Our evenings are incredibly busy during the school year. Diving has been a mainstay every night of the week for years, and we’re all sort of used to it, but now Tee plays basketball three times a week, and Jay has added two nights of diving to the two of gymnastics that she already does.
The kids get home from school, eat snacks and then get dropped at their respective sports. Home again, in time for a heated up supper, and off to bed. I’m driving around town between 4 and 8 every night, trying to coordinate these activities, and whoever doesn’t have something that night is stuck at home with R.
It seemed alright to be so busy in the evenings when the kids were with me all day at home, but now I’m noticing that the edges are starting to fray a little. Tee in particular is showing signs of distress. He’s always been a quiet guy, and he’s always needed a lot of time to transition from one activity to the next. If he’s involved in something, he doesn’t like to be interrupted, and he’s never liked too many activities in one day. Now he’s complaining about feeling tired all the time, and complaining that he’s always having to rush around. Off to school, then out for recess, then back in, then off to music class, then to gym, then home for lunch, then back to school for more of the same, then home again, where I’m rushing out the door. He and I had a long talk last night, and through tears, he said that all of the busyness makes him feel lonely. He’s in a crowd at school, and there’s never any time for connecting at home either. He said that he misses me, and that he feels isolated.
I can’t tell you awful it felt to hear him say that.
It was never the plan to have all of our evenings so crammed full of activities that we’re like ships in the night, but it ever so gradually snuck up on us. First it was L, age 6, saying that diving looked like fun, and it was, and at first it was just one or two nights a week, but then she started loving it and got so good at it that she became a competitive diver, but even that was okay when there was only one activity to schedule around. There was always soccer, but that was only in the spring, and basketball was manageable when it was just R playing. The two little ones came along in the car, and we spent time reading or playing cards, and watching the big kids do their respective things. But then they grew up, and they wanted to do what the big kids were doing, and then Jay’s kindergym evolved into real gymnastics and this year she’s started diving “just like L” and darn it all, she’s so motivated and keen and good at it, and the club has asked if she’d like to join the competitive stream too.
The trouble with the activities is that each child really seems to benefit from them. It’s just that all of them together, in combination with full days of school, leave little time for anything else.
I’ve felt quite torn about this for a while, and I’m not sure what to do.
team effort 