Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wow-Pregnancy hormone overload!
So I am just going to blame all my crazy emotions on my pregnancy but I know a lot of it is me. I am anxious, I am sentimental, I have a hard time with change, I worry too much about the future, etc, etc. All of these emotions have been especially surfacing over this past week,. As the delivery of our baby boy is fast approaching, my brain just can't stop spinning! Maybe some of you felt the same way. My emotions will change so dramatically even from hour to hour. I will be super excited about him coming and then panicked! Now I must give myself credit because if you were to see me right now you would probably think I seem pretty calm but I am good at hiding it. It is true that sometimes I feel calm but sometimes I don't. Part of my emotions is just plain freaked out. I am nervous about nursing again(it was so horrible the first time), the sleepess nights, getting out of the house with two children, still giving Savanna the attention she needs, calming a fussy baby, etc. Then like I said before a part of me is excited and just ready for him to come. I can't wait to see what he looks like, what his personality is like, and how Savanna will respond to him. The most pronounced emotion I have been having today is being really sentimental about letting go of this special time I have had with just Savanna and I. Did anyone else who has two children feel this way? I actually was looking at her while we were eating lunch today and started crying thinking of all the great times and memories we have had over the past couple years. I know isn't that pathetic? Savanna looked at me and said, "Mommy sad?" And I said, "No I just love you." and she smiled. I know that this next chapter in our lives will be wonderful but there is always a part of me that is sad about letting go of where I am now. When TC and I got married I was kind of sad about letting go of my single life and moving out of our singles ward, then I was kind of sad about having Savanna because I was letting go of that time with just TC and I. I think I just realize that no matter what is coming it will be really different! I also try to hold onto all these memories of my past but realize that they fade and eventually I probably won't remember very well what it was like before Clark was around. In a way that makes me sad but I guess that is how it is supposed to me. Wow, anyway I guess the whole point of this post is I am a sentimental freak! Just kidding-kind of I guess. I feel what I can learn from all this is enjoy every stage of our lives and our children's lives because it changes so quickly and you can never go back. I remember when Savanna was younger I would think-I can't wait until she sleeps through the night or until she crawls and now I just try to savor every moment because children just grow up so stinkin fast. Well thanks for listening everyone. I know what you are thinking. What Ashley is licensed to perform therapy? She should be seeing one herself-lol. (And fyi, I don't think there is anything wrong with therapy for anyone. I highly encourage it.)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Baby Shower Fun!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I love that my little girl loves me!!
So just have to share how precious Savanna was the other night. It apparently started out by me traumatizing her but ended with me feeling so loved and valued as her mommy! So my friend, Andrea, wanted to go to a gardening class Thursday night but TC was working later that night and children were not allowed at the class. Anyway, I called her up to tell her that I would not be able to come because TC wouldn't be home in time to watch Savanna. Anyway, she is so nice and insisted that I bring Savanna over to her house and she could play with her little girl who is about 18 months. It would only be for about an hour. Anyway, she has been over there a couple times before and I thought she would be fine. Aparently not. She was ok for maybe about 15 minutes and then told Andrea's husband that she was ready to go, put her coat on and started to put her shoes on and asked, "Is Mommy coming?" When he told her not yet she got very upset and kept crying for Mommy over and over again. Well TC got home before my class was over and picked her up and I got home just a little bit later. Anyway, when I got home she was absolutely ecstatic. She kept hugging me, kissing me, and saying "Mommy's home!" Mommy's here!" It was really sweet. Then the next morning she told me about 3 times "Savanna was crying for Mommy. Savanna needed her mommy." It warmed my heart. At the same time, I don't know why she is kind of going through this separation anxiety thing, she is usually fine with other people but it still helped me feel loved. (She has not really been around my friend's husband without us there so that could have something to do with it.)
Also, we took Savanna to Disney on Ice last night and she had a great time. There was a Princess pre-show and the ice show was awesome. She especially loved seeing Nadar from "Cars" and Ariel. Here are some pictures from the event.
