Today I am annoyed. I wish that the behaviors that were acceptable, well not acceptable but tolerable, in the morn would not awaken my queen bee attitude upon my arrival home from work, thus spawning a sudden swarm of caustic discontent, giving me the desire to reach out and sting someone.

These are the days that I fail to see the blessings heaped upon my life and instead only see the coals burning through the time allotted. These are the days when I feel taken advantage of. These are the days of my life on which remorse can feed.

Therefore, these are the days that it is best to retreat, close the door and ignore the horde, before I sting myself with regrets.

This is my hometown, it’s calling, it’s time to go exploring, do the meet and greet, stroll the sidewalks and be seen.

These are my cookies, they’re calling, well not these actually, I refer to the ones I never made, but with cookies there is no such thing as too late, just too little.

There are grandbabies to hug and kiss and cuddle

There are books

 and books and books to read

Puzzles to make

and games to play

The grass, I must not forget the grass, that war is not won, yet.

All of this just to say, I have heard the call of outside over there

And perhaps if I am very very lucky I will be carried away with tidings of great joy, I’ll give it a week, at least.

Well that’s it, the last Christmas morning gift explosion. It seems like a good transition time, it wasn’t planned, it was just a realization that quietly arrived and feels right.

Maybe because my youngest has been accepted to the college of his choosing and we’ll be going away next summer. I am sure he will be coming home, but my experience with the growth that happens that first semester away, makes me know that things will never be the same. I remember standing at the train station to pick up one of my daughters her first visit back, I didn’t recognize her until she said hello, her aura of self confidence glowed so brightly I was blinded.

Also, perhaps it would be good for my grandchildren and my daughter to begin shifting their early morning celebrations into accommodating the exuberance of the young, and not have so many adult aunts and uncles setting the pace. We will miss watching their glee and excitement, and selfishly I really do not want to suggest they party on without me, alas, heavy sigh, que sera sera.

Okay, pity party over, For I am otherwise kind of excited to be entering onto a new era. There are so many options and choices for what to do with the day for celebration. I am not to keen on setting things into stone, creating unchangeable traditions, fluidity is a good thing (really this is just a polite way of saying I am easily bored. I like to do things like move the silverware and dishes around when I put them away just to shake things up a bit, which is just another polite way of saying I am annoying) anyway, the last few years we have gone to Foo-Chow for Christmas dinner, it has been fun, and gets everyone out of their pajamas, which was a tradition I was bored with, and then there is my favorite part of going out, no dishes, however I am not stuck on it, and perhaps now that there will not be Christmas morning to prepare for I can come up with some new ideas.

• Maybe a birthday party for Jesus with all the trimming and games, and definitely a piñata.
• How about a formal dinner with ballroom dancing.
• A scavenger hunt.
• A costume party
• Trying out a different country’s way of celebration would be exciting, the foods, traditions and gifts.

I can’t wait, but this does mean I cannot do my traditional Amazon Christmas shopping and planning on the 22nd of December. I will have to start sooner, but this is more of a very bad habit that I will be happy to forsake. Hehehehe, now to go tell the family I have an idea.

Around Thanksgiving time I came across an alphabetical list of giving thanks. At the time I thought it was clever and would be fairly easy to compile.

Hah!

And now in the season of receiving, as it has recently been described, it is even more difficult.

She was right; it is much harder to receive than it is to give.

My Wish List

Apples – Bowls of apples, many colors, everywhere

Buoyancy – Lightness or resilience of spirit

Coffee – To let it go, let it go, get free of its merciless hold

Dance – To learn to waltz……….sigh

Eschew inertia – Gotta move it move it

Frankness – To be able to speak up when necessary

Gratitude – Every minute of every day with a happy heart

Hugs and kisses – In abundance

Ideas – Lots of them!

John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world , that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” This gift is for me and you.

Knowledge – Is power, Is freedom

Laughter – Deep, cathartic, and tear inducing.

More Books – I know, I know, that’s cheating, but books!

Nosegays – Violets, freshly picked, yes.

Open – To new adventures

Permission – From whom:for what? Myself:for love.

Quiet – Inside my head and out.

Retire – Dream on.

Surrender All – To the King of King, the Lord of Lords, my Savior, Christ.

Tulips, roses, and bouquets of daisies – Oh my.

Understanding – A state of cooperative or mutually tolerant relations between people.

Volunteer – somewhere, somehow, something.

Walk  in the morning again – It’s time.

X – Be excellent to each other.

Yellow – Mr Rabbit and the Lovely Present, by Charlotte Zolotow

Zip-a-dee-doo-day, Zip-a-dee-ay

My oh my what a wonderful day, when Christ was born.

Life is so unpredictable.

I never would have been able to have come up with the storyline of mine. Where a witty artist of the words, whom I do not even know, would be my source of encouragement, the force that kept me centered on the real, during my last battle with my close and personal demons, fear and failure.

For without his verse, I do not think I would have continued. The vexation is that he has no idea what he did for me, and I cannot say thank you.

Unless of course you do.