Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids, parenting, valentine's day on February 14, 2009| 5 Comments »
This is the first time any of the kids has managed to take me completely by surprise. Usually I catch wind of whatever they have up their sleeve long before it happens, or I orchestrate the surprise myself, giving one of them the seed of an idea, and then “forgetting” when the time comes.
I stumbled into the kitchen this morning to the sight of the construction paper hearts, and my eyes actually filled with tears.
Such exuberant love.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged ideas, kids, music, plans, rock band on September 29, 2008| Leave a Comment »
I think I saw the seeds of an idea being planted in my boy’s head yesterday.
We were at a groovin’ party that had an actual live band. There were oodles of kids of all ages, and my four were in with the rest, drinking root beer, clowning around and having the sort of time kids always have when they’re unsupervised at a grownup party. Tee found a gang of like-minded boys to practice skateboard tricks with (these cool cats actually built a half-pipe in their backyard, talk about a kid magnet) but the moment he noticed the band setting up, he abandoned his friends and skinnied up the tree house so that he could watch. He sat there, mesmerized, watching every move those young men made, and then turned to me with a gleam in his eye saying, “Didja see those drums?”
As a parent you can do your best to expose your kids to the things you think they should know about. You can read to them, take them to cultural events, bring them up in the neighborhood you think is best, whatever, but ultimately, it’s impossible to predict which moments end up being the ones that spark an interest. I often wonder what about their childhoods my kids will remember, which things will loom large and which will be forgotten. Even now, they sometimes tell me about something I said that was terribly important to them that I don’t have any recollection of, or want to reminisce about some event or other that I don’t even remember happening.
I wonder which of their random experiences will end up being the life altering ones. I hope someday I’ll find out.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged creativity, ideas, imagination, invention, kids, periscope on September 8, 2008| Leave a Comment »
This is a picture of Tee reflected in one of the mirrors in the periscope he built this evening.
I suggested he build a periscope when I saw him playing with a couple of small mirrors and a flashlight, not thinking that he would actually be able to figure out how to do it, but after scrummaging around a bit with scissors, plasticine and tape, he built one out of an empty milk carton, a cardboard tea box that he emptied the tea bags out of, and the two mirrors.
I was genuinely astonished, and he was truly delighted. Here he is in a dark closet, trying to see if the light he shines at the bottom will come out the other end.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids, parenting, personality on July 8, 2008| Leave a Comment »
The week before she left for her diving trip L didn’t seem interested in playing with friends. She hung around the house, reading, packing, and making up crazy games for the little kids. Her parting gift to Jay was a trip to the playground, and a lesson on back flips off the swing set. She swung really, really high, and then vaulted off the seat and did a back flip in the air before landing, sometimes adding a twist. By the time we left for home, a cadre of smaller children had gathered to ooh and aah, which initially had Jay glowing in vicarious pride, but soon resulted in her retreating to the monkey bars in a sulk. She sobbed all the way home about how nobody noticed HER, nobody cared about HER, and how much she hated being the youngest.
Fast forward two days and Jay is at that playground every chance she gets, trying to get up the courage to do what L did. I went with her this morning, and she tried to get me to rate her “flips” on a scale of one to ten. Then she asked me to be the announcer of the Monkey Bar Olympics, giving me my script, which went something like It’s the world-famous Jay, winner of eight gold medals, attempting the dangerous one-handed manouver, and we would ask the audience to not use flash photography as it might distract the athlete, and here she goes, look at her go, it’s Jay ladies and gentlemen, doing a double bar skip, please hold your applause, and she’s done, she’s finished, it’s Jay, winner of yet another gold medal for Canada.
Clearly a fourth child in a family of over-achievers.
Luckily for number three, he’s oblivious to the relentless race for success. He eschewed the trip to the playground in favor of more fulfilling activities, like making full body costumes out of paper and electrical tape. Stop! Do not enter the realm of the vile and evil masked knight…..
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids, neighborhood on July 6, 2008| Leave a Comment »
Looking at Jay in this photo you might be thinking that she was in that chair against her will, but she was actually gleefully participating in our neighbor’s garage sale. At the moment I took the picture she was clutching the change purse that she was in charge of, and keeping a close eye on the bargain hunters. This is a kid that likes nothing more than Having Things to Arrange, and whose little face glows with pride when she’s given any responsibility. Today was a dream day for her. She begged to go with me to help move furniture, and when I went home, she stayed on to help organize and price the items. Then she was promoted to change collector, and to her delight, given an official place to sit.
Here she is, greeting a garage sale hopeful.
She sat in that driveway from 7:30am until nearly 3 in the afternoon, right till the sale’s bitter end. When the last of the unsold trinkets was boxed back up, our kind neighbor gave Jay ten dollars for all her hard work, which I tried unsuccessfully to give right back, saying that Jay would have paid HER to be allowed to work the sale. I’m sad that our neighbor is moving. She’s been a grandmotherly presence for the kids, and they’re really going to miss her.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged gardening, kids on May 25, 2008| 2 Comments »
It took 4 kids 3.5 hours to move 3 yards of soil from the driveway to the newly built raised-bed planter. I helped them at the very beginning, but once it became clear that they were more than capable of doing the work without me, I took the opportunity to transplant some very tall, thin and straggly tomato seedlings. It was a terribly productive day in the garden, and it gave me a renewed appreciation for how hard those kids can work.
Interestingly, once the job was done, Tee took off into the house, and I didn’t hear a peep out of him for the rest of the day. I guess after several hours of hard physical labour he felt the need for some solitude. Not so young Jay. The shoveling just whet her appetite for work. She and I spent till suppertime planting carrots, lettuce, spinach, cucumbers, dill, oregano, and parsley. Then we watered all the newly planted seeds and took the laundry off the line. When we went into the house I wished and wished that dinner would magically make itself, and as usual, it didn’t, but I did still have an eager little helper, so at least I didn’t have to peel the potatoes.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids, unschooling on May 14, 2008| Leave a Comment »
… that when the kids get up in the morning they’re bursting with enthusiasm for all of the projects they have planned. Glue sticks, masking tape, toilet paper tubes, shoe boxes, plasticine, markers, chalk, and paint were all in use this morning even before breakfast. They don’t need ideas from me, and they hardly ever say that they’re bored. Love it, love it, love it.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged family, kids, unschool on May 13, 2008| Leave a Comment »
Today I observed the spontaneous emergence of loan sharking in a primitive culture. Overheard during a Monopoly game between the seven and nine-year old: “I’ll let you owe me the $100 if you pay me an extra $30 every time you pass Go.”
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids, music on April 10, 2008| 1 Comment »
T loves music. He recently discovered the joys of downloading tunes from the internet, and if he could, would play these songs at top volume every minute of the day. His current favourite is So Happy Together by the Turtles, and I think it’s the most endearing thing in the world that he’s memorized the lyrics to a love song.
On his current playlist:
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged homeschooling, kids, mud, spring on April 3, 2008| 5 Comments »
Yesterday L and I had a lovely “girls day”. I took her to get her hair cut, and then we went rubber boot shopping. Her idea. She’s been yearning for a pair of fancy fashionista rain boots for a while now. We found a pair, and when I saw some little pink flowery ones, I couldn’t resist buying them too, because J, I know, will outgrow her love of everything pink very soon, probably over the summer, and then my days of mother to anyone pink and frilly will be over for good.
As soon as we got home, the girls went off to the creek to try out the boots. Hand in hand, swinging my camera by its strap, ready for a little adventure, which, because they were headed by Miss L, they got. The way J tells it, they got stuck knee deep in mud, L had to stick her hands under her boots to pry them out, and then had to crawl across the muck to rescue J, who by this time was shrieking in fear for her life (L, laughing hysterically and not at all sympathetically, told me that J must have thought she was being sucked down into quick sand, but J insists that she was merely afraid that she’d be stuck there forever). J was dragged bodily to safer ground, and then a second rescue mission had to be undertaken to salvage the brand new pink boots, which got left behind.
It sure explains why they arrived home nearly unrecognizable under a layer of mud. L says that people were staring at them as they clomped home with several pounds of clay on their boots, and mud in their hair, but that she didn’t care. She said it was an Excellent Mud Adventure. I’m just glad that J’s new over-sized winter coat in pale lavender that was meant to be used next year as well came clean in the wash.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged discipline, feelings, kids, mothering, parenting on April 3, 2008| 5 Comments »
T had a really fun morning today, sewing clothes for his teddy, and a really fun afternoon, having an extended Pokemon battle with a friend, but for an hour or so in the middle of the day, things just weren’t looking so good.
He was upset about something, frustrated that he couldn’t have/do/get/ something or maybe one of us wouldn’t play something he wanted to play, I can’t remember the details, but he got into a mood, and then got kind of stuck, which is typical for him. No amount of empathetic listening or jolly distractions changed the course of his increasingly foul outlook, and he spent the car-ride to diving in miserable attempts to blame me/his sister/the world for how he felt. He kicked the back of the seat in front, he made rude and annoying noises, he humphed and garumphed, and said antagonistic things. He told J that she was being too loud, and he growled at me when L didn’t pop out of the pool doors right at the moment we arrived. I finally turned around and told him to get out of the van and wait outside, which he did, his body language providing clear evidence of his satisfaction in proving how horrible his mother actually was. I had reached the end of my patience by that point, and simmered quietly inside the van, making little scratching noises on the steering wheel with my finger nails. I’m glad that I separated the two of us, because by the time we were all back on the road for our lunch at the deli, the tension had diminished, and after an astonishing amount of food was consumed, T clearly felt a lot better. (I made a mental note to remember that I have known since he was a baby that he needs to eat frequently, and that he gets grumpy when he’s hungry, which you’d think I’d know by now, seeing that he’s nine.)
Just before bed, he and I got a chance to chat. We talked about the events of the day, and I asked him what he thought about how he had acted in the van. He said that he felt badly about it, but that he had been grumpy, and that everyone gets grumpy sometimes. I agreed, but said that it was very important to try not to take our anger out on other people. That our most basic rule was not to intentionally hurt other people, and by infecting them with our negative mood, we would be hurting them. I told him that his anger would not be made less if another person was angry too. That he could try to feel the feeling and not DO anything.
He sighed, and said that he thought it would be very hard. Then he brightened, looked up at me, and said, ” I guess you’re kind of like my life coach. Like in basketball I have a basketball coach. Except that you and I never know which thing we’ll be working on, I just live my life and you help me practice what I need to know.“
Then off he went to bed.
I felt profoundly good, knowing that he thinks of me that way. That he didn’t see me as punishing him. That he’s willing to hear what I say, and willing to trust that what I say might be right. That he’s nine years old, and he can go to bed secure in the knowledge that he can feel his feelings, make mistakes, and it’ll be okay, because he’s just learning, and he’s got a coach.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged homeschool, kids, outings on March 31, 2008| 2 Comments »
The Canada Geese are back, winging low over the still-frozen river in search of open water. Spring is here, Spring Break is here, and while many people will be off on some sort of exciting travel adventure, we’re still here.
That’s okay though.
Realizing that it might be in my best interest to have a semblance of structure around here for the next week, or at least one outing a day on which to hang our hats, I tried to come up with a game plan. With every single school aged child in this city on holidays, I absolutely refuse to enter any public building, so exciting visits to the museum were out. Nature walks, well, okay, maybe one of them, but what to do with the rest of the days?
Then it hit me. My brilliant plan. There are at least four little diner type eating establishments quite close to where we live. We drive by them every single day on our way to diving, and I’ve always wondered what they looked like inside. So I decided that the kids and I would walk to one of those places every day for lunch, check it out, rate it on our private score sheet, and then walk home. A bit of exercise, some fresh air, greasy diner food, and I don’t have to make lunch.
Today we went to The Nook. What a dive. Honestly, they could try painting the place. It was well-visited though, there was all-day breakfast, and the portions were absolutely enormous. I think we were all a bit new to the idea though, because it was kind of strained and awkward, staring at each other and making conversation while we waited for our omelettes. I guess we don’t go out to eat that often.
I didn’t have my camera with me, or I would have included a shot of the mini plastic sunflower on our formica table. It was quite a cheerful little thing.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids on December 4, 2007| Leave a Comment »
Walking (trudging) home from knitting today:
Jay: Is it okay if we pretend that you’re the Undead and if we touch you our skin will shrivel up and fall off?
Me: Sure, why do you ask?
Jay: I was worried it might hurt your feelings.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged creativity, kids on November 22, 2007| 1 Comment »
They’re tablets of the Gods. We write in a special language on them and we use toothpicks. We have Risk figures to guard them. They’re made out of plasticine. It has the journey of the King of the Gods written on it, and if you know it, then it tells you how to get to a treasure. It shows you a map and tells you how to get to it, if you know the special language.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged balance, kids, life, sports on October 17, 2007| 3 Comments »
Here’s the big girl, all of eleven years old. Having post-school snack, in her half hour between school and diving practice. She dives from 5 till 8 every evening….an hour of dryland training and two hours of pool time. This is her first year of full-time school AND diving, and it’s a lot. She sure enjoys her weekends off!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged backyard, fire, friends, kids on October 15, 2007| 1 Comment »
An autumn evening by the fire.
Gathering sticks, armfuls of leaves. Skeletal branches spiking into the magic hour. Honking geese, a fat and placid river. Hotdogs, black and blistered, marshmallows. White buns. Sticky faces. Black fingers. Burrs in hair. Weed salad, pretend soup, leaf tea. The descent into the mysterious, magical world of twilight, gathering dark, and imagination.
I sit on a stool, quiet by the edge of the fire, unnoticed, and listen. My children, in their own world.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids on October 7, 2007| 2 Comments »
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
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| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 | |||||
team effort 