her prescriptions and passed it to the nurse. And, that major wreck I got into a year ago, some of my patients still remembered it like it was, yesterday, and continually, checked on me, asked me how I’m recovering, how my physical therapy was going, that would I have the problems if I’d gone, abroad. These long-term patients and I, are no longer connected with the treatments and visits, but built upon what we’d, gone through together. We are a part of, one another’s, lives and, memories now.
As most of my patients heard of me going abroad for my studies, they’d all, congratulated me, wished me the, best; there were those who’d nagged, that they’re, switching to a new psychiatrist again, and sighed; there were, those patients who were elderly, with whom when we shook hands, it’d felt, that we were, saying our, final, farewells to one another, that this was, a final, goodbye. Although we were only scheduled to see each other quarterly, but, it’d still, felt like that was, a final, goodbye with them.

how everything starts all over again, AT ground zero when you get a new therapist…photo from online

In the sunset years of medicines, there are, a lot of jobs that would have, offered us better pay and better, hours; but there are, only, a handful of occupations, where you get to, establish that close bond, strong connection with the patients. And, suddenly, I’d, understood why some of the senior doctors, after they’d left the hospital, they’d still wanted to keep a clinic open, for their, long-term, patients (and thankful, the hospitals understood that too). In the registration systems, that solitary slot with that familiar, name, was like that bright light on a door in the dark of night, or a sort of, an unspoken, bond, like the psychiatrist-poet stated, “Anyway, I shall (keep on treating the patients here), and do, stay alive.”
So, this is, how you become, attached to your, patients, or rather, how they’d, become completely, reliant on you, and, it isn’t easy, to detach from them, because you’d, built up that strong bond of trust, as the patients come to see you, and get treated by you, they stopped seeing you as a doctor, instead, you’d become, like a friend, or a close relative, without the blood relations. And, you DO see, how it would be, difficult for the, medical professionals who’d put their hearts and souls, into treating their patients, to disconnect with their, patients in this, right???