Sometimes, we just need to, go along with the elderly, to just let them pour their thoughts out to us, whether or not it made sense or not, and just listen to them rant, and that would be, enough to, soothe them…translated…
Despite how it’s already slowly getting brighter outside my window, but the temperature marker on my cellphone only showed eleven degrees, and it was only 6:30, I’d planned to stay underneath my warm covers a little while, long. And yet, “zap-zap-zap” came the ringing of my doorbell in a hurried manner.
“Who is it, this early in the morning, so RUDE!”, as my brains started stating, my wife stated to me lightly, “yesterday in the afternoon, the grandma next door used a broom, and started hollering, ‘teacher, teacher’, I’d ignored her, and now, she’d come back, early in the morn.”
Things hadn’t been quite right with the elderly woman next door, two days ago, she’d pleaded with me to take her back to visit her home where she used to, live, that nobody lives there now, that the weeds are growing too tall, she’d wanted to go home and visit. I knew the elderly has dementia, I’d had to, calm her, so I’d told her, “that’s how my home looked too, but there’s nothing I can do, nobody lives there now, and so, I let nature take its course, it would only bring me sorrow if I got back to visit, I just, take good care of myself right now.” “I have things I need to do too, I can’t find the time to help you.” I’d used that mild tone to reject her, she’d not given me any troubles, smiled as a response toward my encouragement to her, “okay, thank you, teacher.”
“Zap~Zap~Zap~~”, my doorbell continued voicing out the objections, seemed that if I don’t answer it, I won’t get my peace.
Soon as I’d opened the door, the elderly lifted up an old broom that’s bent on both ends, started complaining to me, “Mr. your mother is so awful, I’d placed this broom out of my door, she’d used it as she wanted, and, she’d returned it whenever she’d felt like, she didn’t respect my properties.” “She doesn’t consider how kind I was to her, when she wanted the bamboo shoots, I’d gone out early to dig up the softest for her. It makes me mad how she belittles, me!”
I’d wanted to tell the elderly woman then, that my mother’s been dead for six years, that she’d rarely come to stay with me while she was, living, nor had she ever had any bamboo shoots she’d brought over, but had I said this, it would’ve blown things out of proportions, as I’d imagined.
“Grandma, I know you’re the most generous, too kind to people too, when my mom comes home, I’ll tell her, I promise she will never take your broom away again.”, I’d commended the elderly for her giving the bamboo shoots, to try and help her remember the better times of her life, then I’d reminded her, “the weather’s getting cold, you’d dressed in so little clothes, go home now before you catch a cold”. “I have too many clothes on, I’m not cold”, the elderly felt a bit better, and she’d wanted to, carry on in casual conversations with me then, “my granddaughter was so afraid of you, to the point she needed to be, medicated………”, I’d take the opportunity to break her off, “grandma, I need to get ready for work now, you go home, don’t catch a cold”, thankful, she could still have some mind to be understanding, and ended her fantasy play.
The elderly with dementia, would often have delusions that seemed logical, I’d recalled that someone from my own family has it, my older male cousin who’s old enough to be my father, also had symptoms of delirium too. When he saw me home, he’d come near me, like he was worried that he might get caught, whispering to, me, “your father borrowed an ax from my father, you know, the one with the red paint over the handles, if you don’t use it anymore, do remember, to return it back to me.”
“Oh,” I’d first acted, surprised, then given Shui a comforting response, “sure, when I see my dad, use it to chop up the firewood, I will surely remind him to return it back to you.”, he was, satisfied then.
Shui’s father died when I was in high school, and my father’s been gone many years too, he’d described that ax very precisely, and, had it not been someone close to him, the person he was talking to would surely, believe what he was telling was, real.
There are more and more elderly who are diagnosed with dementia as the society age, toward the situations of their delirium, rather than telling them what they are saying isn’t true, instead, offer these elder the gentle comforts, because, those things are what’s real to them, as their brains become, imbalanced. Although I couldn’t predict what kinds of obstacles the elderly next door or my older cousin, Shui will have for me, but I believe, if I treat them with my ingenuity, they will still, feel my kindness, and, we wouldn’t engage in conflicts, or get upset with one another.
And so, this is how this man CHOSE to respond, to these irrational thoughts of the demented elderly persons around him, he’d chosen to not negate their claims, as it may upset them, and cause them to hold on tighter to that stubborn thought of whatever more, instead, he selected to use a sort of a positive reinforcement, went along with what they were saying, and just allowed the elderly persons to tell him what they needed to get out, that way, these elderly demented persons had an outlet for whatever it is they wanted to express, and, they would forget about it the moment they’d told the man what they needed to tell him, and there would be no upsets between them.
Mirroring the World 
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