my life is insane, and this is all I can muster.....

If someone doesn't prescribe me some sort of Speed soon, I may not make it. Let's just say this is day #4 of 5 hours of sleep or less. ANYWAY - I'm leaving for B-town tomorrow, and don't want the guilt of posting weighing me down. So I may or may NOT have a Friday post. There - that wasn't so hard.

In other news, today is "Installing Carpet in the basement day" and the crew showed up on time, hip hip. But I am a little concerned because there is a VERY elderly Hispanic man currently nailing down the padding in our hallway. Isn't there some sort of law about that? Like - the opposite of child labor? I really want to just tell him to go take a nap upstairs, but something tells me that may be inappropriate.....

Also can you tell by my verbiage that my IQ is steadily decreasing? "Like".....sigh.

see you soon!

progress continues.

Today's Primary lesson was on obedience. I made each of the kiddos a badge that said "I can obey" which they received upon them giving an example of obedience to the class. Here are a few snippets of convo we had during our lesson today.

• "Can boys where dresses?"
• "I want to use the hole punch - I'm good at punching"
• "My dad weared pink, so I think its ok for all boys to weared pink"
• "Can we pretend that my badge says "Fairy, Princess and Mermaid?"
• "That kid's nose looks like a crooked bird's beak"
• "Can anyone tell me what this word is?" "DUCK!!" "Close - its 'Obey'....."

lessons learned.

• if you have children, don't get sick....they still have to be taken care of.
  
• there are few things in life I detest more than vomiting.
• apparently dry heaving is HILARIOUS to infants.
• did you know they make a 1.3 liter Big Gulp? Dave was awesome and went to get me a "soda". Guess what he came back with?
  
• if you're too busy to spend time with one another, just get sick. You're miserable, but at least you're miserable together.
  

Can you tell I've had the best week ever?

6.6. and 6.

I was walking to the restroom at work and heard a telephone ringing. No biggie - I work in a sea of cubicles. But the ringing followed me in to the restroom. Was I calling someone by accident? Of course I was. While finagling the phone out of my pocket, I was hoping the person I was accidentally calling wasn't one of those I didn't want to talked to - you know, awkward.... I flipped over my phone and it said:

Dialing: 666....

Apparently I inadvertently called the Devil. He didn't pick up. If he had, the only question on my mind was - How much of my soul would it cost to win a gold medal? Part? Half? All?

glorious internet + some deep thoughts.

Our laptop was being used by a 3rd party over the weekend. I was without access (unless you count the i Phone) to the world wide web for an entire 4 days. I've since realized that I'm addicted to the internet....to the point that I probably need an intervention.

In other completely unrelated news, here is a letter my mind drafted to my body around 2 am last night.

Dear Body,

There are a few things we need to collaborate on in order to preserve my sanity and our over all productivity.

1. If you don't stop twitching your legs, they might get cut off.
2. The purpose of getting in bed around 11:3o pm is to sleep, not to toss and turn until 2 am.
3. Another benefit of going to bed early is to wake up refreshed and energized - ready for a morning workout.....Working out at 10:00 pm is not going to benefit either of us.
5. If you could do something about your stretch marks - that would be really helpful. They are very unsightly.
6. If you could also help us out a little with losing the rest of the baby weight, that would be helpful too. I've put a lot of planning and effort in to this endeavor and it seems that you're not pulling your weight (no pun intended - well, maybe it is.....)
7. Diet Coke is not a proper breakfast, or midnight snack.
8. Why can't you just like celery? Its in so many delicious dishes. Its also convenient, healthy and has a good price point.

Just some food for thought. Thanks for all you do.

xoxo,
Sarah's Brain

booby trap.

The other night I was in bed, trying to go to sleep, when I noticed Dave had left one of our bathroom cabinets open (the one under the sink). Great - I can either get up and shut it now, or trip over it at 3 in the morning when I get up to pee. Then I thought - I wonder if he's setting a booby trap for me? THEN I thought - why do they call them "booby traps"?

Breaking the "going to bed" silence, I nudged Dave:
Me: "Hey, why do they call booby traps, booby traps?"
Dave: "Its from when they used to set traps for the booby bird" (very matter of factly).
Me: Laughing so hard I couldn't speak + hitting my pillow + rolling around from the laughing pain.
Dave: "WHAT? That's why they are called booby traps"
Me: (still in between laughs) "Do you think it might be from the slang word "boob" used to describe an unintelligent person?.....Booby Bird" (more laughing)
Dave: "World Wide Web it is then."

Think to yourself which side you'd like to be on......because BOTH of us were correct. Check it out for yourself.

Kudos to Dave for knowing everything under the sun. And kudos to me for being immature.

preston, id.

In Preston, Idaho - you'll find:

Delicious Rolls

One sick PG

Tanks

Awesome Hats

Jack Sparrow on a motorcycle

Sunglasses

Thanks so much to Rob & Holly for letting us use their home as a hotel.

lessons learned.

• an infant CAN give his grandma a black eye. (too bad I was an idiot and didn't get pics).
• "Parf" is probably the funniest made up word I have ever heard.
  
• PG likes road trips - and by "likes" I mean, throws up.....chicken.....all over me.....3 times, and then gets a fever when we get to our destination. Boy Howdy!
• sometimes when someone says that Michael Bay is talented, and that they like his films, its best just to shut up.
• you're never too old to go down a water slide......and might I add this time I didn't even cry.
• plants are not my thing. R.I.P. basil, oregano and thyme. We hardly knew ye.

boise. part deux.

Yes, yes - my posts are very out of order, and very tardy. Here are some pics of the rest of our Boise trip.

We went swimming at this pool I used to life guard at. Dave loved the slides, and couldn't believe "I had been keeping this place a secret all these years " oh brother.

PG and Eire (Cecily's darling little guy)

We went shopping.

PG tried a lemon.

We slept occasionally.

And on our way home - we got stuck in this.....

We also ate insane amounts of Jack in the Box tacos. Don't knock it till you've tried it.
Thanks to all for an amazing trip. Going home = sadface.

the great debate.

A few weeks ago, Preston spent the morning at my sis in law Kristin's house while I went to work. When I went to pick him up, she informed me that he had been mesmerized with the classic Mr. Potato Head toy her daughter Maya has. PG has maybe 10 toys, so I thought - FABULOUS - I think I can swing a Mr. Potato Head doll. Dave and I set out for Toys R Us that weekend. (This is one of Dave's favorite stores - any excuse and we're there.)

We looked up and down all the isles where we thought we might find MPH. Eventually we ended up in the GI Joe isle, which I was quite certain was not the place. As I tried to get Dave's attention diverted from the GI Joe's to our current task at hand, we started arguing over where in the store MPH would be. Dave insisted "Action figures" which is just ridiculous - on many levels. I was maintaining that it was on the "toddler" isle. To which Dave argued that "MPH isn't a toddler toy - he's much more sophisticated".

Is this what my life has come to? Spending a Saturday in a toy store arguing that Mr. Potato Head could in no way, shape, or form, be an action figure? First of all - he's a potato, not a person. And what is his action per se? If anything he's a gender confused victim of body dysmorphic disorder. Regardless - I ended our squabble the usual way - with a 3rd party. Tracy, the Toys R Us employee, showed me where they were - in the "Preschool" section. I still think I was closer to being right than Dave, but who's counting......

Also - why wasn't this Spidey version in the store? I don't think I've laughed so hard in all my life.....Part of me wants to buy it, and put it on my night stand so I can belly laugh every morning when I wake up.

Also...ALSO - in Toys R Us there was an entire 2 aisles dedicated to Bratz dolls. How disgusting. Do we really live in a world that necessitates such an abundance of sleazy children's toys?