Monthly Archives: August 2017

Solutions

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I have this unreasonable dislike of dirty windows. However, I also have a completely reasonable dislike of cleaning them. So I suffer. I know, I know, I should just look through the window, not at them, but I just can’t. I did say I was unreasonable.

Anyhow, I have now come up with a solution that does not involve solutions of the squeaky clean kind, I have discovered the loveliness of window stickers.

They give the window an additional dimension, and along with the accumulated haze, create an illusion in my mind that I am inside a dream, and the outside over there does not exist. 😌 and how completely reasonable and necessary it is, to be able to escape now and then……….

Ps. Perhaps I should include that this is also a good excuse solution for not taking down the holiday decorations 😏

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The Culprit

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The vines mysteriously died and the pumpkins were left to fend for themselves. Obviously not all of them made it to maturity 😑

Well today I suspect the culprit has been found…….hum 🙄

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But who can blame her? That fence was enough to stop the challenged chickens, but no way was it keeping out a rogue rabbit 😝

c’est la vie

There is always next year to grow the giantest pumpkin in world!!!!

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❤

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Control

Giving up things one enjoys as an attempt the regain control……hum?

Anthony at the Recovering Legalist wrote a post which had much to ponder. I am not sure if I can apply the need to atone to myself, but the need for control, absolutely.

I had not really considered my frequent withdrawals from my blogging as a bid for control in an unstable life, however with just a wee bit of processing I can see it.

For it is at my most desperate of moments that I panic and go on a deleting rampage.

Those desperate times when I am floundering around looking for a rescue, which I know will never arrive, are the times that I pull in close and stop everything I can. What is that other than an attempt to feel in control of  something, anything, even at a loss of innocent pleasure.

So, because all I have is myself. No one to catch me when I fall, no one to lean on during the hard times, no one to help me find some stability in my increasingly unstable life, I need to get out of the fantasy life in my head, which has me looking for a hero, and step up and rescue myself.

How am I going to manage this? Well, I just don’t know. One breath at a time I suppose.

As a side note, no it’s the main note actually, I dismissed the need to atone quite quickly, because Jesus has already done that for me. So I don’t feel the need to punish myself, and somehow I feel it would be diminishing His gift of grace if I did.

For my sins are forgiven me as far as the East is from the West.

Sigh….I love you Lord.

Blessings Belinda

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