Category Archives: Parenting/Parenthood

May 20, 2026 · 3:28 am

Peiyi Cui on Raising Her Son

How we all, were raised wrong by our parents’ methods, because they were raised WRONG by their own parents from before, and we may, unknowingly, PASS this same physical disciplinary methods down to our own children too, IF we don’t have the awareness of it…off of the Entertainment Sections, translated…

She Now Mocks Her Former Self as “Control Freak Mom”

Her Only Son, Randall Y. Baker Returned Back to Taiwan, the Two Visited Around the Island, She Says Now She Knew How to Respect Her Own Son’s Wishes

Peiyi Cui’s twenty-two-year-old son Randall Y. Baker entered into the Berkeley School of Music in Boston as a graduate student last year in May, he became the singer, Wang Leehom’s younger schoolmate, recently, Randall Y. Baker had returned to Taiwan for two weeks, and accompanied his mother to visit places around the island, went onto the talk shows with his mother, they are very close, but Cui stated it truthfully, that when his son was younger, she was a true, tiger mom, and made fun that she was “severely symptomatic” in needing control over everything but now, she’d learned to respect her son as an independent person.

Randall Y. Baker, thought himself as an average student, that he wasn’t, that outstanding, “I’d never made the top ten highest scores on my exams when I was studying here, and I have dyslexia too, I would skip the lines when I read.”, while Cui had worried her head off over her son’s academic performances, “he inherited the dyslexia from me, that’s why he couldn’t do well on his exams, from before I’d demanded that he showed excellence in every subject, I was mistaken, I was abnormal then, as he was taking a math exam, I’d kneeled in front of the statue of the deity to pray for him good grades, in his history texts before the instructor got to the section, I’d already, highlighted the key points for, him, as his teacher saw, she’d praised him for being studious, he’d told her, that it was me who’d done the highlighting for, him.”

the actress and her son now…photo courtesy of UDN.com

Cui made fun of herself, stating, “I was truly very, ill”, I’d even, beaten the hairs off his, brows once, he couldn’t keep his focus as a child, getting distracted a lot, and I got angered by his behaviors, and picked up a tissue box, threw it at him, and, the hardened corner of the box hit his face, he’d started, bleeding nonstop, then I’d rushed him to the E.R., and told him never to tell his, dad.”, but Randall didn’t see anything wrong with this sort of corporal punishment education methods, “because you can’t get through to him, and, physical punishment gets the point across quickest, for some children, maybe the parents had to tell them a hundred times, and they still don’t follow the rules, but you only need to physically discipline them once, and they would, behave themselves.”

Not only his mother had, physically disciplined him, his father too, Randall told, “dad would physically discipline me even more, severely, he’d slammed me onto the bed, but he wouldn’t, injure, me.”  His father had been especially tough on him in the subject of, English, Cui told, that as Randall made a ninety on the English test, his father was still unhappy, “my husband wouldn’t let me intervene, he would ask him, you are an American citizen, and you get this bad grade in English, you bring shame to your status of being an, American, his father was, very, mean towards him.”, Randall was afraid of his father when he was young, but in these past four years as he’d gone alone to the U.S. to study, their relationship had, improved to much better, but Cui was more than grateful for her husband’s authoritarian, military methods of educating their son, “he’d gone to the U.S. to study music on his own, and he keeps himself in check, never done anything bad, this, I’m thankful toward my husband, for.”

So, despite how the world had, advanced, the past generations that were raised on the “physical discipline methods” still couldn’t change their ways of bringing up their own, young, and they’d, passed this sort of awful physical discipline methods to their own young, and, this woman looked back, and saw what she’d done wrong, because she, without awareness from before, passed the way she was raised, to raising her own son up, but she’d changed her ways, and, now, her son is very close to her.

There’s still HOPE for the parents who were raised wrong by their own parents, who are raising their own next generations, so long as these parents realized that they were raised using the WRONG means by their own adult parents from before, and CHANGE how they’re now raising their own next generations, there’s that chance of bettering the relationships here.

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May 2, 2026 · 1:26 am

Parents Who Deceive Their Own Young

How the children will pick up on the adults’ deceiving them, and they will grow up in your lies, and will in turn, LIE to you when you grow old too, because they always MODEL after their adult counterparts’ behaviors and attitudes too…translated…

The Children Learn to Deceive from the Parents at a Very Young, Age………

As I was, sorting through the diaries I’d written during my children’s younger years, I was surprised to see, that I’d recorded how my eldest child, at age five, already knew to question the adults, “are you trying to deceive me?”

The Children Model After the Parents’ Deception by Observing

The English word he’d used, meant both deceiving, and coaxing, and most of it, weren’t about the serious betrayals, or the truths getting turned upside down, that sort of more severe kind of lies, but it all had the state of mind of the adults’ slyness in the way we interact with one another, plus a sort of an add-on kind of dishonesty when we tried brushing him, off.

I believe, that I must’ve written this down, as I saw how my child was growing more intelligent, and becoming adult, and I was, intrigued by him, and I deeply believed, that spending the huge amounts of money to send him to a Montessori preschool was money well-spent, and I’d not thought much about the rest.

For the children of that age, the way we parents can, fool our kids, were mostly on fooling them to eat the foods we believe would give them the nutrition they needed but they’d disliked, not wanting our kids to become picky eaters; reminding, to warning them of what sorts of behaviors, and situations might be, dangerous, not wanted them to get hurt.  For the parents, we’d used all we got, to coax, to educate, to socialize our young, and ultimately, we only set sight on the results and disregarded the processes, and being evasive became nothing more than a means to an, end.

illustration from UDN.com

Actually, when kids are quite young, they’d learned the many ways of deceptions from the adults.  These means may seem harmless at first, but as they accumulated, it may become misleading.  Especially as our children grew older, and can tell the difference between our tones of voice, detect our motives, then the evasive means we used stopped being about “you should eat your vegetables”, these smaller matters of their, lives.  It may switch into, “just follow instructions, stop asking so much questions”, or, “you will understand when you’re older”, to a sort of the authoritarian adults’ ways of not explaining things to the children, using delayed gratification as the way we can, coax our young.

From the angle of language usage, what this attitude duplicates is not the contents of what we’d told the children, but how we used this attitude.

When the children learned that languages are being used in exchange for compliance, omitting the explanations to delaying the conflicts, they will interpret it as: the words I say don’t need to be factual, so long as I get what I needed.

Deception Should Not be Use as a Coping Mechanism

Even later, they will use similar manipulations in other areas, realms of their, lives—the adults’ perfunctory means of the systems they live under, the flexibilities of adults’ following the rules, the going back on their promises; the ambiguous ways the teachers spoke to us, the magnified effect of the advertisements, and all the policy proposals in society that’s everywhere.  All of these, scattered experiences, combined with what the children learned of how the adults had used the evasive means to socialize them, can respond to each other, and slowly set up the understanding of “this is how the world works”.

And the adults simply don’t stop being evasive because the kids are older now, and harder to fool.  Unfortunately, there are the parents whom, with their children are growing more mature, who’d stopped deceiving their young.

The effects of being evasive, won’t vanish on their own with our coming of age, but they would change in forms: from the coaxing of the childhood years, turned into the flexible explanations for promises failed to, keep, the words when we can’t fulfill our responsibilities for some things, along with avoidance in issue in our relationships.  All of these, seemingly smart ways of handling, it’s actually, and extension of the same logic in deceiving those around us with the words.

a child getting caught for lying! Photo from online

We all have the chances, to change this behavior at any given time, to not allow being evasive to turn into how we interact with our external environment.  Or, at least, we shouldn’t mislead our children into believing, that being evasive should get used as a tool.  Because, the coming-lately corrections of their behaviors will boomerang, back to us, the adults who are, parents to the children.

You will see, that the grown children will soon, deceive their aging parents, just as the parents had deceived the when they were, young.

And so, this is how something we think would be harmless, like those, little white lies, snowball, into something MAJOR, because this IS accumulated, and because we adults believe that it’s no big deal, that we don’t tell our young the truths, we think we can get away with it, but ultimately, this bullshit we used on our young, will boomerang back towards us, and it will be with a lot more strengths, forces compared to when we began bullshitting our own young on the smaller stuff.

So, do NOT lie to your children, because they would know it, and children are still, WAY more intelligent than all you, STUPID adults, COMBINED!

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April 15, 2026 · 2:57 am

My Daughter’s Orderly Mess, a Lesson of Letting Go I was Forced to, Learn

The mother finally realized, that her “for your own good” doesn’t, benefit her young, and stopped doing what SHE believes is good for her daughter, and let her daughter handle her own life!  Translated…

My daughter is a stereotypical engineering major, she’s now in her doctoral program, and yet, her bedroom was, too messy.  The books, clothes, and other objects, items, set in her own, orderly, mess, and I just, couldn’t understand the logic behind this, so-called order of, hers.

In the past, I’d still gone to her place, to help her clean up, and of course, I’d had to get her, consent first.  The suite she now lives in, was originally my husband’s, studio for work, later, we’d allowed her to live independently there.  Every time before I was to go, I’d always told myself, just pick up the mess in the general sense, don’t go into the detail cleaning, and yet, as I’d entered into the apartment, I’d always, started from the floors in the living room, the bedroom, the kitchen, from the tabletops to the, floor, to the point my back ached, my legs were, completely, numbed out.

the parent sees this…photo from online

I’d read awhile back of the YouTuber blogger, QQmei on FB, shared her understanding of her kids’ ways of, life, she didn’t talk about education to her audience, but on how the parents should, take a step, back from the kids’, lives.  That post of hers, it’d, made me, halt, and I’d, thought about it a long, long, time, and it’d, made me, review over the things I’d done repeatedly up to the, point.

Actually, I saw the problems.  That every time it took a lot out of me, to tidy up my daughter’s apartment, then, she’d returned it back to its, originally, unkempt, state shortly thereafter.  More importantly, I’d slowly come to understand, that my daughter didn’t need her living environment to be that tidy, nor did she need the living space of hers to be, completely, dustless.  That was my standards, and maybe, she didn’t take it as, hers too.

This understanding, it’d not just made me feel loss, but also, a reality I can’t avoid any longer.  All this time, I’d been doing all of this “for her own good”, she may see it as me, meddling into her, life.

And so, I’d learned to, back up.  We live in our, separate, spaces, we don’t see one another often as is, then, I shall, ignore all the mess I see then.  Otherwise, I’d driven a long, time to go see her, spent all my energies in  cleaning up for her, and, I’d only gained the temporary cleanliness, and the repeated feelings of, my own, defeat, it’s too, meaningless.

And slowly, I’d realized, that I’m the one who’s, overly, anxious.  She’s the one living in that space, she can accept living like that, and it’d not, interfered with her work, her studies, or her plans of life.  Looking now at me, I kept on, not being able to let go of the sense of my responsibilities of “the duties of a mother is to set things up completely for my young”.

And still, the kids will eventually grow up.  They will, eventually, take responsibility for their own, lives, if the parents still clung on to them too tightly, it will only, burden both sides.

and she’d felt compelled to do this…photo from online

Letting go isn’t not caring completely, but to admit to ourselves, that our child’s life, is hers to, shoulder, her, responsibilities to live.

This for me, is a lesson in parenting that came at the right, timing.  Learning to respect my daughter for her choices in life, and also, giving the me, that feels too anxious all the time, worrying about my daughter too.

And so, this is this mother’s, finally, allowing her daughter to grow independent psychologically from her, in realizing, that hey, maybe my daughter’s mess IS her order for her, and if I kept on picking up her mess (b/c it looked messy to me!), I’m only doing what I THINK is good for her, without actually asking, hey, am I doing what’s benefiting to you kid?  And with that, this woman stopped, slaving herself away, in cleaning up her own daughter’s, orderly mess, because she realized that hey, her daughter’s mess (perceived by her subjectively) IS order to her daughter in her daughter’s, life.

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March 28, 2026 · 8:55 am

When We BLAME Social Media for Influencing Our Children…

We (by we I mean, YOU!!!, because I don’t have biological children here…) blame the social media (i.e. Twitter, TikTok, FB, etc., etc., etc.) for MAKING our (collectively speaking) children do dangerous things (i.e. that suffocation challenge on TikTok from…uh, how long ago was that again???), or whatever SHIT’s trending right now (how the FUCK should I know!!!), we are, evading OUR responsibilities as parents who should BE watching our young more closely, but we simply don’t have the time, nor the energies, to MONITOR those babies, 24/7, we gotta make the money, put food on the tables, and those piles of bills are, overdue, piling up, CEILING high right now…

I get, that it’s not easy, but, you are the ones (two CONSENTING ADULTS!) who decided: hey, let’s FUCK, and out popped them, pretty little mistakes, and because you can’t find the time to WATCH your babies closely enough, you’d, OUTSOURCED your childrearing TO social media, and now, your kids had picked up some, bad habits (how the HELL should I know what they are???) you blame the social media platforms, for INFLUENCING your children?

from the professional, PSYCHIATRISTS or PSYCHOLOGISTS…off of YouTube

Kids’ Social Media Use: What Psychologists Recommend Parents Do – YouTube

When in REALITY, you FUCKING (so???) adults should’ve BEEN the ones, looking after your own young, (and you may make the excuses of “I gotta work, our mortgage just went up 45-percent this quarter, or that the utilities bills are up by 35-percent, etc., etc., etc.) to EVADE taking responsibilities for watching your babies, closely!

And yeah, maybe, social media IS, partially to blame for our kids being, badly, influenced, after all, you CAN’T avoid using social media in this, modern day world right now…

But it IS irresponsible, that YOU fucking stupid parents, evade responsibilities of watching OVER your own young, I mean, nobody FORCED you to have your children, and, it IS your JOB (and no, you weren’t paid for it!), to WATCH over your young, to make sure that they grow up safe, and healthy, and now, you’re, scapegoating these social media platforms (like TikTok, for those, suffocation challenges that kids are, modeling after???), or maybe, it’s how kids are, getting DUMBER by the generations, because they are way too, easily, influenced by all those, “influencers” out there, who knows…

This is BULLSHIT, if you ask me, but hey, WHO asked Y-O-U!!!  Exactly.

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March 26, 2026 · 2:44 am

Getting My Children to Get Their Dad to Help Them with Things, to Ensure They Have a Good Father-Child Relationship

The woman here, is the “connecting link”, between her husband and her, child, she’d SET things up for them to interact, by MAKING her husband participate in their child’s life, by using three simple words: go ask DAD!!!  Translated…

When I was on shift, I’d encountered parents who’d come to pay for the children’s tuitions, that day, my coworker, A, after XX’s mom left, she’d told me, “it’s an interesting dynamic, the meals are paid for by the mom, the tuitions, by the, dad.”  I can’t help but smiled, “it’s like this at my house too, I pay for the smaller charges, the bigger, call on my, husband”.

As A heard, she’d opened her eyes wide, looking surprised, “oh yeah!  We have a joint account, and that’s how we pay for the shared charges, while we are each in charge of our own, personal expenses.  Wouldn’t it be too troubling the way you do it?  How do you know what’s huge and what’s, small?”

A was absolutely, correct, this was, troubling, and, there were the issues of, do the kids go get mom to pay, or do they, go to, their, dad for the, funds?  As my kids have doubts, I’d usually, encourage (entice) my kids, “go get your dad to pay”, I’d also, trained them to use their, verbal, expressions in this; this is not because I was, too calculating, but, to help my kids start knowing how to, financial plan, besides, as they negotiated with their dad, it would, increase their connections to one another, that’s another, kind of, intimacy in their, lives.

go get your dad to read to you…photo from online

My husband is an entrepreneurial investor, with no set time of work, no days off, he’s constantly racing time, battling with, money.  His schedule was different than the kids’, only in the depth of night, can he find the time, to play with my kids who are already, fast, asleep, for his own, self-amusement, and it’d made my heart ache to see.  And so, I’d always, tried to create opportunities for them to interact, every time both my child and my husband are there at home, “go find dad, go get dad to help you out”, became my overtly used phrase, and my husband often, became, completely silent, at my son’s millions of, “whys”, or had to, fix the toys my son broke, and forced to, stop himself from thinking of how to make more in the investments…………………

“Why don’t you get mom to help you?”, as my husband stated to my child, there’s no evading responsibilities, nor impatience, but full of love, pride, and, self-confidence, like he was boasting to me, “see, I’m still the go-to-guy!”

His smiles, he’d worn, proudly, but, he’d not figured how this plan of mine, had been, too, thoroughly, thought and, planned, out, “the kids only have one childhood to live”, he understood this, it’s just, that he got caught up in the every day living, and couldn’t see.  Thankful, for me, the visionary, helping them to, connect, they were able to fix up their, slowly estranging, relationship with one another.

your toy’s broken??? Go get dad to fix it for you…photo from online

Money hurts the feelings, as the saying, goes, but not for my husband, who’d become, agile in emotional planning, he’d used money, to get the kids to interact with him more, from the allowances, to savings, to help them tell the differences between their needs and wants, allocations of their funds, bookkeeping, to investing to make more……he became, so animated in teaching the kids, and as I watched them interact, my eyes, glowed too, it’d proven, that this “scheme” I’d come up with, worked!

And so, this is, the divisions of tasks in the home, to get your kids to be closer to their father, because kids need BOTH parents, and by having your children go to your husband for things they need help on, you’d helped connected them, and made sure that your husband has an ACTIVE role in your children’s, lives.

This is so successful, because you were, too thoughtful!

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February 13, 2026 · 3:14 am

How Parents Expressed Their Love, Care & Concern for Their Young by Talking Down AT Them

How the parents’ expectations of their young, trap them into that VICIOUS cycle, as this still gets passed down from one generation to the next, until, one generation decides: hey, I need to, stop this SHIT, and steer life into, a new, direction, but that’s not that easy, so…translated…

One Day, the Children Will Ultimately Come to Understand, that Their Success & Achievements, Had Been, Birthed Out of Their Own Parents’, Insecurities, and We’d, Mistakenly Believed, that the Problems Were, Our from Before………………

There’s a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame that belonged to the Asian female actress Wen Min Na.  From “The Joy Luck Club”, “Mulan”, to “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, in the primarily white movie industries of America, she’d walked through her long career in acting.  At age sixty-one, she’d tweeted a line on social media, which busted the wound of many Asian children wide, open, “when I showed off my achievements to my mother, she’d still used provocative words to try to get under my, skins”, and her mother is past age ninety.

In the comments sections, came the endless support to her.  There was, “if Min Na Wen who voice-acted for ‘Mulan’ couldn’t get approval from her own, mother, then, which one of us, can?”

Our Parents’ Words, Take Them with a Grain of, Salt

I’d realized, that I’d felt, that strong connection over the response for that anonymous reader.  It’s just, that it’d happened to me, when I was, before age thirty: the me then, had already been established in my career, with sizable, income already, by age eighteen, I’d become, self-sufficient, part-timed through my graduate studies, earned my, master’s degree; and I can proudly state, that compared to my younger and older brothers, I was the one, that my parents, didn’t need to worry as much over.  The only thing I can think of, that would upset my own mother, was that I didn’t have a boyfriend, that I’d been single, for, many, years on, end.

And so, for a very long, long time, my mother started, becoming overly critical of my, appearances, my hairstyles, my makeup, she’d talked badly about the clothes I’d gone out and bought for myself.  She’d believed, that my tastes weren’t as good as, hers, that I wasn’t, rounded enough, that was why I couldn’t, attract a, man.

how verbal abuse gets “masked” as love…illustration from UDN.com

And thinking of all of this now, these are, all very, subjective prejudices, and nagging from her, but it’d made me upset, hearing her nag still.  I’d asked my mother, why she’d still picked on me, even though I was, more outstanding than my older and younger brothers?  And she’d, given me a principle which a ton of Chinese women went shopping by, “being picky means you know what you’re, choosing!”, and the real meaning was, “picking on you, I’m actually, praising, you.”

Or maybe, this sort of a “verbally talking down meant praising”, we shouldn’t read too much into them, and that we must, adapt ourselves to them, to the point of, training ourselves to, stay half-deaf on.

The Forms of Love, Sometimes is Really, Distorted

The criticisms that recurred often within the families, usually come from the experiences, the emotions of our, former generations, sometimes, it’s more like that deeply rooted down culture, and we take its existence as, matter-of-fact—the adults believe that this is a form of love, that included the supervising of their young, protecting them, and care and concerns; and yet, in the minds of the offspring, it’d become interpreted as negative, to the point of, burdening.

Even as we entered into midlife and older years of life, we’d still felt, injured by these sorts of statements.  Min Na Wen’s situation, it isn’t hard, to see, how a mother and daughter who are close to thirty years apart, argued hard, how humorous the scene, yet, how resigned it must, be.

Clearly, Min Na Wen cared a whole lot about what her mother thinks of, her, to the point of how she couldn’t, ignored her mother’s attitudes toward her for long.  To how she’d responded to the fans’ support of her, that becoming an actress was the only way she could prove that she could do something, and stated, that she knew her mother loves her, but they couldn’t find that emotional connection toward, each other still, and she could only find the emotional support she needed from the fans.

And, there were the empathetic comments which had, “in some parents’ minds, no matter how successful their kids became, they still fall short, because they didn’t live up to the expectations of their, parents’.”

Many children are doing excellently in the academia, always wind up too tightly, with the motivations of being not good enough, that they may let their parents, down.  And one day, the children will ultimately come to, understand, that their achievements, their successes, had been birthed out of their own parents’, insecurities, and mistakenly believed, that they were the problem from when they were young, and it was never, that.

it’s for your OWN good, stated the adult! Illustration from online, and how do YOU think the one on the “receiving end” of this feels???

The criticisms, the talking down, may be how our parents expressed their love for us, in a distorted, manner, but undeniably, this form of love, doesn’t, feel at all, like love to, us.  The American psychologists’ advice for this problem is: through ignoring the words, and not listening to them, to avoid getting, damaged, to reduce the impacts of our parents’ words have on us.  But, then again, this initiation of a protective mechanism, isn’t it cyclic of how the parents believed that their parents are, “rebellious” and “misbehaving”?

And so, this IS, a vicious cycle, that we are all living under, we always felt that we have to, live up to our parents’ expectations for us, to get high grades, to get high-end jobs, to marry, to have children, blah-blah-blah, and our parents are only, passing the exact IDENTICAL expectations that their own parents oppressed them with, to us, but because our parents aren’t aware of this enough, they couldn’t stop this SHIT, but in our generations (hopefully, we are all, WISE enough, because of how much SHIT we’d bore witness to???), we can actively decide, to NOT pass this same kind of SHIT down to our young, but that’s, rarely the case, because this SHIT is EXACTLY like DNA!  It WILL pass down from one generation to the next, because, we ain’t got no clue of what happened, and, even IF we got a CLUE, it still takes a whole lot of work, to decide: HEY we gotta change, to NOT pass this SHIT down to our own young, to NOT make them go through the exact same HELL we’d been put through by our own fucking stupid, parents, and that’s not that easy to do, so yeah, shit still rolls!

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January 31, 2026 · 4:29 am

The Love I’d Shown My Children, Returned in Kindness by Them Back, to Me

How these children had been raised by your love, and how they’re now, reciprocating the love you’d, shown to them, back to, you, when you, needed the help…this IS, a good example of how the members of a family interact with each other…translated…

On this, very morning, I took my three children, from Dallas, to the neighbor city of Owen for their piano lessons.  The two cities are a twenty-minute drive, but the weekly trip still made me, nervous; the freeways are too complex, too, intricate, if I lose my focus, I can easily miss the exit ramp; if I got onto the tollways, that would be, even more, unfortunate.

As I waited out of the classroom, the familiar barely noticeable pain started up from my lower abdomen, I’d thought, “shit, it’s, here”, that annoyance that came, with my period, that left me, weakened, made me want to, lie down where I was to rest.

As the kids finished their lessons, I’d told them, “mom’s not feeling well today, my period’s here, I feel, a bit, weak.  But let’s still go to Kroger’s to get your favorite foods, but I would need you two to help me out.”  I’d started, reading off the list, told them, that the mission upon us is, “get everything on the list we need, then, we go, homie.”, my three children nodded, like well-behaved, children.

illustration from UDN.com

What was accidental to me, that on the entire shopping trip, they’d not fought to sit in the cart, didn’t pester me about getting them this snack or that, and even as we got home, they’d fought to help me carry in the groceries.  As I’d parked the car, turned the engine off, my eldest daughter told me in a light tone of voice, “mom, do you know what I was thinking about just now?”, “Tell me!”, she’d looked at me, with that seriousness about her, “I was thinking…what would happen, if you passed out, as you were, driving?”

The words shot into my heart like the arrow.

I’d taken her hand, taught her to turn on the warning lights of the car, to push down on the brake pedals, to pull the brakes up, to call 9-1-1, and how to protect herself when she’s inside the car.  Seeing how focused she was learning all of this for me, it’d made me, cry.  I held her face in my hands, said, “are you my little, genius?  Whatever made you think of all of this?  Mom never seen any nine-year-old as amazing as you, are!”, she’d started, smiling, like a, bright little, flower then.

And I knew better than she had: she saw my face turned pale, how I didn’t have enough strength as I carried myself by walking, how she’d, started up her own, protective mechanism inside her, unpanicked, not running away either, was her way, of steadying me in her own, way.  That sudden onset of maturity, and that tenderness, was like the lid of the pressure cooker, the moment it’d gotten lifted, the heat came up toward my face: surprise, heartache, warmth, feeling that she didn’t have to carry so much……it all, took over my heart.  I’d pulled her into my arms, told her, “mommy will take good of myself, and I won’t pass out when I’m, driving, don’t you worry about a thing.”

As we left the supermarket, I watched my three kids with the fruits, milk, vegetables in the backs, my eyes got teary, again.  For a very long, long time, I’d gotten used to having the bags on my arms, on my shoulders, with the water bottles, snacks, coats, used to carrying everything by my own, self, to the point of not daring to expect, that someone is there to, help me with anything.  And yet, this beautiful fantasy, had become a, wonderful, reality, on one morning I felt, too, weakened.

As I arrived home, I’d gone into my room to lie down to rest.  My eldest daughter took my youngest daughter’s hand lightly, quietly walked to my door.  She’d told me, “mommy,  I will turn the light off, and put that night light on for you.”, my youngest also told, “mommy, you rest up now.”

They shut the door, and I was, hit hard, by that boomerang called “love”, all those years of giving to them wholeheartedly, everything I’d, shown to love them, it all got, returned back to me, today.

And, I’d started, crying then, underneath that dim light that my daughter had, left on, for me.

And so, these are the moments, that touched you, that brought you to, tears, not because of how your daughters had given back to you, as you’d, raised them with the right values, but how they, had been, socialized by you, to care for you, just as you’d, cared for them too, and this is a good example of how children modeled after their parents’ behaviors, because kids will feel our love for them, and saying I love you, sometimes means a whole lot less, compared to using your ACTIONS to show that you love your own young, like this mother had, socialized her own two young children well, loving them, unconditionally, and now, she’s been, blessed with the reciprocal, kindness from her own, young too.

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January 24, 2026 · 3:26 am

Two Special Needs Children in Our, Family

The hand that fate dealt these parents, giving them two special needs children…an alternative way of interpreting offered by the writer to her friend…translated…

“Why are the lessons of life this hard?  I’m just getting married!”, my friend told, me.

Falling in love, getting married, having children, all went smooth sailing, and yet, thirteen years in, she’d had to face the, trials.

My friend’s in-laws are traditional, despite how they’d suggested that she should have a son, but for their two children, they’re both, daughters, her husband stated to her that he won’t have another, and her in-laws stopped.  The three generation extended family, the atmosphere was pretty good.  Her in-laws cherished their granddaughters, but, as her eldest entered into middle school, she’d begun acting out, would start screaming, get upset a lot, even, start hitting, as they took her to the doctor, their daughter was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and her in-laws couldn’t accept this diagnosis, and started going around the temples, to ask the gods, the spirits, whenever they heard that whichever temple had the miracles happening to the believers, they’d gone.

And the result of running around the country, is that the adults became, completely, physically strained, but the child didn’t get better, and in the end, they can only, accept this as a fact, took her back into treatment at the hospital.  It’d been two years since her daughter was diagnosed, in the bad words of their relatives and families, the two of them were completely, strained, and they’d often just sat and cried in silence to one another, working and taking their daughter to get treated, and they also had to put up with the blames from those whom they knew, the burden became heavier than heavy for them.

these are the families, “gifted” with special needs children, because fate knows that these families can provide the care and give these children the love they needed to grow up strong with, photo from online

During that period of time, my friend passed the days in hardship and in a daze, thankful, her own family had given her a ton of support.  My friend’s mother worked hard to seek out advice from the medical professionals, tried her best to understand this condition, and finding the resources all she can; and with her own family’s help, the couple had finally found the way that was fitted to treat their, daughter, with her daughter’s symptoms under control now.  But around the same time, they’d found something was off with their second born daughter, the doctors diagnosed her with Asperger’s, they’d begun treatment for their second daughter, the treatments were effective, and they’d relearned the methods to teach their daughter, no longer blamed each other; although they still felt helpless, disappointed and loss, but, they no choice, but to play the hand that fate’s dealt, them.

On the day my friends shared all of this with me, I’d shared with her something in return, “there are many kinds of parents, and the parents with special needs children are especially chosen, because these special needs children need the parents with so much love, that way, they will be happy, and, the parents who can, give these special needs children the life, are the most, amazing of, all.”, I’d said, you guys are parents who can.  As she’d heard, she couldn’t stop, crying, said that she’d felt, very guilty, and she was grateful that I’d, offered a new perspective of interpreting this.  She’d told me, that her husband and she’d become more connected in their hearts, in coping with her daughter’s situation, they’d decided to stop blaming their fate, and accompanying their younger daughter wholeheartedly.  Despite how there are still the accusations against them from all around, she’d decided to tune all those noises out, because they are, the parents who can make sure that their child grows up, well and happy; no matter if it was before or after their daughter’s diagnosis, they’d still loved their child exactly the same, they believe, that they were the chosen ones, the parents, unique, to be blessed with their special needs, daughter.

And so, you see this woman, going from unable to accept that fate had dealt her this hand, to coming to full acceptance, that the fates knew that they’re able to, that’s why fate had given them their, special needs child, and with this change in her attitude, instead of why me, why had god been so unkind, to give me this special needs child, they’re now, moving on with the positive attitude of being on the same page with each other in providing the care that their child needs, in order to, thrive.

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Filed under Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Cost of Living, Family Matters, Fate, Life, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Values

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December 27, 2025 · 3:28 am

It’s Okay to Say No

Easier for a child to do it, because, the child doesn’t have that much to “lose”, but harder for adults, because we considered everything, making things, way too complicated than they have to, be…translated…

My fifth grade daughter loved sharing her days’ goings on with me, once there was a field trip of her afternoon care program, the instructor allowed them to bring the candies and cookies along, as everybody was exchanging the treats a third-grade boy whom my daughter didn’t know well approached and asked if he could have a cookie?  The rest of the classmates weren’t willing, but couldn’t tell him now, and still offered it to the boy.  As he’d gotten to my daughter, my daughter told him no flat out, then the rest of her classmates also, started saying no to the boy asking them for the foods.

if only, it’s as easy as holding up a sign…photo from online

Although this is only a minor interlude in my daughter’s day, I was in awe at my daughter’s saying no, because I wasn’t adept enough to do so myself.  The things I don’t want to agree with, but because of interpersonal connections, I couldn’t, worried that the person I was turning down takes it too personally, or maybe, it’s how I’d been raised, that sharing is a virtue.  But, the item belongs to you, if you don’t want to share, then, say it straight “no!”, there’s no need to offer a reason even, just, say no, it feels, great!

And I’d asked my daughter how she could say no to the boy?  She’d told me, that I’d, taught her that if she didn’t want to, then she should just, express it verbally.it seems,, things ARE, easier said then, done!

So, your daughter had, put your values that you’d instructed her by to work, while you couldn’t, and it would be easier for a young child to say no to someone asking her/him for something, because there’s not that much to consider, I mean, if you say no to some kid, the most that can happen is the kid stopped being your friends, but if you’re an adult, saying no may have the extra problems of how you think the other person can see you as, and all of that, messes with our minds, and we still went along with what we don’t want to do in the first place!

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Filed under Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

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December 10, 2025 · 1:32 am

Looking Through My Daughter’s Eyes

How the child’s innocence, is what we all need, to get the, simpler joys, back in our, lives…translated…

I quite enjoy my conversations with my two-year-old young daughter.  I began examining the world through her, perspectives, and everything became, new, colorful, and more, interesting.

For instance, recently a friend of mine got married, we’d taken our young daughter to offer my friend the blessings of a good marriage, other than focusing on the eating and drinking, my daughter had also, kept applauding the newlywed; as the bride and groom offered their toasts to the table, she’d also raised her tiny cup high, and it’d made the newlywedded couple stop and clinked the glasses with her.  Later, I’d asked her, if she knew what weddings are for?  She’d told me, “the bride offering me a present, for you to, eat!”, I’d immediately noted how she was talking about the sweet candies for the wedding ceremonies.

like this song by McBride, off of YouTube

And, she would play coy with us, loved using an assortment of reasons to get us to give her hugs, only when we’re out she would insist, “when we stroll, baby walks on her own!”  Once, due to how we were short on time, I’d, picked her up and walked quickly, as we crossed the crosswalks, she saw the signals, and stated, with her hint of disappointment, “look, the little green man gets to walk on his, own……”, I couldn’t help but chuckled.  The little green man will turn to the red light, child, and needs rest too, we should, head home now!

And so, these are, the random, tiny moments you shared with your young child, and, it’s wonderful, because of how inexperienced in the world they are, they look at the world through a different angle, a more simpler, a more naïve, a much more innocent one that we adults do, and, that’s what we need sometimes, a reminder, of how simple things can actually be, if only, we examine the world through the child’s, eyes.

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Filed under Childhood, Family Matters, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life