Learn Chinese Weekly

That’s easier said than done, as we all come from different families with diverse backgrounds. In particular, difficulties often arise in cross-cultural marraiges not long after the honeymoon is over. It will take a greater effort to try to fit a square to a circle, or vice versa, after the initial patience and tolerance wear out.

There are different wedding traditions and customs followed by people in different countries and localities. Up until the middle of the 20th century, most marriages in China were arranged by the parents or by the matchmakers. In many cases, the very first time the groom-to-be and the bride-to-be met each other was on their wedding night. The head and face of the bride, who was dressed all in red, would be concealed under an opaque veil. When the couple were finally by themselves in their bedroom, the groom would then have the privilege of lifting the veil. Chapter 10 of “Learn Chinese through Songs and Rhymes” features the folk song “Lift Your Veil”, in which the groom admires the beauty of the bride he has just uncovered (and with which you can learn how to form descriptive phrases in Chinese). It wasn’t until 1950 when China passed the New Marriage Law, which made arranged marriages and concubines illegal.

现在, 一般来说，情侣是自己或通过朋友认识的.
Xiànzài, yībān lái shuō, qínglǚ shì zìjǐ huò tōngguò péngyǒu rènshí de.
At present, generally a couple meet each other by themselves or through friends.

他们相识并相爱.
Tāmen xiāngshí bìng xiāng’ài.
They get acqainted and fall in love.

通常都是由男方向女方求婚.
Tōngcháng dōu shì yóu nán fāngxiàng nǚfāng qiúhūn.
Normally, it’s the man who proposes to the woman.

他们会寻求父母的同意和祝福.
Tāmen huì xúnqiú fùmǔ de tóngyì hé zhùfú.
They will seek their parents’ approval and blessing.

然后, 他们订婚了.
Ránhòu, tāmen dìnghūnle.
Then, they get engaged.

按照台湾习俗, 男方要赠送聘金给女方家长.
Ànzhào táiwān xísú, nánfāng yào zèngsòng pìnjīn gěi nǚfāng jiāzhǎng.
By the Taiwanese custom, the man will present the bride’s parents with betrothal money.

准新娘通常会给新家庭带来珠宝,
Zhǔn xīnniáng tōngcháng huì gěi xīn jiātíng dài lái zhūbǎo,
The bride-to-be usually brings to the new family her dowry in the form of jewelry,

家具和/或电器等嫁妆.
jiājù hé/huò diànqì děng jiàzhuāng.
furniture and/or appliances.

男方会为女方订购盒装礼饼或者蛋糕,
Nánfāng huì wèi nǚfāng dìnggòu hé zhuāng lǐ bǐng huòzhě tián dàngāo,
The man will order boxed gift cookies or cakes for the woman’s family

以分发给女方所有的亲戚.
yǐ fēnfā gěi nǚfāng suǒyǒu de qīnqī.
to distribute to all of the woman’s relatives.

结婚当天, 新郎和新娘将交换誓言和戒指.
Jiéhūn dàngtiān, xīnláng hé xīnniáng jiāng jiāohuàn shìyán hé jièzhǐ.
On the day they get married, the groom and the bride will exchange vows and rings.

婚宴费用由男方家人支付.
Hūnyàn fèiyòng yóu nánfāng jiārén zhīfù.
The wedding banquet will be paid for by the groom’s family.

参加婚宴的宾客都会携带装有现金的红包作为礼物.
Cānjiā hūnyàn de bīnkè dūhuì xiédài zhuāng yǒu xiànjīn de hóngbāo zuòwéi lǐwù.
Guests attending the wedding banquet will bring as gifts red envelopes containing cash.

然后就是蜜月期.
Ránhòu jiùshì mìyuè qī.
Then comes the honeymoon.

从此他们过着幸福的生活.
Cóngcǐ tāmenguòzhe xìngfú de shēnghuó.
And they lived happily ever after.

当然, 这只会在童话故事里发生.
Dāngrán, zhè zhǐ huì zài tónghuà gùshì li fāshēng.
Of course, this only happens in fairy tales.

婚姻是终身的伙伴关系.
Hūnyīn shì zhōngshēn de huǒbàn guānxì.
Marriage is a lifelong partnership.

成功的婚姻是由爱, 信任, 尊重, 忠诚,
Chénggōng de hūnyīn shì yóu ài, xìnrèn, zūnzhòng, zhōngchéng,
A successful marriage is nurtured by love, trust, respect, faithfulness,

宽容和合作孕育出来的.
kuānróng hé hézuò yùnyù chūlái de.
tolerance and cooperation.

令人遗憾的是, 许多婚姻以离婚告终.
Lìng rén yíhàn de shì, xǔduō hūnyīn yǐ líhūn gàozhōng.
It’s regrettable that many marriages end in divorce.

I cannot but heave a sigh in admiration and disbelief when I read about the sweet couple featured in the humorous story “What The Old Man Does Is Always Right“, written by the Danish author Hans Christian Anderson. Click on the above link to watch an animated presentation of this story in Chinese. I suggest that you play the video at 0.75 times the normal speed so that you will be able to hear the Chinese voice-over more clearly.

正如我所说, 这只会在童话故事里发生.
Zhèngrú wǒ suǒ shuō, zhè zhǐ huì zài tónghuà gùshì li fāshēng.
Just as I said, this can only happen in fairy tales.

祝福所有六月新娘!
Zhùfú suǒyǒu liù yuè xīnniáng!
Blessings to all the June brides!

并祝父亲节快乐！
Bìng zhù fùqīn jié kuàilè!
And I wish you a Happy Father’s Day!