Thank you NBC

It makes my Wednesday nights that much better.. When I watch it online..
Oh and Catherine.. I know you're married and all, but maybe this will make up for the fat picture. Haha!

If my scales are right..

You should be able to take this and times it by 5.. the yellow stuff that is.. I'm sure there's some extra muscle in there too, in fact, I can guarantee it.

Workout Playlist

Okay.. so I don't work out this long, but sometimes I need back up songs. My friend reminded me that I hadn't posted my workout playlist so here you go. I'm not going to add links to all the songs, so you'll have to look them up yourselves.

Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Power - Kanye West
The Show Goes On - Lupe Fiasco
Yeah 3x - Chris Brown
The edge of Glory - Lady Gaga
99 Problems - Jay-Z (I sing along quietly, great breath catcher)
Runaway Baby - Bruno Mars
My Body - Young the Giant ( 4 stars, great song when you're ready to give up)
Gonna Fly Now - Bill Conti
You Make Me Feel - Cobra Starship
Outta Your Mind - Lil Jon and LMFAO
Untouched - The Veronicas (great pace song)
A Kiss with a fist - Florence + the machine
Otis - Jay-Z feat Kayne West
Public Service Announcement - Jay-Z
Sexy and I know it - LMFAO
Without You - David Guetta feat Usher
Show me what you got - Jay-Z
Drop it like it's hot - Snoop Dogg
Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
Lucifer - Jay-Z
It Takes Two - DJ EZ Rock and Rob Bass
Forever - Chris Brown
Lose Control - Missy Elliott feat Ciara
Black Betty - Ram Jam
Womanizer - Britney Spears
Disco Inferno - 50 Cent
Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown feat T-Pain
Dirt of your shoulder - Jay-Z
Crazy in Love - Beyonce
3 - Britney Spears
You're so damn hot - OkGo
Change Clothes - Jay-Z
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
Get it poppin' - Fat Joe
Get Over It - OkGo
Lean Back remix - Fat Joe
Lighters - Bad Meets Evil
Lose Yourself - Eminem
My Chick Bad - Ludacris feat Nicki Minaj
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
Piece of Me - Britney Spears
Holding out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler
Heartbreaker - Pat Benetar
Black Sweat - Prince
Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber feat Sean Kingston
Icky Thump - The White Stripes

So this is 3 hours long.. but you know, sometimes you can't listen to the same thing over and over again.. this gives you some options. Did I forget anything? Oh and I guess I like Jay-Z... hmm..

I may be a bit obsessed

Today is the first time I haven't gone to the gym in 13 days. I took a 4 hour nap instead. And ate 2 cookies and 1/3 of a dunford doughnut. I think I put my system into shock

I taught Relief Society today. I learned again that I personally have nothing to do with the way the lesson is given. I just stand there and the Spirit takes over. I prepared for maybe 2 hours, from midnight to 2am this morning which as everyone know is the optimal time to prepare a lesson. As soon as I started the discussion just took off, everyone participated, sharing thoughts, examples, stories. I had 5 or 6 topics to discuss and we really only covered one. It was great! I love those lesson. Maybe next time I should really try to prepare.

I made some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins for this morning to bribe everyone to get to church on time. Funny thing is that I was late. And apparently so was everyone else. There were 5 sisters when I came in. I wish that we could get more sisters there. It is such a great group and we have a really good time. Anyway.. the muffins.. I found this low-fat recipe and they're actually quite tasty. It calls for 3 cups of sugar, but I only did 2 and it turned out just fine. I think next time I'll add some applesauce to increase the moistness and maybe help it from not sticking to the paper as much. I used the tall Ikea muffin tin and the recipe ended up making 36. So for me these muffins were great, 100 calories each, 2 grams of fat, 2 grams of protein. Excellent! Oh, and I used pumpkin pie seasoning (and doubled it) and extra dark chocolate chips. You should try them.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/barbs-pumpkin-chocolate-chip-muffins/detail.aspx

I have my performance evaluation at work on Tuesday. It has been in the back of my mind since it was scheduled last Tuesday. I'm kind of really nervous about it. I haven't done my best work, but it's not necessarily my fault.

Oh and ps. going to the gym everyday really increases your laundry. I went to my sister's house yesterday to watch the BYU game and ended up doing 4 loads of laundry. It was crazy! Now I need to put everything away.. boo!

Enough ramblings for now.

Biggest Loser and then some

Best quote of the night, courtesy of Antone from Biggest loser. "I don't that I'm qualified to deal with Jennifer. I think Jennifer needs like a whole team of doctors. I think we need to call Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, you know, Dr. Oz and maybe even call Dr. Dre and maybe we can deal with Jennifer at that point. But let me tell you, we're all adults and I'm not about to hold any body's hand and say please come on. Nobody's ignored. You know where the gym is, let's go to work."

I've actually watched every episode so far this season. It's crazy how much weight they lose, but they are spending 8ish hours in the gym every day and have their fridge stocked for them. It still gives me motivation to go to the gym and work my hardest.

Tonight I did the elliptical for a full 30 minutes. I probably didn't push myself as hard as I could have, but the fact that I was able to stay on for that long was nigh unto a miracle. The last time I was on the elliptical I died at 5 minutes. It also helped to have my friend Jen with me. She talked while I worked out. It was fantastic. We then went up and did yoga. I've only done yoga once and it was a pain. The instructor tonight did really simple movements so it was easy for me to follow along. At then end she had us just lay there and stretch. I completely zoned out and came back totally refreshed. Working out with someone is so much better!

Things aren't going great at work. I'm really worried because I feel like everything I'm doing is wrong. I have my annual performance evaluation on Tuesday. I'm glad I have a PT session that night to work out all of my frustrations. I guess if I think so negatively about the evaluation that anything better than what I fear will be a blessing.

A hodge podge of stuff

I know all of my 5 readers were worried that it had been 4 days without a post. I hope you've survived!
Friday was a pretty horrendous day and I was positive it would carry over to today. It was actually a very good day at work. I got a lot of emails out and some scheduling done. I realized tonight that my favorite parts of work is when I'm helping someone. So that is the key for next job. I need to find something that allows me to help people.
I was able to leave work early so that I could drive down to Orem to take a test that I had forgotten about (I'm not really on top of my school work this semester). Anyway, I got down there in good enough time, parked in employee parking in hopes that I would be out before any parking enforcers came, and headed in to take my first test of the semester (I know, go ahead and hate me). It's for an introductory nutrition class that is supposed to be geared towards culinary arts majors. It was the same stuff I've learned since I was in 6th grade and it showed. I did the review yesterday, reading the chapters for the first time, and came out with a 96%. So it was either really really easy, or I'm a genius. I'm gonna go with the latter. Oh and no parking enforcers either so total score!
I made my way back up from Orem after making a quick trip to wal-mart for some more gym clothes (having to do laundry weekly so I can go to the gym in non-stinky clothes was getting old) I picked up my chili and went to fhe. It was a chili cook off. I didn't expect to win, which I didn't, but it was nice to participate and show people what I made. I stuck around for a bit of the comedic act (it was really good, but people weren't really paying attention, I felt sorry for the guy). Actually I started to get a little panicky being in a smallish room with a bunch of people that I didn't know. I'm impressed that I didn't run from the building, screaming my head off. And then I headed to the gym.
I had the best cardio workout. I do my cardio on the recumbent / seated bike. It's easier on my joints and I feel like I can push myself harder than on the treadmill, and it doesn't kick my butt as hard as the elliptical, which I'm working towards. Anyway, I was able to kick it up another notch on the intensity and did a full 60 minutes without stopping and without praying to Kronos to speed up the clock. I was a sweaty mess, but it felt soo good. The stretching spots were all full afterwards so I made a quick getaway so I could make it home before my muscles froze up. Hopefully I was able to stretch in time so I'm not sore for my training session tomorrow.
GI was really concerned on Friday when I weighed myself because I was up a few pounds. I worked extra hard this weekend, even went to the gym on Sunday, trying to drop the weight. Little did I know my hormones had another plan for me. Stupid hormones. I'm pretty proud of myself that I didn't partake in the Banbury Cross doughnuts provided at the mingle at church on Sunday. That was a never before event.
I have to say that these last 6 weeks have been amazing. I feel so much better already. I just wish that I would have done this sooner. And my biggest hope right now is that I can keep it up, don't let the discouragement take seed, and just realize what the potential is. I can't give up. I can't quit. I have to succeed this time. I need this for me.

Thank you again to everyone for all your love and support. It means the world to me me.

I think the endorphins have worn off now, so I'm going to head to bed. Good night blog land :)

something different

I got whore, funny and broke. HAHAHA what did you get?

Results

It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since we did my first measurements. According to the scales at the gym, I have lost 10.4 lbs. I knew that I had lost weight, but for some reason I was still really nervous. Matt picked up on this and was nice enough to try to ease my nervousness. He kept on telling me to just relax. I don't know what my deal is. I told him I know that I have lost weight, I like what my scales have said, but that's at home, in the morning, with nothing in my system (I didn't continue with the details). He said something like, yeah, but unfortunately I can't be there with you in the morning when you weigh in (awkward silence). Which is true.. so we'll take this weight. He also did calipers and inch measurements. He was half way done when he was like, oh yeah, I guess I should ask you if it's okay if I touch you. I told him that if it wasn't okay I would have told him by now. Plus it kind of just goes with the territory. The inches were a different story. He said most of the measurements stayed the same. I actually gained an inch in my biceps, which is weird to me, but I have some nice muscle definition now when I flex.

Matt was super happy for me. And I'm happy for me too. He said that I'm ahead of schedule since technically you're only supposed to be losing 2 lbs/week. But it seems you always lose a bit more when you're starting out. It only took us 15 minutes to measurements so we were able to get a good workout in as well. He had me do the resistance band circuit which is my favorite (enter sarcasm tone here). The bands aren't that bad and apparently I made it look too easy. On the third round he made me use the red and the blue band TOGETHER to do the back row. I need to not psych myself out. I was able to do them just fine, but it's the initial, "there's no way I can do that" that always gets to me.


So like this, but it was wrapped around a weight machine.. and I was holding on to two!

The 3 minute bike intervals are the things kill me. He's using this time to test how well my cardiac output is doing by getting my heart rate up quickly and then how quickly I'm able to adjust my breathing and get it under control. The second round was a bit taxing, but I didn't hyperventilate like I did last time so I'm gonna have to say we did good. And for some reason he thinks that when I'm working my hardest this is the best time to start a conversation. I just had to nod. There was no way I was able to talk. Oh and we also did push ups on the BOSU ball, cause that's just pure fun.


We went over my food diary at the end. He said I was doing really well. I'm still having a hard time staying within my fat grams goal, but I'm getting better, making better choices and when there is fat involved it's the good kind (nuts, fish, etc). The program has me at 2200 but I've really been staying around the 1800s. He said to stick with that, especially if I'm not hungry. The 2200 is going to be my cap for emergencies and if for some reason, I'm uncontrollably starving. I said something about eating this amazing cookie (I only had 3/4 of one when I usually have 3 or 4, go me!). He reminded me that we're not cutting all sugars/desserts out. We're not doing a diet, it's a change of lifestyle. If we were to cut out everything that I love (cookies, ice cream etc) I would fail. Which is true. It all comes down to moderation in all things.

I really really love having someone to work out with, be accountable to, and someone who is present, encouraging me all the way. It means so much to me that you guys are right there with me, backing me up and encouraging me as well. It's just kind of extra that he's there working through this with me and we can both see the results, knowing that what we're doing is working. I hope that makes sense.

Anyway. That's my results post and a little more.

I'm kind of a nerd

So I had 3 options for breakfast this morning (we're in the middle of a program at work and have breakfast and lunch catered). This week I've been having granola and yogurt with a side of fruit each day. It's actually quite good and filling. I thought I would branch out and go for the bagel and cream cheese. I was surpised that the yogurt option had more calories and carbs, but less fat and sodium, and equal-ish in the protein/fiber area. I was heading towards the yogurt/granola option (because my main concern right now is lower fat and sodium intake). I actually set up an excel worksheet to figure this all out. I then thought that I should also look at the cereal option. I went for the Special K/soymilk combo which beat out all other options, so guess what I went with? I also concluded that I don't like this soymilk we have at work. I've been using Almond milk at home and like that a whole bunch more. My stomach doesn't like the real milk.

Oh and I saw this on a random blog and it made me laugh..and kind of reminded me of why a started on this new kick



Tonight is weigh-in and measurements. Wish me luck!

Today's update

I should probably think of something else to write about, but you're stuck with this for now.
Today was kind of an awesome day. I was able to talk to both of my parents on the way to work. They're on a road trip to Tennessee, all by themselves. It's actually kind of cute. I was super tired at work this morning, but was able to get things done. The meeting that I was all a flustered getting together on Thursday/Friday ran as smooth as silk, minus not a lot of on site participants (webinar available). I was able to help one of the ladies at work so I was able to ease her stress.
I got to the gym and barely found a parking spot. For some reason Tuesdays seem to be super busy at the gym. Anyway. I was there early enough to get a good 15 minutes cardio warm up in before my trainer session. Matt said we were going to focus on legs which I was all for, but then one of the cable machines opened up so we ended up using that the entire time. It was really fun and different. I know, I'm sick, I just used "fun" to describe a workout. I did this one exercise that he called a push/pull. It reminds me more of a karate chop move so I renamed it for him. He complimented me on the increase of my strength and said that he's now worried if I were to ever punch him. I informed him that there's a good possibility I will never punch him because I'm afraid I would hurt myself, which is a true story. I never learned to throw a good punch and I don't want to cause pain to myself. I'm selfish that way. Anyway, we had a really good workout and I was able to do some more cardio afterwards. I still want to do Zumba, but it's scheduled right after my training sessions and I just don't think I would survive. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be sore tomorrow.
The best part of the night was when I finished my food diary. On the program that he has me on I'm supposed to stay under 36 grams of fat/day. It's been really hard. I don't consider my meals being super fatty, but I always seem to be 50+ grams/day. Tonight after all was said and done I was at 39! So close! I guess this just means A LOT of fruits and vegetables for this girl.
We're gonna do measurements on Thursday. Start making your guesses on lbs/ins dropped. I may even post them.
Oh and to top it all off I got to talk to my sister in Florida. I love you Jenny!

I'm down a pant size!

YAY! I think we're doing measurements tomorrow during my training session. Hopefully that will show too :) Thanks everyone!

Disappointment strikes

So I had a really bad day at work yesterday. It seems that everything I do is wrong. We have a lecture series starting on Tuesday and it's my first time doing it. I was trained for about 20 minutes on what I was supposed to do.. about 6 weeks ago. And I'm apparently supposed to ask questions if I don't know what to do or how to do it. But if I don't know what I'm supposed to do then how am I going to ask questions. I may have cried a few times at my desk.

Yesterday I really wanted to lift weights so that I could get that pent up anger/energy. But I had a training session on Thursday and one this morning. I asked the trainer dude at the front desk if he had any ideas what I could do, saving my muscle strength for today. He didn't know what my trainer had in mind (which is a good excuse) so he really wasn't any help. He suggested the row machine, but that really wasn't what I was looking for. I started on the bike and did 35 minutes. I had to push myself so hard this time. It was depressing. I decided to walk on the treadmill. I put the incline and speed up and quickly lost my breath. So I put it back down. I almost tried jogging, but I didn't want to make a fool out of myself.. or kill the machine (there is a weight limit). I stuck it out for 15ish minutes and then thought I'd finish up on the row machine. It was actually harder then I thought it would be, but I didn't get that sense of satisfaction that I had a good workout. It kind of sucked all the way around. I didn't even stay around to stretch, I just got home as soon as I could.

I scheduled another session for me this morning. I usually just do Tuesdays and Thursdays, but for some reason I thought another session today would be good. We did an arm burnout. I'm surprised I can type. It was good. I pushed myself until my arms couldn't move. I did extra bench push ups and was able to do triceps dips. I still got frustrated that I wasn't able to complete all the sets at the starting weights. Matt was super patient with me and really motivating. After the workout he said I did a really good job and it's nice that I push myself. He has a couple clients who kind of just wuss out and give up I guess. He said he wished all his clients worked as hard as I did. Complements coming from a hot guy really help :)

Another part was the whole nutrition thing. I've been using myfitnesspal.com and he wanted me to start logging my food on their apexfitness, which is fine, except their database isn't as full of information as myfitness so I'm logging in a lot of nutritional information. And then it shows how much fat, protein and carbs I'm getting. I was doing so well on the calorie part, not really paying attention the others. It looks like I've been taking in way too much fat and carbs and not enough protein. So I have the working out part down.. now I need to focus on the diet. I've cut out a lot of sweets, like A LOT. I hadn't gone grocery shopping last week so I was eating out for lunch a lot but tried to keep it to salads and lean sandwiches. Now I have the groceries so I need to do some meal planning.

I spoke to my sister this morning and she really put this whole thing into perspective for me. She said that I've been doing so good for a whole month, I'm happier, I feel like this is really going to work this time and I'm just doing better all around. Satan is definitely working on me to get me back to my old self where I wasn't happy with who I was, didn't want to do anything and really struggling with depression. I know this to be true. Satan is great at making us feel terrible, because he knows what he can never have and we are still working towards that greatness that is in store. I really needed to hear this. So onward and upward. Tomorrow's a new day. I'm going to go spend the afternoon with my sisters and work on getting out of this funk. Breath!

Attack of the sweat monster

That, my dear readers, is what is known as the sweat monster. It also contradicts
itself because it feels so great to know you're getting a workout, but you also feel absolutely disgusting afterwards. This is also another reason why I can't go anywhere after I workout. Even if I bring a change of clothes I still stink and you can't put enough deodorant on to recover from this kind of workout. And this is just after an hour of cardio. Imagine what I look like after my training session!

I've noticed that my self esteem is on the rise (starting from rock bottom it's slowly getting above sea level) along with my self consciousness. Yesterday during my training session we were doing all the exercises in the middle of an aisle. My old self would be worried about what everyone was thinking about me as they worked out. i.e. "man, she's hardly doing anything and practically dying", "why is she even trying to workout, she's too far gone" etc etc. I'm really good at making up conversations in my head.

My cardio session went wonderfully today. Right now I'm doing 60 minutes on the recumbent (?) bike.. the one with the back. Usually I'm just staring at the clock watching for this hell to be over. Today I was glad to see the time going and was able to kind of count by song.. okay 60 minutes.. the songs average 4 minutes, that would be 15 songs.. and then I count down that way. Also, it really helps to cover the monitor.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words. I really love this new experience. In fact, today is a full month of working out everyday (minus Sundays) I think this is the only time I have ever done this in my life. It's also the largest I have ever been. So, if I can do it anyone can. If there's any questions that you have I can answer them.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry that this is another gym posting. That's really all that's going on with my life right now. It's my main focus at least. Thank you for all of your support. I don't know what made me want to change and start doing this (I'm leaning towards the whole turning 3-0), but I definitely love it.

We did circuit training tonight. Not my favorite. We did 3 minutes on the bike at a high level to get my heartbeat up and then switched over and did 20 reps of bicep curls, triceps extensions and rowing, and then 15 push ups on the bose(?) ball, which is A LOT easier to do on as opposed to a full exercise ball, just saying. We ended up doing 3 rotations of this madness. The last time on the bike he wanted to get my heart rate up to 170 as fast as possible and then gradually come down. At about 160 I started hyperventilating so he started knocking it down sooner then he wanted. I didn't give up. I kept pushing myself. When the reps got easier I moved further out to increase the resistance. It really helps to have someone there, showing you want to do, keeping your mind off of what you're actually doing and motivating you through the whole ordeal.

To date I've lost 14 lbs. I still have a long way to go, but I think that's a great start. Matt started me on the apex fitness calorie tracker etc. I started a profile last week. I accidentally selected the increase sports training and gain weight option.. so it had me at 3300 calories, which I knew was a little crazy. We went through that today and fixed it, bringing me down to 2200. He said he would like me to stay as close to that as possible and we'll reevaluate at the end of the month. When all is said and done he wants to see me around 1700-2000 which I think will be fine to do. I still need to work on my eating. The good think about apex is that it has meal plans for you to follow if you want. I just need to set out a plan and then get the groceries for it and I should be good to go. Oh and the whole waking up early to prepare breakfast.. boo. We also calculated that I should be at my goal weight around July 23, 2013.. HAHAHAHA. He said we can made adjustments so they're monthly goals or whatever, but I thought it was funny to see that in a graph form, everything smooched together.

I guess in work news things seem to be going better. I'm a little busier right now. We have session 3 of our programs starting next week so that will be good. I need to do better at my "assistant" responsibilities since she's the one who really has a say in my employment.

I think that's all for now. I'll try to think of something different to post about for next time so I don't bore away all of my 4 readers :)

I might be a little crazy

I was watching the biggest loser this weekend. Those trainers kind of scare me, but man, that new trainer guy is HOT. For reals. I was thinking of my last few trainer sessions where I kind of took it easy. I didn't push myself as hard as I could. That's probably why I'm not getting the best results. I've renewed my desire and commitment. I'm even contemplating to text my trainer to let him know he can push me a little harder on Tuesday.. and I'm not going to wuss out. That kind of scares me, but I think my body needs it. I'm not really sore after my workouts and I catch my breath pretty quickly. I guess we'll see how it goes. I also need to work on my eating. Thursday and Friday I skipped breakfast all together. My calorie intake has been pretty low, but my calorie use has increased. I don't want my body to go into starvation mode and hold on to everything.
Overall I'm feeling so much better. I've lost 13 pounds and it feels great. I have more energy, my clothes fit better, and my mood has changed. I volunteered to take my nephew on a walk this afternoon. I had to go out and do something after sitting all weekend watching conference. I can't remember ever WANTING to go on a walk. I was also contemplating going to the gym tonight to burn off some more energy, but I thought it best to use that energy wisely and clean my room. And this is just the start. I can't wait to see where I end up! Stay tuned